The Forgotten Cousland
by RogueWardenGirl
Summary: A mage who shouldn't exist. A spirit who has never been seen before. This is the story of Elissa Cousland, born mage and raised noble. When her family faces the ultimate betrayal, can she and her fraternal twin, Aedan, make it as Grey Wardens and save Thedas from the Blight? Or will Loghain and Howe get to them first? An AU story with some cannon parts. Reviews are appreciated!
1. The Aftermath

Duncan's words still ring fresh in my mind. My parents' dying words still ring fresh in my mind. Everyone I ever knew...gone in the blink of an eye. Only Aedan and I survived, along with my mabari, Wolf. Ser Gilmore used to tease me about naming my dog that, but Aedan liked the sound of it.

"Do you think Fergus is still alive?" Aedan asks quietly.

"I hope so," I whisper. My twin brother looks a little more than upset, but he's always been a leader, and his leader face is on right now, despite everything. I know I was born first and therefore that technically makes me older, but I look up to Aedan. He's always been what I couldn't, always done the warrior thing right while I had to cover as a rogue.

"You're not hurt?" he asks.

"No," I say quietly, staring into the depths of the campfire. "You?"

"My arm is bleeding," he says quietly. I get up to do something about it, but he shakes his head. "No, save your mana for Ostagar. I don't know if any of the Wardens will give you lyrium potions, but we don't want to push it."

"Aedan, it-"

Just then, Duncan returns, dropping two rabbits by the fire. I shut up instantly, deciding it's smarter to learn more about him before I trust him with knowing I'm an apostate. Wolf gets up and sniffs at them, but Duncan waves him away, eliciting a growl from the mabari. He looks at me, and I tell the dog to listen. He whines, but pads back over to my side, curling up with his head on my lap and back to Aedan. My brother reaches out and scratches his back.

"Will you tell us more about this Joining ritual?" Aedan asks him while he guts and skins the animals.

"I'm afraid I cannot," Duncan says. "Be patient. We will reach Ostagar tomorrow and you will see."

"Why is it so secretive?" I ask. "It's not like we're going to back out. We don't have a choice." Not that I would if I did. I've always wanted to join the Wardens and since Aedan always followed me, he has too. It made me surge with pride when Duncan told our parents he was really in Highever for us, not Ser Gilmore.

"It's has always been a secret," Duncan says. "We do not question the old ways, I'm afraid. Now sharpen your weapons, polish your armor, something. We will be pushing it tomorrow. There's going to be another battle most likely."

Aedan shrugs, producing a whetstone from his pack. He takes his longsword, the Cousland family blade, and busies himself with running the stone along its length. I just sit here quietly, staring at a pendant of my mother's. Before we fled, she pressed it into my hand, telling me to never forget where I came from, to never forget that I'm a Cousland. I've had trouble staying at the castle, believing what Mother Mallol always said about mages. I've wanted to run away to the Circle sometimes, but our guards always caught me before I could.

Now I am more than determined to remind everyone who I am. Howe will pay for what he did. I will see the man dead and fed to the buzzards before I die.

I sigh, removing my quiver and setting it down beside me. I pull my bow out of it, doing my best to string it while sitting. Eventually, I'm forced to move Wolf and stand. He curls back up next to Aedan, waiting impatiently for me to sit again.

"A fine weapon," Duncan says.

"Uh, thanks," I reply. "My father made it for me."

"Ah," he says, nodding as he looks back down to the second rabbit. "Your father was a good craftsman, then."

"He was," I mutter, sitting. Wolf returns to my lap, whining softly. I rub his head. "I'll find you a new friend, Wolf, I promise." He whines again. "And we won't forget Oren."

Aedan makes a noise in his throat. I look up as he pulls off at a buckle on his side. The scale armor we found in the treasury fit him surprisingly well, so I let him keep it, deciding I would remain in my robe. I finger the cuff of my dress, remembering the day my mother had it made for me. Howe was coming to talk to Bryce and his son, Nathaniel, and daughter, Delilah, were coming to see Aedan and I. She had wanted me to have something nicer than the usual shirt and pants I wore, so I got this. I'd had the tailor cut slits in the sides that go up to my thighs so I could move easily. I've never been a big fan of dresses.

"You realize you can't continue in that," Aedan says.

"I know," I say. "But I'd like to have it until I can get armor tomorrow." My brother nods, looking back to his armor. He wipes dried blood and dirt from it.

"You're bleeding," Duncan says.

"Yes," Aedan replies. "Don't worry about it, though. I'll get a mage to look at it tomorrow."

"A wound like that should not go ignored."

"I'll bind it," I say quickly. "I'll have bandages in my pack."

"Excellent," Aedan says, moving to my side. He gives me a knowing look as I pull his shirt sleeve away. "There goes my favorite shirt." I snort, producing a salve, a poultice for him to drink, and linen to keep the salve on. I hand him the flask of red liquid and he gulps it down, grimacing at the taste. The infection around the cut disappears immediately, but I still rub the sticky green paste over his skin, smearing it thickly inside. He winces at the sting, but I shoot him my best 'you're a baby' face and he shuts up. I wrap his forearm and use a clear paste to keep the end stuck on the rest.

"The rabbits will be done shortly," Duncan announces. "Until then, I think we should discuss tonight's watch rounds."

"Leave it to Wolf," I say. "He's slept enough, and he can wake Aedan and I without alerting others."

"That should do," Duncan says, nodding. "Make sure you sleep well. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for you."


	2. Ostagar

Aedan and I follow Duncan under an arch. The bridge I see just beyond leads into a magnificent fortress. I can hear soldiers bustling about from within. But first, there's a man in gold armor blocking our way across. I recognize him immediately even though I've never seen him. King Cailan.

"King Cailan, I didn't expect-"

"A royal welcome?" the man asks, smirking. "I was beginning to worry you'd miss out on all the fun." Duncan shakes his head and starts to say something when Cailan continues. "And who might this be? The other Wardens said you'd found some promising recruits. I take it these are those two?"

"Yes, Your Majesty," Duncan says.

"No need to be so formal, Duncan! You are Bryce's youngest children, are you not? I don't think I've met either of you."

"No, Your Majesty," Aedan says. "I'm Aedan."

"And I'm Elissa," I say.

"Nice to meet you!" Cailan says. "Your brother has already arrived with Highever's men, but we're still waiting for your father."

"I'm think you'll be waiting for some time yet," I mutter, clenching a fist.

"What?"

"I'm afraid Arl Howe attacked Cousland castle a week ago, killing everyone inside," Duncan says. "Had we not escaped, he would have killed us, too, and told you any story he wished."

Cailan's face turns into one of disgust. "I-I can scarcely believe it! You have my word, as soon as we are done here, I will turn my army north and bring Howe to justice." Aedan thanks him. "No doubt you wish to see your brother. I'm afraid he's scouting in the Wilds and I'm not sure when he and his men will return."

"We are not eager to tell him, Your Majesty," Aedan says.

"Of that I have no doubt," Cailan says sadly. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I must return to my tent before Loghain sends out a search party. Farewell, Grey Wardens!"

"He seems to think the battle will go well," I say after he's gone.

"That he does," Duncan agrees. He goes on explaining our day, but I kind of zone out, leaving Aedan to listen. Afterwards, Wolf follows the Warden-Commander across the bridge while Aedan and I jog ahead.

"Duncan said we should find another Warden named Alistair and some armor for you before returning to him," Aedan says. "Hey, you there! Do you know where we can find an armorer and a man called Alistair?" I wince inwardly. Aedan has always been a little commanding. Not that it matters, but that's not okay.

"There's a vendor just within the camp, ser. He sells armor, and Alistair was in the ruined temple arguing with a mage last I heard." Aedan nods his thanks to the guard and we continue on our way. The first thing we see are templars. There are mages behind them with smoke and light coming from their hands, but they don't look like they're...here. Maybe they're in the Fade.

One of the templars grabs my shoulder as we walk past. The gauntleted fist squeezes tightly enough I know I will bruise.

"What in Maker's name are you doing?" Aedan snarls, shoving the man off when he realizes I'm not following anymore. "Don't touch my sister."

"She's an apostate!" the templar retorts angrily.

"I'm a Grey Warden!" I snap, stepping away. "Don't touch me again."

"My apologies," he grumbles.

Aedan shoots the man a glare and we keep walking, stopping briefly to listen to the priestess speaking to some assembled soldiers. Then we turn, heading off toward a man with a smelter behind him.

"I'll go find armor for you, sis," Aedan says. "Ask that woman if she knows Alistair." I nod, heading off to the indicated woman, who is leaning up against a tree with her arms crossed. She's a mage, that much is obvious from her robes. And she's not a young one either. Her hair is white and pulled back the way I saw other women do it.

"Hello," I say.

"Good day to you," she says, smiling. "And who might you be? One of Duncan's recruits?"

"Has every heard of us?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

She chuckles, shrugging. "More or less. I am Wynne, one of the Circle mages."

"I'm Elissa," I say.

"What can I help you with?" she asks.

"My brother and I are looking for a Warden named Alistair. Do you know where he is?" She makes a thoughtful expression, staring off into space.

"Yes, he's just up that way, on the right," she says, pointing over her shoulder. "Tell me something, please." I shrug, but nod my assent to her question. "Have you ever faced darkspawn before?"

"No, but I've seen a dead hurlock," I say. "We passed one on the way here. Duncan explained to us that genlocks resemble dwarves, hurlocks humans, and shrieks elves."

"Yes," Wynne says, nodding. "Have you heard the Chantry's origin of the creatures?"

"Of course. I've asked quite a few mothers if darkspawn are just Fade spirits," I say, smirking. She laughs a little.

"Unfortunately, no," Wynne says. "It's not that easy."

"No," I agree. I hear Aedan calling my name, so I start to go. "Thank you for your help, Wynne. May the Maker watch over you."

"Good luck," she says.

I jog twenty feet across the courtyard to my brother, avoiding looking in the direction of the Tranquil mage just over. Aedan takes my bow and quiver, gesturing at the scale armor sitting on a chest. He's wearing heavy chainmail now and it shines in my eyes. I cover them, wincing.

"You really are a knight in shining armor," I say.

He chuckles, pointing. "Hurry up. I had that adjusted so it would fit you. Did to she tell you where Alistair was?"

I nod, taking the dull grey armor in my arms. The smith points me to a screen set up where I can change. I do so quickly, shoving my clothes in my pack before returning. Aedan hands me my weapons before we depart, paying the man as we go. He follows me up an incline, clanking along. My armor isn't exactly quiet either, but it's not as loud as his.

"I will not be harassed in this manner!" a dark-skinned man in robes shouts.

"Oh, sure, I was harassing you by delivering a message," a blond man in splintmail retorts, crossing his arms. "And here I was, going to name one of my children after you. The grumpy one." I cover my mouth with a hand to keep from laughing as the mage storms off the way Aedan and I came. He turns to watch the mage go, one eyebrow raised. "You know, one thing about the Blight is how it brings people together."

"I know exactly what you mean," I say.

He grins. "It's like a party! We could all hold hands and dance in a circle! That would give the darkspawn something to think about!" The two of us laugh while Aedan sighs, massaging his temples. "We haven't met. I'm Alistair."

"I'm Elissa and this is my brother, Aedan," I say.

"Oh! The recruits from Highever," Alistair says, understanding dawning on his face. "Nice to meet you both."

"Nice to meet you too," Aedan says, offering the Warden his hand. Alistair clasps it and they shake, eyes locked. Man stuff. Hmph.

"What was that argument about?" I ask once they're both done staring.

"The one with the mage? Nothing really. The revered mother sent me to deliver a message to him. I'm sure she meant it as an insult. You see, I used to be a templar."

My eyes go wide, but I don't pause. "That would be awkward."

"That's an understatement," he says, chuckling. "Well, I suppose we should be getting back to Duncan now. If you have any questions, let me know. Otherwise, lead on!"

"Gladly," Aedan says, turning on his heel and marching off.

I tag along with Alistair. He might have been a templar, but he's funny, and kind of cute, so...eh. I could at least try to be nice. "What can you tell me about the Joining?"

"Nothing," he says, looking forward as we follow my brother. "The four of you will be heading into the Wilds, though, and since I'm the most junior member of the Order, I'll be accompanying you."

"Really? Hmm. That sounds like fun," I say, smirking. "I'll watch your back if you watch mine."

He blushes, fumbling for words, but somehow manages to get out a weak 'yes'. I laugh, because by the time we're back at Duncan's camp, he's as red as a tomato.

"You found Alistair, did you? Good," Duncan says. "I trust you're done upsetting the mages, then?"

"What can I say? The way the revered mother wilds guilt, they should stick her in the army," Alistair says.

Duncan sighs, running his hand through his hair. "Have you met Daveth and Ser Jory?"

"Just the cutpurse," Aedan says.

"Alistair, go collect them," Duncan says.


	3. The Korcari Wilds

"Darkspawn!" Alistair shouts.

Aedan, Jory, and him run forward, drawing their weapons. I draw an arrow, aiming at the mage standing at the center of the bridge. Daveth aims at the two genlocks fighting with the other men. I loose an arrow at the emissary's face. It still casts a paralysis spell on Aedan as he bashes his shield at a genlock. The blow comes up short, and as I'm about to shoot the thing, Alistair runs his sword through it.

"Go help Jory and Daveth!" Alistair calls. "I'll help Aedan!" I nod, taking off down the rickety wooden bridge. Jory gets surrounded by hurlocks, but he swings his greatsword in an arc and rips them to pieces. I get off an arrow, aimed at a genlock sneaking up from a small rise off to the right.

I feel something slam into me like a dash of cold water. It throws me forward and I lose my bow. I struggle to get to my feet, suddenly drained of all energy. At first, I'm confused, but then I remember what Alistair said all those hours ago.

'_I used to be a templar..._'

He used a smite for some reason when he could have used a cleansing aura. I get my head up only to see a sneering hurlock emissary standing over me. An arrow sticks out of the side of its helmet. Fuck. I missed.

I do the only thing I can think of. I have so little strength left, but there's just enough. Just barely. I cast a spell and the thing goes flying. Jory doesn't miss a beat as it staggers into range of his greatsword. He stabs it from behind then goes back to the others.

"Elissa!" Aedan yells. My brother rushes to my side, dropping to his knees. "You need to get up. Come on!"

"I can't..."

"Damn it!" Aedan exclaims. "Alistair! Watch my back!" The former templar nods, busying himself with distracting the darkspawn from us. "You're so lucky I had enough for this." Aedan produces two lyrium potions from his pack. He pops the cork off one and hands it to me. I don't even pause; I take the blue liquid as it sloshes around the flask and down it in one gulp. "Better? "

"Yeah," I say. "Thanks."

He nods grimly, taking his weapons. He gets to his feet and throws himself at a hurlock, slamming it within the reach of Jory's greatsword. I climb upright, searching for my bow. I find it, draw an arrow, and fire at a genlock, making sure I hit it where I aimed. Satisfied, I launch several more, all true to their marks. As Daveth decapitates the final genlock, I slump over, panting.

"Need this?" Aedan asks, handing me the other lyrium potion. I shake my head, but store it away in my pack, just in case. He goes to the small pool of stagnant water to clean off his sword while I collect my arrows. The entire time, I feel eyes on my back. It's not hard to guess whose. Alistair probably hates me now. Oh well. His loss. I'm not a bad person just because I'm a mage.

"Here," Jory says. I look up, finding myself face to face with a quiver of arrows. Their tips are covered in a thick goo. My eyes light up. "Found these on one of the genlocks."

"Thank you," I say, taking the fire arrows from him. I sit on the ground and take them from the quiver, tossing the disgusting darkspawn thing aside. These arrows though...they're nice. I pull a cloth from my pack and secure it around my belt before depositing the arrows inside of it. That'll work nicely.

I see a shadow in front of me as I situate myself. I look up into Alistair's hazel eyes. He doesn't look mad, just...confused?

"What?" I snap.

"You're a mage," he says.

I huff, crossing my arms. "What of it?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I'm sort of surprised. You're a noble, but a mage too? And you wear armor and use a bow to boot. That's not exactly something a mage does."

"He has a point," Aedan teases.

I shoot my brother a glare, but he only laughs. "My parents didn't want to send me away, so they hired an apostate to teach me. He died when Howe attacked the castle. I'm not a blood mage either."

Alistair shrugs again. "I was just surprised." He starts to walk away, but hesitates and turns back to me. "Sorry for smiting you. I'll be more careful next time."

"No harm done, Alistair," I say.

He smiles sheepishly and joins Aedan in cleaning his weapons. I huff again, looking at Jory and Daveth. "What?" I snap. They both jump, giving me innocent looks. I snort, satisfied with that. I decide to take my free time to clean up my armor as much as I can. I wipe off what little darkspawn blood there is. It only takes a few minutes, and by then, Alistair and Aedan are ready to continue.

"Think that's the tower we want?" Aedan asks, pointing up the hill we're approaching. Alistair nods his affirmative.

"What do you guys think? There's definitely gonna be darkspawn up there," I say.

"There are," Alistair says.

"Then let me go first," Aedan says. "I have the thickest armor. Alistair, Jory, follow me. Daveth, stay back and watch my sister." He looks at me, the same blue eyes I have serious. "Save your mana. I don't care what happens, only cast a spell if you have to."

"I don't want to cast spells anyway," I retort. He gives me an innocent look.

"Fine, fine. Whatever, let's just get this over with," Aedan says. "I want a nice hot meal before we have to perform the ritual." I chuckle, following Alistair as we start up the hill. My eyes flick everywhere, searching everything, and I spot a flash of movement behind a log. I whip an arrow out and fire into the crack of wood. A hurlock cries out, collapsing.

"Nice shot," Alistair says.

"Damn straight!" I exclaim, moving out of Daveth's way. He draws his daggers instead of his bow, leaping over another log. The darkspawn there leap at him too, but I have three arrows sailing into the ones behind him. Alistair barrels up the hill at an angle, shielding himself from arrows. Aedan does the same while Jory charges at the leader and the darkspawn around it.

"Elissa! Archers!" Alistair yells.

"On it!" I shout back, shifting positions to focus on the hurlocks. They pepper Alistair and Aedan with arrows, but they just bounce off. I snort smugly. Amateurs. I would have killed them both by now. I put three arrows on the bowstring at once, taking several seconds longer than the norm to fire them. Three out of three hit their mark.

"I can do better!" Daveth shouts.

"Prove it!" I shout back.

The cutpurse leaps to my side, drawing his bow. But for every arrow he fires, I fire three. And when it's only the hurlock leader left, we fire at the same time. My arrow hits the thing's neck and it falls to its knees. Daveth's arrow hits it in the face just as it crumples.

"Ha!" I exclaim triumphantly. "I got it!"

Daveth scowls as he begins to retrieve his arrows. I leave the few fire arrows I shot, opting to collect the normal ones I can reuse instead. I wipe them off on a cloth I keep tucked in my pocket just for the purpose.

"Hey guys!" Aedan yells from within the tower. "I think I found the chest!"

I drop what I'm doing to join my brother, Alistair and the others on my heels. The chest we're looking for is sitting out in the open, smashed, with rubble scattered around it. Aedan is sorting through the contents, frowning.

"The treaties aren't here," he says.

"What?" Alistair demands. "How could they not be? No one's been here for years!"

"We'll just have to search for them then," I amend. "Come on, spread out. Let's find these things before we freeze to death."

"Already there," Alistair grumbles, huffing as he straightens.

"Well well well. What have we here?"


	4. The Joining

_I'd love it if you'd guys review. Lemme know what you think!_

* * *

><p>I whip around, loading an arrow to my bowstring within a second. My eyes narrow on the woman standing up on a landing.<p>

"Tis not everyday people wander into these darkspawn filled Wilds of mine. What are you? Scavenger or intruder?" She strolls right past me, totally unfazed by the arrows and weapons being pointed at her. "Hmm? What say you?"

"Neither. Grey Wardens once owned this tower," I say. I lower my bow, but I don't remove my arrow.

"Tis a tower no longer," she says. "So I suspect you are seeking something that's here no longer?"

"'Here no longer'? You stole them, didn't you? You're some kind of sneaky...witch-thief!" Alistair says.

I bite my lip, but still snort a laugh. "Way to take a stand, Alistair." He shoots me a grin.

"How very eloquent," she says. "I cannot be a thief, for twas not I who removed them." I blink stupidly, but put my arrow away for some reason. "My name is Morrigan."

"Pleased to meet you," Aedan says. "I am Aedan, and these are my friends, Alistair, Ser Jory, and Daveth. Elissa is my sister."

"Ah," she says. "The Cousland siblings, yes? My mother has told me about you." Before we can respond, she turns away, beginning to walk into the weeds. "Come, Grey Wardens. My mother shall return your treaties."

Aedan and I share a glance before following. Alistair pulls me aside, a look of confusion about him. I raise an eyebrow questioningly.

"What is it?" I ask.

"When did we tell her we were looking for treaties?" My eyes widen. "I think we should be wary." I nod my agreement as Aedan yells for us to keep up. Alistair sighs, jerking his head. "Come on. We're almost done, thank the Maker." I laugh quietly as I follow him back down to where my brother is waiting with Daveth and Jory, who are whisper-arguing, and Morrigan. She looks like she's about to bitch, but just turns on her heel and leads us down into a swamp.

I see animals I can't put a name to within the water and bubbles pop up and burst smelly, sticky water. I resist the urge to gag as we tromp through knee-deep water. I feel my boots fill with it. By the time we're back on semi-solid ground, my feet are soaked and my socks are in a similar condition.

"Great," I mutter.

"Keep up!" Morrigan calls.

* * *

><p>Hours later, only three til nightfall, we walk upon a pathway that leads down a hill to a small home. Smoke comes from the fireplace, lines are hung, and fish hang from the walls. It looks like it could be comfortable if it wasn't in the middle of a swamp.<p>

"Mother," Morrigan says to the old woman standing outside. "I bring before you five Grey Wardens who-"

"Shush, girl, I have eyes," the woman says. "I suspect they're here for their treaties. Very well." Her and Aedan start talking with interjections from Jory and Daveth, but I tune out, wandering back to the path. I keep watch for darkspawn while they talk, and it's not long before I hear something about the Witch of the Wilds, but I'm unfazed. I still stare forward at the trees with a stony expression, absentmindedly fiddling with my mother's pendant, when I hear leaves crunching under someone's feet. I look over my shoulder to see Alistair walking up to me.

"Hello," I say, looking away.

"About what Morrigan said..." He steps up beside me, frowning. "You're a Cousland? I met a Cousland a week or so ago. His name was Fergus."

"That's our brother," I say quietly. "He wasn't there when..."

"When what?" Alistair presses gently.

"I'll tell you later," I say.

"I just find it strange the teyrn let two of his children be recruited into the Wardens," he says. I shrug, looking back to see Morrigan start leading those three in our direction.

_He didn't really have a choice, _I think miserably. I walk up to Aedan's side and he hands me three scrolls. I tuck them away in my pack, putting them in the same spot as the vials of darkspawn blood. I don't want to know what that's used for, although I get the feeling I will shortly.

Alistair walks just behind me, not saying a word. I don't speak either. Aedan and Morrigan do, though, every once in a while. But other than that, our walk back through the Wilds is uneventful. Between Alistair's ability to sense darkspawn and Morrigan's flawless knowledge of the forest, we're back at the camp gates within an hour.

"Just in time," Alistair says.

"Farewell, Grey Wardens," Morrigan says. She walks back into the foliage we emerged from, vanishing from view.

"Even better," Alistair sighs. Aedan laughs and nods his agreement as he calls inside to the guard. A few moments later, they swing open for us, and we begin our short walk back to Duncan's camp. Wolf barks a greeting and I smile at my dog, ruffling his ears. He wags his stubby tail, causing my smile to grow.

"Good boy, Wolf." I pat his head as I stand back up. I see Aedan and Duncan staring expectantly at me. "What?"

"The blood, Elissa," Aedan says. "Give it to Duncan."

"Oh, right," I say, reaching into my pack. I produce the four vials and hand them to him. He nods as he shoves them into his pocket.

"Alistair, take them to the old temple."

* * *

><p>I volunteer to drink the blood before Aedan so I don't have to see if he makes it or not. As it passes my lips, I shudder. As it slides down my throat, I shake. And as it hits my stomach, I scream, but no sound comes out. It burns! It burns so badly! I hold my throat as my knees buckle beneath me. A waterfall starts running in my head. Waves crash and slam behind my eyes.<p>

And then there's a dragon. A massive, black, thorned beast, and it roars, making my headache worse.

I gasp, bolting upright. I blink, confused, surprised, and annoyed that there are two men leaning over me with thoughtful expressions on their faces. Alistair breaks out in a grin and offers a hand up, which I take gratefully.

"Glad to see you made it," he says. "Maybe Aedan will calm down a bit, but still...that was awful. Only one of us died in my Joining." He looks up from his feet. "I suppose congratulations are in order, though!"

I actually smile, despite the raging headache I have. "Thank you, Alistair."

"There's a meeting with King Cailan just down the hill," Duncan says. "He would like if you attended, Elissa."

I nod. "I'll be there." Duncan nods and walks off, leaving me alone with Alistair, who shifts awkwardly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he says. "But before I forget, here. All Wardens wear one. It reminds us of the lives lost." He hands me an amulet with a dark liquid sloshing around inside. It's not hard to guess what it is. "Uh...I guess I'll see you later, then?" I look up from the small item, hug him quickly, and run off down the ramp. I cast a quick glance over my shoulder to see him staring at me, confused, but I look away, blushing furiously. I slow to a walk once I see the war council assembled. My brother is standing beside Duncan on the other side of the table, so I join them. He squeezes my shoulder affectionately and I smile up at him.

"Glad to see you're okay," he whispers.

"Likewise, brother," I whisper back. He smiles at me before looking back to Cailan and Loghain while they discuss the battle plans. Duncan has some input here and there, but when I hear Aedan and Elissa, I look up and start listening. Our names were said. Why?

"You can count on us, Your Majesty," Aedan says. We follow Duncan back out to his campfire where Alistair is waiting. I can see him from here.

"What are we doing?" I whisper up at Aedan.

"Lighting the beacon so Loghain's men know when to charge," he replies. "We have to go to the tower of Ishal. Should be easy, but when is it ever?" I nod mutely, unable to look at Alistair now. He stands though; that much is obvious with the clanking of his splintmail.

"You heard the plan," Duncan says. "You will go to the tower of I shall and light the beacon for Loghain's men."

"What?" Alistair demands. I wince inwardly. Why did he have to stand so close? "Are you telling me I won't be in the battle?"

"This is the King's personal request, Alistair," Duncan says sharply.

"Fine, fine, but if the King ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, that's where I'm drawing the line."

I get a stupid idea and speak up. "I think I'd like to see that, actually."

He looks down at me, grinning. "For you, maybe. But, it has to be a pretty dress." Duncan gives a rather unamused sigh at our little side conversation. Alistair and I end up staring at each other while Aedan and Duncan talk, but by the time I draw my eyes away from his hazel orbs, Aedan is saying his farewell to the darker man.

"Duncan!" Alistair calls as the man walks away. "May the Maker watch over you."

"May He watch over us all," the man replies.

The three of us stand there in silence until Wolf whines, nudging my hand with his head. I smile faintly, scratching his ears. He nuzzles my hand happily.

"Come on," Aedan says. "We should get there as fast as we can."

* * *

><p>Alistair hands me a few lyrium potions after a particularly difficult bout with some darkspawn. I healed all three of them, ripping away any energy I had, and I smile gratefully at him. He smiles back before going on ahead with Aedan to clear out the few who are sure to be guarding the door upstairs. Wolf stays by my side as I down two of the potions. I feel moderately better now, and I feel that regenerating feeling tingling up and down my spine that means my body is creating more mana on its own. I grab my bow before jogging after them. Alistair is waiting for me at the door and he smiles again as I walk past to my brother's side.<p>

"There weren't supposed to be darkspawn here!" Alistair says.

"Weren't you the one complaining you wouldn't get to fight?" Aedan asks. Alistair blinks, surprised, but starts chuckling.

"Yeah, I guess so, huh?"

We spend the next hour or so fighting our way up the tower. They keep giving me lyrium potions as I'm forced to keep casting spells to protect us. They keep getting hit in similar places; they leave similar openings.

"Okay, final floor," Aedan says.

"Something horrible is bound to be up there," I say.

"A whole horde of darkspawn perhaps?" Alistair says. "Because whatever it is, it's big." He shudders at the thought. "Let's hope it's not an ogre."

"Knowing our luck..." I trail off. Aedan manages to smirk. "Let's just get up there and check it out already." Aedan and Alistair nod their agreement as I shove the massive metal door open. It swings wide, bouncing off the stone wall. It booms, making me cringe, and even Wolf is silent. I barely get up three steps when I hear something walking around up there. "Oh, yeah. It's big, all right."

"Ogre," Alistair whispers. "Maybe..."

"No maybes," I say. I draw an arrow, creeping up the stairs carefully. Wolf lurks along beside me, ears back. A growl rises in his throat and I whisper, "Easy boy. Shh." I can see the light of a fire and hear crunching. I don't want to know.

"Come on," Alistair urges from behind. "Keep moving."

I take in a deep breath as I start up the final steps, stepping as quietly as possible. I come up over the final only to see a huge creature with its back turned to us as it eats something. I see the blood flying as it crunches down into it. Metal grinds. A person. It's eating a...person. I wince, looking away. That's just...I feel so bad for them.

Alistair and Aedan join me. One of their boots makes a particularly loud clang on the stone floor and the ogre freezes, turning slowly to face us. It focuses on us, standing with a thundering boom. A bone belt dangles around its waist, skulls and leg bones and arms bones from all its victims. A body is clutched firmly in its fist.

"Oh shit."

It roars furiously as it brings its arm back. My eyes widen. The bloody metal heap of flesh comes flying at me, but I don't move. I am frozen in place, too shocked to move. It flies past harmlessly, but then the ogre rushes after it.

"Elissa!" Aedan sprints for me, but comes up short, getting thrown aside by the ogre in its mad charge. I blink, anger flooding through my body, and jump out of the way at the last possible second. The ogre rams the wall face first. It stumbles about, dazed.

"I'll watch your back!" Alistair says.

I rush to my brother's side, covering the gash on his forehead. Wolf slinks to my side, whining at Aedan. I scowl, pointing at Alistair. "Help him!" The mabari gives another whine before running off to the other Warden. I drop my bow by Aedan, fumbling around for my final lyrium potion. I casted a spell on the last floor that left me with virtually no mana, and now I need it. I swallow all of the foul-smelling liquid in one gulp before readying the spell that should fix him. "Aedan!" I shake his shoulder, but he doesn't respond. "Damn it!"

"What is it?" Alistair yells.

"He's unconscious!" I shout. I punch the floor in frustration, but cast the healing spell on him, along with a rejuvenation spell, before I grab my bow. I leap to my feet as the ogre swings and sends Alistair flying. My eyes widen just as the templar connects with my chest. We roll across the ground, grunting and groaning as metal hits both of us in the face. "Alistair! Get up!" He clambers to his feet as fast as his armor will allow him. He pulls me up with him, but we don't have much time to recover. The ogre swats again, but we both manage to get away fast enough. "Wolf! Distract it!" The mabari barks his understanding, biting at the ogre's ankles and dodging before the brute can hit him. I run over to Alistair, checking him quickly for wounds. "Do you have a knife?"

"What? Why?"

"Just give me one if you do!" I snap, holding out my hand as he pulls a large one from his belt. "Now I want you to stand over there and hold your shield out to throw me." His jaw drops, but I don't give him time to question it. "When I jump on it, throw me as hard as you can at it. Okay?"

"Where do you come up with this stuff?" I shrug as I back away. Alistair drops into a crouch, bracing his shield up with both arms. "You're sure you can do this?"

"I spent my life training as a rogue," I say, tensing my muscles. I flip the knife up into a forward position. "I can totally do this as long as you throw me hard enough."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." I ignore that comment, watching as Wolf chases it close enough for it to work. I lock eyes with Alistair and nod. He braces himself better and nods back. I spring into a sprint almost immediately, leaping up onto Alistair's templar shield just as he flings it upward. I catch the ogre's shoulder in my free hand, the other flailing as it swings, trying to throw me off. I grunt as I strain to right myself and hold on. It bucks and roars wildly in anger, but I find a surge of strength and bring my arm up, sinking the knife into its muscles. It screams, swinging its arm forward in a fit of rage. I lose grip of Alistair's dagger in the process and am flung toward Aedan. I stop rolling just in time to see the ogre turn on Alistair, but he rolls beneath its legs and slashes open the inside of its knees. It roars again, collapsing, and his blade sinks into its face.

I push my body upright slowly, shaking as the world spins beneath my feet.

"Woah there!" Alistair says, catching me. I shake my head to calm my spinning vision. "Are you all right?" I blink quite a few times before nodding.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say. "Thanks, Alistair." I look up at him, staring into his hazel eyes a little longer than I probably should, considering I just met him this morning. But..."We should probably light the beacon."

"Right," he says, letting go of me. "I'll get it. Go make sure Aedan is okay. I'd hate for him to die, but...after surviving the Joining only to die two hours later?"

"I understand."

He stows away his weapons and retrieves his dagger from the ogre's back while I tend to my brother. He's stirring, albeit slowly, but it's something. At least he's alive. I would really hate to lose everyone. I don't even want to think about what I'd do if I did.

Alistair joins me after lighting it and he hands me a waterskin. I begin forcing some of it down Aedan's throat when:

"Darkspawn!" Alistair exclaims.


	5. Lothering

I thought the Joining was horrible. No, I was wrong. Getting shot with Tainted arrows is horrible. I still feel like they're inside of my body. I can still feel little bugs crawling across my skin. I shudder, slapping my neck for nothing. Alistair shoots me a concerned look, but says nothing. He's been rather quiet since he woke up yesterday. I've been up the longest since I got less arrows, but I was still unconscious for over a week.

"I can't believe Loghain would do something like that," I whisper.

"Neither can I," Alistair agrees. "We're the only Wardens left if your brother doesn't wake up. I'd hate for there to only be two of us." He looks over at me, eyes full of sadness. "Duncan's gone. The greatest man I ever knew...dead, just because Loghain betrayed us."

"He's going to answer for it, Alistair," I say, putting my hand on his shoulder. "I'll see him declared a traitor before the Landsmeet if that's what it takes." He offers a weak smile in thanks and I return the gesture. I only knew him for a day, but he's already breaking my heart with this depression. It's not right to see what seemed like a happy soul teared down to this. I recognize the face he's wearing; Aedan had it on the entire trip to Ostagar. I wore it as well, but...Alistair's bad jokes and charming smiles made me forget why I was sad in the first place. I just want him to feel better.

"Ah, there's your other Warden," Flemeth says. "See? I told you, you worry too much."

"Aedan!" I exclaim, getting to my feet instantly to hug him. He chuckles weakly, hugging me back.

"You're alive," Alistair breathes. He sounds as relieved as I feel.

"I am," he says, pulling away. "Thanks to Morrigan's mother." She glares.

"Do not talk about me as if I am not here, boy," she snaps.

"I'm sorry, I just-but what do we call you? I haven't heard a name yet."

"Some call me Asha-bell'anar, others Flemeth," she says. Aedan seems as unfazed by her name as I felt when she told me a few days ago. Alistair still shudders.

"I'm gonna go find Wolf," I say to Aedan.

"I'll come with you," Alistair volunteers. I throw him a smile over my shoulder as he picks up his shield. I start up the path into the swamp, Alistair clanking along behind me. "So...I uh, I believe you were going to tell me what happened to your family? The thing your brother missed?"

"Oh, that's why you came with me," I say, unable to keep the disappointment from my voice. Luckily, he seems to miss it.

"No, but it's one of the reasons," he says, smiling sheepishly. "Now. Are you gonna tell me or what?"

"I guess so," I mutter, stepping under a low-hanging branch. "You know who the Arl of Amaranthine is, right?" He nods. "Well, a week before the day Aedan and I arrived at Ostagar, Arl Howe brought his troops to our castle to ride to Ostagar with Fergus and our father. He told us that his men were delayed, however, and told our father to send Highever's men on with Fergus while they stayed to wait for his. It's a normal occurrence on the roads between Highever and Amaranthine, as the roads are poorly maintained by Howe. We thought nothing of it and Fergus took our men on while father stayed behind. That night, Howe's forces attacked our castle and killed my parents. They weren't delayed. They were waiting for Howe to tell them to attack. And while Aedan and I were searching for our father with our mother, Duncan, who had been visiting, found us. We found father less than ten feet from the servant's passage, but had to leave him behind because of his injuries. Our mother decided to stay behind and defend him and cover our escape. In return for saving us, Duncan asked my father for Aedan and I to join the Wardens."

I look up at Alistair slowly, swallowing back the tears that threaten to fall.

"I-I don't know what to say, Elissa," he whispers. "I-I...I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Alistair," I whisper. "We have a new family, here, with you." He offers a weak smile. "And hey, it's not like you're bad company."

"Oh, thank you, dear lady," he says, giving me an over-dramatic, sweeping bow. "That makes me feel so much better inside." I laugh and so does he.

"Thank you, Alistair," I say.

"For what?" He seems confused.

"For being a good friend when you're just as upset and broken as I am," I say softly. "For caring when we just met."

"Well, like you said, we're a family in the Wardens," Alistair says, smiling. "And family looks out for each other."

I return the smile, noticing his doesn't reach his eyes. "If you ever want to talk about anything, just let me know. I'll listen."

He nods, face blank now. "Is that Wolf?" He points and I look up, nodding.

"Wolf!" I call, dropping to my knees and slapping my thighs. "Come here, boy!" The mabari barks, bounding over to me. When he doesn't stop, my eyes widen just as a mass of brown fur slams full-speed into my chest.

* * *

><p>We meet up with Aedan and Morrigan on the path. Apparently, Flemeth offered her daughter's help without her consent, but here she is regardless. Aedan and I try to make conversation with our two party members, but it just turns into a bitching match between the two, much to Aedan's amusement. I just huff and roll my eyes, taking the lead while he tries to get them to calm down.<p>

"The highway should be just up ahead," Morrigan says stiffly as she walks up beside me. I raise an eyebrow. "How do you stand that fool? He's exasperating!"

I laugh, looking back at Alistair. He just shrugs, mouthing, "It's not my fault." I give him a suspicious look, nodding, even as a grin pulls at the corner of my lips.

"Alistair isn't so bad," I say, looking forward again. "Sure, he's a little awkward-"

"Hey!"

"-but he's still a nice man," I finish. "Maybe you should give him a chance."

"No," Morrigan says. "I do not suffer fools lightly."

Sighing, I shrug. "Suit yourself." She huffs, looking away.

As we come out of the forest, I can look down at a small village pacing the side of the Imperial Highway. Lothering, if I'm not mistaken. A pretty little town when it's not overrun by refugees. I feel a pang of guilt as I realize that there really are only three Wardens left in all of Ferelden. Only three of us between the Archdemon and the darkspawn horde.

"Oh, look," Aedan says cheerfully. "Highwaymen!"

"We should deal with them quickly," Morrigan says. "The horde is not far behind us."

I pull my bow off my shoulder, flexing my grip on it, and lead the way down the hill. Not twenty feet from where the highwaymen are standing does the highway even start. As I lead the party, the leader, a man who has an eerie resemblance to Daveth, steps forward, catching my shoulder before I can walk past. Wolf growls, snapping his jaws at the bandit, and he backs off immediately.

"There's a toll on this here road," he says, eyes locked on the snarling mabari. "You need to pay to get across."

"How much?" I ask, running a hand over my face.

"Ten silvers," another man says. He sounds a little...off. Lyrium-addled? But he's not a dwarf.

"Forget it," I snap. "We're not paying."

"Ah, sorry to hear that," the leader says, sighing.

"Right! We get to ransack your corpse!" the touched one says.

"I'd like to see you try," Aedan snarls, stepping closer. He has his shield strapped to his arm already, the laurel wreath of Highever showing. The bandits don't care, though; they draw their own weapons and surround us as a mob before I can even draw an arrow.

"Fools," Morrigan says, obviously annoyed.

"Let's make this quick!" the bandit leader says.

"Morrigan, I don't think we have time for this," Aedan says. She grunts her agreement. "Don't you agree, Elissa?"

"I think I do," I say.

I feel the spell rising in my mind, flooding my thoughts. My hands feel colder than they already are. Icy mist falls from my palms and coats my skin in little crystals. And before the bandits can scream for the templars, I throw my hands forward, showering them with ice spikes. Aedan and Alistair leap forward, swinging through the few that survive Morrigan and I's ice shards. Wolf rushes after them, ripping a poor guy's throat out so fast he doesn't have the chance to defend himself.

"Twould have been smarter for you to tell me you were a mage!" Morrigan snarls angrily.

"Why?" I snap. "What would it have done for either of us?"

"I wouldn't have drained so much mana on my spell!"

"Here!" I exclaim, pulling out a lyrium potion. "Take it! I don't want it anyway!"

Her eyes blaze as she snatches it out of my hands, consuming it as fast as I usually do. "Who gave this to you?"

"Your mother," I say stiffly. "Yesterday while you were doing something else."

She snorts in annoyance before stalking off after Aedan. Alistair comes up beside me, smiling weakly. "Real bitch, huh?"

"Seems like it," I grumble. "Well, come on. We should catch up before they leave us behind." Alistair nods, following after me and Wolf, who still has blood dripping from his jaws. "Aedan!" The man turns, confused that we aren't right behind him.

"Ah, Lothering," Alistair says, sighing. "Pretty as a painting."

"You finally decide to rejoin us? Falling on your blade in grief seemed too much for you then?" Morrigan asks, crossing her arms.

"Is my being upset really so hard to understand?" Alistair snaps. "What would you do if your mother died?"

"Before or after I stopped laughing?"

"Right, very creepy," Alistair says. "Forget I asked."

"Get off his back, Morrigan," I say. "He has every right to be upset."

Alistair decides to interject right then. "I was wondering if you'd looked at the treaties yet, actually. I know you have, Elissa, but Aedan, I'm not so sure..."

"Yes, I have," he says. "I looked at them while we ate breakfast."

"Hmm," Alistair says, nodding. "Good. Then if you have any questions about where the groups might be, ask me, or better yet, ask someone around town. Someone is bound to have a map we can buy."

"Great," Aedan says. "Then let's go."

"Ah! Wait, I almost forgot something," Alistair says. Aedan and I look at him expectantly. "Arl Eamon wasn't at Ostagar. He still has all his men. We could go to him for help, perhaps."

I wince, but Aedan laughs. "Sure you wanna see, Teagan, sis?"

"Maker, no!" I say.

"What happened between you and the bann?" Alistair asks, confused.

"Er...we were...betrothed a while ago," I say awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. "Against my will, might I add. I bet him if he could beat me in a duel, I'd stay engaged, but if I won, he and my father would have to call it off."

"Oh," Alistair mutters.

"I won though!" I say merrily. "Now let's keep moving, lest I tell everyone who Aedan and I are."

"Good plan, sister," Aedan agrees, leading us down the ramp to the refugee camp. The gaunt and abandoned eyes of what I assume to be orphans is not something I'll soon forget. "How about one of us go to the tavern, try to get some info maybe? The rest of us can stop at the Chantry and maybe the Chanter's board to see if we can earn some sovereigns."

"I'll go to the inn," I volunteer. "I am the one trained as a scout here, after all."

"Even better," Aedan says, patting me on the back. "Alistair, how about you go with her and Wolf while Morrigan and I head into the Chantry, then?"

"All right," Alistair mutters, nodding. He looks to me while the two of them walk towards a merchant and sister arguing with each other. "Well, lead on."

"Are you okay, Alistair?" I ask carefully.

"I'll be fine once I recover from Morrigan's presence," he says. I manage a weak laugh, spotting a group of elves standing off to the side by a small bridge.

"Something wrong?" I ask, walking up to them. I'm human, making me taller than all of them, even the father. Their kid sits on the ground a few feet away, drawing in the dirt with a miserable expression on her face.

"Oh, uh, well, yes," he stammers.

"And what is that?"

"The...the bandits on the road stole all of our things," the woman says.

"Did they?" I rub the back of my neck. "Well, lucky you, we killed them." Their eyes go wide in shock, but before running off, I pull a few silver out of my pocket and hand it to the man. "Keep that. Your family will need to eat some time." I offer a small smile, but their eyes widen even more, all three of them staring at the coin in his hand.

"T-thank you!" the man says. "This...this is the kindest anyone has been to us in a long while."

"It's the least I could do," I say. "May the Maker watch over you and your family." He returns the saying as Alistair and I walk away, Wolf on our heels. After a quick scan and questioning a templar that gave me dirty looks the entire time, we start across the bridge, catching a glimpse of Aedan and Morrigan as they walk away from a boy they were talking to. He's clutching a silver Aedan no doubt gave him and I smile. If one of my traits wore off on Aedan, at least it was the desire to help everyone.

"There, that must be it," Alistair says, pointing at one of the largest buildings here.

"How do you know?"

"Smell that?" he asks. I sniff, gagging, but nod. He manages to chuckle, which makes me feel a little better. "That's the smell of alcohol and piss. The exact same smell every tavern has."

"Oh, I'm so glad I lived a sheltered life, then," I say. "This is horrible."

"You asked for it," he teases.

"You sound just like my brother," I say, huffing.

"Which one?"

"Fergus."

"Oh."

We walk the rest of the way in silence, Wolf stopping to sniff small things, and one time, to chase a stray cat. Alistair laughs, actually laughs, so I don't stop him until he chases the cat out of the town. Literally. I call him back to my side just as we go through the door.

"Uh-oh," Alistair says. "Loghain's men." He scrambles, turning back to me. "They'd recognize you, wouldn't they?"

"If they've been with the teyrn long enough, yes," I whisper. "He just visited my father a month or so before the Blight started." He scowls and reaches behind my head, but it's too late. My eyes look over his shoulder and lock on one of the soldiers. His eyes narrow.

"It's the Cousland girl!"

"Shit!" Alistair exclaims. He whips around, catching a blow on his shield immediately.

"That's one of Howe's men!" I say, shocked. "Wolf! Get him!" The mabari starts to leap, but a Chantry sister steps between our parties before the weapons can continue flying.

"Please, there's no need to fight here!" she says. Orlesian. I'd recognize that accent anywhere.

"That man killed my family!" I snarl, shoving past Alistair. He locks an arm around me first, keeping me away from Howe's man.

"Teyrn Howe is the rightful ruler of Highever!"

"Then why did the banns give my family the teyrnir?!"

"They were fools to trust the Couslands!" he cries. "Now step aside, sister. The woman is a Cousland traitor, and they're both Wardens."

"You betrayed your oaths!" I shout furiously, barely able to keep the tears at bay. "You_ swore _fealty to my father!"

"I swore my fealty to Arl Howe before your pig father."

My eyes widen and I stop struggling, staring open-mouthed at Howe's pet. "Oh, that's it!" I throw Alistair off, reaching for one of my arrows. "Wolf! Find Aedan!" The mabari barks before bursting out the weak-hinged door.

Before Alistair or the sister can stop me, I've whipped my arrow out into the man's face. He staggers, holding his face as blood streams out of his eye. Loghain's man looks down in shock, eyes wide. Then he looks at me, eyes burning with hatred. His hand reaches for his sword, but then the Cousland blade is at his neck.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Aedan hisses.

The soldier gulps, but relaxes his hand. "Y-yes, ser."

"Take a message to Howe," I snap, stepping forward. He nods, eyes full of terror. "Tell him he missed two."

He nods again, and Aedan lowers his arm, allowing the man to trip over himself on husband way out. Aedan and I glare at the door once he's long gone, completely forgetting the dead sergeant on the floor.

"Bastard is working for Loghain," Aedan snarls angrily.

"They knew our father wouldn't help them," I say.

"Excuse me," the Chantry sister says, stepping closer. "But...did that man say you were Grey Wardens?"

"Yes," I answer. "Me, my brother, and Alistair. Morrigan is just...where's Morrigan?"

"Getting us a new friend from a cage," Aedan says. "Wait til you see what he is."

The sister clears her throat. "You are going to stop the Blight, yes?" I glance at the guys before nodding. "Good. Then I'm coming along."

"Um...what?"

"The Maker told me to," she says.

"Right..." Aedan starts.

"Really? Welcome aboard then!" I say. I meant it as a joke, but the sister seems to take me seriously and smiles at me. I curse myself in my head.

"I am Leliana," she says, offering a hand.

"Uh, I'm Elissa," I say, shaking her hand. "That's my brother, Aedan, and our friend, Alistair. The mabari is Wolf."

"Guys?" Alistair whispers, pointing at the body. "We might wanna get rid of that before the templars come knocking."

"Allow me," Leliana says, waving us off. "I'll meet you outside the town."


	6. Bodahn Feddic

After completing all the Chanter's board jobs and having Leliana sneak into town to collect our payment, we continue on toward the other side of the Imperial Highway. We run into a group of refugees I recognize from the tavern. They scream about the bounty on the heads of us Wardens, and how Aedan and I are worth much more to Howe. We had to kill them, sadly. I didn't want to, but they weren't going to let us past unless we did.

I feel the hair on my arms stand on end and a pickling feeling at the back of my neck. As we draw closer to the ramp up, it turns into a nagging sensation in the back of my head.

"Someone help us, please!" a deep voice yells.

I share a glance with Alistair, who has been at my side ever since Leliana rejoined us. Usually, Aedan would be there, but he's been back flirting up a storm with the woman. Our 'new friend'-a Qunari for Maker's sake!-Sten seems just as disgusted by it as Morrigan is.

"Darkspawn?" I ask.

"You can feel it?" Alistair asks, giving me an expectant look. I nod grimly, frowning. He pats my shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry about it. It'll go away as soon as they're dead." He looks over his shoulder, calling, "Darkspawn!" Aedan and Leliana snap to attention. She draws her bow expertly; I might have to ask her for tips later. I could use a refresher.

"Sten, you sure you can swing that thing?" Aedan asks.

All he gets as a response is a cold stare and the brute drawing the massive greatsword strapped to his back. I shrug, deciding I like Sten. He's got the right idea.

"Two groups! One left, one right!" Aedan orders. "Elissa! Go right!" I nod, drawing my bow, and sprinting around the ramp. I hear heavy boots race after me and assume either Sten or Alistair followed. Hopefully both. Let Aedan keep Creep and Insane Chantry Sister. I'll take my templar buddy and the quiet Qunari any day.

"Alpha!" Alistair shouts as he comes up beside me.

"Oh, fu-" I start. A massive axe whips overhead as I roll out of the way, spinning around on my knees to launch an arrow into its elbow. The axe falls as the hurlock screams. Sten comes up and decapitates it. A horned helmet rolls past my feet, but I ignore it and the head inside of it.

I spin around to where many of the darkspawn I am sensing are coming from. They form a protective barrier around something...

"Emissary!" I look around wildly for Alistair and Leliana. "You!" I point at the other archer. "Here!" She moves to my side, shooting off more arrows every now arrows again. "Alistair! Smite that bastard before he kills one of us!"

"But-"

"Just do it!" Aedan yells. His limbs are slowing as a spell takes hold of him. "Ack! Alistair! Hurry up!"

"Cover me!"

I whip around, trusting Leliana, a total stranger, to watch my back while I keep the darkspawn away from Alistair. Unfortunately, they seem to be able to sense that a few of us are Wardens, and are focusing on us three. Leliana has enough work cut out for her.

"Okay! I got it!" Alistair yells.

"Morrigan! Let's move!" I shout over to her. Her eyes are alight with a strange excitement, but she nods and follows me as we retreat to the cover of the cart beside the break in the highway. Two dwarves are hiding back here. I offer them a reassuring smile as I feel something only a mage can feel. I can see Morrigan shudder with the effects of a powerful smite, but we both manage to retain ourselves and rejoin the fight.

I start around the cart, but find myself face to face with a hurlock. My eyes widen as a wicked sword swings down to me. I cover my head with my arms just as a metallic clang pierces the air. I see the hurlock reeling back, sword gone. It skids to the stone ground, an arrow following. I look to Leliana, but she's already shooting at the darkspawn again.

I flip an arrow out and stab the hurlock in the neck before sprinting back to her side. Morrigan follows, deciding it's smarter if the three of us stick together. Leliana nods at us, spinning around to focus on the wall of darkspawn that are still defending their emissary. I opt to defend the men as they cut down the few not shielding their genlock. Morrigan casts spells here and there, but spends most of her mana keeping Leliana and I from getting killed.

As Alistair withdraws his Warden's blade from the final hurlock's chest, I turn and spend several arrows on the darkspawn crowd. I thin them out in one spot, creating a very, very small opening I'm not sure an arrow can fit through.

"Ah, damn it." I aim through the gap, not exactly sure what part of the genlock I'm even aimed at. I let out a breath as I release my arrow.

Several seconds later, a scream of pain pierces the air. I hear a body fall from within the circle.

"Nice shot!" Aedan yells.

"Let's finish this!" Alistair replies, leaping at the wall. I aim my shots at darkspawn swarming around him as Aedan rushes in to cover Alistair. Sten goes off on his own, cutting through several darkspawn at once.

"Morrigan! Freeze them!" Aedan orders.

She looks at me. "Are you capable of watching my back?"

"Are _you_ capable of not being a raging bitch?"

Alistair bursts out laughing. Morrigan doesn't find it nearly as amusing. "Just do it," I snap, turning back to the darkspawn. I duck under a blade and Leliana punches it in the side with her bow. I straighten while it tries to recover and shove an arrow into its face. The hurlock collapses at my feet.

"Move," Morrigan orders strictly. Leliana and I dive out of her way. A small blizzard erupts from her hands, freezing anything too close. The darkspawn are no exception, and once they're completely frozen, Sten charges through, spinning his greatsword in an arc. The darkspawn burst into chunks.

"Nice fighting everyone," Aedan says, nodding at Morrigan. She blatantly ignores him as he walks up to the two dwarves we saved. I busy myself with healing minor injuries, handing out the poultices I've made and using magic when needed. Halfway through healing a cut on Leliana's forearm, Aedan taps my shoulder. "Time to move, Elissa."

I nod. "One second and we'll be ready to go." He nods, moving off to talk with Alistair. I feel eyes on my back as I finish casting the spell and stand, but refuse to look back.

"All right," Aedan says.

"Everyone ready to move?" I ask, looking at all of them in turn. Morrigan fakes not paying attention as she picks at something on the hem of her revealing shirt. Strangely, my brother hasn't once looked at her like...that.

But I have noticed how much he's talked to Leliana in the short few hours we've known her. He seems to have taken a liking to her.

Which is exactly why I find myself far more suspicious of her than I would if he hadn't. She's playing the charm game with him, and I don't like it. She's already got him interested. This is sending off all the wrong signals to me.

Alistair falls into step beside me and Wolf as we start down the highway.

"Where to?" Aedan asks after a while.

"The Circle Tower," I say instantly. "The mages are going to be what decides this or not."

"Actually, sister, I was thinking somewhere else," Aedan says, hesitation clear in his voice. I raise awn eyebrow, looking up at Alistair. He shrugs, just as confused as I am.

"Well, what were you thinking then?"

"I was thinking Highever."


	7. Licking Lampposts

"What?!" I demand. "Why would we go there? We've no soldiers left!"

"Do you remember what Cailan said when we first arrived at Ostagar?" Aedan asks. "Fergus was scouting the Wilds with all our soldiers. None of them would've died. We still have all of our men, Elissa. And as far as we know, they would have gone back to Highever once Ostagar was lost. If we could get that many soldiers just by reclaiming our teyrnir, think of how many more men we'd have than if we just went to Redcliffe and fulfilled the treaties."

"A whole teyrnir of men," Alistair says, breathless.

"I agree with Aedan," Morrigan says. "Twould be foolish to chase after your brother in the Wilds, but it makes sense for someone to go home when there is nowhere left to run."

"And they wouldn't be far ahead of us," Leliana says. "A large force of men passed by yesterday heading north. They were not the bann's men, I swear. They had laurel shields."

"Highever," I say, still taken aback. "Home."

Aedan smiles and nods. "Home. Ser Gilmore and Ser Blanchett. Nan and the larder rats."

"All gone..."

After several minutes of silence, I add, "We go to Highever then, and hopefully, to Howe."

"Yes," Aedan agrees, eyes filled with a burning hatred. "I'll hang Howe's treacherous head from the ramparts to declare our victory."

"I like the sound of that," I agree maliciously. I look up at the sky, frowning. "But for now, I think we should rest. The sun has set." At the comment, the others look up and nod their agreement. "Think we should just set camp off the road?"

"Probably," Aedan agrees. "At the next marker."

So we walk the next mile or so in silence, the only sound that of our metal boots slamming into the stone floor. I still feel like someone is staring at me, but I keep that to myself and refuse to look up at Alistair while I feel like that. It takes another hour of walking for a ramp leading below to become visible. Gratefully, we all head down and lay on the dirt, staring up at the sky while arguing about who should collect firewood and find something for us to eat. Eventually, it's decided that Leliana will go hunt while Aedan goes to gather the firewood.

"Are you okay?" Alistair asks quietly once the group splits to pitch our tents.

"Yes," I say quickly. "Why?"

"You just...you seemed rather quiet," Alistair says. "And you weren't too happy with Aedan wanting to go to Highever."

"I'm fine, Alistair, really." I pull on a cord to finish with my tent. I tie it down with a stake before stepping back, hands on my hips, and wearing a satisfied smile. "But thank you for asking. I appreciate it." He smiles and nods. "Did you want to talk about Duncan?"

"Uh..."

"It's okay if you don't feel comfortable with it," I say. "Just tell me when you want to, and I'll listen. I already told you so."

"No, it's not that," he says nervously. "It's just...don't you remember me?"

"I...what?" Now I'm confused.

"You came to Redcliffe years ago," he says fidgeting with his hands. "Isolde told your mother about the 'stable boy'...?"

"Oh!" I say, nodding. "Yes, I remember that trip. Why?"

"I...was the stable boy," he says awkwardly. "The one you kept getting scolded for coming to play with?"

Understanding dawns in my head. "That was you?"

"Yes," he says.

"Aw, I missed you so much after we left," I say, smiling. "I looked for you every time we went back, you know, but you were never there. The last time, when I was engaged to Teagan, I just assumed you were dead or that you left."

"I did leave," he says, sitting. I sit beside him. "Eamon sent me to the monastery a week after you left. I only got out of being a templar because Duncan found me and I guess decided I wasn't suited for being a templar. You know, he was the first person ever to-" He pauses and shakes his head after a moment. "No. You were. You were the first person to ask me what I wanted to do."

"Yeah," I say, smiling. "I remember that day. We were watching Fergus and my father spar."

Alistair nods. "I've only been a Warden for six months." He brings one knee up to rest his arm on. "Do you know why Eamon sent me away?"

"No," I admit, shaking my head.

"Well, as you know, your parents didn't care if you married a noble's son or some farmhand," Alistair says. I nod. That's one of the good things I had growing up. I always had a choice, up until Teagan. "Eamon didn't want us becoming friends and..."

"We were children!" I say, eyes going wide. "We weren't even talking about that..." I shake my head.

"He didn't want me marrying into such an important family because...well," he starts. He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and looks away. "Well, I suppose it's because Cailan is my half brother. Maric...king Maric was my father."

My jaw drops awkward I start laughing, honestly believing he's joking, but when his face stays straight, I stop. "Dear Maker, you're serious, aren't you?" He nods. "Does Aedan know? Does anyone know?!"

"Aedan does," Alistair says, nodding solemnly. "So does Loghain. And probably Howe. Eamon and Teagan, obviously."

"So let me get this straight," I say. "Eamon didn't want us becoming friends because we might get married, and then you might see Maric when he came to our estate?"

"Pretty much," Alistair says miserably.

"Why...why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because we were too busy worrying about Aedan or walking," he says. "And...and when I tell people, they treat me differently. Like I'm no longer just Alistair. Even Duncan did. He kept me out of battles and everything." He hesitates. "I liked you not knowing. I liked being your friend again. But..." He sighs, running his hands through his strawberry-blond hair. "This all must sound incredibly whiny to you."

"No," I say quietly. "I understand." I put my hand on his. "I didn't want to tell you I was a Cousland or a mage. I didn't want to be any of those things after joining the Wardens." I pull off my mother's necklace, staring at the small silver clasp. Then I tuck it away in my pack, finding the pendant with the darkspawn blood in it. "I am a Warden now. My old life is nothing, doesn't define me. The Wardens do." I pull the chain over my head. "I won't forget, but I'm not a Cousland anymore." I look up at him. "Just like you're not a stable hand anymore." I smile at him and look away, but leave my hand where it is. "We're both Grey Wardens. Vanquishers of the Blight. Defenders of Thedas."

"I like the sound of that," he says, sighing.

"You still want to be friends?" I ask hesitantly, fearing that's all he has in mind. Because honestly, over the past few days, when we've talked, I've enjoyed it more than I have in a while. He's made me feel better about the massacre Howe ordered. He's made e forget that I was ever sad in the first place. I don't want that man to just be my friend. "Or...?"

He looks at me, grinning. "Or...what? More than friends?"

"Maybe?"

He chuckles, blushing all the way to his ears. "Maybe," he agrees, settling back with a small smile on his face. But knowing Alistair, that's a 'yes', no matter how he avoids it or dances around it awkwardly. "So...have you ever had a real...thing with anyone before Teagan?" He's blushing again, and I see the red go all the way down to his neck.

I giggle. "According to me, or Eamon?"

Alistair laughs. "Point taken."

"So you were raised in the Chantry, then?" He nods. "Considering that, does that mean you've never...?"

"Never what?" I give him a cross look, but he seems genuinely confused. "Never had a good pair of shoes? Ate jellied ham? Licked a lamppost in winter?" Now it's my turn to blush and look away. "Tell me, dear lady, have _you_ ever licked a lamppost in winter?"

"No, but now you're teasing me," I say.

"Make fun of you, dear lady? Perish the thought!"

"Seriously," I say. "Have you never slept with anyone?"

Understanding dawns on his face. "Oh, so that's what we're talking about. Well, I myself have never had the pleasure." His face scrunches up as he thinks about how that sounded. "Tell me. Have you?"

"No," I say, shaking my head.

"Any good reason a woman as beautiful as you hasn't?" Alistair asks. I look at him, a lone eyebrow raised. "Did-did that sound bad?" I laugh and shake my head.

"I just never wanted to with anyone I courted," I say, shrugging. "Why haven't you? If you really wanted to, everyone, men included, would swoon over you."

"Uh..." Alistair fumbles for words and his face manages to somehow turn an even brighter shade of red. "I uh...wait, what was that?" He looks over his shoulder, reaching for his sword.

"Now you're avoiding the question," I say, crossing my arms.

"No, seriously, Elissa! I heard something!" Alistair says. "Listen." So I do, straining my ears. Faintly, so faintly I have no idea how he heard that, I hear the sound of wagon wheels turning over the highway. "Do you hear it?"

"Yes," I say.

"It sounds like they're coming down the ramp," Alistair says suspiciously. He gets to his feet, drawing his sword. "Come on; let's check it out."

I grab my bow before hopping to my feet and following him off the path. The ramp comes into view not too long after, and so does Aedan, Leliana, and the two dwarves, along with their cart. Aedan is smiling and talking politely, so I sling my bow over my shoulder before approaching. Alistair follows, sliding his sword into its scabbard. Leliana turns to look at us, smiling. I return the gesture, finding it harder and harder to legitimately hate the woman.

"Who's this?" the bearded dwarf asks.

"This is my sister," Aedan says. "Elissa, this is Bodahn and his son, Sandal. Alistair...well, you heard, right?" He nods. "They're the other Wardens I was telling you about."

"Ah," Bodahn says, nodding. "Well hello to you!"

"Hello to you, too," I say, smiling. "Glad to see the darkspawn didn't get to you earlier."

"Mighty good timing," Bodahn agrees. "Sandal, say hello to the nice people."

"'Ello," he says, looking up at me with big eyes. "Enchantment?"

"Er...no, thanks," Aedan says, looking to Bodahn. "We've got next to nothing. You tagging along would benefit us."

"Course it would, lad!" Bodahn chuckles.

"I'm going to go start cooking this," Leliana says to my brother. "Can't have you all eating Fereldan mush, no?"

"I happen to like Fereldan mush," Alistair says defensively. I smirk at him and he shrugs. "Well, not that I wouldn't mind having something else."

"As long as you don't cook," I say, patting his shoulder.

"You don't know how well I cook!" Alistair says.

I start laughing, patting his upper arm. "No, but most men in Ferelden can't. Not even Aedan, and Nan had been teaching him for years." I look back at my brother, at the frown and the sorrow that passes over him, and instantly regret it. He's not had anyone to talk about it with. He's still hurting. "Look, Aedan, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought her up."

He shakes his head. "No, it's fine. I need to move on. We have more pressing matters to attend to."

"All right," I say. "I'm gonna head back. It's damn cold out here."

My three companions nod, and Bodahn and Sandal do, too. I lead the way back to camp while the dwarves pull their cart along, muttering quiet words in dwarvish at their ox. Alistair walks beside me, offering smiles every time I look at him.

I'm starting to realize just how lucky I am to have a friend like him.


	8. Lake Calenhad

_Hey guys, can you leave a review? I'd like to know what you guys think I could do differently! And I'm updating a lot today cause I have the time and the chapters done!_

It's not a long walk for us to see Lake Calenhad. We spent all morning alternating who got to sit in the cart, who had to keep the ox moving when the dwarves needed a break, and who would scout ahead when we would find a bend in the road. But now, Aedan and I, who have spent all morning on foot, decide it's time for a break. We need a breather and the dwarves say they need to restock their water supply and let their ox drink. Not like I don't approve. I could use some water.

"So a week to Highever," Sten says from behind me. My back stiffens and my fingers slow as I screw on the cap of my waterskin.

"Yes," I say carefully. "What about it?"

"Why do we go there?" he asks in that rumbling voice of his. "What is there that we need?"

"An army," I say flatly as I walk past. "My father held the largest amount of land in Ferelden, seconded only by the king himself. We have the largest standing army as of now. Even enough to crush Loghain and Howe alone."

"You said 'we'," Aedan says, looking up.

"We're going to Highever," I say. I don't leave a question there. I say it forcefully so Sten gets the message. "And we're going to retake the castle. It'll give us a base of operations for winter, and a good place to sleep when we pass to go to Denerim."

"Tis foolish to go hunting for a man so ready to kill you," Morrigan says. "Twould be smarter for us to fulfill the treaties before heading north."

A strong wave of anger washes over me and I clench my fists. "It would be smarter to have somewhere to wait out the winter in the west."

"Highever does not snow?" she asks.

"It does, but the castle is only a day's walk from the coast," Aedan says. "It's hardly ever cold."

"I believe we are only going there to fuel some desire of revenge," Morrigan says.

"Howe probably won't be there," Alistair says finally. "He's most likely in Denerim with Loghain, and has one of his men stationed to oversee it."

"Sadly," I agree.

"But Fergus might be there, or in the surrounding hills," Aedan adds. "And our brother was meant to be a leader. He'll be just as invaluable as Eamon and Redcliffe will be."

Alistair helps me up into the cart. He hops in beside me, grinning awkwardly. I grin back, and Morrigan gags. "Would you be kind enough to stop shooting sickening glances at each other?"

"Soon as you're kind enough to shut up," Alistair snarls.

"Let's get underway," Aedan says before the three of us can kill each other. "Bodahn! How's it going up there?"

"Almost ready, lad!" Bodahn yells back.

A few minutes later, with Aedan's order, the wagon starts moving, and so does the rest of the party. Alistair stares out the back, face blank. Conversations are sparse, but Leliana attempts talking to all of us except Sten. Seems she still doesn't approve of what happened back in Lothering. Oh well.

"So Elissa," she says, coming up on the side of the cart behind Alistair.

"Yes?" I ask, bored. I run a hand down my face, motion for her to back up, and after she does, I flip my legs over the side of the cart and hit the ground. "That's better."

"About your brother..." Leliana trails off, glancing at me with a curious expression on her face. "What is it that bothers him? And you? What did this Howe man do to your family, exactly?"

I sigh, looking away. Alistair appears behind me, boots clanking away. "A teyrn is a person elected by the local banns to be in charge of them, kind of like a king, but only over the area of the banns that agreed. My father was the teyrn of Highever, Howe the vassal. They were friends for years, ever since the Orlesian occupation. Howe fought for the rebels even though his family and Amaranthine were sided with the Orlesians. When my family regained our titles and lands, my father made Howe the arl of Amaranthine. At one point, Aedan and I were promised to two of his children. Howe was not pleased when our father changed his mind. But he said nothing even though it was obvious. One day, years ago, I caught them arguing in my father's study before my mother chased me back to Aedan and Nan. And before we joined the Wardens, the night Fergus took most of our men, Howe's soldiers attacked our castle. He'd claimed they were delayed, but...no. They attacked before Aedan and I could rally the few men we'd been left with. Our father...he was wounded trying to find us and our mother. We found him near the servant's passage, but the wound was too severe for him to continue. Duncan, the Warden-Commander, had arrived that day to search our men for potential recruits. And since the man he had intended to choose was going to end up dead, and since we were his original choice, he exchanged getting the three of us out if Aedan and I would join the Wardens. Our father agreed, but our mother chose to stay behind to cover our escape and defend our father as long as she could."

"I miss them," Aedan says softly. Wolf whines, going up to him and bumping his hand. "But we still have you, boy, and that's something." He scratches the mabari's ears, forcing a weak smile.

"If I may ask, who actually owns the mabari?" Leliana says.

"Wolf's my dog," I say. "But Aedan and I are twins and we were inseparable as children, so even though Wolf imprinted on me, he's been with Aedan since I got him. Wolf defends Aedan as much as he defends me."

The dog barks happily, tail wagging.

"If Fergus didn't make it..." Aedan trails off, looking back at me.

"Wolf will be all we have left," I finish.

"I'm sorry, for what it's worth," Leliana says. I look at her, trying to decide if she's just trying to get closer to Aedan, but all I see is genuine sorrow and pity on her face. I suppose that's better than worming her way past my brother's defenses.

"I hope Fergus is alive," Aedan whispers. "That man needs punched."

"Oh? And why's that?" Leliana asks.

"He should have stayed behind and waited," Aedan says, stiff-backed. "But it's not his fault. He couldn't have known."

"Howe will pay, brother," I say.

"I know," he says. He thinks of something, and then chuckles. "Maybe you'll nag him to death."

I laugh too, glad to see the subject change. "Maybe I will. Maybe I'll nag the Archdemon back into the Deep Roads."

"I'm not sure the dwarves would like that," Alistair says, chuckling.

"I still agree with Fergus," Aedan says. "They should've sent mother to Ostagar to scold the darkspawn back into their holes."

I laugh harder, so hard my sides hurt.

"Oh, I'm sure a well-placed arrow or sword will do the same," I say, smiling. "But that..."

"That would've been a sight to see," Alistair says. I smile up at him, nodding.

"Aedan," I say, walking up to him. He looks at me, raising an eyebrow. I hesitate before rummaging around in my pack as we walk. Wolf sniffs at various things, nipping at the bag every now and again, much to my brother's delight. He chuckles every time I swat at Wolf, but Wolf takes that as encouragement and keeps coming back every few seconds. "Damn it, Wolf! Move your ass already and cut that out." He whines, hanging his head. "Maybe you should behave, huh?" I pull out what I was looking for and scratch behind his ears, smiling. "You are such a momma's boy. Aren't you? Who's a pretty puppy?" He barks, smiling.

"Can dogs smile?" Aedan asks, laughing.

"They can now," I say, grinning. I turn to him. "Here. This...mother gave me this. I don't...I don't think I can hold onto it. I'll get too upset." I stick my hand out for him, our mother's pendant resting on my palm.

"Elissa, I can't take this," he says. "Just keep it. I'm sure she had a reason to give it to you."

"Fine, but just so you know, if I went to all that trouble for nothing, I'm going to kick your ass at camp tonight," I say, tucking it away again.

"I'll think about it," he says.

"You can beat her," Alistair says, smirking. "Look how small she is. So small and short."

I point up at him, eyes narrowed. "No, no, no. We are _not _starting with the short jokes, pal. Uh-uh, no way."

Alistair and Aedan start laughing.

"And Alistair, if you're so sure I can beat her, why don't you try tonight?" Aedan asks.

"Hmm," he says, looking down at me with a grin. "Maybe I will."

"I'm going to lose," I say, drawing out the 'e'.

"Sis, you could knock Ser Gilmore on his ass," Aedan says. "I'm sure you could beat this amateur."

Alistair shoots him a dirty look and I giggle.

"You're exaggerating," I say. "I beat him once, when he was still a squire. I can't fight with swords. You know that."

"You don't give yourself enough credit," Aedan says.

"Do you want me to bring up that time in-"

"Nope, not listening!" Aedan exclaims, falling behind to walk with Leliana. I start laughing at the shade of red on his face. Almost as red as Leliana's hair.

"You guys are idiots," Alistair says.

"Not as big an idiot as you are, though," Morrigan says. "They are related. Tis normal. You, however, are just an idiot for the sake of being an idiot."

He scowls at her back and I giggle, putting a hand on his arm to keep him from throttling her. "Easy, Alistair. Just ignore her."

"Yeah, yeah," he says, relaxing.

"Really. You don't dress in skimpy clothes, so you're all right." Alistair's eyes go wide and Morrigan whips her head around to shoot me a glare, but I just shrug. "What? I was just being honest. You do."

For some reason, she grins. "Fair enough, Elissa. Fair enough."


	9. The Duel

"Okay, you remember how to disarm someone, right?" Aedan asks. I nod and he nods back, tightening his shield on my arm. "Good. Don't let him get past this-" Aedan taps the shield, a faint ding sounding over the camp. "-and don't let him smite you."

"I fail to see how I avoid that, but whatever," I say, smirking up at him. He huffs, rolling his eyes, but hands me his sword. The laurel symbol of our family is stamped on the pommel.

"You're smaller, faster, and very good at this despite what you believe," Aedan says, stepping back. "You can win." I gulp, looking past him at Alistair, who for some reason, seems bigger than he usually does. "Good luck, sis. I know you can do this." He retreats to a log we dragged in earlier, sitting down beside Leliana. Of course.

"Ready?" Alistair asks, grinning.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I say, gulping. He settles into a defensive stance, sword pointing over his shield. Only his eyes and his hair are visible over the lip of the wooden kite.

"First touch wins!" Aedan says. "Ready? Go!"

Alistair doesn't pause or give me time to think. He rushes forward, launching blow after blow after blow. I somehow keep him from hitting me and block all of them with the shield, dancing around behind him. I mimic his earlier stance as he finishes through with a blow I avoided. He spins around faster than I thought he could, slamming his shield into me. My arm is shoved into my chest and I am thrown back to the ground. I groan as my head smacks a particularly big stone, but swing my legs over my head and roll back to dodge his next attack. I am on my feet the same instant, panting, as I adjust my shield on my forearm.

As Alistair swings, I see an opening. I throw my shield up as I drop to a knee. His sword bounces off harmlessly and as he recoils, I flip my sword around and slam the pommel into his chest. He staggers back, gasping, wide-eyed, and I advance when Aedan decides that doesn't count. As Alistair retreats to give himself time to recover, I take a moment to regain my wits. I blink rapidly to slow my spinning vision.

"Come on, Elissa! Do something," Aedan says.

"I was kinda planning on it."

Just as Alistair looks up at me, I lunge, slamming my shoulder into his chest. Pain erupts as my arm gets sandwiched between two masses of flesh and armor, but I push him back. He staggers and I smack the flat of my blade across his shoulder, panting.

"Ow," he whines, smirking. His eyes have a strange light to them, one that makes my heart race wildly in my chest.

"I think Elissa won," Aedan says.

"Obviously," Morrigan sniffs. "The templar fool didn't stand a chance."

"You thought I would win?" I ask her, disbelief filling my voice.

"Only because templars fail to give their recruits proper training," she says, standing. "And I am off to bed. Wake me when it's my turn for watch." With that, she strolls over to her secluded little camp that's no more than thirty feet away. She disappears inside of her tent immediately, and Alistair clears his throat awkwardly once she's gone.

"Good fight," he says, offering a hand.

"I didn't wound your pride or anything?" I ask, grinning, as I shake his hand once.

"Well, maybe a little," he muses.

"Hmm," I say, walking a little closer. He visibly gulps and I smirk. "I might have to fix that later." I wait for his face to turn red before smiling to myself and returning Aedan's weapons to him. He shoots me a knowing grin, to which I respond, "So do you guys wanna hear about what Aedan did at-"

"Shut up!" Aedan says. He retreats to his tent that same instant, face red.

"You just harass everyone, do you not?" Leliana asks, smiling.

I shrug, saying, "Only the boys."

She laughs, nodding. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night." Once she is gone, I make sure Sten has left for his tent as well before going up to Alistair again.

"That was sneaky," he says.

"It worked, though," I say, smirking. "After all, I did win, didn't I?"

"By using a very strange tactic," he admits.

"Still, a win is a win." I stand up on my toes to kiss his cheek. His face turns red faster than my own can and I take my opportunity to hide. "Night, Alistair. Sleep well." All he can do is nod numbly since he has first watch. I pat my thigh for Wolf to follow me into my tent. The dog bounds after me, tackling me inside. I push him off after getting showered in wet, slobbery dog kisses and dog hugs.

"All right all right! Sheesh!" I say, wiping drool off my face. "I'll give you a bone after I go get a bath in the river." I sigh, massaging my temples. "Again." He barks, spinning in a circle before leaping outside. I push myself up and follow him out. Alistair just nods at me as I pass him. Wolf bounces around between us excitedly. "I'm coming you stupid mutt." Wolf whips around, shooting me a goofy look, but I just laugh, following the mabari out into the forest.


	10. The Outpost

We passed Kinloch Hold yesterday. The templars gave Morrigan and I some hard stares, but Alistair and Aedan made sure they kept their distance. Wolf actually ran up to one of them, barking, and tackled him, sniffing his face. After about ten minutes of me trying to pry the dog off the man, Wolf just walked away, almost prancing smugly. If dogs can even look smug.

"We should reach Highever in the morning," Aedan announces as we pass a road sign. "With any luck, that campsite from yesterday was the army's."

"It certainly looked like it," Alistair says.

"We saw no evidence that there were infirmaries posted around," I say, leaning on my bow. "That's definitely a good sign it is."

"There you go, sister," Aedan says, clapping my back. "Optimism!"

"I've been optimistic since we left Lothering," I retort. "I'm even acting like myself. You...you zone out and lose focus more often than I do." He scowls at me, rubbing his face in exasperation. I just smirk at him, motioning ahead. "I'm going to run on. See what's out at the outpost."

"Good plan," Aedan says. "Why don't you take someone with you?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm faster on my own. I'll be fine, Aedan." He makes a 'do-whatever-you-like' motion at me and I huff, adjusting my grip on my bow before jogging off. My armor clanks, but not as badly as it could. I scale a hill instead of sticking on the road, propelling myself along with my hands and bow. At the top, I swing my legs in front of me and slide down to the other side. I roll to my feet at the bottom and continue at a jog. If we could get the wagon through these hills, it would save us an hour or two of walking, but we can't. It only takes me twenty minutes of jogging to see a tower rising out from the side of the road.

And it flies the laurel banner.

My eyes widen. I move at an angle around the hill until my back is completely covered. Then I climb up it, drawing an arrow just in case. I search the small camp for Howe's crest, but I don't see it. Or anyone, as a matter of fact. It looks abandoned.

"No one ever got anywhere waiting for something to happen," I say to myself. I slide down the hill on the side facing the outpost. Once I'm down, I load the arrow I'm holding.

Abandoned tents. I peek inside, but find the things truly abandoned. I use that to spur me on, looking in all of them before relaxing and deciding no one's here. I put my arrow back in my quiver as I walk over to the wooden tower. The door is slightly ajar. Hmm. I stick the tip of my boot inside and nudge it open, leaping back as it creaks. No one jumps out at me.

Stepping inside, the scent of death and rotting flesh fills my nose. I gag, covering my face with an arm.

"Hello?" I call, looking up the stairs after deciding the lower floor is empty. "Anyone up there?" I put my back up against the wall as I start up the steps. I step in something red, but I don't need to guess what it is. I swallow and keep going.

The first thing I see are the beds. All of them overturned and destroyed. Then I see the bodies. Shields and swords scattered everywhere. Lastly, my eyes land on the large, ripped up banner with Amaranthine's crest on it. I look at the corpses, searching for any sign they're Highever's men, but see nothing. Upon overturning a nearby round shield, my question is answered.

These are Howe's men.

Fergus and his soldiers killed them. A grin breaks out on my face. And the blood is still fresh. They're not far ahead. I could-

No. I'm a Warden. I need to go back to my companions.

I pick up the bloodied and battered shield before heading out.

* * *

><p>As I rejoin the others, Aedan comes forward, expression anxious. "Well?" he demands.<p>

I drop the shield on the ground for them all to see. His face falls, but I start laughing. "They're dead!"

Alistair looks confused. "What? Who's dead?"

"Howe's entire garrison!" I kick the shield and it goes flying into the hills. "All of the bastards are dead!" I run a hand down my face, still shaking from the laughter. "Fergus and the men aren't far ahead of the outpost. Maybe an hour, but they'd have stopped because it's getting close to nightfall."

"We could reach them by midnight," Aedan whispers, eyes wide.

"We just need to move," Alistair says.

"And fast," I add.

Aedan starts laughing hysterically. I raise an eyebrow, surprised, but then I start laughing, too, and so do Alistair and Leliana. Morrigan and Sten just stare at us. Bodahn and Sandal have kept moving and are now watching the six of us.

"Tis a curious thing," Morrigan says. "I was not aware we had a mental breakdown."

"We didn't," Aedan says between his laughs.

"We were just born like that," I say, smirking at my brother. He grins, nodding. "Come on. Let's go."


	11. The Army

The sounds of a camp hit my ears long before the camp is actually visible. But just the thought of seeing Fergus alive and well puts a skip in my step and keeps me walking. I see it have a similar effect on Aedan.

"Halt!" a voice demands. "You approach the camp of Teyrn Cousland. State your business or we fire."

"We must speak with the teyrn," Aedan says stiffly, grunting as he slides his shield off his back. "We have something for him."

"And what might that be?" the unseen guard snaps.

I freeze, stopping myself from opening my mouth. I get that nagging feeling and my back stiffens. Aedan stops in the middle of his response.

"Darkspawn!" I shout, drawing an arrow.

"Left!" Alistair yells. He draws his weapons, turning to face the indicated direction. Our entire party shifts to match, stepping between them and the dwarves. Someone, a guard I assume, screams. My blood turns to ice.

"Here they come!" Aedan exclaims, covering himself with his shield.

For a moment, everything is silent. I glance at Alistair, but his face is blank and he's staring forward. Aedan looks the same.

A hurlock bursts into view, roaring. My eyes widen and I launch my arrow into its face. The sound cuts off abruptly as it crumples. Black blood pools under its head. Several seconds later, a large group follows their dead friend. I have a shot off at the alpha charging at the head of the pack. The arrow bounces off its helmet harmlessly, but that makes it pause, and by the time it recovers, the guys are already there, killing it and the small band trying to protect it.

"They shouldn't be this far ahead of the horde!" Alistair says.

"Worry about that later!" Aedan retorts.

"Where the hell did the guards go?!" I shout, whipping around beneath an arrow. I spot the archer and have an arrow sticking out of its chest the same instant.

"Good question!"

I turn into a hurlock and my eyes go wide. It snarls, raising its sword above its head. As the blade falls, I smack it aside with my wrist. The hurlock whips and kicks me in the chest. I stagger and it rams me with its shoulder, throwing me to the ground.

"Shit!"

I kick at its knee and roll to my feet just as the black sword hits the ground. The hurlock recovers surprisingly fast. It sweeps the weapon out at me, but I jump back, hitting the cart. My head snaps back against the wood. I wince, blinking, as my vision swims. I try to get it to focus, but I need time to recover, time I don't have.

"Watch out!" Alistair comes out of nowhere, dealing with the hurlock faster than I thought one could move in splintmail. I shake my head as he pulls me out of the fighting. "Dear Maker, Elissa! You're bleeding!"

"I...what?" I ask, still feeling as if I just got my head cut off.

"Your side is bleeding!" Alistair exclaims.

I laugh weakly. "Bullshit."

"Damn it, woman! Just drink this!" he says, shoving a potion into my hands. "And be careful!" With that, he turns and rejoins the fighting, running his sword through a darkspawn's chest faster than I can blink.

I look down, holding my side. For a second, I think Alistair is just being fussy, but then I feel a twinge of pain. I don't even wait for my adrenaline to fade; I gulp down the nasty liquid and follow him. Alistair allows himself to get surrounded by several, and without thinking, I charge at the closest hurlock, dropkick it, and roll when I hit the ground, firing a set of arrows faster than I thought I could. Alistair doesn't even pause; he whips around, slicing through a hurlock and catching a blow on his shield all at once.

Aedan cries out in pain from the front of the cart. I freeze, eyes going wide in shock.

"Aedan!"

I jump to my feet and don't hesitate when I get close to the wagon. I leap into the back and jump out the other end, firing an arrow into the neck of the darkspawn standing over him. I roll when I hit the ground, scrambling around to help my brother. Alistair fights his way to my side, defending me while I search Aedan for his injury. I find a stab wound under his arm. Cursing, I dig out a lyrium potion Morrigan was crafting the other night.

I've been drinking a lot of these things the past month. Blech.

I down the liquid quickly, putting a hand over Aedan's wound. My hand glows with blue healing energy and I smell the flesh knit itself back together. It's...it's not a good smell.

"Elissa, watch out!" I'm not exactly sure who says that, but I look over my shoulder just in time to see a massive hammer fall.

* * *

><p>You know, hammers don't feel great on a head. Especially your own. Damn, that hurts! Fucking darkspawn. I'm starting to enjoy being a Grey Warden. It's my job to kill the bastards.<p>

What more could I ask for?

_Howe's head, _I think bitterly.

"You up?" a familiar voice asks. A deep, smooth one. It reminds me of father. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes.

"Headache," I grumble, keeping my eyes shut.

The man laughs. "Easy, little sister. Aedan and the other Warden are worried about you." My eyes snap open and I bolt upright despite the protest my head sings.

A man in heavy steel chainmail stands before me. His dark brown hair is slightly messy and his eyes are sort of distant, but he still has that smirk on his face; the one he always wears, no matter how he feels. It even makes me smile.

"Fergus!" I exclaim, jumping to my feet from the cot I was on.

"Elissa!" he says, matching my enthusiasm. I huff and roll my eyes at him, but my smile never wavers. "Since when did you have brown hair?"

I frown as I walk up to my brother. I raise an eyebrow. "I don't."

"Really?" Fergus teases, ruffling my hair. "I thought it was blond!"

"It _is _blond!" I snap, pushing his shoulder. He laughs, something telling me that he doesn't know, or somehow moved past it already. I pull him into a hug instantly, choking on a sob. "I thought...I thought we lost you, too."

He hugs me back, suddenly quiet. "I thought I lost you two." He lets go of me. "But turns out, the Warden recruited you after all."

"Only because father begged him to save us."

"Well, at least some of us are still here."

I sigh, looking up at him. He's wearing a blank expression, but I can still see all the hurt and loss in his eyes. "Fergus, I-"

"No, sister, I'm fine."

I hesitate, but nod, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Well, then let's get back to Aedan and Alistair. It's not fair to leave them alone like this." Fergus nods, gesturing at my bow and armor, all of which have been repaired. He steps out of the tent while I change into clean clothes from my pack-my only set-and put my armor on over top of it. It's been cleaned, all blood and dirt removed. My bow has been strung with a brand-new string. I go to pull it over my shoulder when I see something under my thumb. I move and see a laurel carved into the grip. I smile somehow, glad to see someone's still proud of my family and Highever.

I walk outside and my headache immediately worsens. Hammers strike steel as blacksmiths work metals and people shout at each other as they run past. We've moved out into the flatlands approaching the castle and town; I can see smoke from the latter off in the distance. Howe's men will definitely know we're coming.

"Ready, sister?" Fergus asks. I nod, swallowing deeply as I follow him through the encampment. A few soldiers stop and salute Fergus, but when he moves aside, their eyes go wide at the very sight of me. One man, Ser Olson, grins wickedly at me as he salutes. I return the gesture, happy to see my friend alive. I put a hand on his shoulder as we pass him and he falls into step behind us, encouraging more of the knights and soldiers to do the same. Fergus shoots me a goofy look, but I shrug, and he doesn't dismiss them.

It's a rather short walk to the command tent. My companions are sitting around underneath the overhang, drinking and eating. Alistair is the only one facing Fergus and I-naturally-and he gets up the instant he sees me. He's smiling that damn smile that makes me smile, pulls at my heartstrings, and makes me believe everything's going to work out.

At Alistair's movement, the others stir. Aedan breaks out in a huge grin, grabbing me in a bear hug the instant I'm within reach. Fergus chuckles while I wriggle my way out of his grasp. He spins us around and releases me. I stumble as I shoot him a dirty look, but the next thing I know is there are hands holding me up. Two hands with splintmail gloves.

"I need to talk to you later," Alistair whispers in my ear. "After supper in an hour or so, okay?" I nod slowly so only he can see. "Good." Then he lets me go. I roll my shoulders, glaring at Aedan, but he just gives me a knowing smirk. I backhand his chest when I'm close enough.

"You're okay?" Leliana asks, eyebrows up.

"Yeah, thanks, Leliana."

She smiles and returns to her chair. Alistair pulls one up for me and puts it beside him. I smile gratefully at him.

"Down to business," Fergus says as he sits. Alistair hands me what food he has left and a waterskin, both of which I can't even begin to thank him for. I pick at the food after downing almost all of the water. "We're within marching distance of the Cousland Castle and the surrounding town. I'm sure Howe's men have spotted us by now, but they've done nothing."

"We need to get inside at nightfall," Aedan says, shrugging as he leans back.

"Aedan and I know a secret way in," I say. "Getting to the portcullis and then the gate should be no problem for us if we take our friends."

"I am no friend of yours, Elissa," Morrigan says stiffly.

"Okay," I say, rolling my eyes. "We can take our friends, plus Bitch Witch over here." She chuckles, nodding. "Better?"

"Very."

Fergus is looking at Aedan. They're both sharing a concerned look. "I'm not sure if you are up for it yet, sister," Fergus says carefully. "You've only just got up from a hit you took three days ago."

"I can and will go, Fergus," I say. "Unless you have your signet ring still?" I look at my brothers, snorting. "Thought not." I pull mine out of my pack, careful to not disconnect it from my quiver. I roll it around in my hand before holding it up to them. "I am the only person here with one of these. I'm going. Whether you like it or not."

"Fine," Fergus says, sighing. "We attack under cover of darkness. You six will get inside through the passage Aedan and Elissa know of. Open the portcullis for us and my men will handle busting through the gates. Good enough?" I nod.

"Long as Wolf stays to watch your back, brother," I say, looking over at the sleeping warhound. At the sound of his name, he wakes, looking around sleepily. He gives me a weak and tired 'woof' as a greeting, and I smile.

"It's a deal, then."


	12. Mother's Amulet

_I realize how weird or cliché or whatever you wanna call it, that this scene between Alistair and Elissa is, but although I love the rose, I'm trying to keep Elissa as far from frilly and girly as possible, and this seemed more appropriate, especially with what I have planned with upcoming chapters. Hope you guys like it and don't wanna hit me after reading! *runs for cover*_

By the time supper rolls around, Aedan, Alistair, and me are starving. Alistair blames 'Grey Warden appetite' and then technically calls me fat, much to Fergus' amusement. I don't really care, but it's too much fun to pass up a chance to make him blush. He seemed uncomfortable with all of it though. He didn't really talk to Fergus unless Fergus talked to him. Maybe...? I don't know. I'll ask him when he shows up.

Until then, might as well get something done.

I grab my bow and head to the archery range, nodding at soldiers as I go. I hear some cheering once I get closer. Upon my arrival, I see a crowd of men and women gathered around two men sparring. One is Aedan; that's obvious from the shield. The other seems to be a normal man, maybe a private, or perhaps a sergeant. Either way, by the time I make it to the crowd, Aedan has bested the man and is helping him to his feet.

"Hello there!" Aedan says brightly as I push my way to the front of the masses. He jerks his head. "Walk with me, will you Elissa?"

"Sure," I say, following him out. He walks downrange, stopping at one of the abandoned targets. No one is out here though. Most of the soldiers are catching some sleep before we attack tonight. Fergus has decided we won't go until midnight, when the guards are getting ready to switch shifts.

"Can I talk to you about Alistair?" Aedan asks, back to me.

"Uh...yeah," I say, confused. "Is something wrong with him?"

"No," he says. "I was just wondering what you thought you were doing with him."

"What?!" I exclaim. "Did you really just ask me that?" He nods. "Why? Do you think I'm going to hurt him or lead him on?"

"No," he says quickly. "I'm saying he might hurt you. He's a former templar, Elissa. He used to hunt people like you for a living."

"I don't know why you haven't talked to him about it yet, but he never took his vows. He never killed a mage," I say. "And don't think you have the right to tell me who I can and who I can't get involved with! If you can, I'm going to start telling you what I think of your relationship with Leliana!"

"I'm just looking out for you!" Aedan snaps. "I don't want you to get hurt!"

"Alistair isn't some suspicious bard we found in Lothering!"

"Leave her out of this, Elissa," Aedan warns. Before I can respond, he turns on his heel and stalks off, smacking Alistair with his shoulder as he passes. Alistair looks confused as I go to his side.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Nothing," I say. "So what did you want, Alistair?"

He hesitates before beckoning me to follow him. I hesitate before I do, allowing him to lead me out of the camp. We pass few people I know, and when we pass the last round of guards, I'm shown into a separate camp a few hundred feet out. Our companions are here, but Aedan is not. He's probably off venting to Fergus and trying to get the man to side with him.

Alistair says nothing as he goes into a tent I can only assume to be his. My eyes go wide and I take a step back, confused. I vaguely hear Leliana and Morrigan laugh, but I don't exactly register it. Alistair seriously isn't...? I'm not...I don't-

I sigh, inhaling deeply, and go into his tent. He's sitting up, waiting for me, eyebrows raised.

"What?" Alistair asks.

I shake my head. "Nothing. Uh...why am I in your tent?"

He shrugs, looking away. A crimson blush spreads over his cheeks and neck, making me giggle. He huffs, smirking despite his obvious embarrassment. "Just...sit. Over here." He pats the space next to him, so I pull my quiver off and set it and my bow down by the entrance, trying my best to not seem nervous. I don't know why he wants me in his tent, let alone to sit beside him. The tent is small and that puts me right against him, so close that our shoulders are touching.

"I uh..." Alistair stammers for words. He fumbles with his hands, seemingly as nervous as I am, just not as good hiding it. He sighs, running a hand through his hair and looking away as he reaches back for his pack. He pushes his armor away from it and pulls it into his lap, not looking at me once. "I...fixed this." Alistair turns back to me, holding something in his hand. I see a silver chain hanging out of the side and my eyes widen. "I had Morrigan get rid of the glue. It ruined the idea." He opens his hand up to reveal my mother's amulet. "I figured you'd want something to remember your family. I know how it feels to lose something like this to something you could've prevented."

I take it from him, holding the necklace with a lighter touch than ever before. "I...I don't know what to say. What happened to it?"

"You must've fell back on it after the hurlock hit you. I'm not sure," he says, fidgeting. "Either way-"

"You braved Morrigan for me," I whisper, laughing. "Now _that's _what counts." Alistair chuckles, nodding.

"You're my friend, Elissa," he says, shrugging. "It was nothing, really."

I tighten my hand around it before tucking it away in my pack. Don't want to lose that.

"It means more than you think," I say, staring at my hands. "I...I lost everything when Howe attacked us. My parents, my sister-in-law, my nephew, my friends...everyone and everything I ever loved. Just...gone. Never to be seen or heard from again." I inhale deeply.

"You still have Aedan and Fergus," Alistair says, grabbing and squeezing my hand comfortingly. "And Wolf."

"And you lost Duncan," I say. "And all the Wardens, only to be stuck with Aedan and I."

Alistair snorts, tracing his thumb over the back of my hand. "I'm past that now. There's nothing I can do to change it no matter what I want." He bumps my armored shoulder with his bare one. "But hey, Aedan's a good friend, usually."

"Is that so? Then what does that make me?" His face goes red. I smirk, wrapping my fingers around his. "Alistair, you don't need to try so hard or be so nervous."

"Oh, what a relief," he says, rolling his eyes. I laugh and that draws a chuckle from him. "I just...I've never done anything like this with anyone. I'm not sure what I'm even supposed to do."

I smile, but his blush only spreads to his ears. "I like you, Alistair. Not because you act like someone you're not. You don't look at me like I'm a thing that needs protecting." I put my forehead on his shoulder, hiding a blush of my own. "I like you for you. All the humor and bad jokes and the blushing and the awkwardness."

"Thanks," he says, chuckling.

"What? I do," I say. "You're sweet and kind. Protective but not overbearing. Adorably awkward." I look up at him. "Has anyone ever told you that you were handsome?"

"Well, there was this one time in Denerim, but those women were...not like you."

"Not like me?"

"Beautiful, ravishing, and all those other things you'd hurt me for not saying," Alistair says, smirking.

"I wouldn't hurt you," I say.

"Nor I you," he says. "But you were saying?"

"Nope, not telling you now," I say, giggling. "Besides, you know you are."

"Still doesn't hurt to have a beautiful woman say it," he muses. "Beats being run through with a sword any day!"

"Hmm, good point," I say. "Even I'd take that, and I don't like women that way."

He laughs and I do too, scooting closer to him until I can put my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his chest.

It's nice to pretend that this isn't happening and I'm somewhere else.


	13. Breaking Into The Castle

_So excited for you guys to read this chapter. I know, I know, but why not? I always figured they'd want someone left alive to get information out of, and who's better for that than this person? I promise to explain better at the end of the chapter! Yeah, two A.N.s instead of none! I'm a talkative person today. ;)_

I slide to a stop a few hundred feet from the town, eyes narrowed on the guards patrolling the streets. Leliana is just as still as I am.

"Think we can do this?" I whisper.

"Of course."

"Then let's go."

I shift and get up, running as quickly as I can. I aim for the barn just outside of the town. Less guards. It's not a long run, but by the time I get there, my lungs ache and my legs burn. I take only a few seconds to recover, leaning on the far wall and panting. Leliana joins me as I straighten, a look of concern etched on her features. I wave a hand to show I'm fine before I spin around into the street.

"So what exactly are we doing?" Leliana asks.

I look over at the red-haired bard, grinning. "We give Howe what he wants." Her blue eyes go wide as she processes what I just said. I look down both ends of the street, waiting. Any second now...

A patrol turns from the right side. Torches held high, their colors aren't hard to miss. My head whips to the other end just in time to see another patrol coming. Perfect.

"Follow my lead," I tell her. "Hey! Over here!"

The guards stop talking, looking for me. "You there! It's past curfew! Get inside!"

"Fuck off!" I shout. Leliana gives me a look like I'm crazy. I probably am, but this is the only way to get to the passage. Both guards start running toward us. "Come on!" I turn and bolt down a side street, jumping past rats and sleeping beggars. I fight back the grimace threatening to surface. If my father were here...

"Elissa!" Leliana shouts. I snap back to attention just as I slam into a guard. We fall into the plaza in a tangle of limbs. I kick him off me, scrambling back.

"Elissa?" he asks, eyes going wide.

Leliana pulls me to my feet. "Come on!" I look up at her and back down at the guard. His face registers instantly, and so does the patch on his shoulder.

Thomas. He's in charge of Highever.

I turn and race after Leliana. She lets me take the lead, but I lead us to a dead end, and guards appear behind us, trapping us in.

"It's the Cousland wench," one of them spits as someone walks up.

"I know," Thomas says, shaking his head at the sight of me. "Not so bright, are you?"

I shrug. "Or maybe this is part of my plan."

The Howe boy laughs, shaking his head. "Arrest them both. Put them in the dungeons."

* * *

><p>My weapons and armor are confiscated before I am thrown into a cell across from Leliana. The stone floor is cold under my bare feet. These clothes are not warm at all.<p>

"Is this part of some brilliant plan I am not aware of?" Leliana asks.

"Yep," I reply, getting to my feet. "But now we wait." I move over to the small blanket in the corner, wrapping it around my toes. I face the cell door as I draw my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. Leaning my head back against the wall, I let my eyes close. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep.

* * *

><p>I see a huge black dragon. Massive. As big as the castle courtyard. It flies over to a rocky perch and leans down the canyon, roaring at the army below. Purple fire spits from its mouth before it takes off again, flying deeper into the unknown.<p>

_I know you are there, Warden._

* * *

><p>I jump, starting awake. My head whips around in search of the voice, but I see nothing. Just darkness. Leliana is tossing a pebble at the wall in her cell, sitting cross-legged against the opposite.<p>

"How long has it been?" I ask quietly.

"An hour or so," she replies, looking up at the small window in her cell. "The guards are talking about taking you to the man."

"Thomas?" I whisper.

"Yes," she says softly. "Did you plan for this to happen?"

"Yeah," I say. "It's the only way to get to the passage."

"Ah." She resumes tossing the pebble, catching it as it bounces back. "They were talking about a knight as well. He's out in the torture chamber, they say. He's been silent for some time now, but just after you fell asleep, he was screaming."

I shudder, thoughts drifting off to my best friend. Not Ser Gilmore.

I play with the hem of my linen shirt, bored, as I wait.

"They want to kill you, Elissa."

"They can certainly try," I answer. I hear talking upstairs. They're at the door. I hear the keys jingling. The door creaks and slams once it hits the wall. I get to my feet, yawning. "Show time."

Our cells are the first in each row, so the walk to mine isn't far. They unlock the door, snapping at me to get moving. I just laugh and shake my head. Both guards seem pissed with that response and storm in after me. I drop into a crouch, hands out, as one reaches forward. I pivot, slamming one hand into his chest and the other into the small of his back. Snatching the keys from his belt as he stumbles in a daze, I start to the second guard. He swings a gauntleted fist at me, but I duck and step around behind him. My foot connects with his back, throwing him forward.

I slam the cell door shut and lock it before they can recover. Leliana is staring at me, eyes wide. I open her cell, smirking. "See? Part of the plan." She returns the grin, joining me in the hallway. "Go find our stuff. I'll be up after making sure no one else is down here." She nods, turning to run up the steps. I pull a torch out of its bracket before starting off down the hall, ignoring the swearing coming at me from the guards I locked up. I check each cell and each body if there's a person inside. I recognize some of the servants, and few of them are alive. The ones that are look so confused to see me, of all people, breaking them out of their cells. But they get up and follow me quietly.

"Come on you dogs! I'm ready for whatever you throw at me!" a voice shouts as we approach the next block of cells. My eyes widen and I practically run to the man's cell. I drop my torch in a rush to unlock it. "Who's that? Get away!"

"Ced! Ced, it's me! It's Elissa!" I exclaim, opening the barred door. "You're free."

"Elissa?" he asks, confused. "They...they told us you'd all been killed!"

I snort, smirking, as I help the guard-captain to his feet. "You think I'm going to be bested by one of Howe's men?"

"Who knows? You could've been outnumbered," Ced says, groaning as he stands. He looks at me, frowning. "You seem different."

"I'm a Grey Warden," I say quietly.

His eyes widen and it looks like he remembers something. "Dear Maker. Come with me, now!" He dashes out of the cell, scooping up the torch as he goes. "Come on! It's important!" I sigh, racing after him. The servants I'd freed stay put, whispering excitedly to each other.

"Ced?" I call. "Where are we going?"

He stops in front of the last cell. "Here. Hurry!"

"Who's in here that's so important?" I ask, panting. I slow to a walk in this row, feet burning. He ignores my question, beckoning urgently for me to unlock the cell door. He steps aside as I search the key ring for the third cell block. Once I find it, I shove the thing in the lock, twisting it open. "Happy?"

"Look who it is!" Ced demands.

I turn, but the instant my eyes lock on the prone form, my heart breaks. "Mother!" I run to her side, dropping to my knees.

"Who-who's there?" she asks weakly.

"Oh dear Maker! You're bleeding!" I turn back to Ced, saying, "My friend is upstairs. Bring her here with my equipment! Now!" He nods, rushing off.

"Elissa?"

"Yes, mother, it's me," I say. "Shh. I'll help as soon as I can."

Her hair isn't grey anymore. It's so dirty it's black, and the tips are stained red from her blood. Her clothes are little more than rags and they're just as dirty as her hair. Her arms are bruised and scarred and cut. I get the feeling no one cared to check on her while she was down here.

"You...you need to get out," she says, voice hoarse. "Howe-"

"No, I survived the standing," I whisper. "So did Aedan and Fergus. We're fine."

Her eyes, once so lively when she scolded my brothers and I, now go blank and zone out. If it wasn't for the steady rise and fall of her chest, I'd think she was dead.

Feet pound down the hall toward us. I glance back to see Leliana and Ced standing in the doorway. Leliana gives me my pack, leaving Ced with my armor and weapons. I rummage around inside of it until I find a poultice and a potion. I hand the former to Leliana, saying, "Apply that on her thigh." She nods, going to work, while I pop the cork off the red healing potion. "Mother, you need to drink this, okay? Please? Can you do that?"

"Hmm?" she asks.

"I need you to drink this so we can get you out of here," I say, putting the flask to her lips. She manages to sit up as Leliana smears the green paste over a fresh wound on her leg. "Easy does it. Come on." After I get the potion down her throat, I get up and get back into my armor, cpulling my quiver over my shoulder and my pack over my waist. I sling my bow back and help my mother to her feet. "We need to find you some shoes."

"And food," Leliana says.

I look at Ced, standing guard out in the hallway. "Take my mother and anyone else up to the post. Leliana and I will make sure none of Howe's men get to you."

"Yes, ma'am," Ced says. I hand him the keys as he takes my mother's arm around his shoulder.

"Listen, all of you!" I say. The servants and Cousland guards must've followed Leliana and Ced down. "Fergus is bringing the men back and we're retaking the castle tonight. You need to follow Ced's orders and stay hidden until I come find you, all right? You survived a massacre and now I need you to survive another. If you can do that, I promise all of you a good meal and a bed to sleep in." I get nods and agreements from all of them. "All right, good. Ced, you're in charge."

As I start forward, the guards step too. "In all fairness, we all lost friends and family to Howe's men. We're not letting you go without us."

"You're unarmed," I say.

"There's an armory," the guard says, grinning. "And last I checked, it's right across the way from the door upstairs."

"Yes it is," another says.

I nod, smirking. "Well then we'd best get to it. They're going to be waiting for us."

"Aye, my lady," their leader says. "Come on, boys. Let's move!"

I push my way through the crowd to the front, Leliana on my heels. We jog down the hall, past the two guards I locked in my cell, and up the stairs into the torture chamber. The floor is covered in blood and it reeks. A few people are moving around, but none of them are Howe's men. In fact-

"Ser Gilmore!" I exclaim.

He turns, grinning, as he tosses the flask of a health potion aside. "Evening, my lady. Where are you off to, might I ask?"

"To kick these bastards out of my house."

He grabs the sword of a dead guard, testing its weight. "Mind if I join you?"

"The more the merrier!" He nods, falling into step with Leliana and I. "Okay, we need to let Aedan and the others inside before opening the portcullis. Rory, take the guards to the armory and meet us back here in ten minutes. Ready?" He nods again, flexing his grip on his sword. "Let's go."

I ease the door open, checking to make sure the small walkway is clear before ushering the others out and across. The guards move at a jog, bursting through the door quickly. I make sure it's deserted in there before waving Leliana after me. She nods, drawing her bow, and I lead her up the small rise. To the right is the main hall and the small chapel Mother Mallol was in charge of. To the right is the library and the rest of the castle. I run left, sticking in the shadows.

"We're running late," Leliana says. "Fergus and Highever's men will be in the town by now."

"Which is why we need to get moving," I say, standing. "To hell with it. I don't care if we are seen. If we don't get the gates open, the men will be slaughtered."

"Then go," she says. "I'll clear the guard house out and you let them in. I'll meet you there."

I hesitate before nodding. "Okay. I'll show you where it is." She nods, too, falling into step behind me. I put my back up on the wall, creeping down a ramp. The door to the main hall is wide open, and I hear laughter coming from within.

"That's my boy!"

My eyes widen and I stand. Howe. Howe is here. He's eating with Thomas. I start forward, but Leliana grabs my shoulder and pulls me back, directing me back the way we were going.

"Deal with him later," she whispers.

"That's Howe!" I hiss, angered.

"I understand that, but you need to keep moving, Elissa. You said it yourself, if you leave the gates closed, Fergus and his men will be slaughtered."

Growling, I nod. "Fine. I'll leave him."

"Good. Now get moving." I turn away from the main hall slowly, eyes blazing, and lead Leliana away. I point left.

"That's the courtyard. Both guard houses have a way to get at the portcullis."

She nods. "See you soon."

_So what did you think? Did I surprise you? Probably not xD. Yeah, and I brought back TWO instead of one! I'm so awesome like that :P. It would be awesomer (is that a word?) if you guys would review! I'd be a happy camper!_

_And I know, she was supposed to die, along with our knight-friend. But I always assumed Howe would keep her for a little while just so he could get Cousland secrets outta her, and considering how bad ass of a mother she is, I also assumed she'd be able to tough it out for a bit. Since it was only a month or so between the standing, I left her alive. I left Rory alive because I like him. Duh :P. _

_So leave a review please? _


	14. The Possession

I kick a guard back before shoving an arrow up under his jaw. Blood pours onto my gauntlet, but I keep going forward, putting the arrow away as I produce my signet ring. I didn't think there would be guards here, but I was wrong, and now they're dead. If I'm lucky, Howe won't be able to escape and he'll be dead by noon tomorrow.

I can't believe my mother is still here, still alive. That's the best surprise I've ever gotten in my short twenty-two years of existence.

Uncovering the small laurel symbol on the wall, I put my ring inside and turn it. The section of wall falls into the ground, revealing a very annoyed Aedan in its place. He steps inside, frowning.

"Should've saved some for me," he grumbles.

"Howe's in the main hall with Thomas, actually," I say, smiling at Alistair.

"What?!" Aedan exclaims. "Why didn't you kill him?"

"I figured mother would want that honor," I say brightly, walking past and out of the passage. I flip the trapdoor up and climb into the castle, helping Alistair up. Aedan follows, Morrigan and Sten on his heels.

"Where's Leliana?" Aedan asks absentmindedly.

"The guard house. She's waiting for us there," I say. "Ser Gilmore and some guards are at the armory."

"I'll help her," Aedan says, running ahead. "You go do whatever you were."

I nod, shifting my quiver before following after him. Instead of going straight though, I take the others left, past the main hall. By now, you can hear alarm bells going off in the town. A grin plasters itself to my face as I sprint up the path and past the now barricaded main hall. Howe's guards pour down the path toward us, but Sten rushes ahead and cuts a way through. I force my way down to the armory, where Ser Gilmore and the men are waiting.

"There you are!" he exclaims.

"Let's go!" I order, going back out the door. He and his guards follow, now fully armed and armored from the treasury. They broke the door down to get to the stuff that wasn't painted in Howe's colors.

"Elissa! They're moving to the courtyard!" Alistair yells as he blocks a blow from a guard.

"We need to get to Aedan and Leliana!" I say. "Come on!"

Ser Gilmore rallies his guards and pushes through Howe's poorly trained men, allowing the rest of us to get out of the narrow path. They push them back towards the library and we run in the opposite direction, toward the courtyard. Few of Howe's men are here, but those that are find one of my arrows in their necks.

At the courtyard, I see archers forming up. Without even thinking, I pull my bow over my shoulder, a spell already starting. The next thing I know, three of the archers are screaming as they're cooked in their armor.

"We need to open the gates!" Alistair says urgently, pulling me away. "Come on."

I look between the archers and him before nodding and racing after him. Morrigan and Sten are already inside, waiting for us. Alistair kicks the door shut, nodding at them. Morrigan huffs and Sten remains silent.

I sprint up the steps into the gatehouse, throwing my weight against the wheel. Leliana and Aedan are already there, pushing at the wheel.

"Alistair! Get on that one!" I say as he comes up the steps with the other two. I point at it for emphasis. He jogs over, throwing down his weapons to move it. Sten joins him, leaving Morrigan to watch out for intruders.

I shove my hands up and reach down for the next spike, pulling it up and throwing it around again.

"What's happening?" I shout. Morrigan looks over to the outside of the castle.

"The army is approaching."

"Faster!" Aedan and I say in unison.

"We're going as fast as we can!" Alistair responds.

I spin the wheel with Aedan and Leliana one more time before turning. "Keep going! I have an idea!"

"Hurry up, sis!" Aedan says, grunting.

I find a coil of rope beside the weight for the portcullis. Replacement equipment. I take it back to the wheel Aedan and Leliana are on, tying it to one of the spikes. I tie the other end around my wrist with Morrigan's help before I step away, looking at the weight and its rope. I rub my hands together, breathing deeply.

"You better hope that doesn't rip your arm off," Aedan says.

"Already am," I reply. "Here it goes."

I take off at a run, leaping over a gap to the rope. I sink several inches immediately. The rope pulls taught and the wheel moves faster. I groan, squeezing my eyes shut in pain. It feels like my shoulder is being ripped out of its socket. Twisting my wrist to grab the rope with my free hand, I yank on it, dropping an entire foot with the weight.

"It's working!" I yell up at them.

"We know!" Aedan responds. "Good work!"

"Just get me down already!"

I look down. About ten more feet until the gate is completely open. About ten more feet of agony. I grit my teeth, giving another tug on the rope. I sink another few inches, a steady drop.

"Oh shit!" Aedan exclaims. "Elissa!" I look up just as a sword cuts the rope of the weight free. It falls from under my feet, and suddenly, I'm jerked up several feet. My shoulder rips free of its socket and I scream, slammed forward. "Damn it!"

I see stars as a blinding pain creeps its way up my arm to my fingers.

"Elissa you have to stay there or this thing won't open!" Alistair yells.

Despite the burning in my arm, I scramble up with my feet, grabbing the rope with my dislocated arm and my other, hanging almost completely off my left.

"Hurry!" Morrigan says. "The archers are firing."

"Alistair! Get on that rope!" Aedan orders.

"On it!" he says. I hear him run at the weight's rope and jump on it. I fall a few inches just as he does. "How you holding up down there?"

"I've seen better days!" I say, groaning as I fall farther down.

"Give me your hand," he says, reaching. He's not that far up. "Come on. It'll make it easier."

I reach, but our fingertips barely touch, and I'm jerked again. I scream, losing my grip on the rope. As my shoulder snaps straight, another scream comes from my throat. I'm hanging completely by skin, and it feels like its tearing. Dear Maker, my arm is coming off. I start to panic, kicking at the wall to push my body up to my arm, but I can't get myself higher. Fear grips me. No, no, no, no!

"Shh! I got you," Alistair says, grabbing my rope. He hauls me up to his side with one hand. The pain in my arm lessens immensely as he pulls me against his chest. I wrap my free arm around him, shaking. "I got you. You're all right, I promise. Shh."

I start crying, relieved beyond belief. I thought my arm was going to be ripped off. "Thank the Maker for you, Alistair." He wraps his arm around my waist, holding me against him.

"Not much farther, Elissa. I promise," he says gently. "You can do this."

I nod numbly, unable to think straight. I feel blood pouring down my arm. The skin must've split enough there that I'm bleeding. All I can do is focus on not screaming as we descend. Alistair's grip on me is firm and I don't fear falling again.

"Tie the rope to the weight and meet us outside!" Aedan yells down at us.

"Got it!" Alistair replies. "Okay, Elissa. I have to let go of you, but I promise I won't let you get hurt again. Just hold on to the rope from behind me and don't let go."

I nod again. He pushes an extra length into my hand before taking the end that was cut and tying it to the weight. Then he takes his dagger and cuts me free. I sag to the ground gratefully, panting and bleeding.

"I'm going to take your shoulder guard off, okay? Morrigan will be down soon and she'll heal you," Alistair says. My head doesn't respond to my inward order to nod. It just rolls to the side. Alistair doesn't seem to care for my lack of a response; he just pulls the scale armor away, tossing it aside. He reaches into his pack and forces a healing potion down my throat. The pain vanishes almost immediately as my shoulder skin reconnects with my collarbone's skin. Alistair frowns, running a hand over what skin is visible. "There's a bruise here..." He taps on my covered collarbone experimentally and my eyes snap wide as I fidget under his fingers, groaning in pain. "You must've hit the wall pretty hard. It's broken."

"Alistair, it hurts," I say. He wraps his hand around mine, squeezing it comfortingly. "It hurts to breathe."

"I'll go find Morrigan," he says, letting go of my hand.

"No!" I say, snatching him. "Please. Don't leave me alone."

He sighs, shaking his head. "You need help. I wouldn't, but you need it, and I'm sorry." He gets to his feet, grunting. "I'll come back. I promise." Alistair turns and goes out the door, leaving it open. I see him go upstairs for his weapons. But then he's gone, and I'm scared. Each of my breaths comes in ragged gasps. A stabbing pain hits my chest with all of them. I try sitting up better, but my arm is numb and my other doesn't cooperate because I have no shoulder to use. I just lay with my head up against it, hoping Alistair comes back soon.

Some of Howe's guards run by. A large group of them. They run the way the door opens, and thankfully, none of them look inside.

At least, until the last man comes past. He steps up to the door, opening it completely with the tip of his blade. He comes inside, scanning the small room. I'm just barely concealed behind the weight. The guard comes closer, but doesn't look down. Not until he sees my boot.

"You there!" he says. "Come out!" I don't move and he steps around the weight, laughing when he sees me. "Oh, the Cousland girl. I remember you. Killed my brother when we took the castle." He points his sword at me. "Well, now I'm going to kill you." My eyes go wide and I reach for my bow, but it's just out of my reach. Not more than an inch.

"Hey!" Alistair slams his shield into the man's back, throwing him forward. He lands on my chest, but Alistair hauls him off by the back of his chest plate. He throws him into the wall and Morrigan, who is in the doorway, freezes him solid. Alistair's sword is through his stomach the same second.

"Move you fool," Morrigan snarls, pushing past him. She crouches beside me, hands glowing with healing magic. "Next time you plan on taking tips from Alistair, make sure it's on hair. I don't have time for this."

"Oh, shut up," Alistair says. "Join us when you can. Fergus' men broke through the first line of defenders and I'm sure we'll need help once we get farther in."

* * *

><p>Aedan gives me a hand up before whipping around and driving his sword through the nearest Amaranthine soldier. I focus on any archers I can pick off, ignoring the pain in my collarbone and shoulder with each shot.<p>

"We need to find Thomas!" I say to him.

"Father's office!" Aedan replies. "Come on!" He slams his shield into the guard he's fighting and runs off, deeper into the castle.

"Aedan!" I shout. A sword comes at me and I duck, driving my arrow up under his breastplate before racing after my twin. I take more liberties with the acrobatics training I've had than I probably should. I'm going to get caught one of these days. "Aedan!"

"This way!" he yells. I jump over a thing of barrels, sliding across into the back of a guard. I roll off him before he can recover and bolt, coming out of the thick of the fighting. A knight is dueling one of our foot soldiers; he looks bloodied and just about beaten until I come closer, drawing an arrow just before his sword descends on my ally.

"Hey!" I shout. When he looks up, my arrow slams into his neck. He falls over with a flourish as I go over to the downed guard and look him over. His eyes drift shut, but I shake his shoulder. "Hey! Hey! No, come on, open your eyes. I'll help you." I jostle his shoulder roughly and his eyes snap open. "There you go. Good. Now tell me where you're hurt."

"Here," he says, groaning. He moves his hand from his side, revealing a nasty-looking gash that ripped him and his armor wide open.

I rummage around in my pack quickly and give him a potion. That shouldn't require magic. I got here fast enough that the potion should be enough. "Drink that and try not to leave your side open, got it?"

"Yes, my lady."

"Excellent," I reply, getting to my feet. I step around him and continue on my way to father's office, hoping beyond hope that Howe will be there. I know he's going to be long gone, but Thomas will be here still, and that boy is going to pay for all the people he hurt. "Aedan! Where are you?"

"Here!" he shouts. I turn down the path at a sprint, tripping over myself as I go around the bend. I slam into the wall, but keep going, drawing one of my final arrows.

I skid to a stop as I come around another corner, finding myself face-to-face with one of Howe's honorguard, sword bloodied, and Aedan on the ground behind him. My eyes go wide and my heart stops. My brother...

"Aedan!"

I tear my eyes off his prone form, looking up at the heavily-armored and well-trained guard watching me through the slits in his helmet. I pull my bowstring back and fire the arrow I have at his face, but it bounces off his shield, denting the Amaranthine crest. He runs at me while I reload. His shield connects with my entire torso and flings me back so hard I hit the far wall. I sag to the ground, ears ringing and vision swimming. I somehow focus on the giant in silver armor. That blade raises and only one thought goes through my mind.

_Not until the Archdemon is dead._

A rush of healing energy washes over me. I feel completely rejuvenated, perfect, flawless, like I woke up from the best nap ever. My hands, my...I just glow white over my veins.

Oh dear Maker, what have I done?

_Muahahahahahaha! I just cliffhangered y'all! Unless you are able to reason through Elissa's draws to certain spells and figure out the specialization she has. Anyway, review please! Keeps my muse happy! _

_Wiki spirits *cough cough* hint hint._


	15. A Retelling Of Ostagar

_Did you go on the wiki and look up spirits like I suggested? Ha, well for those of you who did, you're still gonna be wrong when you get around to it! It actually has nothing to do with Elissa being a spirit healer, but more with how much she hopes for things *HINT HINT* :P_

All I can do is watch as my body moves of its own accord, jumping around and moving faster than humanly possible. The honorguard doesn't even have a chance to blink when my body propels itself through a roll to Aedan's side. My fingers close around the hilt of the family blade before my legs jump up and throw my body forward. He manages to bring up the bear-stamped shield of Amaranthine fast enough to block the sword, but as he goes to retaliate, I'm stepping around behind him and pushing the sword up through his chest.

Dear holy Maker this...me...I don't-

All the energy my body was using suddenly vanishes, leaving me to stand on my own two feet. The absence of whatever was holding me upright is so sudden that my legs practically collapse beneath me.

I look at my hands, but the creepy white glow is gone. So is the blinding anger I felt when I saw Aedan.

Aedan!

I scramble to my feet, running to his side with a complete disregard for my weapon or his. I grunt, rolling him onto his back, but see nothing. No wounds. I am confused, but start probing anyway. I check his head first. Nope, no blood there, but rather a nasty knot at the back of his head. He must've been whacked with that shield. Can't blame him for losing consciousness. That shield is hard. Was hard. Whatever.

I slap his cheek, making him start. "Oh dear Maker! What the-" His eyes slowly come into focus. "Ow!"

I snort, shifting back so he can get up. I am standing first and offer him a hand. "Glad to see you're alive still."

He massages his cheek and flexes his jaw, wincing, as I collect my bow and his sword. "No thanks to you. Are you sure you need that bow? You could just bitch slap the darkspawn back to the Deep Roads. Damn, Elissa!"

"I'm not slapping an Archdemon," I say. "Now come on. Thomas should still be in father's office if we're lucky."

Aedan nods, resituating the laurel shield on his arm. "How'd you kill that guy anyway? I couldn't get one blow on him!"

I hesitate before shrugging. "Luck, I guess."

He takes his sword from me, allowing me to take the lead through the castle the rest of the way. It's not a far run considering all of the guards are gone or dead. I look at Aedan and he nods, stepping back with his shield up. He points his sword over it, bracing himself. I put my back to the wall and slowly turn the door handle. Aedan kicks it the rest of the way open before leaping back. I roll in past him as all of the bolts and arrows sail straight into his shield or bounce off his armor. I get off three shots before they get the chance to reevaluate their position. Several flip tables over and take cover while others alternate between shooting at me or Aedan, who has taken a position behind a downed support beam. I rush over to a bookshelf, finding exactly what I'm looking for. I judge its weight quickly before I whip around and throw it into a crossbowman's face. He catches it, but by then my last fire arrow slams into the book. His hands and face ignite, causing a chorus of screams to tear from his throat. While they're stunned stupid by that display, I leap a table and Aedan charges from behind his pillar. I end up getting into a fistfight with another of the honorguard, leaving twenty-some odd men to Aedan.

The massive man kicks at my abdomen. I can't dodge that. I'm not fast enough.

_I am._

Within a split second, the creepy glow returns and throws me back in a flip, vanishing the instant my feet hit the ground. I don't pause to think, though; I get right back on him, sweeping his legs from beneath him easily. Once he hits the ground, I slit his throat with an arrow.

"Elissa, watch out!" Aedan yells.

I roll to the side, not seeing who is trying to kill me until I'm standing again.

"We both know I'm going to beat you," Thomas says. "You never could hurt me."

"You're a boy," I say stiffly, flexing my grip on my bow as I tense my muscles. "Were a boy. Something. But now you're a murderer, and I can hurt murderers."

"I'm not a murderer," Thomas retorts. "I'm a torturer. I listen to the screams of the Cousland loyalists and revel in them. I cause their screams. I make them wish they'd never come to Highever in the first place." He grins, twirling his sword. "Your father? His head is on a pike outside the portcullis. And your mother...you should've seen her face when I mounted it there. Have you seen that face, Elissa? That face showing the end of all hope and happiness?"

My skin prickles; my muscles itch. That damned bastard! He's going to die, just like his father. He's going to burn!

I drop my bow and dart forward, slamming my elbow into his side. I yank his arm down over my shoulder, popping it free. His hand releases his sword as I whip around and kick him in the jaw, throwing him back into the mantle of the fireplace. I somehow end up there before him and I catch him by the throat, slamming him to the floor. He looks good and dazed, so I pick him up by his shirt collar.

"I have seen that face, Thomas," I whisper. "I just now understand why you get off on it."

Without hesitation, I allow the shards of ice threatening to go free, stabbing his chest and neck, covering me in red blood. I throw his body aside, shaking my head, when I hear something metallic bounce off the floor. I look up, and it's his sword. His...his sword...just...now?

My eyes widen and I look down at myself. That glow.

I force the anger back, smother it.

"Tell them later," I mutter to myself.

_With all of your anger, later could be within the next few seconds._

* * *

><p>I sit up on the ramparts, watching as Fergus and Aedan bring father's head into the castle. The soldiers take our bodies out and arrange them in rows on the ground. Some people are walking amongst the rows, taking down names and flagging those who are identified. Others are coming back from the town, bringing healers and apostates in to help the wounded.<p>

And others...others lay in the dirt, never to be heard from again.

Luckily, none of my companions are those being prepared for burial or a pyre. Alistair was wounded badly and is now being tended to by a healer. The other three escaped unscathed.

Just like Howe.

I get to my feet, grabbing my bow as I stand. I jog down the steps and across the courtyard to the main hall, where Amaranthine's colors have been torn down and burned and Highever's have been returned. A fire crackles in the huge hearth at the opposite end of the hall. If I didn't know any better, I'd almost believe I was back on that day I met Duncan here.

Wolf gets up from his spot in the corner. He walks over to me, barking happily. I force a small smile as I scratch behind his ears. The mabari whines in response, but sticks to my side as I approach my haggard-looking mother and the entourage of guards she's been assigned.

Ser Gilmore fakes a smile for me and I return the gesture. He helps my mother out of her chair, and once she's standing, I wrap her in a hug. She hugs me back, rubbing my shoulder in a motherly gesture.

"Howe got away, I'm afraid," I say, pulling away.

"I thought as much," she says.

"He can't have gotten far. Let us-"

"No," my mother snaps, cutting me off before I can finish speaking. "I'm not letting my youngest run off after a psychopath."

"Mother, I-"

"He told us you died at Ostagar," Rory interrupts. "Thomas said everyone and everything at Ostagar was lost."

"Well, Aedan and I survived," I say carefully. "No thanks to Teyrn Loghain. He pulled out after the three of us lit the signal for his men to charge. He abandoned us at Ostagar. King Cailan died, Duncan died, everyone died...dear Maker, we almost died."

"Slow down, darling," mother says. "Tell us everything from the beginning."

I run a hand down my face, sighing. "We arrived at Ostagar a week after Howe attacked the castle. Duncan told us to prepare for our Joining and to start off, sent us to find Alistair, the other Warden still alive. After we found him, Duncan had him go round up the other two recruits, Ser Jory of Redcliffe and Daveth from Denerim. He sent the five of us into the Wilds to find our treaties-" I feel my pack to make sure I still have them. "-and when we returned, we went through the Joining. Once we had recovered, we met with King Cailan and Teyrn Loghain to review the battle plan. Cailan sent Aedan, Alistair, and me to the Tower of Ishal to light a beacon that would let Loghain's men know when to charge. We lit it, but he never attacked. Ostagar was lost because Ferelden's greatest hero betrayed his best friend's son."

Mother nods slowly, her sign of thinking. "Aedan was talking to me just before you left to search the castle for Howe." My eyes widen and I can tell she knows I know what they were talking about. "We need to have a talk about that later." I nod. Maker knows I'm not going to talk my way out of this one. "Anyway, you were saying Loghain betrayed us?"

I nod again. "He thinks Cailan was letting the Orlesians in by asking for their Wardens to assist us in the upcoming battles."

She sighs, running a thin hand through her recently cleaned and brushed hair. "Elissa, I'm inclined to agree with Loghain on that matter-" I open my mouth to protest, but she holds a hand up to silence me. "-although that doesn't mean I agree with his methods. You forget, I grew up during the Orlesian occupation. I don't like Orlesians as much as the next person. However, I agree that more Wardens would've been a great help, Orlesian or not."

"You're telling me although you dislike Orlesians, you'd ha rather let them into the country than let Loghain follow through with his plan?" She nods and I sigh with relief. "Okay, I can work with that."

"You do realize that the Wardens are now leading a rebellion against a very popular man?"

"Aedan and I are popular people amongst the Landsmeet and amongst the commoners," I say stiffly, straightening. "We're not heroes, but Loghain is ripping Ferelden apart in a civil war while we have the Blight to contend with. We're Wardens to boot."

"He has an army, Elissa," Ser Gilmore says.

I turn my gaze on him. "And that's why I have a way to get us an army." I pull out the scroll for the Circle of Magi, the closest ally we can call on. "I have treaties obliging mages, dwarves, and elves to help the Wardens during a Blight. And if Highever doesn't turn on us, we will have plenty of men to fight this war after going to Redcliffe."

"To Arl Eamon?" mother asks. I nod. "And Bann Teagan?"

Sighing, I nod yet again. "Yes, Alistair has connections with the Guerrins. He believes Eamon will help us."

"So you will be leaving, then?"

"As soon as Alistair wakes, yes," I say, nodding.

"Then call the rest of your friends here," she says. "You lot look like you could use a proper meal for a night."

"Thank you," I say, bowing as I back out of the main hall.


	16. First Kiss

_I brought the rose back :) changed my mind!_

After Aedan and I are finished showing off Grey Wardens' appetites, Alistair is still unconscious, so mother has rooms set up for us. Aedan and I get our old rooms, naturally, while the others get guest rooms set up. I don't go to sleep though. I sit up in bed, a sleeveless night shirt and loose trousers on. I've never been one for dresses, let alone night dresses. Eventually I get up, patting my leg to have Wolf follow. He lurches like a drunk, but mabari don't get drunk. They get sleepy.

"Do me a favor," I say, crouching outside of my door. He whines his affirmative and I smile, ruffling his ears. "Watch my mother for me, okay?" The mabari whines again. I scratch his head as I straighten. He curls up right in front of the door, back to the wood and eyes locked on the distant point of the door leading in.

It's not a long walk to Alistair's door. The healer that had been working on him insisted he be put up in one of these guest rooms. Less than twenty feet from my own room.

I stand in the small waiting room, shaking. I blink, and for a moment, feel like I'm back here that night, cutting my way through Howe's men with Aedan and Wolf at my side. But when I blink again, the feeling passes.

Now I'm not an archer. I'm a mage. I'm not a noblewoman. I'm a Grey Warden. I choose who I love and don't love. I don't have to force smiles at people I hate.

I sigh and go back to my room, pulling a small trinket from my pack where I tossed it earlier. I state at my mother's locket before closing my hand around it and going back out. Wolf looks up at me, but goes back to sleep soon enough.

Swallowing my courage, I cross the waiting room to Alistair's door. I twist the handle and step inside.

"Sneaking around?" he asks.

I grin, somehow glad he's awake when my previous plan required him to be sleeping. "It's my castle; I'll do what I like, thank you very much."

He chuckles, wincing when it stresses the wound on his side. "So did you get Howe?"

"No," I whisper, sitting down beside him. He relaxes, leaning back, while I brush his sticky hair from his face. "You have a fever." My eyebrows knit together in concern. "Are you feeling better?"

"Just a bit," he says softly, catching my hand. He holds it against his bare chest, shuddering with each breath. "Now that I'm not lonely."

"Alistair, if you need anything, just ask," I say. "My room is only ten feet away."

"I could do with water," he says. I nod, pulling my hand away somewhat reluctantly, and cross his room, pouring the clean water from a basin into a glass beside it. I take it to him, gently helping him sit up before I actually give it to him. While he drinks, I run my empty hand over his chest, frowning.

"You feel broken," I say softly.

"What?" Alistair asks, voice sounding much better now.

"Inside," I say, hand over his heart. "You feel broken. Like you've lost the will to live. You've lost the will to even hope..." I slide my hand over a little, my frown turning into a small smile. "But you have found something. Someone. Someone that is helping you heal." I smile up at him. "That's a wonderful thing."

_Everyone needs hope._

"Elissa, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying," Alistair whispers.

I blink, pulling my hand back suddenly. I have no idea what I just did, but I felt as if I could see...all of Alistair's troubles. Like I could feel them there.

"Here," I say. "I want to give you this." I put my left hand, the one with my mother's necklace, in his hand. "When I tried to give it back to her today, she told me I should give it to someone who means something to me." I let go of it, drawing my hand back into my lap awkwardly. "You...I figured you could use a pick-me-up." He stares at the small locket with the crest carved on it. "My family has passed it through each generation, onto someone important, like a grandchild or their own kid. But...I know you've wanted a family, Alistair. I was thinking since I like you, goofy and all, I'd give it to you and let you know someone's looking out for you." His eyes are wide still, shocked. A blush creeps its way onto my cheeks and as I go to get up, he catches my wrist.

"Don't go," he says. "I've got something for you, too." He pulls me down to the bed as he climbs out slowly, going to his pack. He rummages around in it carefully until he finds what he's looking for. "Okay, no peeking. Close your eyes, Elissa." I laugh quietly, but do as told, squeezing my eyes shut tight. I feel him sit back down, hear him groan appreciatively at the mattress. "All right, you can open them now." I open them slowly so my eyes can adjust, and when they do, I see a brilliant red rose, thorns carefully removed and petals in perfect condition. "It's nothing compared to what you gave me, but-"

I cut him off, pulling his mouth to mine without further thought. He seems confused at first, uncertain, but after a moment, he kisses me back, and my heart skips a beat in excitement. I can't believe myself. I just-I...I can feel his brokenness repairing itself under my hand. Just a little, but I feel something fix itself inside of him.

Alistair is the one to end the kiss, pulling away from me as gently as he can. He rests his forehead on my own, though, smiling.

"You're worth the mana," I say, smiling back at him as I put a hand over the bandage covering his side. My hand glows with blue energy. He stiffens under my touch, but his breathing comes easier, his shoulders visibly relax, and his eyes soften. "Better?"

"So much," he says, kissing my nose. I giggle, tingles running down my spine at the attention. "Anyway...I take it you like it?"

"Of course I do," I say, taking the rose from him.

"That's a relief," Alistair sighs, grinning at me. "I just thought...here I am, doing all this complaining, but you've never had any good experiences of being a Grey Warden. It's been all death and destruction, and you haven't gotten one word of congratulations. I figured I'd give you this. I picked it in Lothering because when I saw it, I wondered how something this beautiful could exist in such a dark time." He looks away, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "In some ways, I think the same when I see you."

"I...I don't know what to say, Alistair," I whisper, staring at my hands and the rose as a blush creeps up on me. "Thank you."

"You like it then?" he asks nervously.

"How could I not?" I say, smiling up at him. "I love it. Truly." Alistair smiles at me. It's not his normal smile, either. It's large and reaches his eyes. His whole face lights up. My own smile grows. "Here, let me help you." Alistair hands me the necklace and turns slightly so I can clasp it behind his neck. "There."

His stomach growls and I cover my mouth to stifle a giggle.

"I missed supper," he says defensively. "I'm going to be hungry."

"Well, come on," I say, grabbing his hand. "Let's go see what is in the larder."

He grins as I help him up. "Do you think there will be cheese?"

Sighing, I say, "Undoubtedly. Cheese is a big thing in Amaranthine."

Alistair frowns, squeezing my hand. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's fine," I say, waving his comment aside. "You didn't know. Come on; I need to go put this in my room so I don't lose it."

_Just some fluff! Not surprising, since there's been a lot of fluff so far lol_


	17. Kinloch Hold

The next morning, my family sends our party off with a bunch of supplies, which Bodahn has let us put in his cart. We've got plenty of food to last us to the Circle. The dwarves know they're getting some of it. Aedan and I aren't big on wasting food, and even though we eat enough for the entire party on our own, we still have an excess.

"I'll send a runner to Redcliffe and tell Eamon to expect you sometime in the next week or so," Fergus said before we left.

Ever since the honorguard hurt Aedan, I've had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. It reminds me of a fly, but this fly never goes away. It buzzes away all day, happy to annoy me when I'm talking to Morrigan about ways to conserve mana.

"Are you all right?" Morrigan asks when I zone out halfway through one of her various explanations. "You don't seem o be paying much attention."

"Oh, sorry, Morrigan," I say, shaking my head. "I just...I have a lot on my mind, lately. Continue, please. I'll try harder to focus."

She chuckles, gold eyes blazing. "Are you sure you have not dabbled in blood magic?"

My eyes go wide in shock. Even the buzzing goes silent for a moment, and when it returns, it's an angry humming that sets me on edge. "Yes, Morrigan, I'm positive I've never used blood magic, nor will I ever."

She looks away, smirking. Ever since my 'skimpy clothing' remark, she's been friendlier to me. I don't really mind, honestly, if that keeps her and Alistair from killing each other. "Are you a Spirit Healer, then? Do you get remarkable stores of energy and mana when healing people?"

"Er...I guess so."

"Ah," she says, nodding to herself. "That explains much." She crosses her arms when Alistair looks over his shoulder back at me, smiling. I smile back and he looks away, but not before shooting Morrigan a wicked glare. "Tell me, Elissa. How long have you had a strong connection with spirits in the Fade?"

"I...I didn't know I did."

"To be a Spirit Healer one must consort with the benevolent spirits," she says. "And to be deemed worthy enough of their presence, one must prove themselves to the spirit and gain its trust."

"I see."

"You've been flirting with possession since you became a Spirit Healer," she whispers to me. "And whatever spirit you've been consorting with has taken a strong liking to you, one so great that when you called on it last, it joined with you."

My eyes narrow suspiciously. "Did you just call me an abomination?"

"If you were an abomination, I'm sure you wouldn't look like this and walk freely on the earth, now would you?" Morrigan retorts dryly. "Only demons make abominations, Elissa. You don't harbor one."

"I'm not sure about that," I mutter. "When I get upset, it comes out and kills anything nearby." I rub my forehead, sighing. "Yesterday, when Aedan and I were looking for Thomas, I found him hurt and a guard standing over him. One of Howe's men. I got so angry and upset, but he injured me, and when I decided I didn't-couldn't-die, my...I started glowing white. I could move faster and process his movements faster. I could do things not even a master acrobat could do!" By the time I finish speaking, my whisper turns into a frenzied one. "What's wrong with me?"

"It doesn't sound like a spirit of compassion," Morrigan says thoughtfully, ignoring my question. "And anyway, I'm sure the weakest wouldn't be able to do something like that to its host. So you attracted something that would be willing to help you heal people, but is also powerful. Hmm...I would say a spirit of Hope, but-"

"That's it," I say as the angry humming turns into a pleased buzz. "It has to be. Last night, I was talking with Alistair and I could...feel how broken he was if I touched him. I could sense the lack of hope in him."

"Spirits of Hope rarely travel across the Veil," Morrigan says. "You must have done something to get a spirit that powerful to pay attention to a mage."

"Spirits don't even want to cross the Veil," I say, confused. "And if you say spirits of Hope rarely pay attention to mortals, wouldn't it be near impossible to get one's attention?"

"Either you are a really powerful mage with a sickeningly good and pure heart, or you are extremely fortunate and lucky."

I snort, laughing. "Or the spirit is defective. I'm none of those things you described."

Morrigan laughs, shaking her head. "Elissa, if we are correct in saying you have a spirit of Hope living inside your head, you will need to be careful at the Tower. Templars will be drawn to you more so than they usually would be, and since the Veil is bound to be thin there, demons will find you easily. You must be careful."

"I've never once had a demon contact me," I say stiffly. "I don't see why I'd suddenly become so interesting."

Morrigan sighs. "You and I need to talk at camp tonight."

"Probably a good idea," I agree, chuckling. "I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to magic."

* * *

><p>We stop a day from Kinloch Hold. I ate supper with Alistair and the others before following Morrigan back over to her separate camp. She spent the few hours we had teaching me about demons and spirits and the Fade. I only knew the basics, things she said Circle mages knew a week after going to the Circle. Then she spent the last hour before it would be time to start the watch rotation egging me on, teasing me relentlessly, being the bitch she is to Alistair, but I refused time crack. She seemed satisfied with my level of control and let me go join Alistair for the first watch.<p>

"Evening," Alistair says.

"I need to tell you about a nightmare I had," I say, sitting beside him. He seems surprised, but lets me talk. "It was about the Archdemon. Not very long and forgettable, but at the very end, just before I woke up, it said it...it said 'I know you are there, Warden'. I don't know if-"

"Elissa, that's not a good thing," Alistair says immediately. "If it knows we're here, it'll actively send darkspawn after us."

I sit here silently, staring at the darkness beyond the small ring of light surrounding the fire. "Camp won't be safe."

"One of us should be on watch at all hours of the night," Alistair says, getting up. "Hold on; I'm going to talk with Aedan before he's asleep." I nod, clasping my hands together. "Shout if you see anything, okay?"

"Yeah," I say, smiling up at him. He smiles back, kissing my forehead before going to my twin's tent. My cheeks start burning and I look away, embarrassed. He seems to fall into an easy beat with this thing we have, but I've never had a real relationship outside of any arrangements my parents made. I know he has just as much experience in that department as I do-none-but he still seems to know how someone treats the other. I don't. Whatever relationships I had were fake and emotionless. There was only the show of it before. Now there are feelings and other things involved that confuse me. I don't know what to feel, what to say, what to do. I just know how to make him blush. But Alistair seems to know what to say to make me smile. He seems to know how to make something work, and like I said, he's already told me he has no experience with relationships or 'licking lampposts in winter'. But...he's just so confident. How does he know how I feel? Other than the obvious, I mean. How does he know what to say and when to say it?

My thoughts are interrupted by the subject sitting back down with a grunt. "Aedan wants us to take the first half of the night and let him take the other."

I blink as I pull my brain back to focus. The Archdemon talking to me. That's it. "He wants one person on watch?"

"He said he'd get others up after every shift and take a nap in the cart in the morning," Alistair saus, shrugging. "Makes sense if you ask me."

"It's not that it doesn't make sense," I say, shaking my head. "I'm just kinda overwhelmed with everything right now. I totally forgot what we were even talking about at first."

He chuckles, taking my hand as he stares at it. He traces shapes over the back of my hand, smiling to himself. "You know, I honestly have no clue what I'm doing with you."

I laugh, leaning on his shoulder. "I was just thinking about that myself. I have no idea what actually goes into something like this and I was so confused with how you do."

Alistair looks at me like I'm not from Ferelden. "You don't know what to do? I doubt it." He smirks at me though, going back to running his thumb over my hand. The small gesture brings a smile to my face. No one I've ever been with has ever done something like that. It's been gifts and dinners together, all the time. Hardly talking. Just trying to establish a friendship so it wouldn't be awkward if we got married.

"Hey, Alistair," I say. He looks up at me, hazel eyes glistening. Happy. He's...happy? Why? Ugh, this is a bigger problem than I thought it could be.

"Hmm?"

I lean up to him, kissing him gently. He smiles and I'm not sure how I know that. A warm feeling rushes through me, making me smile back. I tangle a hand in his hair, enjoying how soft it is and how his rough stubble is a strange contrast to his soft lips.

"I won't get used to that," he whispers, pulling away.

"What?"

"Just...having someone who cares the way you do," Alistair answers.

I smile down at our hands, that sweet and warm feeling spreading further. "You're different, you know that?" He raises an eyebrow. "You're not like most men I've met."

"How so?" Alistair asks.

I shrug, suddenly embarrassed. "I...I don't know. You're kind. You treat me like an equal and you care about what I say. You're funny and goofy, not all serious all the time. You just...you make me feel different."

A grin creeps onto his face as he leans forward, pressing his mouth against mine.

"You think I'm goofy?" Alistair asks in a teasing tone.

"Yeah," I say, sighing in contentment as I lean against him again. "You're so sweet and innocent and you have a goofy, awkward charm about you that's irresistible."

"Thanks for calling me awkward," he jokes.

"You're welcome," I say, smiling.

* * *

><p>Alistair takes my hand and pulls me into the cart alongside him, allowing Aedan to hop out first. He shoots a warning glance at the blond man, eyes narrowed, but Alistair doesn't notice. He just smiles as I settle against his chest and close my eyes. They'll get us up as we approach the Circle. I don't doubt it.<p>

Alistair kisses the side of my head, shifting once before passing out. His arms are around my waist, hands clasped in my lap. I put my own hands on his and shift my shoulders.

"Ugh," Morrigan says. "Disgusting."

Alistair snorts, unamused. "Shut up, witch." I smirk, squeezing his hands to tell him to ignore her. "Sorry," he whispers in my ear.

"It's fine," I say, smiling. Eyes still shut, I yawn, stretching my legs before nodding off. My sleep isn't a good one, what with my pillow being a metal plate-not that I mind laying against Alistair-and with the road being bumpy. I don't get a deep enough sleep for dreams, thankfully, but it is deep enough that it feels like I just closed my eyes when Aedan's waking us up.

"I think only four of us should go into the Tower," Aedan says while Alistair and I get out of the cart. "Elissa, Alistair, and Leliana, would you like to join me? Morrigan, Sten, Bodahn, and Sandal, I'd think it best if you stayed at the Inn down the hill."

Morrigan shoots me a look as she leads the four staying behind to the inn, the Spoiled Princess. "Careful," she mouths. I nod, squeezing Alistair's hand.

"Morning," Aedan says brightly to the templar on the dock. "We need to get across the lake to the Tower. It's important business."

"I'm afraid I can't let you across," the man says stiffly. "Knight-Commander Greagoir's orders. Now go back the way you came, travelers."

Aedan opens his mouth to show the man just how bad of a temper he's got, but I put a hand on his shoulder and push him aside, crossing my arms at the young templar. "Like my brother said, it's important business. The Knight-Commander wouldn't be happy if you kept us from speaking with him."

"The Knight-Commander wouldn't be happy if I let four strangers across the lake, apostate," he snarls. He reaches for his sword, but I catch his wrist, frowning.

"I'm a Grey Warden, templar," I say. "Now I'd really appreciate it if you let us across this lake so we can present the Circle with a treaty."

"I have every right to arrest you."

"You have no right," I snap. Part of me wishes Wolf were here, but he went with Morrigan and Sten. "I have the right to hit you for interfering with official business, though, and unless you take us across _right now_, I'm going to exercise that right." I release him as he nods, scowling.

"Fine, fine, if it pleases you, get in the ferry and I'll take you across."

"Damn right you will," I mutter under my breath, clambering into the small boat. The four of them follow suit, Alistair sitting beside me and the templar sitting in the spot to row the boat. Alistair keeps a firm grip on my hand all the while, watching the man's back with a scrutinizing glare. I, however, stare up at the massive spire rising out of the lake, eyes wide. If I grew up differently, I could have ended up here, with templars watching me at every hour of the day. But I would have been around other mages, at least.

I would have probably been killed already for harboring a spirit. It hums at the thought, excited by it. Weird.

The templar rows us up to the opposite shore, hopping out first to dock the boat. Once he has it tied down, he leads us inside.

We find the Tower in chaos.

No mages are visible in the one room I can see, but there are templars, and lots of them. Alistair instinctively grabs my hand and hides me behind him. I let him because all, and I mean all, of the templars are looking at me.

"Carroll, I thought I told you no one was allowed across," a man says. His hair is graying and he has bags under his eyes. He just finished giving orders to a rather wounded looking templar, but now he turns his attention to the templar that brought us here.

A splitting pain erupts in my head and I groan, looking down. I press a hand to my forehead, blinking back tears of pain. Alistair squeezes my hand in an attempt to comfort me, but it doesn't help.

_Something powerful is here,_ the spirit says. _A sloth demon._

_Blood magic, _I say. The spirit buzzes, angered by the presence of a demon.

That's when I realize I am no longer standing, but propped up against the wall, Alistair leaning over me. I blink, dazed, as I get to my feet.

"Are you all right?" Alistair asks, concern coloring his voice. I'm struck by how sweet that is, but just then Aedan and Leliana join us, the latter carrying a pack full of potions inside.

"Fine," I reply. "What's going on?"

"The Knight-Commander has called for the Right of Annulment," Aedan says. "However, none of us believe all the mages could have died or succumbed to the blood mages inside. He's blocked the doors and won't let anyone in or out of the Tower."

"You aren't going to let him kill them all!"

"No, we were waiting for you to get up so we could head inside," Leliana supplies. "He'll cancel the order if we can bring him First Enchanter Irving."

"Then what are we waiting for?" I ask. "Let's get to it."


	18. Pride and Hope

As we walk down the winding hallway, I hear the boom of the massive doors as the templars pull them shut. There's a strange sense of finality that accompanies the sound.

_We are not the only one here, _the spirit says. _There is another. A spirit of Faith. _

_That's a good thing? _

_Yes. _

I flex my grip on my bow nervously as we approach a doorway. The spirit's nagging grows stronger until I can sense another similar presence as well. The feeling isn't quite the same I get when I focus on myself, but it's similar.

Aedan opens the door, revealing a scene involving mages and a molten ghoul thing trying to kill them. Children scream, hiding behind some mages, while one casts a spell and sends it back to the ground. On the far side of the room is a large barrier that glows blue light. It seals us in this small chamber with a high, vaulted ceiling.

The mage spins on us, holding a hand up threateningly. My eyes widen and I step forward.

"Wynne?!"

"Stop right there! Grey Warden or no, I'll kill you where you stand if you threaten the children! Who's the mage?"

"I am-"

"You are an abomination!" she says furiously. "Blood mage!"

"No, no, no, no! I'm not a blood mage, I swear! I...I don't know how to explain, Wynne, but you have to trust me. I'm here to help you and the Circle. Greagoir has called for the Right of Annulment."

"You're here to carry it out, then?" she asks suspiciously.

"Maker, no! I'm trying to find Irving so he revokes it!" I exclaim.

"Then we must move quickly," she says after several minutes of thought. She relaxes from her stance, turning to speak with the other assembled mages. Aedan takes control of the conversation from there and I fall back to Alistair's side.

_It is the woman, _the spirit says. _Her, in the red robes._

_Wynne? _

_A spirit of Faith, as I said. _

Wynne and Aedan head toward the barrier, talking to each other. Alistair, Leliana, and I follow, hands on our weapons. I can feel abominations here. Demons are everywhere, I know it. There's so many we would have enough to fight the Blight with them.

"Abominations in the next room," I say, drawing an arrow. "Lots of them, too."

Aedan nods, accepting my words as truth. "Alistair, to my side. We don't want to risk them getting injured."

"On it," he says.

The boys draw their weapons before Aedan kicks the door in. A blast of fire slams into his shield, blasting around him in an arc. Wynne casts some sort of shield over us before it can harm us, and the guys lead the charge into the room, slamming into the pack of abominations. I follow as quickly as I can, smothering all nagging feelings as I get off an arrow. The...thing screams as the barbed arrowhead buries itself in its eye. A mangled and unrecognizable body falls to the floor with a thud.

One down, two to go.

It would be an easy fight if they didn't seem so damn intent on me. I don't shoot again; I dodge all the swipes of their claws and their spells expertly, jumping the large dining table on several occasions. They chase me around, and eventually, the others manage to kill them, but wow. That...

Morrigan was right.

"Demon," I say, turning in the direction leading deeper into the library. The others take a moment to recover, but I stand straight, unfazed. "Weak. More abominations." I start off, not waiting for anyone. I hear them scramble after me.

"Elissa-" Aedan starts.

I hold up a hand to silence him, peeking around the bookcase to make sure that the demon is in the last section. Realizing it is, I take off at a run, sprinting at the next section of books. I slide to a stop, facing it as it turns.

"Hope," it growls.

The Rage demon vanishes into the ground as its abomination friends run forward. They meet Aedan and Alistair before they can reach me, and I whip around, the spell draining my mana as I launch a stream of ice shards in a line, following the Rage demon across the library. The demon roars, furious, as my spell cuts through the molten flesh of its arms and torso.

"Weak!" the thing roars angrily. "Weak spirits! You have no power!"

Shit.

My skin crackles as the freaky glow appears. Lightning courses down my arm and I throw a huge orb of it at the demon. The monster explodes in a burst of red and purple light, spitting little balls of flames everywhere.

"_Stop..._" a low, soothing voice commands. It booms over the entire tower, causing everything, and I mean everything, to still. "_It has come to my attention that there is a very, very powerful mage making their way through the Circle as I speak. If you allow my forces to bring you to me, mage, we can avoid further bloodshed._"

"Not good enough, demon!" I shout, furious.

At first, the Tower is silent, but then it rumbles as the voice laughs. "_You can have the First Enchanter. We will leave peacefully if you just come to me, mageling._"

The two abominations look at me, dead eyes serious, when Aedan gives me such a hard look I shiver.

"Don't you dare," Alistair says.

I look at the abominations, hesitant to so willingly go to a man capable of this much destruction, but then I nod. "Take me to him."

* * *

><p>As Elissa is led away, Alistair stares after her, eyes wide in shock. She glances over her shoulder at him, blue eyes twinkling, but then they disappear within the next chamber. His companions are stunned stupid as well.<p>

"We need to do something," Wynne says abruptly. "Uldred will not keep his promise. Nor will the demon controlling him."

"Then we move," Aedan says resolutely. "I don't care how powerful my sister is; I am not leaving her to the mercy of blood mages and demons."

"She will hold out," Wynne assures him. "She has a strange backing."

Alistair stands, picking up his longsword. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>"There she is!" a giddy voice says. The two abominations lead me up a set of stairs and into a large, round chamber. "Welcome to the party!" A bald man in robes waves his servants away, annoyed, and motions me forward. "Tell me, girl, what is your name?"<p>

"Elissa," I say flatly, "Cousland."

"Wonderful, wonderful! Welcome, Elissa! Welcome! My name is Uldred," he says. "I have an invitation to extend; one I am sure you can't refuse." He smiles a sickening smile, the smile of a possessed man. I feel a tugging sensation in the back of my mind and I twitch my head, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. "I want you to join me, Elissa. You are a powerful, powerful mage, with a strange bond with a spirit of Hope." The voice is no longer his; it's Alistair's. The sounds of his voice sends chills down my spine. "I offer a home, a wonderful family and life away from the Wardens and the Blight." That...that sounds...tempting. "Your family will be there. Aedan, Fergus, Oriana and Oren, and even your parents." Dear Maker. "I will be, too. We can all be a happy family, together."

I start shaking, hands clenched into fists. "Alistair..."

"All you have to do is accept, love," he says. "Please. You know I've always wanted a family. We could be together."

_Don't listen to his lies! _

My eyes snap open. "No. I refuse your offer, demon."

Uldred laughs horrendously, a disturbing sound that makes the room vibrate. "Foolish girl. Pride is as strong as Hope. How can you possibly believe you'll defeat me?" I shrug, reaching around behind me for my bow. "Your friends are gone, trapped in Sloth's domain. You can't save them now."

No. No, I will save them. Once he's dead at my feet and the mages are safe.

"Foolish," he says, shaking his head. "You're going to get yourself killed." He starts glowing gold, gaining height, width, and everything else in between, until he's at least twenty feet tall and ten feet from shoulder to shoulder.

Pride demon.

Holy shit. Dear Maker, now what am I supposed to do?

He swings a massive fist down at me, but I leap to the side, panting, as I come to a stand behind him. "Where is your spirit? Come out to play Hope!"

Fine.

* * *

><p>Aedan ducks under a demon's claws as Alistair drives his sword through its neck. Aedan gets out of the way, moving onto the blood mage in the back with her charmed templars. A large one charges at him, but Leliana fires an arrow into his eye slit and he collapses on the spot. He blocks a blow coming from one to his left, driving his sword up through the templar's chest. Alistair pummels the templar approaching Aedan's flank, giving the man the chance to pull his weapon free. He charges the blood mage, barely twitching as she fumbles to control him.<p>

Aedan makes short work of the woman, cleaning his sword on the hem of her robes before sheathing it. "How the hell did one mage do this?"

"You would not understand how some of us felt under the templars' unwavering gazes," Wynne says solemnly. "It pushed some into the arms of demons and others into a deep hatred. Where there's hate, there's the chance for evil to spread."

Aedan is about to respond when a scream rockets through the tower, chilling him to his bones. He locks gazes with his fellow Warden.

"It was her, wasn't it?" Alistair asks.

"It was," Aedan says. He rubs his hands together anxiously, saying, "We need to move before something happens to her."

* * *

><p>I use my own skin to see. The light is brilliant enough for it.<p>

Uldred is shouting at his abominations frantically, screaming things at the mages that have toughed it out so far. I only hope one is Irving.

I fire an arrow into the back of one abomination now, causing it to stumble forward and collapse at the feet of the mages. They kick it away, disgusted by someone who used to be their friend. I pull my attention back to the Pride demon dominating the center of the room. It roars furiously before slamming both fists into the ground. The floor shakes, knocking me off my feet. Damn it.

I recover quickly enough to roll away from its descending hand, flicking my wrist to send out a small tendril of lightning. The demon recoils with a furious snarl as I retreat, searching for my bow. I spot it and run for it, throwing all the speed my body can muster into my sprint. I reach it within seconds.

Uldred turns on me, growling, but I fire a volley of arrows, all aimed at his face. Several manage to find breaks in the ridges protecting him and a few find his eyes. He staggers back, roaring, scrambling with his face in an attempt to remove the arrows sticking there. Too bad for him; I only used barbed arrows, leaving forcing them through as the only way to get rid of them. He wants those out, he's either going to rip his face to pieces trying to, or he's going to have to force them through his skull.

But of course my life can't be that simple.

Instead of struggling more, he gives up, doing his best to find me. I sneak around past him, to his back, before leaping on, using an arrow to latch myself there. He roars again, staggering back with a huge, thunderous stomp. I hold on though, trying to find the willpower to focus long enough on casting a spell. Once I've managed to get that far, I pull out my recently-aquired knife and cut away a large section of plate. Uldred bucks, throwing my grip, but my feet are firmly planted and my arrow stays strong. Ripping away the black shell, I reveal a sickening purple skin and throw myself off his back, launching the spell faster than I can blink. The ice buries in his back, sinking into his flesh far enough that it rips out of his chest.

As Uldred collapses dead at my feet, I finally look down at my own wound. A massive one, smack in the middle of my torso. Blood drips down my shirt, staining my entire body red with sticky gore. I still feel shocked as I reach up to touch the edges of the hole, wincing at the feel of it.

My adrenaline starts to fade, and when it's gone, I slump to my knees, overwhelmed by the waves of pain washing over my body. I barely hear footsteps as someone approaches. I see robes, mages, as they ease me back to the floor, hands glowing.


	19. The Fade

_So you've probably noticed all the weird typos in here by now. Just wanted to say I write this on my tablet and sometimes my auto correct is pretty damn stupid. Like I literally just noticed a while back I tried typing 'Aedan and Leliana are' but it came up 'Aedan and Leliana Andre' when I've never once typed Andre lol. So...yeah. Explanation finally came out. The normal typos like a missing letter are most likely my fault. _

_And thanks to the reviewers! I'm glad you like the story so far!_

My feet skid over the sickening clump of fleshy goo on the floor. I lock eyes with a small army of abominations, standing between me and the last demon of substance. Sloth.

"You should join your friends," a calming voice says, blanketing my mind. "You seem tired. Why don't you take a nap, like them?"

I tell myself it's a bad idea, but the voice relaxes me, tiring my body out. After the mages managed to save my life, I set off to meet up with the others, saying we'd come get them once it was safe. It took less than five minutes of fighting and walking for me to sense it in the Tower, and took me even less time to realize I'd have to kill it.

"No..."

My world turns dark.

* * *

><p>I open my eyes, smiling down at the boy beside me. He grins, eyes twinkling. "Are we stealing, Auntie?"<p>

"Of course not, Oren!" I exclaim, laughing. "It's our castle, so therefore it's our food." His face lights up as I lead him into the larder quietly, checking over-dramatically just for my nephew. Abandoned. No one is here. Nan must have gone to bed early, then. "What do you want, Oren?"

"Apples!" the small boy says excitedly. He rushes across the kitchen to the hanging basket, climbing atop a table to reach. I lean on the doorway, smiling to myself.

"Now you shouldn't be here this late, Pup," a familiar voice says. My back stiffens immediately as I turn to face my father. "You know Nan will have your head if she finds out you were here." I shrug, amused at the thought. The teyrn sighs, chuckling. "This is Alistair's influence, is it not?"

Alistair...? He never-

Damn demons!

"You are dead," I say simply. "So is Oren and Oriana. Nan is, too. Howe killed you." My hand goes back to my bow, closing around the grip. "You're not my family. This is a lie! All of it!" I draw an arrow, backing into the kitchen as I alternate my aim between my father and my nephew.

"Elissa?" Alistair walks into the kitchen, looking confused. His hair is ruffled and his shirt is missing. "What are you doing?"

Tears spring to my eyes. "This is a lie. I don't know what you think you're doing, but it's not working!" Before I can change my mind, I aim my bow at Oren, tears flowing freely. "I'm sorry." The demon lunges, taking its true form just as my arrow slams into its chest, throwing it back. The other two change and I shoot them down, too, heart breaking with each shot I fire. "Damn it! Damn you! Damn the Fade and damn it all!"

I collapse to my knees, shaking with each sob, unable to control myself. I cry myself out, and when all my tears are spent, I fall back, still shaking as dry sobs hit me.

"On your feet," a stern voice orders. "Your friends need our help." I look up, wiping my eyes with my gloved fist. A tall, white glowing shape stands before me, staff in hand. There are no features, no nothing. The spirit is simply there, armed. She is featureless, nothing more than the outline of a woman. She has no face.

"Why are you helping me?" I ask, voice shaking.

"Because you are worthy," she says simply. "Now take my hand. We must go before Sloth kills them." The spirit extends a hand to me, her empty one. I hesitate, unsure of whether I should actually trust this thing, but take the offered hand after several seconds of searching my head for the now-absent buzzing.

At first, there's nothing but blackness and the feel of something solid clutched in my left fist. I feel like I am falling, but the thing I'm holding doesn't feel like it is, so I hold it tighter. It only lasts for a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity until there's solid ground beneath my boots. A green haze settles over everything, making me shiver.

"Where are we?" I ask, looking at my companion. I drop her hand.

"The realm of a Sloth demon," she says, voice full of hate. "There are several weaker demons here preventing us from freeing your friends and leaving." She starts forward, determined. "Your brother has dealt with the first. We must help him tend to the rest."

"But-" I start. She's gone, vanished around a bend in the path. Scowling, I run after her. She's standing beside a strange pedestal. Her hands glow as they roam over the air around it.

"A portal to the other islands," the spirit says. She pauses in concentration. "Your brother is on the second, almost done with Rhagos."

"Rhagos?"

"A Rage demon," she says, beckoning me over. I walk to her side cautiously, staring at the strange symbols carved into the pedestal. "We must go to the third if we wish to make a difference now." She twists her wrists in a swirling motion and a portal appears, showing a maze-like scene just beyond. "I will warn you, Elissa. There are darkspawn here."

Squaring my shoulders, I say, "Fantastic. Let's get started."

She makes the 'after you' motion, so I walk up to the portal, take a deep breath, and step through. I am instantly transported to the location I saw moments ago. I check over my shoulder and the spirit appears a moment later, almost like it was out of thin air. She strolls past, continuing through the maze. I follow, but can't keep track of all the twists and turns we go through. All I know is we eventually come upon a massive door. She taps it, humming to herself.

"Hmm," she says, sounding surprised.

The ground thunders with massive footsteps. I look towards the sound only to see this gigantic rock...thing coming in our direction. It grabs a chunk of the ground and throws it at the door, right at the spirit. She disappears for a moment, reappearing when the door slams open. My senses explode with a large amount of darkspawn.

Oh dear Maker. There are so many it actually _hurts_.

The golem runs at my spirit, however, and I cry out, drawing and firing an arrow within a second. It bounces off the stone shoulder, naturally, but the golem looks at me, back to the spirit, and at me again before charging past to the darkspawn. I hesitate, confused, but race after it, dropping three as fast as it punches one into the wall fifty feet away.

My spirit appears at my side, casting various spells, and not all of them are defensive. She definitely takes the bulk of the darkspawn out, leaving the golem and I no more than a few. I don't mind that much.

Just as the final darkspawn falls, I turn, aiming an arrow at them golem, eyes narrowed. "Don't come near us or I'll kill you."

The stone monster flashes gold once. I flinch, covering my eyes, and when I look back, there's no golem, but a man instead. Aedan.

A grin breaks out on my face as I grab him in a hug.

"Thank the Maker!" Aedan says, hugging me back. "We thought Uldred killed you!"

"Damn near did," I grumble, pulling back. "I'm lucky the mages were there. They saved my life." I look down the hall where my spirit has wandered off to. "But he's dead. I killed him."

"Was Irving-?"

"Irving is perfectly fine up in the Harrowing Chamber with Ser Cullen watching him."

Aedan nods, patting my shoulder. "I'll drink to that once we're out of here." He starts after her at a jog, saying, "Go get Alistair when we're done here! I'll get Wynne and Leliana after dealing with the last demon."

"Got it," I say as he changes back to the golem. He hurls another chunk of the ground at the door, revealing a very nasty looking ogre. My muscles tense as Aedan charges at it, the ground shaking. The spirit casts spells on the demon, blasting it back several feet with help from Aedan's fists. I just stand here, eyes wide in confusion. I'm not sure why I'm confused, either. I just am.

"Move!" the spirit shouts.

I blink stupidly, wondering what in the Maker's name made me freeze up like that. I don't pause to consider though, instead jumping out of the way of a pinkish-colored fist. Aedan hurls a rock at the ogre when I turn back. It staggers and stumbles, disoriented, but obviously not down. I get the semblance of mind to slap an arrow on my bowstring. For several seconds, I'm not exactly sure where to shoot it, changing between an eye and its chest quite a few times, before I scowl and release the arrow.

The demon-ogre...thing brings its hand up to its head a second too fast, catching my arrow instead of letting it hit the eye. I curse, moving before it can devote its attention to me. I circle around behind Aedan as he changes back to his normal shape.

"Elissa! Potion!" he says, drawing his weapons.

"I don't know if I have any!" I say. He scowls, cursing, charging at the demon while I sling my bow over my shoulder and rummage around in my pack. I find several lyrium potions, but-

"Please tell me you have one!" Aedan calls.

"Last one!" I shout back, flipping the leather clasp over. I bring the red liquid up to my eyes, making sure that it shows no sign of being old-a green tinge will pop up at the bottom of the flask-before rushing over to Aedan, depositing the potion in his outstretched hand. He retreats several feet while I take his place, resorting to throwing arrows at this close of a distance.

"Thanks," he says, rejoining me. I merely nod as I back away to shoot instead. You know, the arrows actually hurt more when blasted off a bow with a ninety-pound draw weight. Who would've guessed?

Aedan shifts into the form of a burning man, summoning flames the moment he can.

"Back!" Hope says. I turn and run to her side as Aedan casts a firestorm spell on the demon. The ogre roars in pain as it collapses, finished. "One step closer. Good."

Aedan turns into his human form, walking up to me. He embraces me, laughing weakly. I hug him back. "So you really killed Uldred? All by yourself?"

"Uh...I had Hope to help me," I say, pulling myself free from his grasp.

He looks over at the spirit, eyes narrowed. "How long have you been with my sister, spirit?"

"Long enough," she replies stiffly. "We need to move. Sloth is waiting." With that, she strolls off, waving her hand by a pedestal again. Another portal appears, shimmering as it focuses on the destination it will take us to. "Elissa, you and I will go through here if Aedan is determined on us rescuing Alistair. Aedan, you will go through this pedestal, as I'm sure you already know."

He gnashes his teeth, annoyed. "Yes. I am going to free this others and kill the last of the demons."

"That is satisfactory," Hope says, looking to me. "Come, Elissa. We must move quickly or your bodies will waste away."

I wince as I walk over. "That doesn't sound pleasant."

"No. It is not," she says, back to me. "After you."

As I walk around the pedestal, Aedan says, "Be careful, sis. I'd hate for you to be Tranquil."

I shudder at the very thought of it. "I'd hate to be Tranquil." Hope places a hand on my back, pushing me toward the portal. A purple hue outlines it, just as before, but now it shows a small, hilly clearing with children running around excitedly. "This is a nightmare?"

"All lies are nightmares, my friend."

I suck in a deep breath, nodding. "I wonder what this has to do with Alistair."

"We will find out soon enough."

"Right," I agree, placing a hand through. My hand vanishes within the vision, rippling along the surface like I broke the surface of water. "Okay. I can do this again." I close my eyes as I step through, feeling like I just walked through a freezing cold waterfall.

I stumble out onto a path, Hope not far behind. She urges me onward, into the small clearing. As I get closer, I see Alistair standing next to a woman and a fire. Jealousy drips through my body before I can stop it and Hope gives me a disapproving look. I scowl at her as I walk up to Alistair.

"Elissa? What a marvelous coincidence; I was just thinking about you!" Alistair says, voice filled with happiness.

I swallow nervously, eyes flicking to the children, who have calmed and are now watching me. "Who are these people, Alistair?"

"This is my sister, Goldanna, and these are her children. There are more about somewhere, but we're one big happy family now!"

More jealousy, and over his 'sister'. This makes me wonder if she's real or not.

"I am so happy to have my baby brother back!" Goldanna says, smiling at him.

"I'm happy to be here," Alistair says.

"Is your friend staying for dinner, Alistair? I could make that mince pie you are so fond of," she says.

"Ooh, say you'll stay!" Alistair says, looking down at me. He clasps his hands together desperately, eyes pleading. "Goldanna is a great cook!"

"Er...no, but thanks for the offer," I say. "I can't stay and you shouldn't either, Alistair. We need to fight the darkspawn and Loghain."

He frowns. "I don't think I'll be coming, actually. I don't want to spend my days fighting only to end up dead in a ditch somewhere." He backs up a step, looking at the demon trapping him here. She smiles at him, but shoots me an evil yet triumphant look.

"Alistair, please," I say, stepping up to him. He hesitates, seemingly anxious. "Aedan and I need you. We can't defeat the Blight on our own."

"I'm sorry, but I just can't, Elissa," he says, shaking his head.

Suddenly, I am angry. Angry at him for being this blind. Angry at the demon for holding him here. Angry with life in general.

"Do you not remember what you promised me at camp a week ago?" I demand. He narrows his hazel eyes. "You promised to never leave me, to never let go. How could you lie like that?! After everything I've been through the past two months, you think you can lie to me and get away with it?! How dare you!"

"I-" He shakes his head, blinking and groaning, as he holds a hand to his head. "I...I don't think I should stay here..."

"What?!" Goldanna exclaims furiously. "No! He is ours!"

She transforms, right then and there, into a hissing monster. Alistair recoils, looking surprised, but I just huff, glaring, as I pull my bow off my shoulder. "More demons, it seems," I say, frowning. Alistair draws his weapons though, smacking her with his shield, while Hope and I deal with the children. "I told you you should leave with me!"

"Well, I'm sorry!" Alistair retorts. "At least I'm not stuck here anymore."

"That's a good point," I agree, sighing, as I lower my arm.

"Demons," Hope says distastefully. "I hate them all."

Alistair starts glowing gold and so do I. "Wait, what? Where are we going? Alistair!" He reaches for me as I reach for him, but then he vanishes.


	20. The Spoiled Princess

I feel like I am being pulled a million different ways. My arm feels like it's being ripped off-again. I feel like the Fade is drawing and quartering me without the horses. All of my senses go nuts; I feel anything and everything; I smell a billion different things; I can see little dirt particles even though it is dark; I hear so many voices my head feels like it is going to explode. But most importantly, I can sense the darkspawn horde. I can sense them all the way from the Deep Roads.

This...this is not normal.

I slam into something hard in a rush, yelp, and push myself away. A growl surfaces from the gloom, but before whatever I hit can retaliate, I am sucked back to the Fade from wherever I was, deposited in the exact position I was when I disappeared.

I draw in a breath I wasn't aware I was holding, looking up and around before my eyes settle on the demon standing twenty feet away.

"Sloth," I say.

Hope appears beside me, crackling with energy. I step slightly away, afraid of this spirit still. I don't trust anything here except my friends. Spirit or demon, I don't care. I refuse to trust it. Nothing short of-

The air booms around me, throwing me off my feet.

"Ah," the demon says slowly, speaking as if in a trance. "The Warden comes. Finally." It looks down at me, sneering. "And the possessed already arrived."

"On your feet, Elissa," Hope says, grabbing my upper arm as I struggle up. "The others are coming."

"Fantastic," I mutter, accepting her help. I brush my armor off, jingling as I move. The ground is annoyingly foggy and that damned green haze is still hanging over the air. "I need to smack Alistair."

Hope snorts, unamused, as my companions begin popping up in flashes. Aedan is first, standing tall in his chainmail. Alistair follows, groaning still as he appears. Leliana and Wynne arrive at roughly the same time, looking around, obviously confused.

"Are you okay?" Alistair whispers as he stands beside me. I nod, eyes locked on Sloth as Aedan and him argue about how killing demons is better than the lies Sloth provides. Happy lies, I'll give him that, but I would rather have the real thing than that. As my thoughts go back to my own nightmare, I realize Alistair had been there, unkempt and looking like he'd been sleeping. In Cousland castle. That...that makes me blush furiously, but no one is paying attention.

"Fools!" Sloth exclaims. "Now you will never leave this place!"

My eyes widen and a ringing sound explodes in my ears. "You are weak, demon!" I fall to my knees, hugging my head, screaming as the voice and the ringing clash in my skull. Alistair shakes my shoulder urgently, but I don't respond, and eventually he goes to help the others with the Sloth demon.

Hope's voice screams in my head, shouting words so fast I can't understand anything she says. I am vaguely aware of Sloth shouting back, changing into different forms of different demons once they injure him enough. But I can't focus. Hope is screaming angrily, and since she is part of me now, her words double back through my head. I didn't notice earlier, but then again, she wasn't angered as much as now. I can't blame her though. I know the mortal world messes with spirits and demons alike. She's been exposed; of course she's going to be different.

"Watch out!" Alistair yells. I manage to get my head to respond and I look up, vision blurry from my eyes being squeezed shut as hard as they were. I see something fuzzy; a person, maybe?

I feel something slam into my chest, squeezing me so tightly I can't focus on anything else. My armor cracks under the pressure and digs into my skin. My bones feel like they're being ground into powder. It pushes on my skull, giving me a wicked headache in the span of three seconds. I feel blood all over, but that's when I see a stone floor underneath me instead of dirt. I see feet and a weak white glow coming from my hands.

What...?

The pain is totally gone. I feel nothing except a hunger that I've never felt before.

"Damn," Aedan says, groaning. "I swear if the inn's food doesn't taste good, I'm gonna die."

"The Fade makes anyone hungry," Wynne says. "It takes so much even for the strongest of mages, leaving you exhausted, thirsty, and hungry."

"No kidding," Alistair says.

I struggle to my feet, muscles burning in protest. My head still pounds now that I am standing. The glow fades and my eyes start watering. I blink several times in rapid succession to clear them as I rejoin the other four.

"There you are!" Leliana exclaims, relieved.

"Yeah," I say stupidly, wincing at the volume of her voice. "Damn it. I'm starving."

"It's not that bad," Wynne says.

"Have you ever seen a Grey Warden eat?" Alistair asks, smiling at me. I force the gesture back when I usually wouldn't have to.

Aedan snorts, saying, "Especially Elissa."

"Hey! I don't eat that much!" I say defensively, shooting my brother a glare. He grins wickedly at me.

"You eat more than Aedan and I combined," Alistair retorts, smirking.

I groan, growling, "Whatever." With that statement, I stalk off towards the stairs leading up to the next floor. Hope feels amused and part of me is glad that the spirit is okay; I feel like she will be helpful in the upcoming months and possibly, years. I hear them follow my lead, so I don't stop to call them on. Right now, both of the guys have successfully pissed me off, and I could do with not looking at either of them.

* * *

><p>Aedan has us leave the Tower before him, saying he wanted to find something for Morrigan and check on the mages before he went to the inn. During the conversation following our release of the Tower, Wynne asked for permission to join us, so she's sitting next to Leliana, looking at me with a confused expression. I shift uncomfortably, but don't look at Alistair for comfort. He's realized I'm mad at him and he's smart enough to keep his mouth shut.<p>

"So, Elissa," Wynne says, shifting her staff. "You are a mage."

"I am," I say, shooting Carroll a murderous glare when he looks back at me. He turns back to rowing us along immediately, unnerved. "What of it? Is that a problem, Wynne?"

She laughs, shaking her head. "Of course not. I was merely curious how you managed to go unnoticed by the templars as long as you did."

I snort and look away, smirking smugly. "I am the reason there were no templars at the Highever Chantry."

"Surely Teyrn Cousland does not protect all his people that much," Wynne says, evidently far more confounded since the start of the conversation. My expression sours and she shakes her head, adding, "I aplogize if I offended you. It was not my intention."

"You didn't," I say. "He didn't protect his people that much. As a matter of fact, mother always said he had a distaste for mages until Aedan and I came along." I scowl, eyes narrowed on a star overhead. "It was always an insult to our family's bloodline that I was born a mage when we've had no evidence there was ever magic there." I fidget with my hands while I talk. "I was the perfect daughter up until I showed my magical abilities, and from there on out, father was always more hushed when speaking to me and always looked at me like I was nothing more than the common people he loved so dearly. Some days I was sure he loved them more than I. The only time he could tolerate looking at me without frowning was when I didn't have a lesson with my tutor." I run a hand through my hair, blinking back tears. "It still hurt when I saw him dying on the floor in our home. He never mistreated me, but I got the feeling he was disappointed by my magic. I know he loved me and all, but it still hurt. It hurt when I saw the look on his face when mother told him. It hurt when he would be upset that I casted a spell wrong and ruined something. It hurt even more when I watched him bleed out."

"You are...Teyrn Cousland's daughter?" Wynne asks, eyes wide.

"It's just a name now," I say. "I am a Grey Warden, and as long as I don't get hated for being a mage here, I'm perfectly happy with them." Alistair puts an arm around my shoulders hesitantly, but I don't resist. I put my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. The boat bumps against the dock a moment later. We file out, allowing Carroll to go get the man who actually owns the boat, before walking onto the dirt ground.

I look up at the sky, eyes narrowed. The stars twinkle brightly, and for the first time in two months, I am upset we are staying indoors. I have come to enjoy sleeping outside, no matter how uncomfortable it is. I like listening to the animals on the fringes of our camp, looking in on us curiously, and giggling when Wolf smells something he can catch. I never had this much freedom as a noblewoman, mainly because my father was a lot more strict with me than my brothers. But as a Warden, I've learned so much more than I ever could have. I found real friends here that don't care about my lineage. I've found people I can tease and make fun of while they do the same, and neither of us will care. Hell, I've even met a Qunari. Not that I've said more than three or four sentences to Sten, but he's respectable enough, attitude when he questions Aedan or me or not.

Alistair holds the door to the Spoiled Princess for all of us, following me in once the others are. It is a small place, few tables actually here, and a door is crammed up back with holes in it. I frown, unimpressed, and Alistair laughs quietly at my horrified expression.

"They don't have enough business here to care," Wynne whispers.

"I wish they did," I mutter, looking at the patrons I don't recognize. Our party members are sitting off on one side, watching the door and waiting for us to join them. Wolf is walking up to us, tail wagging excitedly. I appease his desire for attention before leading the way over to their table, pulling up a chair from another.

"How did it go?" Morrigan asks.

"Oh you know," I say, huffing. "Exactly as you expected."

She raises an eyebrow, a bemused look on her face. "With you and your situation, or with the Tower in general?"

"Both," I say, snorting. "Did you rent rooms yet?"

"Plenty," Morrigan says, nodding, as she finally notices Wynne. "Perhaps not. Who is this?"

"Wynne, this is Morrigan. Morrigan, this is Wynne. She's a Senior Enchanter in the Circle."

She snorts, just as unimpressed by her title as I was by the inn. "It suits her age," Morrigan decides aloud, getting up to go to the counter before anyone can say something. She converses dryly and quietly with the barkeep.

"Sten," I say, looking over to him. "You never did answer my question."

"About?" the Qunari asks in that rumbling voice of his.

I huff and roll my eyes, already exasperated with the conversation. "About what you were doing in that cage."

"Standing, as you observed," he retorts.

Alistair chuckles, saying, "So he does have a sense of humor after all!"

I snort out a laugh, covering my mouth with a hand, and Sten turns an icy glare on my fellow Warden before giving me the same look. I only laugh harder, but Alistair isn't very amused anymore. He looks positively anxious, like he is already regretting what he said. Alistair's expression makes me laugh even harder, so hard my eyes start watering.

"Did I miss something?" Morrigan asks while she passes out keys to rooms.

"Yes you-absolutely...did," I say between fits of laughter.

"If it makes you laugh this hard, I find myself glad to have," she says, lifting her pack before heading upstairs.

I look around, confused, but still laughing, as I realize she didn't leave a key for Aedan and never handed one to Alistair. For several seconds, I am seriously confused, but then my eyes go wide. That sneaky bitch. Since when the fuck does she play matchmaker? The hell got into her?

The rest of us wait for Aedan, but Sten ends up following after her with Wolf within ten minutes. Bodahn and Sandal retire as well, leaving Leliana, me, Alistair, and Wynne at the table alone. Most of the patrons either leave or start getting drunk, and Alistair goes up to get the lot of us drinks when Aedan hasn't returned within the hour. He drops four bowls of what looks like mystery stew on the table before going back for drinks.

"Um..." I poke the glob of grey...stuff floating around experimentally. "Are they sure this is edible?"

Leliana giggles. "Most likely not."

"Fantastic," I say, poking it again with my spoon. My stomach growls.

"Elissa, you are going to have to eat that tonight you know." Alistair slaps the mugs on the table as he sits beside me, raising an eyebrow. "Think you can go fourteen hours without eating something?"

"I have cheese in my pack," I say tauntingly. "And you, ser, cannot have any. I am still mad at you."

"What did I do?" he asks.

I slam the flat of my hand on the table top, whirling a glare on him. "Your nightmare! Exactly what I said to you!" Thankfully, Aedan chooses to enter the inn at that particular moment and I stand, walking over to him. "You can have my food if you want it. I did not touch it."

He raises an eyebrow, but nods, saying, "Thanks, I guess."

"Oh, and Morrigan took it upon herself to skip out on two rooms," I whisper. "Ask Leliana if you can stay with her."

"Who else didn't get a key?"

"Alistair."

His face reddens and his jaw clenches, but he nods. "Don't you dare-"

"I'm mad at him," I say stiffly. "He'd be lucky if I even looked at him."

Aedan laughs, nodding. "I assume that you are going to bed, then?"

"Yes," I say. "I'm exhausted."

Aedan pats my shoulder, smiling at me. "Well, good night to you, then. Be down here as soon as possible tomorrow, all right?"

"Can do," I say, walking back to the table with him. Instead of sitting, I keep going, though, taking my time up the stairs. A few rooms off to the left have light coming out from under the doors so I assume they are ours, and I try the closest. It opens for me, thank the Maker. I didn't want to check every single one.

The room is small, but actually well-kept and clean with a fire crackling away in the fireplace. Candles are set on the table and nightstands, making the room completely lit. I smile for some odd reason as I shut the door and begin unbuckling my armor. I arrange it neatly on the tabletop, placing my weapons and pack beside them. I rummage around for my waterskin, taking a long drag from it, and then set my Warden necklace down. Smoothing out the wrinkles in my loose clothing, I hop on the bed, sighing in delight at the feel of the soft mattress. It has been a long day, and nothing else beats sleeping in a bed.

* * *

><p>I am just throwing off the vestiges of a horrible nightmare, one where several demons came at me all at once, when I hear someone knock at the door. Blinking sleep off and rubbing my eyes, I trudge over, somehow enjoying the cool feel of the floor on my bare feet. As I swing the door open, I flick through who could possibly be knocking at this hour of the night, but when I see Alistair standing there awkwardly, I sigh inwardly. Of course it'd be Alistair.<p>

"What do you want?" I ask, yawning.

"Uh..."

I stand aside, holding the door for him. "I'm well aware Morrigan didn't get you a room. Just come in and let me sleep."

The blond man steps in, eyes locked on me the entire time. I shut the door and lock it, sighing, as I return to the bed. My eyes drift shut almost instantly, but then Alistair starts pulling off his armor rather loudly. I groan, pulling a pillow over my head, and he chuckles.

"Where do you want me to sleep?"

"The bed," I say impatiently. "Where else?"

"You, uh-"

"I did not say we were going to do anything," I grumble. "I'm too tired for that anyway." I push the other pillow over to the side he's going to be sleeping on. "So how was that food?"

"Dear Maker, Aedan is still vomiting," he says. 'I'm just glad I didn't eat any."

Sighing, I say, "You can have the cheese in my pack if you want it. I have other stuff in there. Mostly beef strips and apples."

"Oh, all right. Thanks."

"No problem, Alistair."

* * *

><p>The next morning, I wake up with a very solid and very warm thing pressed against my back. I start, but then realize it is only Alistair, and he has me pinned against him with an arm around my waist. A very nice, bare arm. I shiver, eyes going wide.<p>

I am facing the wall with a window, and see it still somewhat dark out, so I decide to stay here, enjoying the steady beat of Alistair's heart and the warmth he brings. He sighs, burying his face in my hair, and inhales deeply. I stiffen, eyes getting even wider, but he falls back asleep almost instantly. His arm pulls me closer.

Um...okay, then.

"I know you're awake," he whispers into my hair. I just sigh in response and he chuckles, a deep rumbling sound that vibrates through his chest. "Do you want me to move?" I don't answer, so he adds, "Are you still mad at me?"

"Hmm," I say. "Maybe. You have a pretty good chance at persuading me otherwise."

"Oh? And how would I do that, my lady?" I shiver at the tone of his voice and I feel my face heat up. I don't know how I can tell, but I feel his smug smirk in my hair.

"You realize how that sounded?"

"That was the point."

"And here I thought you didn't make sex-jokes," I say, closing my eyes.

"Only on Tuesdays," he replies, chuckling again.

"Ah, that explains everything, then."

Alistair openly laughs, sitting up. I look over my shoulder at him, but I get kind of distracted looking at his bare torso. He has scars, most of them new. Especially the one over his left side running up to his underarm. Other than that, they're all small and over his abdomen, the spot where your opponent is supposed to strike when sparring. Fereldans have it ingrained in our minds-stomach. Hit the stomach. It looks like someone got carried away when he was practicing with them.

I take a moment to realize I'm staring and then I blush furiously. I try to look away, but Alistair catches my gaze on his and he grins.

"You really are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he says, grin growing into a smile.

"You're exaggerating," I say, rolling over. He puts a hand on my shoulder and rolls me back over, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on my lips.

"No," he says resolutely. "I'm not."

I smile and sit up, lacing his fingers through mine with a lopsided grin. He wears the same lopsided grin as I do, eyes lit up. Then he frowns, and my smile fades.

"What?" I ask.

"I just...I was thinking," he says carefully. "We need to go to Denerim eventually, right? I wanted to uh...go see if my sister was there."

"The bitch that turned into a demon, you mean?" I ask, smirking at him.

"Yes, the bitch that almost ate your face off." I laugh, putting my forehead on his shoulder as my body shakes with the force of my giggles. He rubs my back, chuckling. "But really. Can we? I know where she lives and everything. We wouldn't have to do much more than stop in."

"We'll see," I say. "We already told Eamon to expect us soon. We'd better go there first. Then I'll talk to Aedan about going to Denerim, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," Alistair says.


	21. The Road To Redcliffe

_So guess who we'll be seeing within the next chapter? Zevran and his wonderful innuendo lol. Please leave a review guys? They make me smile like a young dwarf tasting alcohol for the first time xD_

Aedan made it abundantly clear that none of us wanted the breakfast Morrigan paid for last night, refund or not. He still looks a little pale, and Bodahn has him riding in the cart today. Leliana hangs around it, speaking to him constantly. Wolf lies with him, another to keep him company while I lead the group on to Redcliffe. Far in the distance, I can see a pillar of smoke rising into the air. It seems to be coming from the road, so I leave it be until we draw closer, heading off on my own to investigate. I find a pile of human and elven bodies stacked and burning, filling the air with the stench of burning flesh. I gag, covering my mouth and nose with a hand as I rejoin the others.

"What was it?" Alistair asks.

"Bodies," I say, eyes watering. My voice cracks and I scowl. "Built up and set aflame. I suspect darkspawn."

"Most likely," Morrigan agrees.

"We should keep moving," I say, setting off again. "If we are lucky, we will see Redcliffe tomorrow evening."

I keep the group going at a steady walk all morning, deciding it's time to stop around three. Aedan's fallen asleep, skin still pale, and we let him stay like that, although Leliana climbs in with him and Wolf, staying silent the whole time. The rest of us pass out rations to each other, munching on a rather bland lunch. I give Alistair my cheese, feeling guilty for being mad at him and because I'm not all that hungry, which surprises him. While they finish eating, I sit off on my own, staring at the blood pendant I wear.

Alistair's words from the Joining flash through my mind.

"_Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day we shall join you._"

I roll it around my hand one more time before using my bow to stand. I look back at my followers, talking and arguing more often than not, and smile. I lost a life to get here, but in turn, gained a new one. And a dysfunctional, whiny, hateful family that can't stand anyone but Aedan and I, but a family nonetheless. The thought makes me laugh. Alistair looks up at the sound, raising an eyebrow, but I shrug and shake my head. He smiles past a mouthful of cheese before going back to talking to Wynne. He seems to like her well enough. That's a good sign for him. For anyone, really.

"Ready to move?" I ask.

"Looks like it," Alistair replies, standing.

"Then let's go," I say, turning on my heel. I stop and wait several yards out of our roadside break-camp, watching for bandits and listening for darkspawn. Hope buzzes away contently, happy to be away from demons at the moment. While I wait, I unroll the map tucked into my belt, holding it up to see. I follow the road we are on down to the juncture leading east and west. I've crossed Lothering off, knowing all too well that the horde would have gotten to it by now. Amaranthine has also been crossed off, but I'm not sure why. I have a small town at the foothills of the Frostbacks circled with a question mark beside it. I've never seen that village on a map before, but I want to check it out sometime. Rumors were going around the inn this morning about a man selling a control rod to a golem in Sulcher's Pass, which leads down to the village, Honnleath. A golem would be very useful.

I hear the wagon begin moving, so I roll the map back up, tying it with a piece of cord, and tuck it into my pack.

_I do not understand, _Hope says.

I jump a little, surprised. She's been quiet all day. _What?_

_What is bothering you. I don't understand the blatant and pointless feeling of hopelessness. _

I pause, staring at the ground. I...I don't feel hopeless. Do I?

_I'm not sure I do, either, _I admit.

As we walk, I focus on the lake, searching the horizon for the castle. I know it will be quite some time yet before it is visible, but any shred of normalcy will make me feel better and hopefully pull me out of the slump I've been in all morning. Anything will do. Even-even darkspawn. Fighting would help.

I'm not eager for more bloodshed though.

I sense someone coming up behind me, signaling I've been slower than usual, and I pick up the pace, ignoring whomever it was. The rest of the party lags behind a little, but I don't say anything to keep them moving.

"So Alistair," Morrigan starts.

"Dear Maker," he replies. "What could you possibly want from me?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just curious if it was common practice for Senior Wardens to allow the recruits to lead," she says.

Alistair sighs loudly. "They grew up learning how to lead. It's smarter to allow them to take control."

_If your father wasn't afraid of having a bastard son, you would know how to as well, _I think, looking back at them.

They stop talking after that and there is only the wood turning on Bodahn's cart. It is a methodical sound, moving at the exact same speed at the exact same volume.

What a boring day.

_Short chapter :( But Zevran is coming, I promise!_


	22. Zevran Arainai

Aedan is awake just as we stop to decide who should go into the town. I automatically tell him no, saying he needs to recover, and tell Alistair, Wynne, and Wolf to tag along, leaving Aedan with Leliana, Morrigan, and Sten. They set up a camp with Bodahn and Sandal to wait for us to come get them if Eamon promises help.

There's another few miles to go when a woman runs up to us, speaking frantically. Alistair reaches for his weapons, but I shoot him a look and he relaxes, watching carefully.

"Oh you must help us! The bandits, they attacked my family!" she says. My eyes narrow suspiciously. Unless she ran all the way from Redcliffe itself, we should be able to hear something. "Please, please you must help!"

_Mage, _Hope warns.

"I...all right," I say, making a motion for her to lead us on. "Let's go. We'll help you."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" She turns, running back the way she came.

I look at the others. "I don't trust this. We're coming up on a ripe spot for an ambush and I wouldn't put it past any of our enemies to send someone after us. Even if she's telling the truth, we'll be fighting our way through. Weapons ready." Alistair and Wynne nod while Wolf just looks up at me, tail wagging. Warning said, I turn and follow at a jog, drawing my bow. My mabari paces me now.

We round a corner to find ourselves trapped from going forward, blocked by an elf with a tattooed face and several people on the surrounding hills. A cart is overturned and an ox lies dead, piled up with its owners.

"Move!" Alistair exclaims, throwing me forward. I hear a creaking noise and not a moment too soon, I'm several feet forward, lying on the ground, as a tree collapses behind us. My eyes go wide at the loud noise that follows. I check the nearby ground for my companions. Alistair is on my right, Wolf on my left, and Wynne is closer to the tree than us, but unharmed. Looking back at the smirking elf, I climb to my feet, grabbing my bow.

"The Antivan Crows send their regards," he says, drawing the sword and dagger on his back.

Wolf launches himself at the assassin, leaving me to help my companions to their feet. Alistair takes a considerable less amount of time than Wynne, charging the mage woman who led us here.

"You good?" I ask.

"Yes, thank you," Wynne replies.

Nodding, I say, "Avoid anyone that comes near you. Call one of us if you need help." Wynne nods, going to her staff, while I turn back to the fighting that has erupted. Wolf is focusing on the blond elf while Alistair fights his way up the path to one of the rises, the mage dead behind him.

Probably smarter to help my dog.

I run to Wolf's side, reaching up to kick at one of the elf's hands. He smacks the flat of his sword across the sole of my boot and throws me off-balance. I stagger back, tensing my muscles for what I know is going to be coming. He stalks after me, but I bring my bow around in an arc, aimed for his ankles. The assassin jumps away though and I jump after him, not seeing the flask of explosive powder drop from his hand until it's too late. My eyes go wide as it bursts, throwing me back and off my feet. I feel my armor dig into my skin as I slam against a boulder. I cry out, squeezing my eyes shut, and the assassin grabs me by the lip of my chest plate, throwing me across the ground.

"The Wardens die here!" he shouts. "Bring the man!" The elf rolls me over with his boot, planting his foot solidly on my chest so I can't move. The pressure there makes the torn armor stab into my back completely. I feel blood pour onto the ground in response. "Good. Kill the dog and the woman."

"Antivan shit," I snap past the pain. "Don't touch my dog!"

The elf snorts in amusement. "And what are you going to do about it down there?" He presses harder, making the ripped metal dig further into my torso. My eyes go wide as I feel something give a very painful pop. It's suddenly much harder to breathe, near impossible.

I look back at my dog, standing protectively between the remaining assassins and Wynne. "Get...Aedan. Go!" The mabari barks and the mage nods. Then they run back into the forest, dodging the fallen tree.

"Let them run," says the Antivan. "We've got what we came for."

"Elissa..." Alistair is gasping for air now, air I can't even get into my lungs.

I form a fist with my left hand, casting the spell immediately. I slam my glove into his unprotected knee, bending it out with the force I gain when Hope comes out. He yells, staggering back and collapsing. He hits the assassin holding Alistair and the Warden leaps to his feet, tackling one that had him pinned. I manage to roll to my feet, gasping and panting.

"Elissa!" Alistair exclaims. I turn to see him running to my side, the human assassin dead and the elf unconscious. "Dear Maker, you're bleeding!" He doesn't say anything else or wait for a response; he goes to the clasps of my armor, yanking the plate off and throwing the ruined armor aside, leaving me in nothing but my bloodied tunic. "I don't know what to do!"

"Go catch Wynne and Wolf," I say, heaving for air. "I'll heal myself and tie the elf up in the meantime." He hesitates, looking at me with a worried expression. "Go! I need to change out of this anyway!"

"Oh. Right." He nods, jogging backwards a few feet before spinning around and running after Wolf and Wynne.

Groaning, I twist my arm around behind my back, placing my hand over the wounds there. I let healing energy flow from my fingertips, sighing in relief when I feel air rush into my aching lungs. When I am done making up for all the lost air, I stand, reaching into my pack for that dress I had when Aedan, Duncan, and I fled Highever. I kick off my boots and the metal plates, pulling the garment over my head. I flex my legs, deciding on leaving my tight leggings on underneath before pulling my boots and shoulder guards back on. I find my bow, set it next to my quiver, and then reach into my pack, producing the rope I always carry. I set to tying the elf down when I feel a dagger press against the side of my throat.

"A Warden, huh?" the owner of the voice asks. "Zevran said nothing about killing other Wardens. Hmm." My eyes flick over to where the human had been moments ago, but he's no longer there. I assume he's the one behind me with the knife. "I suppose I could kill you. We'd still get paid. A lower amount of gold, I assume, but that's better than nothing."

"I don't suggest trying," I snap, hand tensing on the coil of rope. "I'd kill you first."

He snorts, pulling his dagger back. "After the display with Zevran's knee? I'm sure you could." I see a hand in my face, and I hesitate before accepting his help up. "Oh, you're one of _those_ Wardens. Figures."

"Do I know you?" I snap, reaching for the dagger on my belt.

The man laughs. "No."

"Then sit on the ground or I really will kill you." I point next to the assassin he called Zevran. "Sit. Now."

He puts his hands up, plopping to the ground stiffly. He sits cross-legged, watching the forest with a strangely stony expression. He never blinks his azure eyes, never moves. Just stares.

I keep one eye on him while I pull my quiver over my shoulder and pick up my bow. "What's your name?"

"I hardly see how that is any of your business, kid," he snaps, turning an icy glare on me. "I don't know you, and you don't know me."

"I know someone hired you to kill me," I retort, standing with a huff.

"Your regent, Teyrn Loghain and Teyrn Howe," he says, looking away again.

My back stiffens at the mention of Howe, especially with the title Teyrn before his name. "Howe is Teyrn of nothing."

"Oh? And here I thought he just called himself Teyrn when he owned no lands."

"His lands belong to the Couslands," I snarl. "We took it back a week ago."

"Did you now? Good for you."

I growl under my breath, annoyed, when Alistair returns with Wolf and Wynne. The ex-Templar's eyes go wide and his jaw drops.

"Cyrus?!"


	23. Redcliffe

_Note to all of my wonderful readers: this OC does NOT belong to me. My friend came up with him in a contest I had on Facebook. Nor do any of th OCs I introduce here, or in its sequel. My friends came up with all of them, so drop a review please, let me know how you like him and the next few that follow!_

"You know him?!" I demand, whipping around to face my fellow Warden. "He tried to kill us!"

"Tried," he pipes in. "Failed miserably."

Alistair nods, ignoring the man on the ground. "I do. His name is Cyrus. He's a Nevarran Warden." He looks down on the man, glaring. "He was here in Ferelden when he heard about the Blight. Duncan had hoped he'd come and help, but he never showed. I was sent after him, found him, and ended up bleeding on the road to Denerim. Bastard abandoned the Wardens." Alistair scowls angrily. "You left us to die!"

"In all fairness, it wasn't personal," Cyrus says, shrugging. "I had already left the Wardens. I find it incredibly boring to kill darkspawn all day everyday."

"It might be boring, but it's your duty!" Alistair snaps. I didn't think Alistair could actually be mad; I've never seen him like this. He starts forward, but I step between him before he can hit the Warden.

"Easy, Alistair," I whisper. "Easy."

"He _abandoned_ the Wardens!" Alistair says. "He almost killed _you_!"

"I know," I say. "But he still is a Warden. And he can help us."

"I'm not helping anyone unless I'm being paid," Cyrus says.

"You will take your life as a payment and be happy with that," I snap. "You'll help us defeat the Blight because it's the right thing to do. Understand?" He growls angrily, gritting his teeth, but nods. "Good. Now wake up your assassin friend so I can have a nice chat with him." The Warden grudgingly does as told, shoving the elf's shoulder so hard he almost goes flying. The elf starts, but yelps at the pain in his knee. "Tell me why I shouldn't kill you."

He winces. "Fix my knee first." Arms crossed, I stare at him for several minutes before I nod, giving Wynne my permission to do so. Once he is healed enough to sit, she backs off. "All right. Now what did you want?"

"Who are you and who hired you?"

"I am Zevran Arainai, Zev to my friends. I was hired by a man in the capital, a rather taciturn fellow to be honest," he says.

"Loghain," I say.

"I know not what his grudge would be with such a beautiful woman as yourself, but I do not carry it," Zevran says. "I offer you my services in return for my life."

My jaw drops, and then I start laughing. "You think I'd let you live? After you nearly killed me and my friends?"

"I was rather hoping," he says, shrugging. "What can I say? I am eternally optimistic."

I shake my head, sighing. "You don't feel any sort of loyalty to your employers? Not in the slightest?"

"No," he says, sounding surprised by the question. "Why would I? Their job almost got me killed, although I must say, dying at the hands of a lovely sex-goddess would not be such a bad thing."

I clear my throat awkwardly, glancing at Alistair for help, but he's busy glaring down at our captives.

"We're not seriously considering this, are we?" Alistair asks.

"Well..." Hope buzzes excitedly at the thought of letting them live, but I'm not so sure it's a good idea. Especially with Cyrus and his 'abandonment issues'. I don't want to have to worry about whether or not he'll stick around. And the elf...he sends off all the wrong feelings.

But I always trust Hope. She knows better than I tend to.

"On your feet," I say stiffly, offering a hand at Zevran. "Try anything and I'll do more than blow out your knee."

"Yes, ma'am," he says, somehow managing to make it seductive. I quirk an eyebrow, unamused, and look back at the Warden.

"You coming, or am I going to have to kill you, too?"

"I'm coming," he grumbles, getting to his feet.

I snort. "Good. We're going to Redcliffe, so-"

"Redcliffe?" Cyrus asks. "You don't know, then?"

"Know?" I look at Wynne and Alistair in turn, but they seem just as confused as I am. "Know what? Has something happened?"

Cyrus just laughs, shaking his head. "You'll see soon enough. Come on; I know a faster route there."

* * *

><p>I stand less than a foot back from the rogue Warden, Alistair directly behind me for support. We come upon a waterfall, and then a bridge, where a man in peasant's clothing stands. He has a bow and several bandages covering his forearms. When he runs up to us excitedly, Cyrus stands back, making it apparent I'm the leader.<p>

"Oh, finally! Someone's come to help us!"

"What? What are you talking about? We're here to see Arl Eamon," I say, confused. "What's happened?"

"Has no one outside heard?"

"Heard what, man? Come on, spit it out!"

"The...the Arl is sick," he says. "And every night, these...things come from the castle and attack us! We've barely the manpower to outlast them anymore!"

"What?! Who's in charge? Take us to them, now!"

"This way," the archer says, turning on his heel and taking us across the bridge. I glance back at my companions nervously, making brief eye-contact with Alistair. He looks afraid, like he's going to lose someone else. I won't let that happen. I've known Arl Eamon since I was born. He's my friend, and if he means this much to Alistair, then that's just even more incentive to make sure he's all right.

The man leads us down a hill, past the windmill. A few of the knights stand around it, watching my party with narrowed eyes and suspicious glares.

I've been in the town by Lake Calenhad quite often, and never before has it looked like this. Fortifications surround the local Chantry. Militiamen shoot arrows at targets by the front steps. No woman or child can be seen.

"Dear Maker," I say, shocked. The archer takes us past his fellows, opening the large wooden doors leading into the Chantry.

"This is not a good sign," Alistair mutters from beside me. I shake my head, afraid for these people, and for my companions. We will have to help to get to the Arl, but they all look so rundown and beaten that I'm terrified of seeing what's to come.

"Here, at the end of the hall," the archer says, pointing. "Bann Teagan is defending the townsfolk."

"Thank you," I say, nodding up to him. He nods back before leaving the Chantry to return to his post.

Cyrus snorts, an expression of disgust on his face. "These people need help."

"That they do," Wynne agrees.

I square my shoulders, breathing deep, before walking down the long hall toward Teagan. He's still in his finery, but a sword and shield are on his back, and he's giving orders to a small group of militiamen. Their sergeant salutes and they leave the Chantry in a rush, Teagan turning to watch them go. But then his eyes land on me, and an expression of sorrow overtakes his features.

"My lady Cousland," he says as we walk up. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't...don't call me that," I say, holding up a hand. "I am a Cousland no longer, but a Grey Warden, and I'd rather be addressed as such." His jaw drops, but he nods. "I am here to ask your brother for help against the Blight. We are rather lacking in an army, and Redcliffe's help would be greatly appreciated."

"As you can see, Redcliffe is in no place to offer assistance, no matter how much we would like to," Teagan says sadly.

"Which was why I was wondering if you would like for us to help," I say, crossing my arms. "I'd be more than glad to offer our assistance."

"Are...are you sure?" Teagan asks, eyes wide. "You don't even know what it is you are volunteering yourselves to fight."

"I'm sure none of my followers would object to helping those in need, now would they?" I look over my shoulder, giving Cyrus and Zevran pointed looks with a raised eyebrow. They make a show of looking around, whistling to themselves. I smirk, saying, "No? See? We're all up for it, Teagan. Just tell us where you need us."

His face is covered in relief at our agreement to help. "Maker, Elissa, you don't know how much this means to me." I shrug, motioning for him to get on with it. "Anyway, it would be a good start if you would go talk to Murdock, the mayor, and see what he needs. Otherwise, I only need you to talk to Ser Perth, by the windmill."

I nod. "Can do. I'll ask him about what's going on," I say, turning. "Take care, Teagan. May the Maker watch over you."

The Bann looks down, eyes solemn. "May He watch over us all."

* * *

><p>Done helping Murdock with the smith and the dwarf, we head up the hill to the windmill to speak with Ser Perth. Zevran walks beside me, which evidently ticks Alistair off, but Zevran is amusing, and it's funny watching Alistair blush when Zevran's words are too risqué for him.<p>

"Why do you stare?" Cyrus asks suddenly.

"I...what?" Alistair asks.

"At the leader," he replies. "Why do you stare?"

"Uh-"

I look over my shoulder, giving Alistair a saucy look before climbing up the steep hill. I don't need to check to know he is blushing.

"Ah," Cyrus says, chuckling. "Very amusing."

I choose to ignore that, instead walking up to the knights standing around the tall oak tree near the windmill. The knights take a moment to notice us, but when they do, they push one man forward to represent them.

"Hello," he says. "I am Ser Perth, leader of the knights of Redcliffe, at your service."

"I'm Elissa," I say quickly, glancing up at the sun. Close to nightfall. Murdock said there's been undead things coming out from the castle every night for quite sometime now. "Bann Teagan said we could assist you?"

"Yes," Ser Perth says, nodding. "Let me make this brief. My knights and I need protection from the Chantry, but every time we go to ask, Mother Hannah turns us down, saying it is not within her power to give what we are looking for."

"You want us to go talk to her?" I ask. He nods again and I say, "Don't worry. We'll change her mind."

"Thank you!" he exclaims, beaming. "I will be here if you need anything else, my lady."

Nodding, I turn to lead my companions back down the hill. Once we're at the bridge leading across the waterfall, I stop to speak with them. "All right, I'm breaking us up to do this faster. Alistair and Zevran, go talk to Mother Hannah about holy protection for the knights. Wynne and Wolf, go to Kaitlyn's house to look for Bevin. Cyrus, come with me; we're going to check the general store for supplies."

"What?" Cyrus and Alistair demand simultaneously.

"Problem?" I ask innocently, raising an eyebrow.

Growling and shoulders hunched, Cyrus says, "No, but why me when he so obviously wants to go with you?"

I shrug as I walk past the local tavern. "Who knows?" I feel them stare at me, mouths agape. "Come on, keep up!"

My voice seems to snap them out of their reverie and the rest of my companions rush to follow me. Alistair and Zevran turn away the moment we enter the town, heading for the Chantry. Wynne and Wolf follow Cyrus and I for a few minutes until they go into Kaitlyn's house. I lead my Warden 'friend' into the general store, lifting the door as I push it in. No torches are lit, but he pulls out a match and makes his own, lighting the rest of the small building.

"So what are we looking for?" Cyrus asks, the mocking tone I've come to expect gone.

"Anything I can use as armor for one," I say. "And something to help tonight. Anything, really."

"Understood," he says, moving off to search the far side of the room. I go to the counter, hopping it, and pull things off the small shelf underneath. I find a rather rusty helmet, but I'm pretty sure that's not what I want, so I turn and start working on a lock to a chest. Once I hear it pop, I flip the lid, rummaging around in its contents. I toss aside some heavy leathers, unimpressed, when I find a set of chainmail similar to Aedan's. I test its weight before nodding to myself, satisfied.

"Find anything?" I ask.

"Actually, I did," he says, appearing from a back room. "There are these barrells." He knocks on the side of one, grinning. The expression tugs at the scars on his lips. "They're full of oil."

"Set them aflame," I respond. His grin transfers to my face. "That's a great idea, Cyrus."

"I certainly thought so."

I nod, shrugging a shoulder at the door. "Meet me at the Chantry. I need to get into this before night comes."

"Can do." He brushes past me as he walks out the door, slamming it behind him.

Hmm. Seems the attitude is back.

I shrug to myself and begin removing my armor, setting it and all of my other equipment in a neat pile on the floor. Once I'm just in my leggings, I find my bloodied tunic and throw it aside, taking the one I found with the armor. I pull it on before I pull the silver chain overhead, rolling my shoulders experimentally. Fits good. Not too heavy. This should work for tonight. I finish putting the rest of the chainmail on, fiddling with the clasp to the shoulder guard for a few minutes, before putting my quiver and bow back on. I throw my belt around my waist last, grabbing a shortsword in favor of my dagger, which I shove into my pack with my dress.

I return to the small yard in front of the Chantry quickly, practically bouncing with excitement. I've never wanted to kill something as much as I want to kill the things terrorizing these poor villagers. Well, except maybe darkspawn. Those are pretty high up on my list of things that need this die. So is Howe, but I've got more important things to worry about. You know, like the Blight and the fact I just invited two assassins into our party. I'll admit, it probably wasn't my best idea.

"How'd it go?" I ask once I step into the circle.

"Mother Hannah agreed to give us amulets," Zevran says with his heavy accent.

"And we found Bevin," Wynne says. "He's returned to the Chantry and his sister's side."

"Great," I say. "Cyrus found barrels of oil in the general store, so we can bring those up to set the ground and undead on fire."

"Ohh, that sounds like fun!" Zevran says excitedly. "Who knew tagging along would be so much fun?" The elf looks to Cyrus, but he just grumbles something incoherent about knife-ears.

"Well?" I clasp my hands together. "Let's go report back to Ser Perth and wait until it's dark."

* * *

><p>I sit on the ground, back to the others, as I mix an explosive with the paste used to make fire arrows. I'm facing the castle, acting as lookout for the monsters.<p>

I shake the small vial violently, squeezing the cork in as I do so. I hold it up to the faint light of the moon, squinting at the green liquid. Deciding to test it, I stand, pulling my arm back, before I launch it across the river at the castle walls. The glass explodes all over the mortar and stone. The wall turns into a column of fire for several seconds until the paste-water dries up. I grin at myself before settling back down to mix another. I have ten minutes at the most.

I mix the powder and liquid with the paste, shaking the new vial just as violently as I did the first. While I'm holding it up to the rapidly disappearing light, I hear a grinding sound as metal gears turn and the drawbridge drops over the chasm between this side of the earth and the castle. I don't even realize I'm standing until I am. Lowering my arm, I step a little closer to the cliff, watching.

A green mist comes from the portcullis and I shout, "It's starting!"

"Elissa, get down here!" Alistair yells.

"No, I might be able to-" I stop short, eyes narrowed on the ramparts. There's...a boy, watching, as the villagers run for cover. His eyes glow purple. "Connor?"

"Elissa!" Alistair yells furiously.

_This is the work of a demon, _Hope says angrily. _What's with you and attracting mages?_

"Uh, hello? I'm kinda a mage," I mutter, reaching down to get my bow before I bolt down the rise.

"Draw them here!" Cyrus says. "They might go around!" I'm not sure how they could go around, but I turn right, pushing myself up the hill toward the wide-open gate. I turn into it, stopping to wait just before the turn to the drawbridge. I pull my bow over my shoulder as I wait. The mist comes around the bend quickly, but there's nothing with it. I take another step, but the instant it touches my boot, a sharp pain lances up my leg. Collapsing, I cry out, and that's when I see the creatures for the first time.

My eyes widen in horror. Dear Maker.

I scramble back, rolling to my feet with every ounce of strength in my body. I sprint back the way I came, limping most of the way there, the green mist on my heels. Only a few feet from the edge of the oil field, I slam the vial of explosive goo onto the ground.

I've never run so fast in my life. I practically leap out of the oil. I feel a rush of heat and a blast of hot air knocks me off my feet, but when I look back, the mist no longer follows me, and the beasts inside the raging inferno are burning. I climb to my feet, watching, as one of the things comes closer. It pauses just a few feet away, lifeless face the main source of the blaze. Its empty eye sockets are filled with fire and the rotting flesh melts off its bones.

Then it lunges for me. I barely have the chance to cast a shielding spell on myself as it throws us both back towards the knights and my companions. Its undead pals soon follow, leaving me to deal with the one clawing at my face alone.

It seems totally unfazed the blaze. Fireproof. These sneaky bastards are fireproof.

I slam my knee into its abdomen, and when it recoils, I kick it in the chest. It staggers back, almost like a drunk, but when it touches the fire, it comes right back out, throwing itself at me again.

It doesn't take long for the scent of burning flesh to fill the air.

The undead atop me pins my hands above my head, snarling. I feel the fire still burning on it through my armor and I know my shield is wearing off. I can feel myself weakening as my mana drains. I try to pull my arms free, but the thing is strong, and it holds them there with one hand while it pulls my shortsword from its scabbard on my belt. My eyes widen as the tip of the sword touches my chest.

Oh hell no.

I feel a surge of energy run through my body and I rip my arms free, slamming a fist into the side of its head. It flies off me, taking my sword with it. I shove Hope back the same instant. No one has even thought that Hope was actually a part of me yet. Aedan suspects and Wynne and Morrigan know. I don't want to tell anyone else, let alone the knights of Redcliffe.

I whip one of my arrows out as I race after it. It ignores me now, opting to attack the closest person instead. Alistair. We're dangerously close to the cliff. Alistair's back is to it, and the undead he is fighting is backing him closer to it. He can't fight both and pay attention to his footing all at once.

Holding my arrow in an underhand grip, I stop chasing it, but throw my arrow into its knee instead, effectively rendering it immobile. It staggers, trips, and crumples, dropping my sword in the process. I run for it, scooping the blade up, and walk back over to it. It shrieks up at me, but I slam the point of the blade through its heart. The sound cuts off almost instantly.

"Duck!" Cyrus yells at me. I glance over my shoulder for a split second before I drop to my knees, covering my head. I hear something smack into the ground behind me. I look and see one of his daggers protruding from the chest of one of the undead. Not a moment later, he dashes past, retrieving his weapon before following through with another attack. "Go help Alistair!"

"Right," I mutter to myself, standing. I turn, starting forward, but then my eyes widen and my heart skips a beat. "Alistair!" I take one step, but that's when the monster slams into him, throwing them both off the cliff.

That was the final straw.


	24. Knight-Captain Talith Carel

_So I won't be updating much after Friday, as I don't have school again until Wednesday, and I update when I'm not doing anything. Basically, don't expect updates when high schools won't be in session. And review please? They make me want to write more!_

The next thing I know is I'm laying in a bed, bandages all over my arms and shoulders. My head feels like it exploded and someone put the pieces back together.

"How do you feel?" asks a familiar Orlesian accent.

I groan as I sit up, holding my face in my hands. "Like I died." I rub my eyes, groaning again. "Dear Maker. What happened?"

"I'm not sure," Leliana says, looking somewhat guilty. "Aedan told me to watch you and make sure I told him when you woke."

"Then shouldn't you be-"

"I would," she interrupts. "But they went into the castle after Bann Teagan over three hours ago and have yet to return." Her expression darkens. "I hope they are all right."

"You're worried about my brother, aren't you?" I ask softly, hugging my knees to my chest.

"Yes," she admits.

"He'll be fine, Leliana," I say. "I know it." I rub my eyes again and my stomach growls. Dear Maker; I'm beginning to wonder how none of the Wardens were fat. "So uh...what happened? I don't remember anything."

"I already said I don't know exactly what happened," Leliana says. "All of their stories were a bit lacking in detail."

"Just tell me."

She clears her throat, looking away awkwardly. "Cyrus, that Warden you apparently insisted on dragging along, said something about Alistair-"

My eyes widen. Oh no. She must understand that I remember that much because she puts up her hands, shaking them. She says something, but I'm not sure what. I'm too busy working through it all over again. He...he...Alistair...I can't do this. Not without him. It's killing me already. I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on right in front of me. My breathing quickens and my hands ball up into fists, and that's when I realize Leliana is shaking my shoulders frantically.

"Elissa, he's fine!" she says, eyes wide in fear. "Alistair is alive and right outside!"

"Don't lie to me just to make me feel better," I snap, pushing her away.

"I'm not lying!" she says. "I swear to the Maker and Andraste herself, Elissa! I. Am not. Lying!" That makes me pause. I know as well as anyone Leliana takes her faith seriously. More seriously than many within the Chantry.

"You...he's okay?"

"Maker's breath, Elissa, yes!" she says, sitting back. "He fell into the water and managed to swim ashore during the fighting."

"I...I don't..." I look away, upset beyond belief. "I'm sorry, Leliana. I should've listened to you."

She gives me an indignant look. "I don't lie to my friends." I nod meekly because I feel nothing I say will appease her. "I'll go let him know you are awake," she says, getting to her feet. "And probably find something for you to eat. Maker knows you eat a lot."

I can't help but smile down at my hands, laughing weakly. I shake my head as she walks out of the small building we are in. I take a moment to look around, studying my surroundings. The far wall has a fireplace and it is lit. The door wall has a window, but the shutters are closed. There's one table with several chairs pulled around it. There are the same amount of bunks against this wall as well. I suspect we're using this as our base until further notice.

The door opens, drawing my attention over to it. Alistair stands there, shifting under my gaze awkwardly, but as I get up, my muscles give out, and he has to catch me to keep me from falling. I didn't think he could move that fast.

"You're alive," I say, laughing hysterically. "You...you..."

"I know," he says, holding me against his chest. "But I thought you were dead, too."

I pull back, raising an eyebrow. "You thought I was dead?"

"You weren't breathing for a week!" Alistair exclaims. "Aedan gave up waiting for you and went into the castle without us!"

"That's not right," I mutter, breaking away from him. "I-"

_The boy, _Hope says. _Demons are here._

My eyes widen and I look back up to meet Alistair's gaze. "There's one demon here, if not more."

"How do you-"

"Worry about it later," I say. "Where's my stuff?"

"Elissa, you're in no condition to go attack a demon," Alistair says, crossing his arms.

I whirl on him, eyes blazing. "That's my little brother in there. I am _not _leaving him where something like that can just reach out and...play with!"

The door opens. "Er...are you all right?"

"Yes," I say, composing myself immediately for the bard. "Where are my things? We need to go."

"Go?" Leliana asks, confused. She comes in and shuts the door behind her, bringing me a chunk of bread. "Go where?"

"To the Circle of Magi," I say. "There's a demon in Redcliffe." She points at a chest on the far side of the room and I nod, stuffing the bread in the corner of my mouth. "Out."

Once they're gone, I start over, pulling everything out and dumping it in a pile on the floor. Sighing, I pull my ridiculously heavy chainmail on over my head.

_Why the roundabout way to the castle? _Hope asks.

"Because as much as I hate to admit it, we'll need help from the Templars."

* * *

><p>I'm already not happy about this. The least the Templars could do is not stare. I marched in here and saved their miserable asses. Show some manners, dammit!<p>

"Warden," a Templar says dryly. "What do you want? The mages have already pledged their assistance against the Blight."

"I'm not here for the mages," I say, silently fuming on the inside. "I'm here to speak with Knight-Commander Greagoir, actually."

"The Knight-Commander is in a meeting with Chantry officials and the First Enchanter," the Templar says.

"It's important I speak with him now," I say.

"I'm afraid that cannot happen."

I step closer, arms crossed. I glare into his visor, snarling, "I need to see him. _Now_."

"You may not-"

"Baxley!" an elf shouts, walking from inside the Tower's doors. "What is going on? Who is this?" He walks up to his friend's side, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"This is the Warden Greagoir was telling you about, Knight-Captain ser," the Templar says.

I raise an eyebrow at the elf that matches my height. "You're the new Knight-Captain?"

His grey eyes narrow suspiciously. "What of it, shem?"

"Oh, nothing," I say, waving a hand. "I just have a problem with a demon in Redcliffe. Nothing you Templars need concern yourselves with."

"Wait," he says as I turn away. "What are you talking about?"

I freeze, back to him, and say, "There's a demon in Redcliffe castle. It's been sending undead out to attack the townsfolk for a while now."

"Bax, tell the Knight-Commander what's going on," he says after several minutes of silence. "I will go with the Warden to investigate this 'demon'."

Oh I already don't like this elf.

"Yes, ser," the Templar says, doing their bow-thing before going into the Tower.

The elf looks back at me, a blank expression on his face. "I am Knight-Captain Talith Carel, at your service, Wardens."

"Yeah, great," I say, starting for the door. "Let's get back to Redcliffe before my brother gets himself and half the people there killed." Alistair follows me to the next set of doors where two Templars stand guard. They step aside and my fellow Warden helps me shove the doors wide open.

Templars roam the grounds, watching the mages out here. They otherwise seem to ignore each other, or at least get along well enough. Children, presumably mages, chase each other around, squealing when they're caught by another. And all the while, the Templars just stand there, looking straight ahead with their hidden faces.

"Did you walk here?" Talith asks.

"We have horses," I snap, returning my attention to the task at hand. "Can you keep up on foot, or are there stables you can get one at?"

"I can get a horse," Talith says flatly, tone indifferent.

"Good. I'm not waiting for you."

* * *

><p>On horseback, we only take five or so hours to reach the southernmost tip of Lake Calenhad. We all agree on stopping to make camp once we are there, deciding to continue on to Redcliffe once the original three of us have slept a little. Alistair and I scrounge up some firewood while Leliana hunts and Talith sets up camp.<p>

"I don't like the way he watches you, Elissa," Alistair says.

"He's a Templar and I'm a mage," I say stiffly.

"I meant Zevran," he retorts. "He stares at you like a piece of meat."

"He's a hormone-driven elf," I say, shrugging, as I straighten. "You've known him as long as I have and he's been making sex-puns the entire time."

"That doesn't change how I feel about him."

"Great." I grab my bundle of firewood, and without another word, march back to camp.

Talith sits in the middle of four tents, carving something into a thick stick. I ignore him and drop the pile of firewood beside him, much to his irritation. He glares for a half a second before that damnable passive expression overcomes his features again. I turn on him, sitting with my back to him.

"You are a mage," he says, voice empty of emotion.

"Yes," I say.

"And a Warden," he adds.

"Where is this going?"

"I have often heard of Wardens turning to blood magic if they feel they need to," Talith says stiffly. "Is that true?"

"I don't see why not," I reply, pulling my bow off my shoulder and setting it across my lap. "That doesn't mean I am a blood mage."

"There remains something different about you."

"And there is," I say, looking over my shoulder at him. "But as soon as you give me reason enough to trust you with that, then I will."

"Fair enough," he says, shrugging.

I hear footsteps and turn, looking up. Leliana returns, Alistair on her heels. He drops his firewood next to mine before sitting beside me. Leliana plops down across from Talith and sets to work on the birds she brought back. He hesitates before he starts building the fire.

"Did I miss anything important while I was out?" I ask Leliana.

"Not really," she says, tossing aside a flap of fur. "Other than Bann Teagan thanking us and the townsfolk wishing you well."

"I'm not sure how to feel about that."

"You saved their lives," she replies with a shrug.

"I didn't do anything except get myself injured."

"You led us there," Alistair says, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"And got myself hurt after you fell off a cliff."

He laughs, shaking his head. "I don't know why I try."

"Neither do I." I sigh and get to my feet. "I'm not very hungry." Then I turn and go into my tent, sprawling out on my bedroll. Within seconds of closing my eyes, I'm asleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I am up first after a thankfully dreamless night. I saddle the horses, get out enough food for the four of us, and wake the others. I eat while I kick the coals around. By the time I am done, the three of them are dressed and eating around what used to be the fire. I sit on my horse, arms crossed, as I watch the surrounding area. Only when they're mounted and ready to go do I move, ordering my horse off at a gallop. Alistair's inexperience when it comes to riding is obvious, but none of us say anything. He's kept up the whole time; that's good enough for me.<p>

It only takes us an hour to return to Redcliffe, and I guess we could've kept riding until we arrived, but none of us wanted to sleep for a few hours, wake up, and go. It's easier fighting after being jostled around on horseback for an hour or so anyway. You're more aware, even with less sleep. Or I am, at the very least, and I feel like I'm going to be dealing with more than plenty of magic and demons today.

We dismount before crossing the bridge leading over the small waterfall, giving the reins to the man on watch. He takes them gladly, jogging down into the town with the horses in tow.

"So how do we want to do this?" I ask, looking at my three companions.

"I doubt we could get into the castle with a direct approach," Alistair says.

"We could always try that way first," Talith says. "The easier, the better."

I look to Leliana, but she just shakes her head and shrugs. "I see no other way than checking the gates."

"Then that's what we'll do," I decide, turning. I jog across the bridge and barely get my foot onto the dirt when my head explodes in a headache. I freeze, staggering, when the ground lurches and I fall.

_Now what the hell are you doing?! _I snarl angrily.

Hope just keeps buzzing, ignoring me. I scowl, massaging my temples, as Alistair helps me to my feet, a concerned expression on his face. "What's wrong?"

"I have no idea," I say, squeezing my eyes shut to block out any light. "I just...my head..." He holds me upright, waiting for me to find my words. "Headache. Bad."

"Do you need a healing potion?"

I manage to nod and he pulls one out of his pack, pressing the vial into my hand. I fumble with the cork, somehow managing to pop it on accident. I let it fall to the ground, too worried about getting the liquid down my throat before my head actually explodes. It takes several minutes of furious pounding, but eventually, my headache fades to a dull throb, and I give Alistair his flask, picking up the cork as well.

"Better?"

"Much," I say, nodding. "Come on. Let's get this over with."


	25. Connor Guerrin

We find the portcullis open for us, and that's when Hope decides to be noticeably pissed off about something. Her humming, which has been more like a buzzing since I woke yesterday, now turns into a frantic and offbeat screech inside of my head. I'm just glad nothing has attacked us.

Yet.

"This is strange," Alistair says once we cross the courtyard.

I snort, ignoring the annoying screams in my head. "That's an understatement." I pull my bow off my shoulder. "Weapons ready."

I jog up the set of stairs leading into the keep itself, the others on my heels. Talith is a little closer than I'd like, but he seems so intent, the way Alistair gets when his Templar stuff kicks into overdrive or something. I decide to ignore him and the creepy stare, checking Alistair to see if he looks similar, and sure enough, he does.

The guys push the massive oak doors in, leaving Leliana and I to cover them if anything bursts from the main hall. Nothing does, and there's a strange feeling that accompanies the loud boom as the doors shut. It sends shivers down my spine. The instant I take a step closer to it, I feel like a bucket of cold water was thrown on me.

"The Veil is thin," I whisper. "Almost nonexistent."

"Fantastic," Talith mutters, shrugging his shield off his back. He starts forward, but I grab his armored shoulder and pull him back.

"Let me go first," I say. "I have a strange way to deal with magic. It'd be safer."

Alistair snorts now, rolling his hazel eyes. "If that's what you want to call it."

I shoot him a look, releasing a very uncomfortable-looking Talith, as I take the lead, flexing my fingers on my bow. It's a short hall leading into the room where the Arl would hold court, and the sight I find waiting for me is not a pleasant one.

"At last!"

"Connor?!" My jaw drops and I start, but Alistair grabs my arm, holding me back. "What in the Maker's name is going on here?!"

Connor's eyes flash purple and for a moment, he falters, sagging forward. "M-mother?"

For the first time in several seconds, I realize we're not the only ones in the hall. Several knights stand guard, along with Teagan, Aedan, and everyone else. Wolf bounds to my side immediately, tail wagging.

"Connor?" Oh I hate Orlesian accents. Blech. Especially Isolde's. "Connor, is that you?"

Hope's angry screeches turns into an all-out war over control of my body. I completely miss what Connor says to Isolde and what happens, but the next thing I know, I've lost to her and she's incapacitating anyone within reach. After smacking Aedan with a blast of cold air, she races after Connor, who fled upstairs. Suits of armor attack us, but she deals with them easily, using my own knowledge of the castle to chase the young boy upstairs. The door separating the floors has been barred shut, but she kicks it in and sprints down to his room. That door is still open, and Connor is in the corner, shaking with each sob that wracks his little body.

Hope marches up to him. I don't need to think; I know what she's going to do.

Connor looks up, sniffling. "Elissa?"

My heart breaks. Don't do it. Please dear Maker, don't do it!

"Weak," Hope spits, raising my arm. Lightning crackles in my fist. "Abomination."

But then the lightning shifts into that fog I saw at Ostagar, and I'm yanked from my body.

* * *

><p>The Fade. Great. Because I love it here so much.<p>

"Get moving," Hope orders as I climb to my feet.

"Why am I here?"

"Because you didn't want me to kill the boy," she says.

This version of Hope scares me. She's not the same white, featureless human from the Circle Tower. Now she's that, but sending off waves of hate and fury. It comes out like a breath, rolling closer and affecting me just as much. My muscles twitch.

"Forcing it out would be much easier than the traps it is sure to have in place," Hope says, setting off without me. I take a step, but stagger and fall. She looks back at me, confused and annoyed. "Use your feet and move it." Scowling, I get back up, but I trip and fall again. She pauses another time, staring at my weak attempts to find my footing for a third time. I can't do it, and she seems to reach this same conclusion the moment I do. "I wasn't aware going back and forth like this could weaken you."

Groaning, I force myself into a sitting position, proud of myself for accomplishing that. "Well it obviously does."

"Obviously," she repeats indignantly.

"So now what?"

"I can either send you back without me or send us both back," she says. "The demon is holding the boy through the Veil, so we could kill it here and not bother him, and if I only send you back, it will cause much pain when I am drawn back to you."

"And if I say we both go back?"

"Then the boy dies."

That's not happening. "Then send me back. We all live this way."

She seems pained by this decision. "Elissa, you don't know what you're getting yourself into."

"I can't just let Connor die!" I exclaim furiously.

She sighs, looking defeated, before she nods reluctantly. "Do not say I did not warn you."

* * *

><p>I wake up on the floor of Connor's room. The boy is sprawled out on the ground several feet away, looking to be sleeping. I reach out and touch his hand, sighing in relief when he twitches and moans tiredly.<p>

And then my shoulder starts throbbing, followed by my head, and then my chest. It doesn't necessarily hurt, but it's annoying, and lying here, I can feel the pain begin squeezing. It feels like I'm being squeezed all over, like my bones are being crushed. I struggle to get to my feet, using my bow like a cane. I stumble, catching myself on the wall.

The boy moans, stirring weakly. I try to stand on my own, but my legs give out. It feels like they're not even there anymore.

_This is what you get for being weak! _Hope snarls.

I'm human. All humans are weak. What the hell does she want from me?

_I chose you because you're better than this! _

I'm better than nothing. I'm just as bad as the next person.

_Weak! _

Just let me die on this floor. I can't breathe. I hurt everywhere. There's a mage here somewhere, a hostile one. They must have cast one of those damn crushing spells on me.

_I warned you! _

Since when do I listen? I listen to nobody. Everything goes in one ear and out the other with me. I never hear anything. I daydream too much. I ramble too much.

My lungs feel like they're on fire. Part of me believes I can feel the Taint itself, slowly but surely shortening my life. My blood feels like it's boiling in my veins. I seriously believe my heart is being squeezed in the Maker's fist right now. I swear there's an invisible ogre sitting on me. I swear. It'd bet my life on it!

And then I'm floating. People are speaking in rushed voices. I faintly hear my name and 'dead' several times.

You know, if I wasn't wishing I were dead at this very moment, I'd find it grotesquely amusing that I always end up like this. I'm pretty sure there's someone out there laughing their ass off at this. I wouldn't doubt it.


	26. Snooping

_I wrote all weekend! Six chapters for you guys :D_

I don't think I trust Hope as much as I had. Yes, she warned me, but she doesn't listen when I freak out about something. She lost control of everything trying to get to Connor the other day, and it still took me too long to get through to her. Thankfully, the boy is fine, but that leaves us with another miserable task.

Arl Eamon is sick.

The demon controlling Connor had been keeping Eamon in a comatose state, but now that it's dead, Eamon hasn't awoken yet. Aedan explained to me over breakfast exactly what happened to the Arl, saying that an apostate blood mage had been hired by Loghain to poison Eamon. Isolde hired him as well, but to tutor Connor so he could hide his magical abilities. That didn't work, obviously. Connor tore the Veil wide open, leaving himself exposed and wanting for help. A Desire demon found him, causing all of the problems Redcliffe was having.

But for now, I guess I should pay attention to Teagan and what he is saying to Aedan and the others.

"The Urn of Sacred Ashes?" Aedan asks, both eyebrows going up. "You're joking, Teagan. The Urn is just a myth."

"Wait, what?" I ask, shaking my head.

Isolde sniffs, straightening her dress. "The Urn of Sacred Ashes is said to have healing capabilities. I have sent the knights out in pursuit of it."

I stare at her, mouth agape, before I start laughing. "You seriously have to be kidding. Andraste's Ashes? You want us to go find it, don't you?"

"Yes," Teagan says.

"This is ridiculous," I say, shaking my head. I back away from the meeting, adding, "I'll go through Eamon's study and see if he had been expecting something like this while you...continue with this." I spin on my heel, squeezing my eyes shut tightly in annoyance once my back is completely turned. I really don't like Isolde. She's never been nice to me, and after Alistair got a little more in-depth and told me the part she had in his removal from Redcliffe, I haven't been able to forgive her. I couldn't care less about her. Not that her being an Orlesian helps her case. I've found one Orlesian I like, and that's Leliana. I trust her, but she's the only Orlesian I ever will.

I shoulder through the door to Eamon's study, sighing as I shut it behind me.

_I am not sure I understand, _Hope says suddenly.

_Understand what, exactly? _I am already exasperated with her, and she knows it. I'm not even angry; I understand what being outside of the Fade could do to her, but how she acted with Connor...it set me on edge. Either she's becoming corrupted or she really has no patience with demons and the mages who consort with them.

_...Me, _she says while I walk around behind Eamon's desk. I trail a finger over the polished oak wood, silent. _Spirits do not show emotion. I have been. _

"And maybe that is my fault" I say, shrugging, as I crouch down, pulling open a drawer. "Wynne seems indifferent, or at least Faith does. Faith never does what you do. But then again, Wynne is much more mellow than I am. Maybe I give you a temper. Maybe we share emotions."

_It is possible, _Hope admits. _But your anger could twist me too much and push me into being a spirit of Despair, or something worse. Much, much worse._

I snort, pulling out a stack of reports from Ser Perth. I skim them, but set them aside, deciding they're useless. "Like what?"

_You do not want to know, Elissa, _Hope says. _Let's just hope there's nothing out there that could push you that far. _

I smirk. "A spirit of Hope, hoping? How clever." I get a somewhat amused buzz as a response. I toss an empty envelope out, sitting back on the floor for a moment. "How about we work on controlling our temper instead? We still have Howe to deal with, and I'm not sure if I could stop myself or you if we saw him."

_You are not as angry about that as you believe. _

"How wonderful," I mutter sarcastically. I get back up on my knees, closing the drawer I had opened. I open the small tray in the middle, right above where his lap would be, and my eyes lock on the necklace sitting there.

It looks exactly like the one Alistair described when we talked about his mother. The one he threw at a wall before Eamon and Isolde shipped him off after he met me. I'm not sure why, but I feel as if it being broken is my fault. I mean, if I had just ignored him like Isolde suggested, he might have stayed at Redcliffe.

Well, it's not broken anymore.

I'm torn between taking it to give to Alistair and leaving it. If I take it and the Arl recovers, he might not be very happy that I took something. But if he doesn't recover, Isolde will have his desk emptied of anything unimportant. If I leave it, then Alistair might never get it.

Sighing, I take it and shove it in my pocket, moving onto the last drawer. I sort through the paperwork, bored, when someone knocks at the door.

"Elissa?" Alistair says. "We're leaving for Denerim."

I get to my feet, redoing Eamon's desk before going out to join him. He smiles down at me and I return the gesture. "What are we doing in Denerim?"

"Apparently there's a man there named Brother Genitivi who has been researching the Urn, and Teagan and Isolde think he might have some leads for us," Alistair says. "And-"

I grab his hand as I stand up on my toes to kiss his cheek. "I'll go with you to see your sister. They can go have fun talking to a scholar while we go have fun with the awkward family reunion."

He grins down at me despite his blush. "Yeah, fun-"

"Ah ho!" Zevran exclaims. He steps from the shadows, chuckling. Cyrus follows, scowling. "See, my fine Warden friend? I told you something would happen!"

"I hardly think that counts!" Cyrus retorts.

I look at Alistair, but he seems just as confused as I am, so I look back at the two rogues standing before us. "Uh...what are you talking about?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," Zevran says, extending a hand to Cyrus. The human rummages around in his coin pouch, digging out a sovereign. He drops it in the hand of the elf.

"Damn elves," Cyrus says. He looks back at me, frowning. "So what's with the Templar? Morrigan says he's going to be sticking around for a while."

I shrug, leading Alistair past. "If Aedan wants Talith to stay, then Talith stays. After all, I picked up two misfit assassins after their miserable attempt at killing us."

"It was not miserable!" Zevran says, looking wounded.

Cyrus snorts. "Oh yes it was. Don't lie to yourself."

Zevran chuckles, saying, "If there's one thing Antivans know better than sex, it is the art of lying." He waves his hands dramatically and I stifle a laugh for Alistair's sake. "If I were lying to myself, no one would catch it."

I laugh, pulling Alistair around a corner and into the main hall. Aedan is sitting on the floor with Leliana, listening to her as she talks about something from Orlais. At the sounds of our clanking armor, they look up, getting to their feet when they see us.

"Sister," Aedan says. "We've come to a conclusion."

"About?"

"You," he says. I raise an eyebrow, confused. "You get injured way too often." He smirks at me, wiggling his eyebrows. I laugh, shaking my head.

"That's what the leader does though!" I say.

His expression straightens out and he gives me a questioning look. "And who said you were the leader?"

I smirk at him. I don't care if he tries to hide it; I can see the mocking amusement in his eyes. "Feel free to step in my place the next time someone tries to stab me, then."

Aedan laughs, patting my shoulder. "Like you said, that's the leader's job."

Smirking, I say, "That's what I thought."

* * *

><p>I miss beds already, and it's only our second night out of Redcliffe. Leliana is playing an Orlesian song on a lute Aedan bought from Bodahn for her. Talith is sitting with Morrigan-surprisingly-and Cyrus and Zev are trying to throttle each other. Both are losing. Wynne and Wolf are down at the river. Poor dog hates baths, but he reeks. Sten is watching the rest of the camp with a stony expression as he sharpens a greatsword Bodahn had lying around. Aedan is conversing with a man named Levi about something or other. Don't know where that guy came from.<p>

The only person I don't see is Alistair. He must be sleeping. I won't bother him.

Sighing, I get to my feet. I do another quick once-over of the camp and where everyone is before I drop out of my tree. Aedan jumps, scowling at me.

"When the hell did you get up there?!"

I shrug. "I've been up there since we ate supper."

Aedan looks down, shoots me another glare, and then goes back to talking with Levi. I walk across the camp to Bodahn and Sandal.

"Enchantment?" Sandal asks, clear eyes hopeful.

"Uh...yeah, give me a few seconds," I say, nodding. His face lights up and he starts clapping excitedly, hopping from one foot to the other. "Where's Bodahn?"

"One moment!" I hear him call.

"No problem!" I yell back. I turn to Sandal, pulling the small necklace from my pocket. His face scrunches up in a frown as I show him Alistair's mother's locket. "What do you think should go in this, Sandal? There's a slot on the back. It's small."

"Give," he says after a few seconds. He extends a hand, so I drop the silver piece of jewelry in his hand. Then he runs off to the other side of the cart just as Bodahn returns. He looks as his son runs past, somewhat less enthusiastic as he was a moment ago.

"Where's he off to?" I ask.

Bodahn shrugs. "What did you say to him?"

"I gave him something to enchant-"

"That must be it," Bodahn says. "What was it?"

"A necklace."

The dwarf nods, setting a bundle on the lip of his cart. He wipes his hands off on his trousers, sighing. "Well, miss, you'll just have to wait for a little. It's harder for him to-"

"Enchantment!" Sandal says happily as he runs back into sight. He runs right up to me, dropping the necklace back into my hand. I turn it over while he steps back, grinning like a madman. "Boom shield!"

My eyes narrow on the symbol etched into the rune. "Boom shield?"

Bodahn shrugs again. "The only way to figure out the boy's own runes are to test them." I wince.

"Yeah, not doing that for a while," I say. "Anyway, thank you, Sandal." I reach to pay him, but Bodahn interrupts me.

"Enchanting is free for you and your companions, miss," he says.

"Oh. Well thanks. Again." I smile at Sandal, who still looks excited. "Good night."

"Good night to you as well, Warden," Bodahn says, nodding.

I nod back before turning away, walking back to the fire. Aedan is now sitting here, whispering to Leliana while she plays. She giggles sometimes, breaking tune, but no one seems to mind. I sit across from them, raising an eyebrow at him when he looks at me like I did something wrong. I throw my hands up innocently.

"What?"

He shakes his head, sighing. Leliana resumes playing her lute. "So what were you getting enchanted?"

"Nothing," I say, grabbing an errant twig before poking at the fire with it. "Just a trinket."

Leliana looks up. "For Alistair?"

I start, throwing my twig up at Aedan. The smoldering part smacks him in the face. Good thing he doesn't have a beard. "What? Who said that?"

Leliana giggles again, brushing ash off Aedan's very irritated-looking face. "You just did."

"You know what, Leliana? I hate you." She laughs harder as I get to my feet and go into my tent. I hate it when people read me that easily. I don't even know how I feel, and there she goes, figuring me out easier than I can! Ugh!

I flop down on my bedroll. Staring up at the canvas roof overhead, I take Alistair's mother's amulet out of my pocket again. I hold it up, turning it over and over again and again.

_Boom shield. _

A small smile tugs at the corners of my mouth and I laugh softly, setting it by my head. Watch. I'll give it to him when we're on watch later. For now, I need to figure out a way to get back at Leliana for that one.


	27. Midnight Raid

I am the first Aedan wakes, and I go sit by a tree, watching the entrance to camp. Talith is returning from a midnight walk, yawning. Woah! Emotion! Well, a sign that he's alive, at least. Yawning isn't really a show of emotion.

I rub my eyes to rid them of sleep. Alistair gets the power nap first tonight, so I have to stay up later before I get my own. Aedan stays up for four and a half hours every night whereas Alistair and I cheat, allowing the other to sleep for an hour before returning to watch.

Alistair emerges from his tent, hair tousled, shirt wrinkled, and barefoot. He plops down beside me wordlessly, staring off into space. I raise an eyebrow, but he says nothing, just keeps staring.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He shakes his head, sighing. "Nothing. Just...a bad dream. Don't worry about it." He yawns, rubbing his face to get the blood flowing. Hmm. Don't usually see people do that.

"About what?"

"Nothing," Alistair repeats as he stretches. He finally blinks as he looks down at me. "How about you? Any nightmares lately?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Awesome," he says flatly, looking away.

I purse my lips, looking down at my hands. Something is wrong. Something is bothering him, but he won't say, and now I don't know what to do.

"Alistair." He looks down at me, one blond eyebrow raised. "What's bothering you? Do you want to talk about Eamon?"

"No," he says, sighing. "I'm just worried."

I shift, turning so I can see him better. "About what?"

He shrugs, yawning again. "It's just...Eamon really didn't want us to even be friends, and-"

"Eamon has no say about anything in your life or mine," I say.

"Elissa, I saw the way your mother glared the morning we left Highever," Alistair says. "Aedan isn't happy with us either. No one approves. At. All."

I huff, raising an eyebrow. "Does that matter so much to you? Eamon and my mother have no say over anything either of us do because we're Grey Wardens. Aedan is just being a brother."

"Still-"

"Alistair, I'm telling you right now, don't. Worry. About. Others. Okay? Let them think what they will," I say. "Changing someone's mind is the hardest thing someone can do, and we won't be able to change their minds about this. Eamon isn't even...awake, so worry about him later if you want, but don't worry about it now." I smirk. "Besides, I found something."

He sits a little straighter. "What?"

I pull his mother's necklace out of my pocket again. His eyes widen as I put it in his hand. "Figured I'd keep up with the necklace thing we have going." He laughs weakly, smiling. "I uh...I had Sandal enchant it earlier. There was an open slot on the back." He turns it over and looks up, opening his mouth to speak. "No, I don't know what it does. All he'd say was 'boom shield'."

"I don't think I want to test that anytime soon."

Laughing, I say, "That's what I told Bodahn."

Alistair smiles down at the small trinket, folding his hand over it. He looks up at me before sticking his hand out. "Thank you. I thought I lost it to my own stupidity and it's nice to know that you care enough to have remembered when you found it, but I already have a necklace." He pulls one out from under his shirt. For some odd reason, seeing him wearing my gift makes me feel all squishy inside. "You keep it."

My jaw drops. "Alistair, I can't accept this."

He smiles again, but at me instead of the necklace. "I want you to have it." He shrugs, grinning. "Besides, if any of us might ever need a 'boom shield', it's you."

"Pfft. What makes you think that?"

He grins down at me, saying, "Oh, I don't know." Alistair sighs, flattening out his messy dark blond hair. "But seriously. Take it." He doesn't give e the chance to say no again and he puts it in my hand, closing my fingers around it.

"So...are we married now?"

"I certainly hope not! Who would want to be married to you?" He keeps his expression straight, so I push his shoulder. He yelps, grabbing at the nearest thing; me. Alistair pulls me down with him. "Oh dear Maker. Get off. Ugh."

I huff, rolling my eyes at the smirking Templar beneath me. "You know what? Screw you." He laughs as he pushes us both off the ground.

A branch snaps and I start, leaping to my feet.

"What is it?" he asks, standing as quietly as he can.

I wave at him to get him to shut up. I hear it again, and that's when I decide to get my bow from my tent. That was much closer than the first. I rejoin Alistair, but he's followed my lead and gotten his weapons.

Nothing is more nerve-wracking than standing around waiting for something to happen.

Alistair walks up to the edge of the forest slowly, listening. I strain my ears, trying to find the sound again, and when I do, it's right in front of Alistair. My eyes widen. He must've heard because he backs up instantly, but that does no good.

You can't do anything to defend yourself from a mabari.

It blows both of them over, snarling. I don't recognize the kaddis on this dog, so I launch an arrow into its side before it can get past Alistair's shield. He pushes the dog off him, sitting up. His eyes are wide and he's panting.

"That was weird," Alistair says as I help him up.

"That never happens," I reply, crouching beside the dead mabari. I remove my arrow, running a finger over the paint on the dog's side. My eyes narrow. "It's fresh. This was someone's dog. Someone sent this thing after us."

"Who are you thinking?" Alistair asks, peeking over my shoulder.

"My guess? Howe," I say, standing "I didn't recognize it at first, but most of his men with mabari paint their dogs with that design."

Alistair nods slowly, looking back down at the dog behind me. "Now what?"

"I'm not sure," I mutter at his feet. I look back up to continue, but I see something move behind him. My eyes lock on an archer, another mabari at his side. He's aiming an arrow at Alistair. "Wolf!"

The mabari is alert instantly, and when he spots the intruders, he lunges at them.

The archer panics and fires his arrow at us. Alistair has started to turn around, but he's not going to get that shield up no matter how fast he moves.

Damn it.

I push him out of the way and cast a shield on myself just as the arrow smacks off my collarbone. I stumble backwards, stunned and coughing. That'll leave a mark.

Alistair helps me up, eyes narrowed in concern. "Are you-"

"I'm fine," I say, coughing. "Go get the others up. Now!" He nods, running back to the tents. I look back to Wolf, but he's already dealt with the archer and now he's rolling around, kicking and biting at the mabari. The painted one pins him, but before it can do anything, an arrow slams into its back. Not my arrow.

I look back, and see Leliana standing outside of her tent with her bow. She rubs her eyes sleepily, but otherwise seems fine. By now, the rest of the camp is in an uproar. Everyone is scrambling, confused, and half asleep as Alistair gets them up.

"Capture the Couslands! Kill the rest!"

I whip around, shooting an arrow in that general direction. I hear someone scream and I smirk, satisfied. If these are Howe's men, they should be smarter than that.

The camp explodes in sounds as the others come out with their weapons to match Howe's men emerge from the forest. They're wide awake and have armor. None of us have armor on, and with the exception of Alistair and I, we're all still sleep-rattled.

Maker's breath; we're surrounded.

"There, ser!"

Naturally I'm the first they see.

"Get her!"

Without blinking, I fire another arrow into the one who pointed me out. His armor caves around the shot as he stumbles back, clutching his chest.

Their new leader looks from his fallen comrade back to me, eyes showing his fury.

"Attack!"

The ring around our camp converges. Howe's men swing and shoot at the nearest of our party members, but they severely underestimate the giant cutting a swath through them within a span of two seconds. They locate Aedan quickly, and by then, they're focusing on getting to him and me. Wolf is at my side now, hitting anyone who makes it past my arrows, but-

Sweet blood of Andraste. Who the hell-?

I whip my head back and the person who grabbed me drops me. I turn, kicking out at him, but I hear someone coming up from behind, and turn to face him. I reach for an arrow, but I seriously underestimated the man who had been holding me, and he swats my hand aside, pulling my arm back. I scream as my forearm shatters under the force. He pushes me to the ground, kicking my side.

_Let me help! _Hope snarls.

I roll onto my other side, hugging my arm to my chest. _That's a bad idea and you know it. _

_You don't want any of these men to survive, do you? _

_No, _I admit grudgingly.

_Then nothing bad will happen. _

I'm going to regret this.

I feel my arm start healing, but I also let Hope free. Hope...Hope is not a happy camper right now. The second my arm is healed, she's fully out, but...I still seem to have some semblance of control.

"What are you?"

I get to my feet slowly, grabbing my bow in the process. I look at the man who broke my arm and the one beside him, the one that never got the chance to hurt me. My muscles itch. I want to _move_. I _need _to. If I don't, I feel I'll stiffen up until I can never move again. I reach for an arrow to sate the feeling, but it does nothing for me.

Fuck this.

I throw my bow to the ground. The two of them seem confused, but when I don't move again, they start forward, reaching for me. When one of their hands hits my shoulder, they get more confident, but that's when I decide I'm done goofing off. I grab the man's wrist and twist free, spinning around behind him. I yank up and his arm snaps. He screams as I kick him to the ground. Looking up at his friend, I see wide eyes. He's terrified. Of _me_.

Good.

My hand erupts in flames as I start after him, but he backs away, weapon gone. He hides behind his shield. His wooden shield. I just tap it before running off, letting his arm turn into a torch.

I look things over. Not all of Howe's men have gotten into the fight. Several of them are standing by the entrance to camp, watching for any who try to escape. Their leaders stand with those, leaving the people here to die.

Aedan seems to have the men fighting him under control, and Sten is right there watching his back. Leliana and Wynne have retreated to a hill where they can see better while being away from the actual fighting. Cyrus is darting in and out of everyone else's fights, vanishing into a burst of Shadows when he retreats to help someone new. Zev and Talith are protecting each other; Talith takes the hits on his shield while Zevran darts around and stabs the attacker. Morrigan is struggling to keep a horde of Howe's men at bay.

The only person I don't see is Alistair. I'm frozen momentarily, afraid to think of what might have happened to him, but then Hope snaps and urges me on. My dog follows me as I choose to help Morrigan first.

One of Howe's men knock her off her feet, sending her staff tumbling across the ground.

"Wolf! Help her!" The dog barks an affirmative before he puts on a burst of speed and tackles the man standing over her.

The ring of men look confused, but that's all Morrigan needs to get her staff back. Wolf finishes with his target before he trots up to Morrigan, stubby tail wagging. She scowls down at him and I laugh. She will never like that dog no matter what he does.

"Wolf! Stay with her!" I shout. The dog barks again, but my talking gets the attention of the men who had been focused on her. Their eyes narrow. Yes, because it's so hard to see someone glowing white. Idiots. "Look, if you're going to try and get me, why don't you at least show some manners first? It's not nice to stare." They look at each other before charging, but by the time they get to me, I've moved past them and over to Morrigan's side. She offers a lyrium potion, but I shake my head. "Don't need one."

She snorts, shoving it into her pack. "Then why do you insist on me making them?"

"Because Wynne needs them and so do you," I say. "And I need them when I'm not...this." I gesture to myself and she just nods with a raised eyebrow. The men regain their wits quickly enough. "Need me to stick around or do you think you've got this covered?"

"I can handle these fools."

I shrug. "Just shout if you need me." She rolls her eyes. I point at Wolf, tapping him on the nose. "Stay here and help Morrigan. Got it?" He barks before I run off. I run straight through the pack attacking Morrigan, freezing anyone too stupid to leave me be. I go to the two on the hill. Leliana is struggling to keep Howe's men away from Wynne and herself. One of them manages to get past and he raises his sword to strike Wynne down. She's in the middle of casting a spell and Leliana is preoccupied with a man who got up to her.

This is a mess. I'm making it worse. Oh well.

It was never going to end well. Not with Hope's assistance.


	28. Frolicking Through the Forest

Now that I've effectively made sure there would be plenty of men to spread rumors in Howe's soldiers about myself, I go around to check on the others. Morrigan is helping Wynne with the healing. She leaves the bigger wounds be; the three of us decided just after Howe's men made a run for it that I'd deal with anything major. Guess that's what happens when everyone figures out the spirit healer is an abomination with massive stores of mana.

I crouch in front of my brother. He's got a bandage over a gash in his thigh. Not necessarily a major wound, but not necessarily minor either. "Is it deep?"

"Yes," he says, gritting his teeth. "Greatsword. Stabbed through." Oh. Explains so much more now. Yeah, I can see why Wynne left this to me. Aedan hisses in pain, muscles tensing, as I heal his wound. Once I'm sure it's closed, I allow him to take the bandages off. "Thanks, sister."

I nod, wiping my hands off on my pants before standing. "No problem." I offer him a helping hand and he takes it. I pull him to my feet when someone screams. Aedan's head whips, eyes wide.

"Leliana!" He runs despite having his leg freshly healed. Sighing, I run a hand down my face before following. Wynne and Morrigan are standing over her, confused expressions in their faces. "What happened?" He whirls on me next, eyes blazing. "I thought you healed her!"

I throw my hands up defensively. "I did!"

"Then what's this?!"

"I have no idea!" I retort, pushing past him. He staggers under the force of my shove, but keeps his footing. "Let me see." Wynne moves aside, crouching beside me. I roll Leliana's shirt up above the wound in her stomach again. I yelp, eyes widening. Even Wynne and Morrigan look shocked and disgusted.

"What? What is it?" Aedan demands.

"Poison," I grumble, grimacing. I extend a hand to Morrigan. "Give me your waterskin. Come on!" As she hands it over, I look back at Aedan. "Get Zev and Cyrus. They'll know poisons better than us. Now!" He nods, running off to find them. "Alistair! Come here!" Once he's dropped whatever he was doing, he's joined us, a questioning look on his face. "On your knees. Put her head on your lap. You two, go find elfroot. We're near the Brecilian Forest; there should be plenty inside the treeline." Wynne is gone first; Morrigan hands me several lyrium potions, just in case. Then they're gone and Aedan returns with our resident former assassins.

"What do you need, my friend?" Zevran asks, crouching on the other side of Leliana. I shoot him a look and he puts his hands up innocently.

"What poison is this?" I ask.

His face scrunches up in concentration before he says, "Incurable, I'm afraid."

"What?!"

I wave at Aedan to get him to shut up. "Incurable? As in, 'Leliana is going to die' incurable?"

Zevran nods solemnly. Cyrus thwacks him, scowling. "If we can get her to a real healer fast enough, she might make it, but otherwise...we should just dig the grave now."

I sigh, running a hand down my face. "The elves aren't that far away, and we need their help anyway. They should have healers." I hand Alistair the waterskin. "See if you can get some of that down her throat." He nods and I look back to the assassins. "Is there _anything _I can do right now?"

Cyrus shrugs. "Get as many healing potions down her throat as you can. It might keep the poison at bay. But I'm not sure if we have enough to last until we find the Dalish."

"We will." I get to my feet, running a hand through my hair.

What do I do? Break camp and haul ass, hoping we find the Dalish fast enough? Or do I just leave my friend to die so I don't run us ragged?

"Break camp! We move!" I shout. I look down at Alistair. "Let Aedan take over for you. Come on." I wait for him to stand and join me before I walk off toward Bodahn and Sandal. They're watching expectantly as Alistair and I walk up to them.

"What can we do for you, miss?"

"Leliana needs to ride in your cart," I say. "She was poisoned during the fighting." Bodahn nods, having Sandal go clear room for her. "We need to move quickly. The poison is fast I guess, and she needs a real healer."

"The Dalish?" Bodahn asks. I nod. "We know where they are this time of year."

"Thank the Maker!" I say, smiling. "Thank you, Bodahn. You'll tell us how to get there?"

"Of course."

"Fantastic," I say, nodding. "We'll bring her over whenever you're ready." He nods back before climbing into his cart to help Sandal. As we walk away, I tell Alistair to go find Wynne and Morrigan and bring them back. Then I go and start packing my tent.

It's going to be a long trip. I just hope Eamon can hold on because if not, I just made the wrong choice. And it could cost Ferelden _everything. _

Even with the ox moving as fast as oxly-possible-yes I just said that-we still don't make as much progress as we could. It's been two days of praying to the Maker and Andraste and shoving potions and water into Leliana, and we've made little progress. The Brecilian Forest is in full bloom off to our right, but Bodahn swears we still have another week at this pace. Zev and Cyrus aren't sure if Leliana will last that long, and Aedan's temper is getting shorter with each hour. He's a combustion grenade. He will explode eventually.

New plan.

"Stop!" I yell over my shoulder. My companions do so gratefully. Even the ox looks like it's happy.

"What? Why are we stopping?" Aedan snaps.

"I'm getting there," I retort angrily. He glares, but I ignore him. "Look, we're not going to get there in time. If we continue like this, Leliana's going to die and we're going to be too exhausted to remember what we were doing in the first place. So, I propose a new plan. Alistair and I will run ahead while the rest of you continue at a normal pace, camp and everything. Morrigan, I want you erecting any protective spells around the border if you can. Wynne, you too. We'll see if we can find the Dalish and bring a healer back with us." I look at Talith, trying to look as serious as possible. "I need to leave you in charge. Aedan is in no condition to lead, and you have experience regardless. If we're not back in four days, you do your best to get to their camp. Got it?" He nods. "Bodahn, I'm going to need some directions."

"Follow the road from the forest. They'll find you when you're close enough."

I nod. "Alistair, let's go." The former Templar hefts his shield, slinging it over his shoulder, and joins me. Without hesitation, I lead him into the Brecilian Forest, hoping that the Dalish won't shoot first and ask questions later. I'm not sure who that would be bad for. Us, or them. Aedan might be upset now, but if I died, that would be the end of it. I'm not sure my brother could take losing someone else. Oren was his best friend, Oriana like another sister, and he was our father's son. He looks much like father did, or at least, that's what mother used to say. Now I'm not sure if you could mention him without her breaking down and crying.

I seem to be the only one who has moved past that night, and I feel horrible about it.

"Elissa?" Alistair asks. I must've stopped running, because he's beside me, and we're standing still. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I say, blinking and shaking my head. "Just...lost in thought."

"About what?" he asks as I turn left and start paralleling the road. He follows, but he's much louder than I am despite my armor being heavier than his.

"Aedan. My family," I say softly. "I keep thinking if Leliana dies that he won't be able to continue."

Alistair blinks, confused. "Why wouldn't he be able to?"

"Because he lost more when Howe attacked us. I lost a nephew, a sister-in-law, friends, and a father. He lost a best friend, a sister, extended family, and the man he learned everything from."

"I don't understand," Alistair says. "Didn't you lose everything he did?"

"No," I say, stopping our run again to look him in the eye. "I'm a mage, and almost everyone in the castle knew it. I was an outcast in my own home, Alistair. I've _never _had a family who loves me unconditionally. All I have are mother and Fergus, and neither of them are happy that I'm a mage even though neither of them will ever say it. They're the closest I've had to people who love me for everything I am. I've never had a best friend or someone I considered a sister or brother who wasn't."

"That...that's horrible."

"Not really," I say, starting off again, but at a walk. "I got past that massacre faster than the rest of them did, will, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm a Warden now, and I'm perfectly happy with that."

"So...you were saying?"

"Aedan has lost too much already," I say. "I'm afraid if he loses someone else that he's just not going to have it in him to keep fighting." I pick up the pace, settling into a jog. Alistair matches it easily. "Aedan is the only family member I've ever cared about as anyone else would."

"He's your twin, right? Of course you do."

"That's not even remotely why, but I suppose that doesn't hurt."

"Then why?"

"Because he's the only person I know that doesn't give a damn that I'm a mage," I say stiffly. "He's stuck by my side since we were born. Everywhere he went, I went, and vice versa. I am terrified. If he loses Leliana, then I'll lose him, and I don't want to lose my brother, or someone I actually consider to be a good friend."

"They'll both be fine, Elissa," Alistair says. "I promise." He frowns and I raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You said that Aedan's the only person you know that doesn't care that you're a mage," he says, frown deepening.

"It's true."

"Then why am I so willing to...care about you the way I do?" Alistair asks. "Why does Leliana say you're her best friend? Why does Sten talk to you? Why do Zevran and Cyrus trust you to let them live? Why does Talith leave you be despite that creepy glowing thing?"

I don't answer.

"We're your friends. Friends shouldn't care about whether or not you're a mage," he says.

I look up at him, raising an eyebrow. "We're just friends?"

His eyes go wide, but I manage to keep a straight face. "I...I didn't mean it that way, Elissa! I just...I don't-"

I put a hand on his shoulder and stop running again, smirking at him. "I knew what you meant. I'm just teasing you." I stand up on my toes and kiss him softly before running off again. "Well what are you waiting for? Come on!"


	29. Healers

"You still haven't given me an answer," Alistair says when we stop for water. I ignore him, gulping down most of what I put in last night when we found that river. Thirst sated, I turn and continue running, leaping a log in my way. I hear Alistair curse before he starts following.

_I still don't understand why you are afraid, _Hope says.

_Because I'm not ready to deal with what that means! _I retort.

_I thought all mortals wanted that. _

_Yes, but we're in the middle of a Blight, and no one knows who is coming out of this alive! _

_Maybe he could help you, _Hope replies. _Maybe that's what you need. _

_The _last _thing I need is someone else to worry about. _

_You already do, _Hope snaps. _Whether or not you want to admit it, Elissa. You more than like him. _

_Oh shut up. You're not helping, as usual. _

The spirit snorts before she resumes her humming. For once, I'm actually glad the bitch is just a humming menace in my head. Whereas I'd usually prefer if she talked or was just silent, right now I'm actually happy she hums. She's kind of there but not there at the same time, and no matter how much I hate her sometimes, she's my friend.

Maybe being a Warden isn't all that bad. I've got friends everywhere now and a misfit band of them at that.

And then there's Alistair, the awkward man who just told me he loves me.

Don't want to think about that right now. Distraction! Focus on something else, anything else! Pay attention! Leliana. Leliana needs help. Leliana needs help from the Dalish or she's going to die. Right. Repeat that.

I'll give him credit, it was really sweet and-

Damn it! Not even five seconds and I'm already thinking about it again. Ugh. I'd better find the Dalish because I need a...girly friend's help right now, and I'm pretty sure Leliana is the only one that fits that description.

This is a nice forest. Nice trees, nice smell, nice dirt, nice elf pointing a bow at us, nice-

Woah, wait what? Backtrack! Did I really just see an elf pointing a bow at me?

I slide to a stop, looking back toward Alistair, but I look past him, up in the branches. He stops a few feet away, panting and sweating, but otherwise fine. He looks at me and then looks up, eyes narrowed.

"What did you see?"

I wave him off, watching the branch quiver. I definitely saw something there. Branches don't just shake like that when there's no wind.

"Stay alert," I whisper. "Something is watching us." First words I've said to him in nine hours. "Come on." I hesitate before reaching back and wrapping my hand around his. He squeezes my fingers gladly; I hear his sigh of relief. I keep my bow in my other hand, more than ready to draw an arrow and shoot someone willing to shoot at us.

I pull him along at a walk, ears straining for the slightest sound. My eyes dart everywhere. This is the only good part that came of being an outcast; even though I wasn't supposed to go do much outside of the castle, no one paid me enough attention to realize I was gone. I spent a lot of my time with Nathaniel in the forests around Amaranthine. He used to be a friend, a real friend. I guess I lied to Alistair earlier; Nathaniel was my one friend, and now he's probably just as willing as Thomas was to kill me and my brother. But if I have to, I'll kill Nathaniel too.

After all, Rendon used to be like my uncle, and now I am more than willing to strike that asshole down.

Alistair jerks on my hand suddenly and throws me to the side. I don't have the chance to react. I hit the ground, but the instant I'm moved I start looking and listening for anything out of the ordinary.

I faintly hear a bowstring snap. So faint. I look back at Alistair, but by then, that arrow is already launching him off his feet.

Something inside me snaps as I scramble to my feet. "Alistair!" I rush to his side, but he's already sitting up, pulling the arrow out of his splintmail.

He looks up at me as he tosses it aside. "I'm fine, but I appreciate the concern."

"You're trespassing on Dalish territory, shems," a deep voice says. "State your business or we'll kill you." Something sharp prods my back. Probably a sword.

"We're Grey Wardens," I say. "We need the help of your clan."

He snorts. "Humans don't need our help, Wardens or not."

"But...Theylon, she said they're Wardens," a female says. "Our clan has an obligation to help Wardens during a Blight."

"I don't see any proof, Val."

"I have the damned treaty with your keeper's signature on it in my pack!" I snarl. "But this has nothing to do with that. This is a personal problem, and we didn't know who else to turn to."

The man, Theylon, snorts again. "This seems like a lie, healer. What shem comes to the Dalish for help?"

"Us!" I retort desperately. I whirl, standing in the same motion. There really are only two elves here. A young man without tattoos on his face. The woman has tattoos, swirling twisting ones that almost completely blot out her face. "Our friend is dying. She was poisoned during a fight, and we need a real healer to help her." I look at the older one, the woman he called Val, for help. She seems much more willing to offer assistance, and since he also called her 'healer' once I'm hoping that will make my life so much easier.

"You're not seriously considering this," Theylon says, exasperated. "They could be lying!"

"Or they could be telling the truth," she says, swaying slightly. "Let me see the treaty, child. Please. It will put Theylon's suspicions to rest."

"Of course." I help Alistair up first, glad to have the backup. He towers over everyone except Sten. Any form of intimidation, any at all, is a good thing in this situation.

I rummage around before producing the Dalish treaty. I hand it over, allowing her to scan it, before she hands it back, nodding. "They are Wardens, Theylon."

"You shouldn't leave to help them though! Who cares about shemlen?"

"I do," Val says stiffly. "And you should too, boy. Not all of them hate us." She looks back at me, smiling kindly. "I'll help your friend."

"Oh thank the Maker!" I exclaim. "We'll find some way to repay you. I swear. You...you have no idea how much this means to me."

She laughs, reaching up to pat my shoulder. "Do not worry about it, child. Just take me to your friend and let me see what I can do."

"But Val-"

"Hush, Theylon. You can either come with us or return to the clan and tell the keeper where I went," she says.

He sighs, groaning, but says, "I will accompany you, healer." He looks at me, sneering. "Lead the way, Wardens."


	30. The Werewolves

_I don't think I've had Elissa run long enough for this to come up, but she's an asthmatic, as you're about to see._

"We need to find the road," Alistair says as we run. Val runs surprisingly fast, easily keeping pace with Alistair and I. Theylon, however, seems to have a little trouble with it. Elves are supposed to be faster than humans, and here I am, out-running both of them. Sort of. Val is only a few feet back. Theylon is more like ten.

"That way," Val says, pointing.

"You know, it's amazing they made it this far through the forest, healer," Theylon says.

"Perhaps their Maker wants them to destroy the Blight," Val replies. "Perhaps the Creators are watching over them."

"Why is it amazing?" I ask, looking back at them.

"Because the werewolves are out," Theylon says. "They've been attacking our camp and our hunters nonstop since we returned to this place. The keeper believes it's cursed ground."

"Oh hush Theylon," Val snaps.

I hesitate before saying, "I thought the Couslands wiped them out long ago."

"Your noble family merely chased them south," Theylon snarls. "The werewolves still live, shem. Don't listen to the lies your people spout."

I look up at Alistair and he frowns, but neither of us say anything. Don't need to tell them about Aedan and I.

As we run, small branches whip at our faces, tearing them open. I get a cut just over my eyebrow. It's not very big or very deep, but blood runs down into my eye all the same. I wipe it away constantly, frustrated enough to end up healing it after the third attempt.

"Shouldn't be much farther," Theylon says. "We weren't deep." He is silent for a few moments before he adds, "The werewolves will be greater in number here."

"Great."

Theylon says something about jumping into the stream we end up pacing to keep our scent off the ground, but Val retorts with making the splashing noises. We'd make enough noise to draw any and all of the werewolves in an immediate vicinity to us. Then we would be killed or turned and there would be 'no more Wardens to stop the Blight'. Yes, there would, but in Ferelden, not really. Aedan would be gone and the Blight would spread unchecked.

We really can't die.

I hear a howl. Far to the east, but something tells me it's coming for us. We're out of the Dalish's hunting grounds. Here we are just asking to be werewolf food. I draw an arrow and slide it between my hand and my bow, keeping it closer.

"They know we're here," Theylon says.

"Good for them," I say. "Keep moving."

* * *

><p>Talith isn't sure what to do.<p>

Leliana has gotten worse, much worse, and Aedan is losing any semblance of control he had left. He stalked off over an hour ago, leaving his weapons behind. Talith had Morrigan follow because she can shapeshift, but she lost sight of him within the tangle. They have run out of water to give Leliana, they are out of potions, and Talith doesn't want to send anyone into the forest in search of supplies, but it looks like he might have to.

He pulls his Templar shield over his shoulder and grabs his sword, walking up to Sten first. The Qunari giant towers over him, but he doesn't let that deter him.

"Sten," he says.

"Elf."

"I need you to accompany Wynne into the forest," Talith says. "Find water. Morrigan and I will go on a search for elfroot."

"Fine." The brute grabs his greatsword from where he shoved it into the ground earlier. He walks over to Wynne and explains Talith's orders before they get the rest of their things and head out. The mabari, Wolf, looks after them, whining, but calms from Cyrus' touch. The dog seems to have taken a liking to the Nevarran Warden.

"You both need to watch Leliana and the dwarves," he says to Zevran and Cyrus. "We're going out for supplies. If you see the Wardens, just shout. Morrigan and I will be right inside the treeline." The two nod, taking up positions on the cart where they can watch everything. "Morrigan?"

"Templar," she says coolly. She's already got her staff and her potion-making kit, but she does not look happy about following him into the forest. He doesn't understand; at camp the other day she was more than glad to talk to him. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

"Yes," Talith says. "Come."

They walk off the road into the waist-high grasses, and then into the forest, into a mess of foliage.

* * *

><p>"Run!" Theylon shouts. "I see one!"<p>

Alistair grabs my hand and pulls me after him at a sprint, Val keeping up and Theylon somehow managing to run just as fast as the rest of us. We go to jump a log, but find our path blocked by a huge, snarling, furry man with a muzzle. My eyes widen and my heart stops beating, but the others get me moving, either with pulls or shoves.

"Right!" Theylon shouts at Alistair. The man pulls me in the indicated direction, and I can actually see the road from here. "Go! Hurry!"

The forest explodes in activity. Any animals that were out are now running as far away from us and the werewolves as possible. We crush branches and leaves beneath our feet, swatting at ones that threaten to hit our faces. The werewolves bark and howl, calling others after us in their hunt. Alistair has to let go of my hand to draw his sword and hack at the vines. Once they're gone, none of us can get out of the forest fast enough. We trip over each other to get out. Alistair and I land in a heap on each other while the elves somehow manage to keep their footing.

"Hrr, it's the Murderer's bloodline!"

"Move!" Alistair exclaims, pulling us both up at the same time.

"What are they doing?! They never leave the forest!" Theylon says. He looks at Alistair and me, eyes blazing. "What did you do?!"

"Run!" Alistair retorts, yanking me towards the road after him. "Come on!"

Murderer's bloodline. Can they seriously _smell _that I'm a Cousland?! Well that'll put a setback on just about everything.

"Which way?" Theylon asks.

I point. "West!"

Theylon pauses to help Val up the incline, exposing his back to the werewolves as they burst from the treeline. Oh dear Maker.

I throw Alistair off, loading the arrow I'm holding. I let it hit the brown one in the lead, sending it toppling over. It trips its friends, giving Alistair the chance to get the elves up on the road. I draw another, but only aim it at a grey one as it stands, snarling.

"Tell the Lady the Murderers are returning," it says in a scratchy but deep voice to the one next to it. "After them!" The one runs off, howling, while the rest regain their wits before lunging after us.

"Elissa! I see the cart!" Alistair yells. He's much farther down the road, Theylon and Val by his side.

"That's not helpful unless they're coming!" I respond, turning away from the werewolves to bolt. I drop a grease spell right on my own feet, slipping my way out. Once I'm good and clear, I look over my shoulder and without thinking, fling a fireball back at it. The ground explodes in a burst of fire; I only know because I feel a rush of heat.

Bet _they're _not fireproof.

I glance back, but those not caught in the blaze have gone around. Sighing, I shake my head as I overtake the other three.

* * *

><p>"Have you ever seriously made a real grenade?" Cyrus asks.<p>

Zevran laughs, looking up at his friend. "You have known me long enough to know the answer to that, Cyrus."

"Meaning no."

The Antivan laughs again, pulling a small silver ball from his pocket. "Then what is this?"

Cyrus frowns, snatching it from the elf. He tosses it up and catches it before looking back at the other, raising an eyebrow. Zevran laughs even harder, shaking his head. Cyrus holds it up. "A lie, that's what."

"Life is a lie," Zev replies.

"Sadly," Cyrus agrees, sighing. "So why haven't you tried to sleep with anyone here?"

"There's a trick to it," Zevran says. "You see, Leliana is far too close with Aedan for me to be dumb enough to try. Morrigan rebukes me every time. Wynne is too old for my tastes."

"And Elissa?"

"Never sleep with an abomination," Zevran says, chuckling.

Cyrus snorts. "I've seen you try men. Don't tell me nobody has caught your attention."

"Oh, alas, I have tried our handsome counterparts, but none of them have gone for it," he says, shaking his head in mock sadness. "Aedan doesn't do it for me nor does Sten. Talith is far too silent and emotionless for my taste. Alistair is perfect, but once again-"

"The boss lady's the problem," Cyrus says, laughing.

"My one rule in life: never come between an abomination and whatever it fancies," Zevran says, looking up the road. His eyes land on a burst of fire that looks as wide as the road, and the people running from it. "What is that?"

"What's what?" Cyrus turns, looking in the same direction, frowning. "Looks like some idiots set the ground on fire. What else? It won't spread this far; there's not enough grass for it. Don't worry about it."

"I don't like it," Zevran replies. "Do you not hear the barking? I'm going to see what it is."

"Have fun with that."

* * *

><p>I feel claws hit my back and I let Hope free instantly, whipping around in a blur to jump and kick the werewolf in the face. I shove her back the same moment, jogging back a few steps before turning and bolting after the others.<p>

"Zevran!" Alistair yells. I look up, eyes widening on the elf as he jogs up to my companions.

"What is going on?" he asks as I join them. "Elissa?"

"Werewolves," I pant, doubling over. "Don't...ask. Just-run."

"They're coming!" Theylon exclaims. "Val, we need to go!"

I straighten, forcing my legs to start sprinting again. "Where...did the others...go?"

"Into the forest," Zevran says, running alongside me. "We ran out of supplies this morning."

"Fan...tastic," I say, voice cracking on the last half of the word. "Found...healer." I wave at Val weakly, too exhausted to do much more. Alistair sighs, grabbing my hand to keep me upright. My running turns into a stagger.

_You can't keep running, _Hope says.

_Can't...breathe..._

I stagger again before tripping and falling. My lungs heave, but I can't get any air, and all I hear are wheezes while Alistair tries to get me on my feet. My heart thunders in my head and everything spins. I suck in a huge breath, but my chest just rumbles and I barely get a mouthful of air in. All of my muscles hurt, especially the ones in my legs. I feel like I ripped them to pieces.

"Pick her up!" Alistair snaps. "Help me!"

My eyes drift shut. I'm moving, moving, moving, bouncing, being set down, and left. Someone taps on my collarbone and I feel a rush of air fill my lungs, but not nearly enough. The wheezing is still there, making breathing painful. My head still throbs. My heart still pounds harder than it should.

Of all the times for this to happen!

"Open your eyes for me, Warden," a voice says. "It will help me."

Lazily, I tear my eyelids open, trying to focus on the woman crouching in front of me. She is smiling faintly, for my benefit, as she tries to force water down my throat. I take the waterskin from her. I refuse to look as weak as you do when someone is getting a drink down your throat for you.

"Better?" the elf asks.

I nod, handing it back. "What did you do? To make it easier for me to breathe, I mean."

She just smiles. "Where is your poisoned friend?"

"In the cart," I say, pointing at it. Whoever moved me moved me away from the road, where the men are fighting with the werewolves. Cyrus has joined them, and is busy kicking one in multiple places. "I should go with you."

"Nonsense," Val says. "You need to recover."

"I can breathe. That's good enough for me," I say stiffly, getting up. I sway on my feet, legs still uncooperative, and decide to drink a lyrium potion. It helps little, but that little bit makes me able to run, and I do, leading Val over to the cart. Bodahn and Sandal are in it with Leliana, both holding shortswords. Better than nothing, I guess.

Bodahn looks back at the fighting while I climb into the cart, Val on my heels. "There's a mark on her stomach, but we healed the wound it came from."

"Good," she says, nodding as she rolls Leliana's shirt up. She winces. "Do you have elfroot?"

Just as she says it, a bag full of the leaves bounces into the cart, but not before it bounces off my head. Scowling, I look over my shoulder, but Morrigan just shrugs, laughing as she follows Talith to the fighting.

"We do now," I grumble, passing it to her.

I hear someone cry out. I look up, searching. Not Alistair. Please not Alistair.

I don't see him.

"I have to help," I say. I pull my bow over my shoulder and reach for Aedan's sword and shield. These are as old as the Couslands themselves. The werewolves will recognize these. Good. Maybe they'll run for it. Maybe they'll kill me too.

Val grabs my wrist. "You need to rest."

"No!" I throw her off before jumping out of the cart. "Worry about her. She needs help more than I do."

_You won't last long without me. _

_Watch me, Hope. _

I shove the family sword through my belt so I can tighten the shield straps on my forearm. Then I draw the sword again and start off at a jog, taking measured breaths. I make sure to fill my lungs with each one, and when I get on the edge of the fighting, I look for him again, but I still don't see him.

There goes any sense of control over Hope.


	31. Abomination and Love

_Review pleaseeeeeeeee *hopeful eyes* I love the fact that you guys like the story so far, and am very thankful for all the wonderful reviews I've gotten so far! And you guests NEED ACCOUNTS so I can reply to them. PM me or review if something doesn't make sense. Like my autocorrect errors. Because autocrorrect is so awesome. _

I swear to the Maker, if I ever lose control over Hope again I might just tell Talith to march me back to the Circle and make me Tranquil. I almost killed Alistair this time. He got way too close after the werewolves were dead too soon. If I'd had five minutes, maybe he wouldn't need new armor. Maybe Wynne wouldn't be out of lyrium potions. Maybe I wouldn't hate myself.

I am an abomination, and I deserve to be killed. That's all I deserve. Ferelden would be better off if I died during Howe's raid.

"Hey."

I look over my shoulder to see my brother standing there, arms crossed. I look away, back out to the plains. "Hello."

Aedan sits beside me, sighing. "I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize?" I snort. "I don't need an apology for anything. I don't deserve them. I'm nothing more than an abomination."

"No you're not," Aedan says.

"I almost killed Alistair!" I exclaim, throwing my hands up. "How would you feel if you were in my place and you almost killed Leliana?"

He looks away, squinting up at the stars. "I already felt that, and it's horrible."

I scoff. "You never hurt her."

"It's my fault she got poisoned," he says softly. "I could've let Wynne fend for herself, but I didn't. I killed the man attacking her and by the time I went back for Leliana, she was already hurt. It's my fault."

"No it's not."

"Then how is it your fault you hurt Alistair?"

"Because I can control that thing, and I let it get the best of me!" I snap. "I _let _Hope help me. I let her out so I wouldn't have to worry about having a fit in the middle of that fight. And I haven't even attempted explaining her to the lot of you, so Alistair didn't even know I might hurt him! He never had a warning. None of you have. I'm like a grenade. I'll explode sometime and then I'll hurt someone I don't mean to."

"Then maybe you should try explaining," Aedan says.

"There's no point to it. You all know everything I know," I mutter. "The only thing I know is that I might lose it and go on a rampage. I don't know why Hope is here, why she felt I needed her, let alone why she becomes a monster when she's loose."

"Maybe Hope is a demon."

"If Hope were a demon I would look like the abominations from the Circle," I say. "Hope is a spirit, the strongest known. And yet there's no self-control in either of us. The only time there is, is when I willingly let her out and I keep control of my actions, but even then I risk everything. And if she comes out because I'm just too vulnerable without her, then it's even worse."

"I thought you said you let her out willingly."

"I did."

"Then why did you attack Alistair?"

"I let Hope out because I was too weak to keep her from coming," I say, drawing my knees up to my chest. "That's how I first found her. When we were hunting Thomas and I found you knocked out by Howe's honorguard, I lost it. I killed that man so easily...Aedan, I'm scared. Of myself. Of what I could do if I lost someone. If you died, if Alistair died, if Leliana or Wolf died..." I shudder, wrapping my arms around my knees that steady myself. "I wouldn't even exist anymore. Hope would just...kill everyone nearby." I hide my face, shaking my head into my knees.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I tense, preparing myself to smack Aedan's hand away.

"But we haven't died," Aedan whispers. "And I won't let any of us. Neither will you, and it's obvious Hope doesn't want any of us to die either. I won't let anything happen to our dog, to you, to Leliana, to anyone."

"If its your willpower keeping us alive, then that's great."

He sighs, squeezing my shoulder before releasing it. "What set you off today?"

"I couldn't see Alistair," I say, voice shaking. "I thought...I thought he was dead."

"You really do care about him, don't you?" Aedan asks carefully.

"Not that I'm ever going to admit it to anyone." I hesitate before adding, "Yesterday he...he told me he loves me, Aedan. And I didn't know what to do about it. I just...I ignored him for a few hours. I'm so confused and stressed and..." I groan, flopping back on the ground.

"I knew that already," Aedan says, shrugging.

"You _what_?!"

"Yeah," he says. "He told me at Redcliffe while you were recovering from the thing that happened with Connor. He asked what he should do about it after I decided I wouldn't kill him for saying that to me." He shrugs again. "I told him just to tell you."

I groan, hiding my face in my hands. "So how is Leliana?"

"She's better," Aedan says. "Glad to be alive. Thankful for you and Alistair running off into some werewolf infested forest to find a healer for her." He grins down at me. "Only took you three days."

"It would have taken two if that stupid elf would've shut up and let us run all night," I grumble. "Didn't even tell us why until an hour before the werewolves showed up." He pushes my leg and I grunt, kicking out at him. He rolls out of the way, laughing. I laugh, too, smiling at my brother. I get to my feet as he does, allowing him to hug me. I hug him back, thanking any and all deities on Thedas for giving me my brother. "I love you."

He chuckles. "Love you, too, sis." Aedan pulls away, saying, "Can you do me a favor while you're on watch?"

"What is it?"

"Make sure Zevran doesn't get into Leliana's tent and vice versa."

"Why?"

"Because Leliana's stomach was hurting earlier and Zevran suggested giving her some dwarven ale he had."

"She's drunk."

"Yeah," he says.

"I'll check on her," I promise. "But why don't you just stay in her tent with her? She'd feel better and you wouldn't have to worry about the resident man-whore."

He snorts a laugh, covering his mouth with his hand. "I've already thought of that, but I don't want to make it seem like...like we were..."

"Oh dear Maker, you're as bad as Alistair." I push his shoulder. "Just do it. Who cares what others think?"

"Uh...her! Me! Both of us!"

I shrug, walking back. "One smart comment and you can feed them to the darkspawn."

Aedan rushes to catch up, laughing. "Is that your plan, sister?"

"That would depend on how mad Alistair is."

"Oh, I'm sure he won't be mad at you," Aedan says, patting my shoulder.

"What makes you so sure?"

"Let's see...he asked me to come check on you," he says.

"Good. Good good good good good."

"You're rambling."

"Of course I'm rambling. Is it noticeable? I'm nervous you moron! Of course I'm rambling. Oh I already said that. What-" Aedan smacks the back of my head hard enough to get me to shut up. Wincing, I rub the spot, but say, "Thanks."

"No problem."

"I'm going to take a nap before I have to get on watch. Tell Alistair he can come get me up if he wants."

* * *

><p>I didn't sleep at all. I just...sat on my bedroll, fiddling with my fingers nervously. I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to begin to apologize!<p>

"Elissa?" Alistair asks. My heart skips a beat. "Are you awake? It's time for our watch to start." Maker, please help me. I don't want to go out there. Maker no. Please no. I don't want to go out there.

"I'm coming," I say, voice dry.

I don't want to, but I will. Damn right I will. I need to make this right.

I get up, ducking under my tent flap. Alistair is laying on the ground, staring up at the sky, watching the stars. He cranes his head back, smiling at me. "There you are. I've been worried about you all day."

"Well...I wasn't happy with myself all day," I respond, sitting beside him.

"Oh, lay down will you? You're being boring." I raise an eyebrow, but he just shrugs. "What?" I just shake my head as I lay down beside him. He sighs, looking over at me, eyebrows knit together in concern, but I keep my face blank. "What's bothering you?"

I shoot him a glare, one strong enough that he cringes. "I almost _killed _you! What else?!"

He looks back up at the sky, expression carefully blank. "That means nothing. We're friends, and friends forgive each other."

My eyes widen. I can feel a sense of guilt and something else wash over me. Heartbreak? Great. "Just...friends?"

"According to you."

"Alistair, I don't know what you want me to say," I whisper.

"That you care. That you have feelings for me or not. I just want a straight answer."

I sigh, running a hand down my face. "It's not fair for you to ask for that."

"Why not? What exactly did I do wrong?"

"I don't want someone else to worry about!" I snap. "If I let you in, I'm just adding another person to the list of people Howe wants dead! I'm just making everything between Hope and I worse! If I tell you I love you, then I'm just making it worse! Every time I think you're hurt, she threatens everyone nearby! What do you think will happen if I...if we..." I sit up, rubbing my eyes. "She hurt you this time. She. Hurt. You."

"I'm fine."

"What if we don't have enough lyrium potions next time, though? What if she just kills you instead? Then what?"

"That's a lot of what-ifs, Elissa." He sits up, too, pulling me against his side. "If you're worried about getting involved with me, you're too late. I won't let you go, and you already lose to her anyway. There's no point."

"I just...I don't want to hurt anyone," I say.

"And you won't," Alistair says. "Today was an accident. It was my fault. I didn't listen to Morrigan's warnings when I should have."

"Morrigan...warned you?"

"Yeah. She told me not to bother you until you were done doing whatever you were doing, and I didn't listen." He pauses, looking up. "It was entirely my fault. You did nothing wrong, Elissa. I don't blame you, and I never will."

"So...you're not mad at me?"

"No," Alistair says. He smirks at me. "I find it hard to see your flaws. I don't have anything to be mad about, or to dislike you for. I...I love you, for everything you are. Creepy glowy mage or not."

I try to ignore the weird feeling spreading over my body. I try. I try so hard to not like him right there. I try to find something about him I hate, but I don't. I can't. There's nothing about him I don't like. His eyes, his smile, his personality...everything. And the fact that he had the courage to admit he loves me despite all his awkwardness and shyness...

"I love you too."


	32. Personal Questions

"Will you stop that?" Morrigan snaps.

Alistair looks up, face darkening instantly. "How about you shut up, witch?"

"I would consider it if the two of you would stop shooting sickening glances at each other."

I bite my lip to keep from laughing. "You can look over there. Or there. Or...better yet...there!" Alistair retorts, glowering. "I don't have to do anything just because you tell me to."

"Have you finally reached the rebellious phase?"

He huffs, but no one can keep their laughter back at her last comment, not even me, and all of us-except Sten-end up rolling in the dirt, laughing. Poor Alistair looks as embarrassed as ever while Morrigan silently pats herself on the back for winning their most recent argument.

"Feeling better, sis?" Aedan asks as he finally joins us.

"Much," I say, wiping tears from my face.

"Something must have happened last night," Zevran says. "They can't take their eyes off of each other. Tell me, Alistair. Did you finally-"

"Woah!" I exclaim, throwing a stick at the side of the elf's head. "That is none of your business, pal!"

He starts laughing, holding his sides. "I take it you-"

"We did nothing!"

"Better not have," Aedan warns, looking directly at Alistair. The Warden just shrugs, trying to wave off the comment like it meant nothing to him, but he's turned pink, all the way up to the tips of his ears.

"Poor Alistair," Zevran says, clicking his tongue as he shakes his head. "Ah, we must find you a good whore in Denerim." Alistair, who was busy shoveling a mouthful of last night's stew in, chokes on the lump in his throat.

"We...what?"

"You can't go into a relationship inexperienced, my friend," Zev says. "It's an insult to your woman."

Alistair fixes a hard look on Zev, obviously annoyed. "Elissa isn't a possession. She's a human being, and I don't really care if I go anywhere as a virign. I'll just remain that way as long as I like, thanks."

I'm not sure if I should laugh or be happy that he took my side like that. I glance at Aedan, but he's busy giving an approving look to Alistair, who's busy glaring at Zevran.

"Leliana," I say, talking loud enough to snap everyone out of the creepy stares. She blinks, whipping her head up from her food, which she's barely touched. "How are you feeling?"

She smiles. "Much better, thanks to you and Alistair."

"We didn't do anything," I say, shrugging. "We just found the healer. She's the one who fixed you up."

"I can't thank her, though, now can I?"

"Maybe when we get to the Dalish, then," I say, looking back down at my food. I look around the small ring sitting here, noticing that the only of us still eating are Wardens. Cyrus is actively scarfing down a third bowl while Aedan mulls over his second. I'm picking at my fifth, surprisingly. Alistair is working on his third, but the rest of our party seems just about done.

"You do eat a lot more than most Wardens," Cyrus says, watching as I look around.

"I'm not too fat to fight darkspawn, so I don't really care," I say, shoveling in another bite. Salty. Really, really salty, but I don't care. It's food, and that's just about all I care about.

"How hungry are you, exactly?"

"You've been with us for two weeks, and you still haven't noticed how much she eats?" Aedan asks. He laughs, shaking his head. "She eats enough to feed a horse for a month. In one sitting."

"Holy Maker," Cyrus says. "I've never seen anyone, Warden or not, eat that much."

I shrug again. "Is that a challenge, Cyrus?"

"What? Think you can eat more than me?" Cyrus asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I can."

"We're staying at Denerim overnight?" I nod, so he says, "Good. Then we will go be horrendous eaters at an inn tomorrow."

Aedan snorts out a laugh. "Elissa, if only mother could see what you've become."

"What? You got a problem with how hungry I am?"

"Nope! Not at all!"

I smirk at my brother over my spoon. "Good." I look at Cyrus, saying, "You're on." He grins, wiggling his eyebrows as he takes another bite.

* * *

><p>I turn, jogging back to the rest of the party. Aedan meets me, arms crossed. "Well? What did you see?"<p>

"That path is thin," I say, jerking a thumb over my shoulder. "I'm not sure the cart can fit up it. It drops down into a stream." He sighs, massaging his temples. "We don't need to cut time. We can go back around the main road and just spend another day on the road."

He shakes his head. "We don't want to risk waiting too long."

"So...what? We tell Bodahn to go around on the main road while we continue this way?"

"That or tell him to just head to Highever. Winter is almost here and we'll need to stay there until it blows past."

"Good point." I shrug. "It's up to you, then. I don't care either way."

He nods, waving me off. "Meet us up the hill. I'll send him to Highever."

"Sounds good to me," I say, jogging backwards. I turn once he does, climbing the fairly steep mound of dirt with my hands and bow. I stand watch, glancing between my friends below and the path to the right several times until Bodahn's cart rolls away. I look back at our way forward briefly, but when I check on my companions again, I find Morrigan standing beside me. "Dear Maker!" I jump, muscles twitching, and she laughs. "Damn it, don't do that!"

"I did nothing but walk," she replies, leading the way down the hill.

"Some days I feel like I hate you as much as Alistair," I say, following.

"If that were actually true, I am not sure the Templar would still be alive to begin with," Morrigan says.

"Oh joy."

Morrigan laughs again, saying, "I still might. The looks he gives you..." She shudders. "Repulsive. Utterly repulsive."

"I can't control what he does," I say. "I'm sure he does it just to annoy you sometimes, anyway. Quit telling him to stop it; if he's as big an idiot as you insist, then he'll stop once he quits getting something out of it." She starts to reply, but I hold up a hand. "But you know he's not that stupid, and Alistair will keep doing it regardless."

"He certainly acts dumb enough for it," she retorts.

"I heard that!"

I stifle a laugh, looking over my shoulder as my fellow Warden crests the hill. He smiles at me, a large, goofy grin. It makes me smile back, and I hear Morrigan groan.

"Lovesick puppies," she grumbles, falling back to speak with Talith. I hope he knows she's an apostate. Not that I think he doesn't, but he won't look at Wynne or me without flexing his sword hand. A nervous tick I've seen a lot of soldiers have. They twitch when they want their weapons in their hands. Aedan does it, as does Alistair. I catch myself doing it more often than I'd like.

I look up the next hill, the one that flattens out into a real path. And what's standing up there? A Qunari. With a big sword. Like what the actual fuck. Where did he come from?

"Give us the bard and the female Warden or we'll fire!" a voice shouts. A voice with a heavy Orlesian accent.

I sigh, running a hand down my face in exasperation. "We can't just go one week without getting into fights?"

"Teyrn Loghain and Teyrn Howe's orders, Warden! Come with us!"

"You'll have to come get us first!"


	33. Goldanna

"Well that could've gone better."

"You don't say?" Aedan snaps. "At least everyone is okay." He checks around again, nodding to himself. "Yeah. We're all good."

"That idiot had the nerve to _bitch-slap _me!" I exclaim, gesturing furiously to the idiot in question's corpse.

Aedan chuckles. "Maybe you'll learn to not disarm everyone before killing them, then."

I snort indignantly. "Or I could keep going the way I do. At this rate, I'll be so fed up with people slapping me I actually will bitch-slap the Archdemon back to the Deep Roads." Cyrus, Aedan, and Alistair laugh, giving me goofy looks.

"We must find Marjolaine," Leliana says, walking up to Aedan once she's done gathering her arrows. "She won't rest until I am dead."

Aedan gives her a firm look, squeezing her hand in his. "We will. I promise."

Morrigan gags and I laugh, saying, "I think I see your point, actually. Alistair! No more creepy looks!"

"Aw, but it's so much fun pissing her off," he whines.

"I-" Aedan thwacks me, hard, and cuts me off. I yelp, rubbing the sore spot. "Ow! Damn it, Aedan!"

He looks positively proud of himself for that, so he rejoins Leliana. Her expression is blank, but the amusement is evident in her eyes. I scowl at her, opting to walk off down the widening road to Denerim. Alistair does his best to follow inconspicuously, but fails. Miserably. Zevran whistles and just about everyone glares at him, but he doesn't care, and it's obvious.

I stand about thirty yards from the rest of the party, hands planted on my hips as I stare out at the port city. I've never much liked Denerim, but then again, the only times I ever went to Denerim were when my mother wanted to actually shop, when I was being paraded around to noblemen's sons, or when my father had to attend court or the Landsmeet. All of those are things I hate. Maybe it's just my background hating the city. Maybe now that I don't have to play politician I won't hate Denerim.

Until I remember Howe is the Arl now. Arl of Denerim and the Teyrn of Highever. Both lies I intend to prove to all of Ferelden. I don't care if I was never really close with anyone in Highever; he killed too many innocent people. He hurt my family. That's what made me decide. Just killing my nephew. Just killing my father. That was the end of Howe.

"Hey," Alistair says, walking up beside me.

I look up at him, smiling. "Hello." I take a moment to study his face, try to get a grasp of what he's thinking about. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" he says instantly, sighing. "I just...I don't know." He pauses, looking around awkwardly. I raise an eyebrow.

"Are you sweating, Alistair?"

"What? No!"

"That's a lie," I say, laughing. "Just tell me what's wrong. I won't laugh at you." He crosses his arms, giving me a 'yeah sure' look. "Okay, I probably will. But seriously! Just tell me. I'll try to keep a straight face; I promise." He hesitates, but shakes his head.

"Later," he says. "After we find my sister."

Frowning, I say, "Fine. I can deal with that. She's in the market, right?" He nods, seeming to be relieved. Very relieved. "Good. Then while Aedan and the others go to see Brother Genitivi, we can go to her house." He nods again, turning slightly. He just seems...so put out. I reach out, grabbing his hand. He frowns down at them, eyebrows knit together. "Alistair?"

He drops my hand abruptly before marching back to the others. I watch him go, confused, but then I look back to Denerim, eyes narrowed. Walking around the city...someone is bound to recognize Aedan and I. But that is what makes this an adventure!

* * *

><p>Wolf runs off the moment we pass the Chantry, barking excitedly.<p>

"Well I suppose he's off to do some shopping," Aedan says, looking back at me. I just raise an eyebrow as I continue past him.

"Wolf! Where'd you go? Come back here!" I shout, following the direction my dog ran off in. "Wolf?! Come here, boy!" He runs back to me, still barking, tail wagging, and giving me a huge dog smile. I get down on one knee, frowning, as I brush dirt from his face.

"Puppy!"

I freeze, looking up from my dog. There's...a boy, smiling at me and my mabari. Wolf barks for emphasis, giving the kid his approval. I look back down at him, unable to help the smirk on my face. "If he comes with us, he'll have to fight darkspawn." Wolf growls. He doesn't like that idea. "Well, then, I suppose you'll just have to go put him back, huh?"

My dog whines, but bounds off, leading the child back to his parents. I get to my feet, shaking my head in mild amusement.

"What a weird dog," Aedan says, chuckling.

"Yes, but he's my weird dog, so shut your face," I retort.

"I don't think that's possible, but whatever," Aedan replies, waving my comment aside. "Come on. We need to spread out and find Marjolaine."

"Actually, Alistair and I need to go check on something else," I say. "We'll be right back." I look at the blond man, jerking my head for him to follow.

"Be careful," Aedan says, flicking his eyes to a patrol of guards. "No doubt they know what we look like."

"I'll just bitch slap them and haul ass," I say, waving at him. He laughs once, rolling his eyes. "Now get to whatever you need to. We'll find some armor for Alistair while we're at it." Aedan nods.

"Meet back here in an hour at the latest," Aedan says before our party breaks up to hunt for an Orlesian woman. Quickly enough, it's just Alistair, Wolf, and me standing here, and he's looking at me. Not...not like he normally does.

"Alistair?"

He blinks, saying, "What?"

"You were staring at me."

"Oops," he mutters, blushing furiously. I don't know why he's blushing. If he'd seen how horde he was staring at me, he'd understand why _I'm _blushing a little. "Well..."

"Come on," I say, patting my leg to get Wolf to follow. "Let's find you some armor."

He shrugs, following me down into the market. I head straight for Wade's Emporium, opening the door with my shoulder. Alistair follows me inside, whispering, "Goldanna's house is next door."

"Soon as we get you something to protect yourself."

"Good enough for me."

I smile at him, turning back into the store. "Wade!"

"Hmm?" The blacksmith turns from his forge, smiling at me when he sees me. "Miss Cousland! Back for more armor? Did you bring me anything interesting to use?"

"Yes, I did," I say, fishing around in my pack for the scales Aedan and I collected from the drakes and dragons in the Circle Tower. I never did bother to wonder how the hell those things got up there in the first place.

"Ohh, what is it?" Wade asks excitedly.

"Scales," I say, pulling them from my pack. "Drake scales." As I walk up to him, I realize his assistant isn't here today. Can't remember his name for the life of me, either. "Where's the snappy idiot?"

"Home," Wade says, eyes locked on the scales I hand to him. "I gave him the day off. The shop is actually closed for new orders-"

"Oh dear Maker, I'm sorry," I say. "I'll ask next time."

"It's fine, my lady," he says, practically bouncing as he takes the scales from me. "Quite all right, indeed! Did you know few people even get to see a single scale in their lives? This is wonderful! I'll start working on a set of armor immediately!" He frowns suddenly, looking at Alistair for the first time since we walked in. Clothes and weapons, but no armor. "For the man, I assume?"

I laugh, nodding. "Yes, please. I don't need anything personally."

Wade nods, turning to his anvil. "I will set to work on this! Now leave! Shoo!"

I start out the door, calling, "Thanks, Wade!"

Alistair raises an eyebrow at me as I shut the door to Wade's shop behind me, huffing. "What?"

"He's a character," I say, shaking my head. "He wasn't that bad today; thank the Maker." Alistair looks off again, zoning out. "Do you want to go in by yourself?"

"I-what? Maker, no!" He looks embarrassed as he asks, "Can you come with me? I'd...I'd like someone to uh..." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I already said I'd come with you, Alistair," I say. "Don't worry about it."

He leads the way to her door, taking a deep breath. "What if she doesn't recognize me?"

"Then just tell her who you are."

"Right," he says, suddenly looking nervous. "Well, here goes."

* * *

><p>"Get out of my house!"<p>

Alistair's sad expression makes me want to strangle her, but I huff, angered, and lead the way back outside. Wolf is the last out the door, and I shut it behind my mabari, clenching my fist before slamming it on the door.

"I...I don't know what to say," Alistair says softly.

"I'm sorry your sister was like that," I say.

"It's okay. It's not your fault," Alistair says. "You didn't know she'd just beg us for our money." He shakes his head. "I thought family was supposed to accept you unconditionally. I mean, isn't that what they do?"

"Usually."

He sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I guess I am alone. Maric's last known heir. Both of my parents are dead. My sister is a shrew." He throws a hand up at her door, dropping it back down in exasperation.

"You're not alone, Alistair." He looks back at me, frowning.

"I have no one. Nothing," he says. "I could die tomorrow and no one would miss me."

"I would," I say. "Aedan would. We all would." He snorts, shaking his head. "You have friends here, Alistair. Friends and people that love you. Even Morrigan would miss you, though you won't get her to admit it. Ever."

"She'd miss bitching," Alistair says, snorting in amusement.

"Exactly," I say, trying my damnest and failing to keep a small grin off my face. "Aedan might act indifferent, but you're his best friend, and like his brother. He'd miss you almost as much as I would."

"That's ridiculous," he says. "Aedan-"

"If you don't want to believe that anyone else would miss you, at least believe me when I say I would, okay?" I say, stepping closer. "Alistair, I _love _you. And I don't want to lose someone else." I pull him into my arms, relief flooding my body when he hugs me back.

"I love you, too."

I smile as I let him go, but he holds onto my hand, squeezing it through the metal covering it.

"Let's go find the others," I say. "Maybe they found Marjolaine." I scowl at my feet. "Damn it, but I hate Orlesian names."


	34. Dancing

_So uh...smut alert :/ Don't read past the third break if that's not your thing._

We run into the others as they're leaving a small house on the far side of the market. Leliana looks striken. Wide eyes, horrified expression, and only able to nod when I ask her if they found Marjolaine.

"It...it didn't go well," Aedan whispers. "How did it go with Alistair's sister?"

I shake my head, saying, "It doesn't matter right now. I'll tell you later." Aedan shrugs, but nods. "I gave Wade the scales we got at the Tower to make Alistair some armor. We should be able to pick it up tomorrow before heading out."

"Fantastic."

"Did you find where Genitivi is?" I ask. Aedan shakes his head no, but points at the Chantry.

"I bet they'll know. Come on."

I jump to the front of the pack, leading our small party toward the local Chantry. The priests out front are shouting the Chant of Light at any passerby, but at the sight of our messed up bunch, shut up. I walk into the tiny yard out front, looking between the two Templars watching the doors and a sister standing by a well. I choose the lesser of two evils and walk over to the priest, motioning for my companions to stay put.

"Good morning," I say.

"Good morning to you as well," she says, bowing her head. "How may I be of service?"

"My friends and I are looking for a scholar named Genitivi," I say. "We were told he was a brother as well...? Do you know where we could find him?"

Her eyes narrow in suspicion. She glances between me and the group of people standing by the entry arch leading into the yard. "Why do you need to see Brother Genitivi? Are you from Redcliffe?"

"Er...yes," I say. "Arlessa Isolde sent us here. She said Brother Genitivi would know of the Urn of Sacred Ashes. She needs them to heal Arl Eamon."

The sister sighs, crossing her arms. "He lives across from the Gnawed Noble Tavern, here in the market. I'm afraid he must not be home today, though. He never came in for prayer this morning."

I nod my thanks. "That's fine. We'll wait for him; thank you."

"May the Maker watch over you."

I back away, bouncing as I turn. I rejoin my companions quickly, saying, "Genitivi isn't here at the moment, but I know where he lives. We can see him tomorrow."

"Sounds good, sis," Aedan says, patting my back. "Let's head over to Three-Legged Boar. They'll have rooms, and no one there will recognize us, hopefully."

* * *

><p>We found the inn Aedan mentioned easily, rented ten rooms, and are now either up in our rooms for the night or down in the bar, eating, talking, or dancing. Aedan is actually off at the market, selling off things we don't need in preparation for paying for all the food Cyrus and I are about to scarf down. But right now, I'm watching the people here dance together, smiling faintly. Morrigan is actually with Talith, which is the biggest shock in all of Thedas. He's showing her how to dance, and she's actually smiling.<p>

"This looks bad for our elf friend," Alistair whispers, following my gaze.

I laugh once, smiling at him. The song the bards are playing is upbeat, and the dancers change pace to match. If Leliana were uh...with it, she might enjoy being down here. But she's not, and she's up in her room, having skipped out on supper. Wynne and Sten retired shortly after. Wolf followed Sten up, but I'm fine with that, as long as the mabari behaves himself. Cyrus and Zev have gone out and found women to dance with, leaving Alistair and I the only people from our party sitting at a booth.

"He'll be fine," I say. "Morrigan doesn't eat adults." Alistair chuckles, leaning back. He drums his fingers off the table in rhythm with the music, humming to himself. He looks nice in his clothes, actually. Black shirt, dark brown trousers, and his leather boots. Despite her demeanor since they dealt with Marjolaine, Leliana insisted we all buy nicer clothes to wear while we were here. The only person who refused was Morrigan, and she is dancing around with Talith in those revealing robes, totally lacking any care for the patrons that stare.

I lean forward over the table, getting Alistair's attention. "What?" he asks.

"We should dance," I say, getting to my feet. His eyes go wide, but I grab his hand and pull him up anyway.

"No, no, no. Elissa, I can't dance," he says, shaking his other hand.

"Oh, come on," I say. "It's fun, and I'll show you. Trust me."

"I don't want to step on your toes."

I snort. "If that's all you're worried about, then this will go better than expected." I tug on him again, urging him to the edge of the floor. He suddenly looks anxious, but I ignore that. "Okay, just do what everyone else does. Watch their feet."

"Dear Maker, I don't think I can do this."

"You can run at a pack of darkspawn without a second thought, but dancing scares you?" I shake my head. "Hand. Here." I put the hand I'm holding on my waist and he visibly gulps. "Oh, calm down. You'll be fine."

"What if-"

"Stop with the what-ifs," I say, threading my fingers through his free hand. "Isn't that what you told me?"

"That was different," he says.

"I'll give you that one," I say. "Now come on. Just try it. Please?"

He sighs, saying, "Fine." He looks around for several seconds before he starts mimicking the others, and I can't keep the grin off my face. He's not as bad as he said he was, but then again, I'm choosing to ignore it when he steps on my toes. It doesn't really bother me anyway. "Dear Maker, how the hell do people do this for a living?"

I laugh, shaking my head. "I don't think there are any dancers who dance to Ferelden music."

"That explains everything."

"Yeah, it does," I agree. He spins me before pulling me against his chest. He wraps both of his arms around my waist, hiding his face in my hair. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he says. "Aedan's back."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Good," I say. "I'm starving. Come on." He chuckles, allowing me to pull him back to the booth where Aedan is sitting at.

"Having fun?" Aedan asks.

"Kind of," Alistair says, glaring.

My brother laughs as we sit. "Elissa made you dance?"

"He wasn't that bad," I say.

"Lies!" Alistair says. Aedan and I both laugh, shaking our heads. I pat Alistair's shoulder, smiling up at him.

"You did just fine." Alistair huffs and rolls his eyes as Zev and Cyrus join us, sitting across from the three of us.

"You ready to lose?" Cyrus asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Please," I say, waving a hand at him. "You heard Aedan. I eat enough to feed a horse for a month."

"Aedan can exaggerate," Cyrus retorts.

"Not really," Alistair says. "She eats about that much."

"I do," I say. Then I freeze, whipping around to look at Alistair. "What?" They start laughing at me. "Not nice!" I push Alistair's shoulder, but he catches my hand and sets it on the table.

"I will go get the food," he says, jumping to his feet before I can hit him. Aedan tosses a bag of coins at him as he retreats.

* * *

><p>I don't think I'm ever going to eat anything ever again. Dear Maker. I was more than happy to let Cyrus have that one. I just...no. I am going to sleep. Maybe I'll feel better later even though I know I'll wake up in an hour or so and be hungry. This...I'm ridiculous. Alistair and Aedan got a kick out of it. At least they had fun.<p>

Being a smartass is fun, too.

I fall over backwards, sighing at the bed. Thank the Maker for beds. Thank the Maker for sleep.

I kick off my boots before actually climbing up onto the bed, facing the door. I feel around under my pillow for the knife I placed there earlier and close my hand around its hilt, allowing myself to drift off.

I start, yelping. I bolt upright, pulling the dagger with me, and the man in the doorway jumps, holding up his hands. It takes me a minute to realize it's just Alistair. When I do, I toss the knife aside, listening to it clatter across the wood nightstand. I put my face in my hands, asking, "How did you get in here?"

"You left the door unlocked," he says, sitting on the edge of my bed. "What's wrong?"

I ignore his question. "Why are you in my room?"

"You were screaming," Alistair says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I came to check on you."

"I'm fine," I say. "It was just a nightmare."

"About what?"

"Nothing important," I say, shaking my head. "Just...just a nightmare. No darkspawn or anything."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He hesitates before getting up and going back to my door.

"Well, if you need anything, you know where I'm at," he says as he opens the door. He stops halfway out, watching me. Then he smiles sheepishly and looks down as he leaves. I huff, getting to my feet to lock it behind him.

_Mortals are strange, _Hope says.

"Look who finally decides to rejoin the living," I say sarcastically, putting my forehead against the door. "I hate it when you keep quiet and you know that."

_I had nothing to say. _

"So pointing out that people are strange is something to say?"

_Yes. Obviously, _she says dryly. _I want to know why. _

"Well, I don't have an answer for you," I say. "We're strange for our own reasons."

_So why is he acting strange? Do you know? _

"No," I say. "But...I want to talk to him."

_I thought you said you were fine? _

"You know that was a lie as much as he does," I retort, unlocking the door. I step out into the hall, shutting it behind me. I look down both ends first, like usual, before I start down the right side, deeper into the inn. I pass Wolf outside of Sten's door, curled up in a ball while he snores away. I crouch beside my dog, rubbing his back gently. He whines at me, cracking one eye open, but then goes back to sleep after I stand. I creep my way down the rest of the hallway, stepping carefully so that the floorboards don't creak. Once I'm at his door, I hesitate, but raise my fist and knock on it anyway. "Alistair?"

I hear him moving around for a few seconds until the door opens. "Hi?"

"Hello," he says. "I thought-"

"I lied."

"It was a little obvious," Alistair admits. "So...what did you need?" He steps aside, allowing me in past him. He shuts the door and I can hear the lock click. "Elissa?"

"I don't even know," I say, laughing at myself. "I'm just...lost."

"Lost? What do you mean?"

"I mean I have no idea what I'm doing!" I exclaim, throwing my hands up. "I don't know how I'm supposed to get all of these treaties fulfilled before winter hits, I don't know how I'm supposed to lead anybody anywhere, I don't even...ugh, damn it!"

"Who said we had to fulfill the treaties before winter?" Alistair asks.

"The darkspawn won't stop just because it's snowing," I say. "The Blight will spread and Ferelden will fall."

"We could split up," Alistair suggests. "There's ten of us. Send Aedan and some others to the Dalish and to help Levi Dryden while we head to Orzammar and see what's in Honnleath."

"But we still have to help Eamon!"

"Aedan will have to go back that way anyhow. He can stop there with what we find and then continue on to the Dalish," he says. "Or he could go to the Dalish immediately and leave us to solving Redcliffe's problems. We could rendezvous in Redcliffe when we were done. See? Problem solved."

I sigh, running a hand down my face. "Why did I not think of that?! Dear Maker, Alistair, that's a perfect idea!"

He grins at me. "I'm not all witty remarks."

"No, you're not," I say, smiling. "But you're a softy. And we all know it." I poke him in the side and he yelps, laughing.

"Don't do that! I'm ticklish," he says.

"Really? Hmm."

"No!" He grabs my arms and pulls me against him, face serious. "No. You don't tickle me."

I raise an eyebrow. "Or what?"

He pauses, sliding his hands from my forearms down to my wrists. "Hmm." He cocks his head to the side while he thinks, eyes narrowed as he stares at the wall behind my head. "Let me think about that, actually."

"No," I say, pulling myself free. "I don't like being in trouble." He laughs, reaching for me again, but I avoid him, arms crossed. "Tell me what was bothering you earlier." His eyes widen and he freezes, eyes locked on mine. "Alistair, you can tell me anything. Please. Let me help you."

He laughs awkwardly. "I don't really need help for that."

"Well, tell me." Alistair sighs, sitting on the edge of his bed. I sit beside him, searching his face while he stares at his hands. "Alistair?"

He looks at me, but looks away almost instantly, shaking his head. "I don't know how to ask you this."

"Ask me what?"

"I uh...I...um..." I raise an eyebrow questioningly, but the more I let him ramble, the worse it gets. Quickly enough, he's fumbling over sounds in an attempt to find words. His face is red, and so are his neck and his ears.

I put my hand on his and he snaps his mouth shut instantly. "Calm down, Alistair. Just ask." He looks past me, and my eyes widen. "Are you sweating? Again?"

"Er...yes," Alistair says.

"You don't need to be so nervous."

"Uh...okay," he says. "I uh...I want to...spend...the night...with...you." His voice cracks out of nervousness.

My jaw drops. "You...what?"

He sighs, evidently feeling better because he got the courage to ask but now feeling worse because I'm so confused. "Look, we could both die tomorrow, and I don't want it to be before I can show you how much love you. I wanted to wait, but..." He trails off awkwardly, looking embarrassed.

"I...I don't know what to say."

"You-"

Without a second thought, I pull his mouth down to mine, heart pounding frantically. He seems confused at first, but after several agonizingly long seconds, he kisses me back, pulling me against him. I don't know how long we stay like that, but the kiss gets more desperate after a while, and I start pulling at his shirt. He lets go of my waist to pull it off, revealing all of the scars and muscles beneath. He looks sort of embarrassed at my staring, so I drag my eyes back up to his.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?"

"Maker, yes," he breathes, pulling me back against him. He crushes his lips against my own. I moan, threading my fingers in his hair, and he lifts me onto his lap. A knot forms in my stomach when I feel him pressing against my thigh. My hips roll against him and he groans, tightening his grip on my waist. Then he rolls us onto the bed, kissing my neck. His hands slide to the fringes of my shirt and he practically rips it off. I laugh for some reason and he raises an eyebrow down at me, kissing my nose before he goes back to kissing my neck. Alistair's hands trail down my body until he finds my pants. Dear Maker, I've never wanted anyone like this.

I fumble at the laces of his breeches, tugging at the knot there. He groans, shifting to grab my wrists. "So uncoordinated," he whispers next to my ear. The tone of his voice sends tingles down my spine.

"Alistair..." He cuts me off, pressing his mouth against mine again. His tongue slides across my lips. And then his breeches are gone, and my trousers. He pushes against me and I gasp, giving him the chance to get his tongue inside my mouth. I feel his hands exploring my back as they search for the clasp keeping my breastband on. "Where-?"

"Zevran knows plenty," he says.

"You...asked Zevran...for-"

"No! But I listened." I laugh again as he tears our smallclothes off, throwing them around the room in random directions. "Are you...sure?" He pulls away from me, face slightly red.

"Yes."

I don't recognize the expression on his face as he kisses me again, and before my mind can fully process it, he pushes inside of me, groaning. We both freeze, trying to come to terms with what we're feeling, but he recovers quickly and jerks his hips. I cry out, balling my hands up in his hair. Alistair doesn't seem to care, instead running his hands up to my chest. I arch into his touch, moaning at all the sensations his hands create. He thrusts again, groaning, while I drag his mouth up to mine. He shifts in the middle of our kiss, hitting a spot so deep inside of me I didn't know it existed. I can't even...

As Alistair's pumping gets more and more frantic, the knot in my stomach tightens. He runs his hands everywhere, poking and prodding my body. If I so much as twitch, he does it again, committing it to memory before he moves on. I don't even notice my own hands running over his torso until he kisses me so hard I can't breathe. I dig my nails into his shoulders and he groans again, shoving deeper inside. The knot in my stomach unravels and my muscles clench, pulling him closer. I start shaking as I hold him against me, moaning when he grunts and spills himself inside of me.

He rolls off me, wrapping an arm around my waist to pull me with him. I fall asleep almost instantly, feeling warm all over.

And the nightmares don't follow.

_I feel awkward posting this chapter... o.o_


	35. Intruders

Alistair and I are the first downstairs for breakfast, sitting across from each other as we eat. His eyes never leave me, and mine don't leave him until I catch movement on the stairs. Zev is walking down them with an evil grin on his face. I roll my eyes as I stuff a piece of bread in the corner of my mouth. He walks right up to us, sitting next to Alistair. The blond man looks at the elf with a raised eyebrow.

"So-"

"Continue that sentence and I'll hit you," I snap. Alistair snorts in amusement and Zev seems happy to ignore me.

"I heard some weird sounds coming from your room last night, Alistair," he says.

"Good for you," Alistair says.

"What-"

"I was not joking," I say carefully. "Either shut up or leave. Your choice."

The Antivan elf wiggles his eyebrows knowingly as he gets up. "You can either let me talk about it now or we can wait for Aedan to come down." Alistair almost swallows his fork, but I just shrug.

"Go for it," I say brightly, taking a bite of corn. "Aedan knows I'll knock him into next week if he says anything." I shrug as I get a drink. With that, I get to my feet, patting Zevran's shoulder as I walk past. I look back at Alistair, smiling at him before disappearing upstairs. I walk down to my room, finding Wolf waiting for me at the door. He barks happily, jumping to his feet and spinning in circles as I approach. I laugh, dropping to my knee to hug the monster. He play-growls at me, nipping my shoulder. "Oh no you don't!" I wrestle my dog to the floor, but he knocks me over, sitting on my stomach. "Ack! Dear Maker, dog!" He leans down, barking in my face once, before he lets me up. I groan as I sit up, massaging behind my ears to stop the ringing. He watches me patiently, dripping slobber all over the floor. Once I've recovered, I notice the piece of paper stuck under his collar. Frowning, I grab it, unfolding it when I see ink through it.

_Warden, _

_It has come to our attention that you and your party is within my city. Leave promptly and never return or I will send my troops marching on Highever. I am sure Howe would like to meet with your family again, especially you. _

At the bottom is Loghain's seal, stamped on it. My eyes widen and I run a finger over the seal, smudging the ink. Fresh. Only minutes old.

Someone just put this on my dog.

"Wolf? Stay here and don't let anyone into my room. Got it?" The dog starts to bark, but he hears something and turns towards it, growling. My door shakes before opening, revealing a man in dark clothing.

"You!" he exclaims.

Wolf snarls at the intruder, muscles tensing. I leap to my feet before my mabari can do anything, tackling the man into my room. We crash into the table and hit the floor, smashing it. He kicks me off him, running for the window, but I recover quickly and race after him. He has it open, half out of it, when I get to him. I don't hesitate, don't pause, and I throw us both outside, straight into a cart full of hay. He plants a foot in my ribs and leaps from the cart, leaving me here, coughing, hurting, but I get the willpower to throw myself out, landing on my knees. He disappears around a corner as I struggle to my feet.

_You're not going to catch him! _

I let her loose without another thought, taking advantage of the healing energy she washes over me. I smother her that same instant before I run after him. I push through a crowd and turn a corner into an alley. I search the dark frantically, taking another step into the shadows. I hear air split behind me, but by the time I turn, something heavy slams into my head and I hit the ground as the world goes dark.

* * *

><p>I wake up with a groan, ears ringing. I push myself to my hands and knees, blinking rapidly to clear my vision. My head throbs painfully with each breath I take. I stand slowly, taking in my surroundings. I see walls, two of them. Off to my right is a wall of bars, and in front of me is a row of bars with a metal door. The lock hangs free, but I don't go toward it. That's a trap. No one is dumb enough to leave a cell door unlocked.<p>

I hear someone screaming and yelling, along with metal boots pounding on the stone floor. The noises get closer until the door on the far wall is thrown open. Two guards march in, dragging a man in by his wrists. A third follows, unlocking the cell next to mine. They throw him in, laughing about something as they leave. He just lies on the floor in a puddle of blood, still enough to be dead. I hesitate before crossing the massive cell and crouching by the bars.

"Hey," I whisper. He doesn't move, so I whisper it louder, and he jumps, looking up weakly. "Where are we?"

He coughs up blood, laughing at me as he sits up. "We're in the Arl of Denerim's estate, down in the prison." He wipes gore from his face, shaking it off his hand. "You ain't never gettin' outta here, lady. Howe'll kill ya first."

"Why are you down here?"

"Because I dared to protest the treatment of the elves in the Alienage," he says. "They're all sick with some plague but he won't let no one in to help 'em, so I started shouting things I shouldn't 'ave." He studies me for a moment before asking, "What did you do?"

I snort, sitting back on the ground. "I had the guts to take Highever back from him."

"Back?" he asks. "You're a Cousland?"

"I'm a Warden," I say. "But yes, I was a Cousland."

He snorts too, shaking his head. "Pretty stupid move if ya ask me."

"Good thing I didn't."

"I suppose so," he agrees. "Pretty gutsy, too."

"Thanks," I mutter. I get up and go back to the door, taking a deep breath before grabbing the handle. At first, nothing happens, but then I hear something click beneath my boots, and then the ground explodes, throwing me back hard enough that my head snaps off the wall.

"Not very bright, are ya?"

Groaning, I roll onto my stomach and then push myself to my feet. "Well, I could either sit here and wonder what would happen if I tried getting out or I could try and see if they were dumb enough to leave it unlocked."

The man laughs, shaking his head. "You know that's how they tell when you're awake, yes? Now they're going to march in here and take you off to see Howe."

"Good," I say. "We need to talk."

* * *

><p>Alistair follows Leliana through the streets, shaking his arms every now and then to keep himself calm. She talks to strangers casually, passing off sovereigns to anyone who helps them. Aedan and Morrigan are doing the same on the other side of the inn, trying to find out if anyone has seen Elissa. Wolf already took them as far as he could; he lost her scent once they hit an alleyway.<p>

"Alistair!" Leliana snaps.

He blinks, jumping. "What?"

"Don't look now, but that man back by the vendors has been following us all day," she says, laughing. She gives him a look and he laughs too, fighting the urge to look over his shoulder. "Come on. Let's go check on Aedan and Morrigan; maybe they have had better luck than us."

He nods, following her as she leads him back the way they came. They weave their way through the crowd assembled out front, listening to a town crier shouting lies about Wardens and Loghain and any allies Alistair can think of. He clenches his fists as they pass, scowling at the ground. He hates liars, hates that anyone with enough coin can pay them off.

As they come around the inn, they see Morrigan running up to them, alone.

"Where's Aedan?" Alistair demands.

She shakes her head. "Gone."

"What?!" Leliana exclaims.

"We split to cover more ground," she says. "When I turned to look for him, he was gone."

Alistair crosses his arms. "This doesn't look suspicious at all." Morrigan snorts, rolling her eyes at his sarcasm. "Do either of you think it might be Howe?"

"Oh, it probably is," Morrigan says. "Anybody with a brain would take all four of the remaining Wardens in Ferelden."

His eyes widen and he turns, sprinting back for the inn. Leliana calls his name, but he ignores her, throwing the door open. He searches the front room, but only sees Zevran, Wynne, and Sten sitting at a table with Wolf lying on the floor, a depressed look about him. He runs up to them immediately.

"Find something?" Zevran asks.

"Where's Cyrus?"

"He went upstairs to check on Talith," Wynne says. "Poor dear has been sick all morning."

"You let him go alone?!" Alistair curses, ordering Wolf to his side before going upstairs. He goes straight to Talith's room, knocking once before going inside. "Talith?"

The elf coughs, rubbing his eyes as he sits up. Alistair tries to ignore how sick he looks. Lyrium withdrawal. They need to find him some, fast. "What?"

"Did Cyrus ever come up here?"

"No, why do-"

"Damn it!" He punches the wall. It's not just Howe taking Elissa and Aedan; he wants all of them, and Alistair is the only one still free. "Wolf, stay here and watch Talith." The dog just whines, missing his master. Alistair crouches by the dog, holding his face in his hands. "I will find them. Okay? But you have to stay here and watch the Knight-Captain. He's sick." Wolf manages to bark before he curls up by the foot of Talith's bed. Alistair stands, saying, "You need lyrium. I'll send Wynne up. She might have some, or at the very least, a lyrium potion to hold you over." The elf nods, coughing, as Alistair starts out the door. He looks down both ends of the hall, eyes narrowed, as he silently dares whomever is taking his friends to come for him, too. When he sees no one, he practically sprints downstairs, vowing to find the other Wardens, even if it kills him.

He walks up to his companions' table, slamming his hands down on it in frustration. Leliana and Morrigan have joined the three of them, and all five look at him like he's lost his mind.

"They took Cyrus, too," he says.

Leliana's eyes go wide. "Alistair, they might come after you next."

"I know," he says. "Wynne, Morrigan, go up to Talith. He needs lyrium."

"Why didn't I think of that?" Wynne says. She sighs as she gets to her feet, following Morrigan upstairs.

Alistair looks at the remaining three. "I'm going to walk out that door, and if I'm not back in five minutes, break into Howe's estate and find Elissa and Aedan. If Cyrus and I aren't there, then Loghain has us, and we're most likely going to be at Fort Drakon." They nod. "Make sure those two stay here with Talith. And whatever you do, _don't _let Elissa come after me. Got it?"

"Yes," Leliana says. "Be careful, Alistair."

"No, I'm serious," Alistair says. "I don't want Elissa coming with you to get Cyrus and I. I don't want to risk all of Ferelden finding out she's a mage, and technically a possessed one at that. Knock her out and tie her up of you have to, but do everything you can to keep her from Fort Drakon." He looks all three of them in the eye, giving them all a hard look. "Promise me."

"I promise," Leliana says.

He looks at Zevran and Sten next. "You have my word, Warden," Sten says.

"Zevran?"

The elf sighs, but nods. "I swear."

Alistair nods, satisfied. "Thanks. Good luck."

"Good luck to you, too," Zevran says.


	36. The Death of an Arl

My cell door opens and two guards reach for me, but I smack their hands aside. "I'll walk there, thanks."

"You don't have a choice, Cousland bitch."

My temper flares, but I tamper it down, trying desperately to keep control of Hope. "What did you call me?"

He sneers. "You heard me." He smacks the side of my head with the shaft of his spear and I stagger back, wincing. "Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Choose."

"I'll behave if you let me walk," I snarl, rubbing the side of my head. My vision spins, but I don't let it show.

"Jake, just let her walk," the other says, sighing. "The least we can do is let her retain some dignity until tomorrow."

The one with a spear, Jake, growls under his breath. "Fine," he snaps, stepping aside to let me past. He pokes the small of my back with it to get me moving, and I snap, swatting it away. He whips, hooking the spear around my ankles before flipping my feet from beneath me. I land in a heap, groaning, when he kicks my ribs with his metal boot. I yelp as he kicks me again and again and again, but then the door opens, revealing more guards dragging a limp body in. I barely register the face, but when I do, I start.

"Aedan!"

I struggle to my feet, but Jake grabs my arms, holding me back. "Hit her! Knock her out, damn it!" The other guard sighs as he forms a fist and slams it into my face. I stop fighting instantly, falling to the floor when he drops me. "Now are you going to get your ass moving and behave, or do we have to hit you again?"

I cough as I drag myself to my feet. "I'll behave," I snap.

"Good," he says, shoving me. "Now get moving."

I stagger, but keep my balance, and follow the guard who hit me out into the hall. He leads me out into a small room where several guards mill about. I recognize all of them as Howe's Amaranthine men, and most of them glare at me as we pass, but a few almost look sorry. The guard takes me into a hallway next and turns right. That's when I start making mental notes, trying to remember my way around the prison.

I have no intention of staying here.

We go up a set of stairs, down another, and turn left before he opens the door to a new room. Jake pushes me inside roughly, threatening me with his spear when I whip around to glare at him. He pushes me again while the other starts fiddling with some sort of table with restraints on it.

Oh joy. This looks like so much fun.

"Sit in the chair," Jake orders, pointing with his spear. I listen, but not without shooting him a glare first. He ties my arms behind my back with a coarse and thick rope, effectively making sure I don't try to struggle or rip my way free. Once his friend is done with the table, they leave.

"Teyrn Howe is going to have so much fun with you," Jake calls before they shut the door.

Good. I'm glad he's coming.

While I wait, I look around the room, deciding on what weapon I want to kill the bastard with. The axe looks a little heavy and a little too quick, but the sword...

The door barges open and in marches the puny man.

"Bryce Cousland's little spitfire is all grown up," he says, slamming the door shut behind him. "A Grey Warden instigating the masses! A possessed mage just waiting for the Templars."

"How did you know about that?"

"I have my resources, foolish girl," he snarls. "But none of that is going to help you now. I have your brother, and Loghain has the other two Wardens." He watches me at that comment, trying to see if that makes me squirm, but I refuse to. "What if I told you one of them was dead?"

I bite my tongue, holding Hope and myself back.

He walks right up to me, putting his face in mine. "What if I told you you were going to die in here?" I remain silent, working hard to keep my face expressionless. "What if I told you Eleanor and Fergus were dead? Ser Gilmore?" When I say nothing, he punches the side of my head. My head snaps away and I see stars, but I don't say a word or make a sound. "Which one of you killed my son?!"

I roll my shoulders as I straighten, staring forward at the door.

"Was it you?" Howe demands, drawing a dagger. He puts the edge of it against my neck, but I don't twitch. He won't kill me. Not before he gets me to scream.

And I won't.

He yells in frustration, pulling his dagger back. In a fit of rage, he slams it into my thigh. My eyes go wide and I bend over, biting my tongue hard enough to draw blood.

But I don't scream.

I won't. I can't.

I _refuse _to give him the satisfaction.

I twist my wrists around, but the rope digs into my skin, cutting it.

"You and your entire family deserve to die!" Howe yells, removing his dagger from my leg in a fountain of red. It hurts twice as much coming out, but I don't care. I keep my mouth shut, fighting the tears threatening to fall. "You are nothing anymore! Do you hear me, Elissa? Nothing!"

He goes around behind me, cutting the bloody ropes off me. He kicks the back of my chair and sends me forward, face first into the stone floor. He grabs me by the back of my shirt, throwing me at a table. I stumble into it, but before I can turn away, he grabs my wrist and slams my hand back onto the table, pinning it there. He reaches for a mallet, a big one.

Holy fucking-

He slams it down, shattering my hand in one perfect blow. I grit my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut. Dear Maker! I never thought something could hurt so much!

"Ser?" a voice asks from the door.

"What?!" Howe screams, kicking out at me before stomping over to the metal thing. He yanks the door open, revealing three guards, all in uniform, but...

I know that accent.

I look up, coughing, and search their faces, hoping, begging, that they see me. But I'm all they're looking at. I lock eyes with Leliana, on the sword she's holding. Howe is staring at it as well.

"Is that-" He reaches for it just as I let Hope out. My hand snaps back together painfully, but my body is healed, and that's all that matters.

I get to my feet, shaking, glowing, feeling horrible, but I'm on my feet anyway, and I have every intention on using every ounce of fury bubbling through my body.

"Find Aedan," I say. Howe whips, Cousland sword forgotten, and locks eyes on me. "Then I want you to run. Don't wait for me." The three of them nod before running off.

"You're a monster," Howe hisses.

"And you're a murderer," I snap. "But you care about that as much as I care about being this."

He draws his daggers, sneering. "I'll kill you before you can even twitch."

I hold my hands out to my sides. "Then do it."

* * *

><p>Aedan tries to defend himself, covers his face and everything, but the guards still beat him until he's on the floor. And then they don't stop. They kick him, break his ribs, his collarbone, anything they can hit, and he sees no end to the pain. He feels like he's just going to feel all of it until the day he dies.<p>

He curls in on himself, using all of his willpower to protect his head. One man drags him to his fee and holds him against the wall by the throat. Aedan kicks, but the man barely twitches, and his grip is firm.

"Hey!" The entire cell freezes and the guard holding Aedan up drops him. Aedan hits the floor, coughing, heart pounding, but he struggles to his feet anyway, slamming into the closest guard. The two of them topple over, rolling across the floor in a tangle of fists and feet. When they stop rolling, Aedan manages to get on his feet first, and he puts all of his strength into the kick he delivers at the man's armored chest. He does it again, and again, and again, before someone grabs him and pulls him away.

"Aedan!" a voice snaps. "Aedan, he's dead. Calm down."

He feels exhausted, drained, and sits on the floor, barely able to keep control of his body long enough to make it sitting and not falling. A cool vial is pressed into his hand, filled with red liquid, and he doesn't question it. He swallows the potions they give him, all four, and still doesn't feel better. He just feels cold, numb to the outside world.

Until he sees clear blue eyes staring at him from right in front of his face. He cracks, pulling the Orlesian into his arms without a second thought. She yelps, but doesn't fight him, and he holds her, shaking hard enough that they both do.

"Thank the Maker," he breathes. He repeats it, breathing heavily.

"Yes, the Maker is welcome," Leliana says, exasperated. She wrestles free of the man and stands, brushing herself off.

Something clicks in Aedan's head and he looks around frantically, searching all of the cells he can see. But they're all empty, and he shakes his head.

"Where's my sister?"

"Elissa is...fine," Leliana says. "She is...busy, but fine. Come. We need to leave." Aedan just nods, climbing to his feet. She leads him out of his cell and out into a much smaller room where Sten and Zevran wait, weapons bloodied. Zevran hands him his sword while Sten hands him his shield. Aedan weighs both in his hands, feeling satisfied as he straps his shield onto his left arm. When he is done with that, his three rescuers lead him out of the prison past too many bodies for him to count. He catches sight of one of the shields, and he finally realizes where he's at.

"Where's Howe?" Aedan demands.

The three ahead of him come up short, looking back at him with mixed expressions. Sten has his usual blank one, but Zevran and Leliana have hesitant ones.

"Where. Is. Howe?" he repeats.

"Dead," Zevran says carefully.

"Dead?" Aedan says, disbelief filling his voice. "Howe...Howe is dead?"

"Most likely," Zevran says, turning.

"Who killed him?" Zevran freezes again, but doesn't look back at him. Aedan looks to Leliana instead, trying to look as serious as he can. "Who killed Howe?"

"Elissa," she says. Aedan breathes deeply, a strange sense of victory filling him. All he can wish for is that he was there to help, or at least watch. "Aedan? Aedan, are you all right?"

He blinks, drawing himself back to the present. "Yeah, I'm fine." He takes a deep, shuddering breath before adding, "I hope it hurt."

"Oh it probably did," Zevran says, walking towards a set of stairs. "Now let's go. We still need to get Alistair and Cyrus."

"They're missing?!" Aedan exclaims. "We need to find them!"

"We know where they are," Leliana says, following Zevran. "And we'll get them; I promise." Aedan nods again, bringing up the rear of the party. He tries not to stare at the blood stains on Sten's greatsword, but he does, and it's all he can think of until they're up in the castle.

* * *

><p>I make sure that my friends are good and gone before I make my way to the ramparts. The guards here offer little resistance, either throwing down their weapons and running or dying so easily I start to fear myself.<p>

I sprint up the stairs, slamming my shoulder into the chest of a guard that chooses to stand and fight. He falls backwards and I leap past him, running up the last of the steps within seconds. I look over the edge, down at the ground seventy-some feet below and shake my head. Damn it all.

Guards stream down either side of the wall. I sigh, backing up. I'm going to have to jump that. Fantastic.

Taking a running start, I flip over the waist-high stone railing, falling to the ground so far below. I land in the grass, knees taking all of the force of the impact, and I roll to save as much pain as possible. I look back up at the guards on the wall, but they're staring at me, wide-eyed. Not giving chase. I can't help the victorious grin on my face as I give them a mock salute before running off. I keep Hope out, using her to keep me from having a fit. I run as far as I can, almost up to the river, before I tamper her and collapse against the side of a building, panting.

_Howe's dead, _I think. _Howe is really dead. _I grin again. _And I killed him. _

My heart is racing from my adrenaline high, but I don't care. I find it hard to care about anything now. Howe is dead. Howe's dead because of me. I lean back, staring up at the cloudy sky with a huge grin on my face.

I close my eyes, breathing heavily through my nose. My heart rate calms much faster that way, and when I climb to my feet, my lungs don't protest even though my legs do. I pull out the healing potion I stole from a guard back at the estate and down it in one gulp, throwing it aside before walking out onto the main street. My muscles loosen up as I walk and the pain recedes, making it much easier. I start making my way back to the inn, hoping that the others are still there.

I push through the crowds of people heading across the bridge over the rover that cuts through the middle of the city. I try to blend in with them, but the blood covering me makes me a little more than conspicuous. People look at me like I have two heads and avoid me. They go to great lengths for it, too. Eventually I'm walking down a clear path as people trip over themselves off to my left and right.

I snort, shaking my head, before taking off at a run, hopping a crate at the opposite end of the bridge.

"You there! Halt!" I look over my shoulder, locking eyes with the guard shouting for me. "Why are you so bloody?"

"Go ask Howe!" I retort before I turn and start running again.

"After her!" the guard yells.


	37. Teyrn Loghain

_Hey guys! Leave a review please! _

I jump off the side of a building, slamming myself back to the ground feet-first. I feel my mana drain significantly, so I make a mental note to save that trick for another time. Then I turn and bolt, forcing myself to get back to the inn. I hope into the cart of hay from earlier, push through it, and use a boost from Hope to throw myself up at the window I fell out of. I turn and slam it shut, locking it before going to the door and locking it as well. I sag against the wall, panting for a good ten minutes. I run a hand through my sweaty hair, thanking the Maker that the inn is cold. I find the water jug from last night, the one I used to clean my face off when we first got here, and dump it on myself, feeling somewhat ridiculous, but I just sprinted across the whole of Denerim while glowing white.

I laugh at the absurdity of it. Half the citizens of Denerim recognized me. I guess there's no hiding that I'm a mage anymore.

Once I've fully recovered and dried my face off, I strip, throwing my bloody clothes into the fireplace. I change into the clothes I wear under my armor before lighting the fire again. Then I put on my equipment as quickly as possible and go out into the inn, looking down both ends of the hall to make sure no one is there. Deciding I'm alone, I pull my brush out of my pack and brush my hair as I walk down the hall. When I'm satisfied, I tie it back, enjoying the rush of cool air flooding the back of my neck.

Talith's room is closest to mine, so I head there first, knocking. I hear a low growl from inside and then someone shush the source.

"Hello?" a familiar voice asks. Wynne. What's she doing in there?

"It's Elissa," I say.

"Elissa?" The door opens, revealing Morrigan, Wolf, Wynne, and Talith, who is sleeping in his bed. "Thank the Maker, girl! What happened to you this morning?"

"Oh, you know," I say, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind me. "Howe figured out Aedan and I were in the city. Sent some creepy guy here to investigate and I caught him in my room. Chased him out into the city, and ended up in Howe's estate. Just a normal day for me."

"How'd you get out?" Wynne asks.

"Leliana, Zevran, and Sten showed up," I say, "while Howe was in the middle of beating me half to death. I had them go save Aedan while I dealt with Howe, and then I ran."

"All the way here?" Morrigan asks.

"All the way here," I confirm. "Have they shown up yet? Or are they still out in the city?"

"They're still out in the city as far as I know," Wynne says. "Why?"

I curse, punching the wall in a burst of anger. "Because the guards will be searching the city for us by now. I barely got away from them long enough to get inside." I look at Talith, but he's sleeping. "What's wrong with him?"

"Lyrium withdrawal," Morrigan says.

"Oh," I say. I rummage around in my pack, pulling out as many lyrium potions as I can hold. "Here. I don't need these." I give them to Wynne before backing away. "Where are Alistair and Cyrus?"

"Gone," Wynne says, getting up to give Talith the potions.

I stiffen. "What?"

"They're gone," Morrigan says. "Loghain took them."

With that, I turn on my heel and stomp out of the room, heading downstairs. The door opens as I reach the base of the steps, revealing my brother and the other three. Aedan looks like he's been beaten far worse than I was, but he's standing, and I'll take that as a good sign.

"Thank the Maker," he says when he sees me.

Leliana locks eyes with me and she shakes her head. "Do not think about it."

"Too late," I snap, pushing past them. "Go talk to Genitivi. We'll meet you outside of the city."

As I push past, Sten grabs my upper arm. "You are not allowed to leave."

I stiffen, choosing my words carefully as I say, "On whose orders? Yours?"

"Alistair's," Leliana says.

"To hell with it," I snap, shaking Sten off. "I don't take orders from Alistair."

I walk out into the street, running all the possible places Loghain could've put them in, when Aedan calls my name. I turn, looking back at him.

"Is Howe...?"

"There's not enough left of him to bury," I say stiffly before running to the left, back towards the south side of Denerim. I look up and the tower of Fort Drakon looms in the distance. There. Has to be.

* * *

><p>Cyrus groans as they pull him off a wicked table that pulls your limbs apart. He hits the floor gratefully, but the guard pulls him up and drags him back up the stairs to his cell. He's practically thrown in, and he doesn't have the strength to even sit up. He just lays there, sore and stiff, unable to do much more than breathe. He can't even keep his eyes open.<p>

"Cyrus!"

Alistair's voice snaps him out of his pain-ridden daze and he lifts his head, looking into the cell beside his own. The blond man is still clothed and untouched. Cyrus has been stripped down to his smallclothes and has finally been released from the torture.

"Are you okay?"

"No," he says, wincing. "But I'll live. Probably."

Alistair shakes his head, looking to the door when it's opened.

"You, bastard," the guard says. "On your feet. Teyrn Loghain wants a word with you."

"Great," Alistair says, huffing. He glances back at his fellow Warden, but he's passed out, and there's nothing he can do about it. Alistair sighs, walking up to the door of his cell. The guards open the door for him before marching him out. "What does the Teyrn want with me?"

"Don't know," the guard says. "But I don't suspect it to be a good thing."

Alistair sighs again, resigning himself to a long and painful day. The guards form up around him, poking and prodding him out of the chamber with their spears. He follows their directions up a set of stairs, out of a kennel, and down a hall to the right, into what looks like an office. A man in silver chainmail that reminds him of Elissa's armor sits behind a desk. Another man in heavy plate armor stands beside him.

"Dismissed," the plated man orders.

"Yes, ser," all of the people in the room say before leaving.

Alistair squares his shoulders and the black-haired man locks grey eyes on him. "Just what exactly are you doing, boy?"

"Me? Standing."

"What are you and the rest of the Wardens planning?" he demands.

"Other than defeating the Blight?" Alistair asks.

"Don't lie to me," Loghain snarls. "Your commander and Cailan were trying to get the Orlesian Wardens here, weren't they?"

"I assume so," Alistair says, shrugging. "So what? Twenty Wardens aren't enough to stop a Blight. We needed help, and last I checked, there aren't any Orlesians that would be dumb enough to attack Ferelden while the man who kicked them out was still alive."

Loghain snorts. "Are you a patriot, boy?" Alistair just raises an eyebrow. "Do you love your country?"

"Naturally."

"Then I trust those two Cousland Wardens you're running around with told you of their family's plot to open the borders up to the Orlesians?"

"Did Howe tell you that?" Alistair asks. Loghain narrows his eyes suspiciously, and Alistair can't help but laugh. "You trusted a greedy Arl over a Teyrn whose family has done nothing but defend Ferelden since King Calenhad?"

"That's not my point."

Alistair throws his hands up, laughing again. "You idiot! You just lost the trust of the second most powerful family in Ferelden to a power-hungry bastard!"

"We're done talking," Loghain says stiffly. "You refuse to see reason."

"Yeah. I do," Alistair says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Because I'm tearing Ferelden apart in a civil war while there's a Blight going on."

"Guards! Take this fool back to his cell."

Alistair regrets everything he said the instant he's back in the hallway.


	38. Fort Drakon

_Ahhhhh, guys! I can't get Inquisition until Thanksgiving! :( So leave a review and make me happy lol._

"How much you wanna bet they're expecting a creepy glowing Warden?" Zevran asks.

"Can you be serious for all of five seconds?" Aedan snaps.

"How much you got?" I ask, turning and dropping back down.

"Oh no," Zev says, chuckling. "We all know that is what they are waiting for. I'd prefer not to lose my sovereigns to you."

I click my tongue. "Boring, Zev. Boring."

"So what's the plan?" Aedan asks, interrupting. I look at my twin, grinning. His eyes widen. "Oh no you don't."

"Try and catch me," I retort, releasing Hope. I turn and dash around the corner before he can so much as raise a finger.

"Damn it, Elissa!"

I look over my shoulder, shouting, "Go! I'll distract them!" With that, I flip my world sideways. I readjust my field of view, shifting what was the ground now to what's behind me, and the wall of Fort Drakon as the ground. I fall, slamming into it feet-first. The force of the impact makes my legs weaken, but I ignore it, and sprint twenty feet forward. Or up, depending on perspective. Mine says forward. Once I reach the edge of the wall, I jump, flipping around and changing down back to the normal spot, landing on my feet flawlessly. I immediately feel the toll of that spell as my mana drains, but I don't spend much more time than that on it. The guards are staring, mouths agape and wide-eyed.

"Evening!" I say, saluting. They just stare, so I roll my eyes, crossing my arms. "Do I have to spell it out for you? You don't have orders to arrest me?"

The nearest man blinks, shaking his head. "Oh. Right."

"There you go!"

I tense my muscles, dropping into a defensive stance, as they run at me from both ends of the ramparts.

_Don't kill. Scare. Immobilize, _I tell myself.

The first man hits me from my left, but I spin and bring my knee up into his chest, ducking beneath a sword that just barely misses my head. I straighten, grabbing the swordsman's wrist and twisting it back before jumping out of the fray. I drop over the inside of the wall, latching onto the ramparts at the last possible second. I don't waste anymore time to get inside the gates' controls, launching myself through the small slit. I hit a guard in the chest with both feet, but I roll off and back up, touching the wheel that raises the portcullis. I link it to the far wall and it starts spinning its own accord, opening for my friends. Then I bolt, hopping out to the courtyard below. Aedan and the others are sliding beneath the metal grate as it opens.

"That was..." Even Zevran seems at a loss for words.

"That was not enough!" I exclaim, upset. "I have way too much energy!"

"Then go waste some of it!" Aedan says.

"Good plan," I reply, nodding as I bounce back into a jog.

"Get those doors open," he says.

"On it," I say. "Just keep the guards off me." He nods, drawing his sword. The four of them make up a triangular formation, putting Leliana in the center while Aedan, Zevran, and Sten watch her flanks.

I sprint across the courtyard, somehow dodging all the arrows peppering the ground around me. The alarm bell blares, echoing in my ears, but I ignore it, searching the door for a weakness. Metal, so it's strong. Locked and barred, meaning I can't just dropkick it until I bust a hole or punch the lock off.

I snort in amusement. I'm thinking of some pretty weird things lately.

Why don't I do this the simple way?

I back up, summoning ice crystals on my right arm. I aim at the hinges before letting them freeze and once they are, I draw my bow, shattering them. The door creaks, shaking, and I roll out of the way as it slams into the ground with a solid thud. I look back at my companions, but they're already following, running from a small armada of guards.

"You're starting to scare me," Aedan says.

"Really? I already scare myself."

He sighs as they run past into the tower. "And I thought Zevran was a smartass."

"You've lived with me for everyday of your life, and you didn't know that already?" I shake my head. "For shame, Aedan!" My brother rolls his eyes.

"And you were worried about me not taking anything seriously!" Zevran says.

"I apologize to you," Aedan says.

I lead the way into the tower, not wasting any time in erecting a barrier over the door the same way Wynne did at the Circle. I hope they got something useful out of Genitivi. We won't be in Denerim long enough to talk to him after this. As I turn, I notice the scaffolds set up around the large antechamber, ballistae on each of the four. My eyes narrow and I shove Hope back, creeping into the room as quietly as possible.

It's too quiet.

I take another step, but Leliana and Zev both call out a warning too late, and the ground explodes. Tiles fly, soaring around the room as ten-pound projectiles that can kill. I cover my head with my arms, dropping to a knee. Smoke and dust fill the entire massive room, and when it clears, I'm still standing.

Boom shield.

"Boom shield!" I exclaim, pulling the necklace out to where I can see it. The rune is glowing silver. "It worked!"

"Uh...Elissa?"

"What?" Aedan opens his mouth to respond, but thinks better of it and shuts his mouth before any sound comes out. "Okay. There's going to be a hallway up ahead. You guys go right. Leliana, come with me."

Aedan doesn't look happy, but he says nothing as Leliana and I break off from the main group once we're in the hallway. She paces me from behind, arrow loaded to her bowstring. Her boots are far quieter than my own, but we make as little noise as possible as we jog along, checking every room we come upon.

"Strange," she says as she rejoins me from checking an office.

"I don't believe I drew all of them outside," I say. I push Hope back, drawing my bow.

"Someone had to be inside to close the door, Elissa," she says.

"That's my point," I mutter. "Come on. We still have that room to check." I point down the hall and she nods, eyes narrowed on the huge door.

"Perhaps they are all back there?"

"We're about to find out," I say, jogging down to it. She follows, stopping a few feet back. I don't know what all she's doing, but I get down on my hands and knees, peeking under the door. I see a wall far, far back with lit sconces, but they suddenly extinguish.

"If that Warden glows, we'll be able to see her."

I get to my feet, nodding at Leliana.

"Stay behind the wall until I'm inside," I whisper. Leliana nods, bracing up against the wall opposite the way the door opens. I let Hope out, inhaling slowly, before slamming it open with my shoulder. Traps around the foot of the door explode, shaking the room, but I pick out the ones that are less...explosive, and avoid them, using the dust as cover.

They saw what they wanted. Now it's time to take that luxury away from them.

Hope lets me throw her back again as I roll out of the way. Leliana follows me in a moment later, hiding somewhere in the dark. Light flows in from the hallway, but it's not nearly enough to light the whole room, and the guards shout at each other to get messages across. As I sneak around behind what appears to be a large mass of them, someone calls out about intruders. I whip an arrow out, throwing it in his general direction to silence him. And it works. I hear the arrowhead slam into something fleshy, followed by gurgling noises, and then a body slumps to the floor.

"Where are you?!"

It's not my arrow that shuts him up.

* * *

><p>Alistair starts when he hears the alarm bell ringing. He's confused at first, wondering what could make Fort Drakon ring their bell. He was hoping Leliana would manage to get in without alerting the guards, but no one is perfect. He shrugs to himself.<p>

He sits in his cell, twiddling his thumbs. The prison is quiet for a long time, but then something explodes, shaking the entire building. It felt like it was coming from the main room. Leliana wouldn't be reckless enough to set off a trap. Would she? Sten might, but with Zevran and Leliana there, he's not so sure.

That's also when the bulk of the guards pour into the antechamber with Cyrus and his' cells, slamming and barricading the door behind them. What are they running from?

"Did you see where the Warden went?"

"The opposite direction, ser. We should be safe here."

The door shakes and booms, causing all of the guards to yelp. Alistair gets to his feet, going up to the bars by the door to his cell. He strains his ears to hear what's going on out in the hallway.

"Hit it again!" Aedan shouts, voice muffled by the five-inch thick metal. The door rumbles on its hinges, but stays strong. The guards let out a sigh of relief until it happens again, and then they draw their weapons, hiding behind them. "Again!"

"Archers!" The guards move in response, drawing their bowstrings back and taking aim at the door as it rattles again. They crouch just behind the first row of defenders, aiming up the stairs.

Alistair's eyes widen as the door actually breaks free, and he barely has the thought, let alone the chance, to cover his ears as it slams into the floor. The guards yelp as one, and Aedan leads the charge down the stairs, his two companions on his heels. Alistair raises an eyebrow. Where's Leliana?

_Damn it, _he thinks.

"Woah!" Aedan exclaims, sliding to a stop. "Holy-"

"Down!" Sten interrupts, shoving the Warden out of the way. The Qunari leaps after his leader, barely avoiding the first barrage of arrows.

"Zev! Get them out!"

The Antivan doesn't reply, instead opting to sheath his daggers in favor of a combustion grenade.

_Explains how they got the door open, _Alistair thinks.

The elf whips it into the row before sprinting around past, picking the lock on Alistair's lock so fast his hands are a blur.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure," the elf purrs.

"Oh, could you not?"

"No," he replies, chuckling before he moves off to Cyrus' cell. Alistair rolls his eyes, huffing.

"Aedan! Where's Elissa?"

Another explosion, much farther off, booms across the room. "Probably wherever that came from!" the Warden replies. "Get out of here! We've got Cyrus! Go!"

* * *

><p>"Run, damn it!" I snap, firing an arrow over my shoulder.<p>

"Good plan!" Leliana replies.

"I'll cover you! Get moving!" She leaps to her feet, disregarding the men below lobbing grenades and arrows up the stairs at us. She had hidden behind a wooden bench that only suffered a few scorch marks and looks no worse for the wear. I ended up hiding behind pillars, shifting positions every few minutes so I wouldn't have to keep popping out.

I glance over my shoulder as a sergeant starts to shout an order to focus on my friend. I pop out, firing an arrow into the man's uncovered neck, sending him tumbling back into his men. I check to make sure Leliana's at a safe distance before bolting after her, barely pausing to kick the door shut. I have the semblance of mind to hit it with the flat of my foot instead of breaking my toes on it. We make eye contact before silently agreeing to go find the guys, running off at s sprint. We don't get very far; the door slams open behind us and we are forced to hide in alcoves on opposite sides of the hall.

Leliana's breathing as hard as I am; I can see the rise and fall of her chest from here. "You have to."

"Doesn't mean I'm happy about it," I retort, pulling my bow over my shoulder. I peek out as the group of guards searches the rooms. "As soon as they're distracted, run." She nods, squeezing her eyes shut and doing her best to catch her breath while she has the chance. I do the same, breathing through my nose. "Ready?"

"As I will ever be."

I take a deep breath, dropping control to Hope again. The spirit floods my mind, my desires, my worries, everything, until the only part of me that's left is my body. I give her everything, and she takes it, following through with my end of the deal. Leliana bolts the instant it is safe to while Hope throws arrows and fireballs down the hall like she's hunting. With her there instead of me, the guards drop much faster, and quickly enough, the hallway is clear.

"Leliana?" Hope calls.

"Here," the Orlesian replies, stepping out into view from down the hall. "You are not...?"

"I am not," Hope says stiffly.

"Oh. Uh...good."

"Do not lie, mortal," the spirit snaps as she pushes past the bard. "I know what you think of me, of Elissa. Whether or not she chooses to, now that's something different." Leliana just looks confused. "You think of me as a monster that your friend cannot control. You think I use her. You think I murder people. You think we are an abomination."

"I do not!" Leliana snaps furiously.

"Which part?" Hope asks softly, freezing. "Tell me that the next time we get to talk."


	39. Warden Armor

_Please review guys!_

I don't get to say a word to Alistair until we are long gone, well on our way to Highever. We decided to go to a town called Haven as a group, and then Aedan would take four others to the Dalish, dropping off our findings in Redcliffe.

"It's getting late," I say. "We should stop."

Aedan shrugs, but nods, calling it back to the others. Then he looks at me, expression serious. "I didn't get to thank you yet."

I raise an eyebrow. "For what?"

"For keeping Leliana safe back there," Aedan says.

I snort. "I did nothing. Hope just freaked her out while we were trying to get away from the guards."

"Still...she's alive and...okay-ish, and only because you were willing to risk letting Hope out," my brother says.

"She's my friend," I say, shrugging. "And she means a lot to you." My twin smiles, putting a hand on my shoulder and squeezing before he falls back to the others. I look down to the south, hesitating. The darkspawn would be well past Lothering by now. I just hope some people escaped. I'd feel like a failure as a Warden if...I don't even want to think about it.

There are more and more people dying each day we lag behind. Each day we waste on the road, more darkspawn kill more Fereldans. More of our countrymen fall with each passing second.

I turn on my heel, the last significant nightmare about darkspawn fresh in my mind.

_I know you are there, Warden. _The Archdemon said that. It taunted me.

As I walk into our swiftly appearing camp, Alistair smiles at me, a cocky grin making me feel lighter. I return the gesture, but march right into the center of the camp where everyone can see me.

"I'm running ahead," I say. The entire camp freezes and all of my companions look at me, varying expressions on their faces.

"Why?" Leliana asks.

"I've been thinking since we left Denerim," I say. "The darkspawn are past Lothering, and whether Loghain wants to step up and take charge or not, someone needs to have men patrolling the southern reaches of Ferelden."

"You want to get to Highever and send our men there," Aedan says. Whomever doesn't believe that twins can read each others' minds is totally stupid. Aedan and I do it all the time, and we're not even the same gender. Still twins, but not identical.

"I'll meet up with you guys on the way out," I say, nodding. "I might even get some people out to spread the truth about Loghain."

"No one will believe you," Talith says, rubbing a pair of very bloodshot eyes. We found some raw lyrium in some weird lab while we were fleeing Fort Drakon and I grabbed it for him. He looks so much better now, but he'll have to go back with Aedan to the Dalish to restock once we're done with Eamon. "I have learned one thing about Fereldans while I've been with you, Warden, and that's that none of you believe people who have been disgraced."

"If we knock Anora off the throne and get rid of Loghain, my brother is next in line for the throne, Talith," I say. "Not...not Aedan. Fergus, sorry."

"Would Ferelden be happy with that decision?" he asks.

"Without Loghain, Anora is nothing but a widow. Ferelden would be perfectly happy with it."

"You are underestimating many of our countrymen," Talith says, shaking his head.

"I like to believe people are naturally good," I say.

Morrigan snorts a laugh. "Then you are more naïve than Alistair."

I shrug. "I'm going. Good luck." I make eye contact with Alistair before I walk up to him, embracing him once. I stand up on my toes, whispering, "I love you."

He hugs me back; the plates on his new armor dig into my shoulder. "I love you, too." I pull away, and he says, "Be careful."

"When am I not?"

"You don't want me to answer that." I grin at him before I turn and run off into the night.

* * *

><p>It's almost dawn when I see the familiar castle as I crest a hill, and for some odd reason, I can't keep the grin off my face as I run up to the walls. Soldiers patrol the fields, farmers work their crops. It looks like Highever has improved under my mother's rule. It didn't look anything like this when Howe was in charge, and it definitely didn't look like this when my father was, but it's getting back to normal. We're so far north up here that if the Blight reaches these grounds, Ferelden has probably been lost.<p>

I stop to catch my breath, using a fence post to support myself as I can pant. My lungs ache, and my legs do especially, but I'm alive, and I'm here, excited to tell my family what happened in Denerim.

Er...most of it, anyway. I'm sure Fergus and my mother wouldn't be very thrilled to hear about Alistair.

Recovered, I grab my bow from its resting place against the wood post and continue down the dirt path. A patrol I pass sends out a messenger bird to the castle. They nod as well, smiling. I return the gesture, more than glad to be back on familiar soil.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry, miss?" a guard asks.

"Off to tell my family the best thing they're ever going to hear," I reply.

"Is Howe dead?" he asks.

"You bet," I say.

He grins, as does his patrol. "That's going to be the best thing Highever's ever heard."

"I'm not sure about that, but it's up there," I say, turning and bouncing backwards in a half-jog. "How's it been lately?"

"Much better with the Teyrna reinstated," he says.

"Fantastic. Well, good morning!"

"May the Maker watch over you, Warden!" he calls.

It's barely dawn, and I'm already having a good day.

I do not have a very long way to go, and it only takes me another five minutes of running to come upon the portcullis. I find it open and my brother waiting for me, grinning. He looks much the same as he had before; sort of scruffy, but not in a bad way, and he's always smiling or laughing or grinning. His armor, a dull brown color, is freshly cleaned, and his sword is strapped to his back.

"Fergus!" I exclaim, returning his grin as he pulls me into a hug. "How have you been?"

He shrugs as he releases me. "Could be better. Could be worse. I have spent the past few weeks assuring mother you and Aedan would be fine." He raises and eyebrow. "Have you?"

"Well..." I shrug, too. "I'll need to think about that. I'll tell you when I tell mother. For now-"

"Elissa!"

I look past my brother's shoulder to see our mother standing out in the middle of the courtyard in a dress, arms clasped in front of her. She's smiling, somehow, and I try to make the smile I return the best I can. It hasn't been long since father would have been buried, but long enough that the black clothing and ribbons that would've been hung around the castle are gone.

"Get out of there. They need to close the portcullis," she says, beckoning Fergus and I forward. I snort in amusement, shaking my head. Definitely my mother. Always business first and everything else second.

"What? No 'hello'? Well, then I think I-"

She hugs me before I can finish my sentence and I laugh, hugging her back. "You're in so much trouble!"

"Why?" I ask, pulling away. "What did I do?"

She rolls her eyes, motioning for Fergus and I to follow her into the hall. Highever's banners are up, much the same as they were when we left. Guards stand at attention every ten feet, eyes locked on some distant point above the guard across from them's head. I look to the right, at the same door that practically sealed Aedan and me's fate. The same door Duncan walked through almost five months ago, lying to our father and telling him he wanted to investigate Ser Gilmore when he was really here for us.

Mother sits in a chair off to the side, set at the head of at table. Fergus sits on her right, but I sit down at chair to the left, acting like at guest. I need to remember this isn't my home anymore.

"You're in trouble for letting us worry about you for Maker knows how long!"

I raise an eyebrow. "I'm fighting a Blight, mother. I have other things and other people on my mind everyday of the week."

Fergus smirks. "Like the blond Warden that got injured during the fighting? What was his name again? Alistair?"

I sigh, massaging my temples. "For one, yes. I have eight other people to worry about, though."

Mother clears her throat to get our attention and we look back to her, waiting for her to speak. "Tell us, Elissa. How has your party fared since you departed?"

"Depends on what's going on," I say with about shrug of my shoulders. "We got to the Circle and found it in chaos. Demons had infested many of the mages and we rescued who we could, getting them to pledge their allegiance to the cause as well. We went to Redcliffe afterwards and found it even worse off. Apparently, Connor's a mage, and he accidentally tore the Veil, accepting a demon's offer in the process. It used him to send undead out and attack the village while keeping Eamon alive. Isolde had hired a tutor, an apostate, to train Connor in secret, but he had been hired to poison the Arl, so that's what he did. After we solved the demon problem there, we went to Denerim to speak with a man named Genitivi, who has been researching the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Isolde wants us to find them, as she believes they'll heal her husband. On the road there, Howe's men attacked us and poisoned our friend, Leliana. Alistair and I ran into the Brecilian Forest in search of the Dalish to help her. Got attacked by werewolves. Boring story."

"That's all?" Fergus asks.

"No, I need to catch my breath," I say, laughing as I heave in a lungful. "So, while we were in Denerim, we went after small things at first, like Alistair's sister and a woman trying to kill Leliana. The next day, we were supposed to go find Brother Genitivi, but Howe and Loghain had caught wind of our presence in the city, so they separated us four-the Wardens-from the rest of the group. Howe took Aedan and I for obvious reasons while Loghain took Alistair and Cyrus, a Nevarran Warden we picked up when the Crows tried to kill us."

"Howe captured you?!" mother demands.

I shrug, grinning. "This is the part I've wanted to get to." I rub my hands together, sliding my chair forward. "Howe is dead. I killed him." Mother's eyes widen and Fergus' jaw drops.

"Howe's dead?" he asks, disbelief coloring his voice.

"I killed him myself."

"Are you sure?" mother asks.

"I made sure there wasn't enough left of him to bury." They both sit back in their chairs, expressions unreadable. "Well?"

Fergus slams his hand on the table so suddenly it startles me. I jump, eyes widening. "I think it's about time the bastard got what he deserved." He looks to his left, raising an eyebrow at our stony faced mother. "How do you feel about this?"

She blinks, looking at me. "Was there anything else you needed, Elissa? Or did you just want to tell us about Howe?"

"Um, well, I thought about this all the way here, and I was kind of hoping we could spare men to patrol the southern lands until the Bannorn's civil war is resolved and the banns could do it," I say, rubbing the back of my neck. "And we could use some food. Supplies in general."

"Yes, we can do that," she says, nodding. "Fergus, attend to it immediately. I need to talk with your sister privately."

"Of course," he says, getting to his feet. Mother watches him leave, waiting for the oak doors to slam shut behind him before looking to me.

"How are you, Elissa?"

"Me? Perfectly fine," I say. "Aedan seems just as well, too."

"I meant with being a Warden," she says. "Are you happy doing what you do?"

I snort, shrugging. "It's not necessarily a happy job, but I have friends where I am, friends who don't care if I'm a mage."

"Let me rephrase that then. Do you like being a Grey Warden?"

"Well, it's what got me to Howe. I...met Alistair here. I've wanted to be a soldier since I was little. I've wanted to be a Warden just as long. I do like it. There's nothing I could ask for, really. I kill darkspawn for a living."

She sighs, running a hand through her grey hair. "I just want you to be safe."

"Being a Warden isn't safe," I say. "The darkspawn...them and the Archdemon know where we are at every minute of every they're monsters; horrible monsters that I have to kill. And I'm fine with that."

"Oh Elissa," she says, sounding defeated. "You weren't supposed to grow up like this. I just want you and your brother to be children stealing food from the larder again."

Smiling, I say, "We'll never be that young again, but we're still here, and we always will be."

She smiles back. "I love you. So did your father, despite how he acted." Mother hesitates before adding, "And I'm very proud of you."

"I love you, too mother."

"Well, come. I'd like to give you something we found in Duncan's room."

I raise an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Magnificent." She gets to her feet then, walking out of the room and heading deeper into the castle.

* * *

><p>"I can't accept this," I say quickly, shaking my hands for emphasis.<p>

"It was labeled 'recruit'," she says. "It's meant for you or Aedan. I'd give it to him, but he has the Cousland family sword and shield. Take it."

"Mother, I...I can't. It's Warden armor, for Maker's sake! It's ridiculously recognizable!"

"So? Wear it with pride, darling."

"But...I just...I don't know if I should," I mutter. I reach out, running a hand down the front of the chest plate. I sigh, saying, "But I will. It's nice armor, after all."

"Yes, yes it is."

Someone knocks at the door. "There are Grey Wardens here to see you, miss."

"Excellent," mother says. "Tell them I'll be right out." She looks at me. "It's yours if you want. We'll be out in the hall." I nod, eyes stuck on the silver and blue armor before me. Do I really want this? I mean, I'm practically saying 'Yeah, I'm a Warden. Come kill me' to all of my enemies if I do. But on the other hand...

Oh fuck it. It'll get the point across to the dwarves and elves.


	40. The Frostbacks

_Argh review please!_

Bodahn and Sandal agreed to meet my group up by Orzammar once we were through hunting for the Urn. Until the break in the road, they'll be sticking with us. And I'm up in their cart right now, holding my head in my hands through the blinding rage of a headache. I didn't want to waste one of our healing potions, so I waved the offered one off, deciding to tough it out. Part of me wishes I'd just taken the damn potion.

Another four days to be wasted on the road. Damn it, we don't have time to blow on running around.

"Stop!" I yell, wincing as I get to my feet and hop out of the cart. Aedan, who had been walking at the front with Alistair, stops and looks over his shoulder.

"What is it?"

"An idea," I say. "Gather around. You all need to hear it." I wait for the group to bunch up, squishing against each other. "We're wasting time."

"We can't just...appear where we want, Elissa," Wynne says.

I shake my head. "No, we can't, but we can split up now and get more treaties completed faster."

"Split up now?" Aedan asks.

"Yes," I say. "You can take four of us back towards Soldier's Peak, and then down to the Dalish."

"I thought you wanted us to stick around to run our findings down to Redcliffe?" he asks.

"I did, but I'll just have to do it once we get done. Meet us in Highever," I say. "If you haven't heard from us within a month, assume the worst and have mother call for the Landsmeet without us." I reach into my pack, pulling out the scroll marked for the Dalish. I pass it to my brother. He tucks it away in his own pack, patting it to make sure it's safe.

"Anything else?" Aedan asks. I shake my head. "Okay. Leliana, Wynne, Sten, and...Wolf. Let's go." My mabari looks up at me to see if he's allowed to go, and I nod, waving the dog after my brother. The party of five heads back towards Highever, obviously intending to go to Soldier's Peak first.

"Now what?" Alistair asks.

"Now we head to Haven and see what's up there."

"Well, obviously," he says. "But what if something happens to them?"

"Then we go find them."

He shrugs. "I suppose."

I just shrug back, turning on my heel once my brother is gone from sight. "Bodahn, you'll stick to the original plan and head up to Orzammar when we get to the turn-off."

"Aye, miss," he says, nodding.

Then I begin the four-day march to Haven, stiff-backed and worried. I look back once, hoping to see Aedan for just a few more seconds. But they're long gone, heading off to make a difference. I square my shoulders. I need to do that. I need to make sure that the five of us complete our jobs. Meaning I need to keep my head straight.

Easier said than done.

"Warden?" Zev says, jogging up to my side. I look up from my feet, raising a questioning eyebrow. "The snow will be starting on this side of Ferelden, no?"

"It will," I agree, nodding.

"Then is it not a poor decision to start pushing through to the mountains?"

"Probably."

When I say nothing further, he falls back alongside Cyrus, both of them shooting goofy looks at my back. I ignore them, though, instead opting to jog up a steep hill. I stare out across the barren land, searching the mountains. The Frostbacks are huge, bigger than I ever could have imagined. The mountain range stretches all the way up and down Ferelden, forming an effective barrier between us and Orlais. Unless the Orlesians are trying to help us. Then...not so much.

"Alistair!" Zev exclaims happily.

Perhaps I should've continued our conversation, if only to spare Alistair the embarrassment of talking to Zevran.

"Ugh," he says, sighing. "What?"

"So...the royal bastard and the noblewoman?"

"Dear Maker," I say, huffing. Cyrus chuckles, shaking his head. I look back at Alistair, but his face is so red it's hard to not laugh. "Zev, I swear I'll hit you if you continue with that."

"Really? Where?"

I pause for the briefest of moments. If I say what I want to, he'll have some comeback and that'll continue the argument. "Upside the head."

"Aww. Fine. I'll leave your not-so-innocent Templar alone."

"Good." I look up at the sky, squinting. Storm clouds. _Blizzard _clouds. "Great." I shake my head before starting down the hill at a run, jumping the last few feet to stop my momentum.

_What's snow? _Hope asks, not content with being ignored and left out of the loop.

_Did you really just ask me that? You know just about everything, and you don't know what snow is? Andraste's tits, you're an idiot sometimes. _

_Glad to see you're talking to me like I'm one of your friends, Elissa. _

_You're not. _

_That's my point. _

_I hate you. _

_So I have noticed. _

I flex my fingers, getting an odd sense of satisfaction when the metal plates roll over my knuckles. This armor is...I don't even have words for it. Despite how recognizable it is, I just feel comfortable in it. I'm not a big fan of the bright blue clothes that go underneath it, but whatever. It works, and as of now, I couldn't care less about the huge griffon stamped on the chest plate.

"Anyone see the pass we need?" I call back to them. Yesterday we crossed the tip of Lake Calenhad, splitting up with Bodahn and Sandal again. I told my companions to keep an eye out for a break in the mountains, but we haven't seen anything yet.

"I could fly ahead," Morrigan sugggests.

"That's risky," Talith says.

"But helpful," Alistair retorts.

"I can sense darkspawn from here," Cyrus adds. "We need to get off open ground so they can't find us."

"You what?!" Alistair demands.

"I've been a Warden much longer than either of you," Cyrus snaps. "It's easier for me to sense them. I know when they're coming a lot earlier than you do."

"Would've been nice if you'd mentioned that before," I say.

"What's done is done," Cyrus says. "Regardless of what you choose, there are darkspawn approaching from the south, and I'm not sure if we'd be able to defeat that large of a force. We need to be in the mountains by nightfall or they'll be close enough to sense us."

"Fantastic," I say, sighing. I run a hand through my pale blond hair, looking south, and then back at the Frostbacks. "Morrigan, fly ahead. I'll get them as close to the mountains as I can before we start paralleling them."

The witch nods, backing away from Talith before shifting into a raven and flying off.

"I have a bad feeling about all of this, Warden," Talith says, eyes locked on the raven slowly disappearing. "I hope you know what you are doing."

"So do I," I say softly, turning away from my party again. "Come on. I'm starting to sense the darkspawn as well." Just as the words are from my mouth, the tingling sensation fills my body, making my skin crawl. I look at Alistair and he nods, rubbing his arm through the plating over it. "Yeah. We need to move."

I pull my bow from its place in my quiver, grabbing the bowstring from my pocket. I unstrung it last night and never restrung it this morning. I do so now, tying the ends of the cord to the tips of my bow. I tug on the string with my forefinger, and when I can't pull it back, I nod, satisfied.

"How heavy's that draw weight?" Talith asks.

"Heavy enough to punch through your armor," I say, drawing several arrows. I hold them in the same hand I hold my bow in before I start jogging. I wait for them to catch up before I start into a run, and then move into a sprint. The flat ground makes it easier to run, and we keep our sprint for several minutes until we have to slow to a jog.

"How you holding up Talith?" I ask.

"I'll be fine if you give me a lyrium potion," he says, running his metal-clad hand down his face. I toss him one from my pack. "Thank you, Warden."

"You can call me Elissa, you know," I say.

"But you are a Grey Warden, and our leader," he says flatly, voice as empty and emotionless as ever. "You should be addressed as such, should you not?"

I glance at Alistair, laughing a little. "We're not very formal as of now. We have more important things to worry about than formalities. Besides, you're my friend whether you like it or not. I won't respond to 'Warden' from you any longer."

"As you wish."

"It's okay, Talith. She will not let Hope eat you," Zevran says.

Talith and I both seem exasperated by that comment. Hope seems a little more than angry, but controls herself so we can resume our running. I take the lead, eyes scouring all the cracks and breaks in the Frostbacks for a path large enough for three horses to ride abreast.

"There!" Cyrus says, pointing. I follow his hand, grinning when I see it.

"Nice eye."

"I am a rogue you know." He grins back at me, tugging at the scars on his lips. "Better than you."

"I'm a mage," I retort.

"Trained as a rogue."

"Oh shut up." The Nevarran Warden laughs, shaking his head in amusement. "But hey, maybe it'll be warm up there. Maybe they'll let us head on out and look around tomorrow."

"Or maybe they'll kill us like they did to Weylon," Talith says.

"Always the optimist."

"Eternally, Elissa."

I roll my eyes. "Since when do you have a sense of humor?"

"I've always had one," the elf Templar says. "I've just had a slight filter since joining the Templars. We are taught to be respectful."

I look at Alistair and back to Talith. "Respectful?"

"Hey!"

I laugh, looking forward, but that's when the tingling becomes unbearable. As I trip and fall, I hear two more follow suit behind me.

_Kill the humans. Burn them. _

The voice rips through my skull with a vengeance, making me deaf to the outside world. I hug my head and I think I scream, but I hear nothing. Someone grabs my upper arm, hauling me to my feet, but I just fall again, ears ringing. The person pulls me upright again, shaking my shoulders to get my attention. I blink, focusing on Talith's grey eyes to right myself.

"It's the Archdemon," I breathe. "It...it's _talking _to the darkspawn."

"What?" Talith says.

_You will burn. _

I cover my ears, squeezing my eyes shut in pain. Holy Maker...

"Darkspawn!" Zev shouts. He's back with Alistair and Cyrus, trying to get them moving. "On your feet, Wardens! We must go!"

"How can I hear it?!" I am shaking, trembling so badly I drop my bow and the arrows I was holding. "Make it stop!"

"Elissa! We _have _to go!" Talith says urgently. The part of me that can still function is surprised by the show of emotion. He pulls me up again and I barely have the willpower to grab my weapons. "Move!" He pushes me forward, but I keep my footing, leading the way blindly. I glance back, and the two of them are helping the other two Wardens to their feet, dragging them along. Behind them, a whole raiding party of darkspawn sprint in our direction, screaming in loud voices. Zev manages to get Cyrus moving, but Talith lags behind with Alistair, who trips and stumbles and falls so many times I lose count.

They're not going to make it.

I can't even think straight, much less see straight enough to risk shooting my bow. I don't know what to do! Never in my life have I felt so helpless!

There's one thing I can do. One Maker-damn thing I hate doing. Using magic.

Something screams behind me just as I ready the healing spell. I turn as I cast it, but I turn into a shriek, and it shoves a fist of shadowy claws straight through my abdomen.

* * *

><p>Aedan smiles at Leliana, but she's concentrating on her trap as she pulls the pieces together. He's just happy to sit there and watch her when she's not frowning. She glances up at him through her bangs, rolling those eyes he loves so much before looking back down. She tugs on a thick cord and snaps it up, closing the jaws.<p>

"That will suffice," the Orlesian says, tucking it away into her pack. Aedan does not reply; he continues staring, completely happy with watching her move. Leliana looks at him and rolls her eyes again. "You should be glad Morrigan is not here."

He blinks, sitting up straight. "What?"

She laughs, shaking her head as she gets to her feet. They stopped at a path through the hills to wait for Levi Dryden, the man who asked for their assistance. He said he had something to attend to in Highever before joining them.

"No, seriously," Aedan says, getting up and following her back to her tent. "What did you say?"

She sighs, throwing her pack inside before planting her hands on her hips and looking up at him. "I _said _you should be glad Elissa took Morrigan."

Aedan laughs, saying, "I'm sure they're getting an earful for their looks."

Leliana shrugs. "Do you think the same happened to them?"

Aedan raises an eyebrow. "The same?"

"What happened to you earlier," she says, exasperated. "You said you could hear the Archdemon talking about killing Wardens. Do you think they heard it?"

"The Archdemon is only worried about those of us in Ferelden at the moment," Aedan whispers, sitting on the ground. He pulls out a few strands of grass. "I haven't sensed any darkspawn in Maker-knows-how-long. It was probably talking about them. They are closer to the horde than I am. It would be able to sense three Wardens, and Elissa already told me about a dream where it talked directly to her. It knows we're here, Leliana. And it knows that there are only four of us, and it knows we're cut off from any and all assistance." The bard had sat down beside him while he was talking, and he'd been tying the grass together as he talked, weaving it into a bracelet. He smirks faintly before handing it to her. "It was probably talking to darkspawn on the surface, telling them to search and kill us."

"You should not worry," Leliana says, inspecting the grass woven together in the palm of her hand. "They will be safe."

"I hope so," he says.

"You do not sound like you believe that," she replies. The man shrugs, looking off into the distance. "Trust me, Aedan. They will be fine. Alistair is a good warrior, as is Talith. Zevran and Cyrus are amazing at what they do, and Morrigan is a powerful mage. Elissa...Elissa has the spirit to help her. They will be fine."

He laughs once, weakly, as he looks back down at his hands. He shakes his head, too, saying, "Never thought I'd be doing this."

"Doing what? Being a Grey Warden?"

Aedan looks up at her, smirking. "Well, there's also that, but I've wanted to be a Warden since my sister put the idea in my head."

"Then what?"

"I didn't think I'd end up fighting a Blight with a possessed mage, an Orlesian, and a royal bastard," he says. "They're the best people I know. One is my twin, and I love her more than anything. The other is my best friend, almost like another brother. And then there's the Orlesian. I've never liked Orlesians, and whether or not that's because of my sister's feelings on them I'll never know. But this Orlesian is different. She's actually Fereldan, but grew up in Orlais. She might have an Orlesian accent, but she's still understandable. She's smart, kind, and the most wonderful person I know. I've been in a lot of relationships, all of them fake and horrible, all political. But this Orlesian, the relationship I have with her is the only one I've ever actually enjoyed. It's the only one I've felt should be taken seriously. It's the only one I haven't had to try so hard in. She makes me feel like I could do anything, and she likes me for me. I would do anything for her, be anything she needed. I'd die for her if I had to. And I love her. I've loved her since I first saw her in Lothering, but I don't know if she loves me back."

Leliana looks away, and much to Aedan's strange satisfaction, she's blushing.

"Well? Does she?"

"It is only a good story if she says she loves someone else," Leliana replies softly.

"I'm okay if it's a bad story, then," Aedan says. "I'd even be happier if it was." Leliana stays silent for a long time. Aedan even starts to worry with how long she's quiet.

"Yes."

* * *

><p>Alistair forces his body to move, forces himself to pick one foot up and put it in front of the other. Talith and Zevran shout encouragements at him, telling him to keep moving while they haul Cyrus along. He can't see Elissa, and it worries him, but he knows she's fine. She has to be. He's not sure what he would do if she wasn't.<p>

"Move, Templar!" Morrigan's voice snaps him to attention as she pushes him aside, heading back the way they came. The darkspawn have long since left them behind, but for what reason he's not sure. Alistair is fine with not knowing just as long as that means the Archdemon is done talking inside of his head. "Where's Elissa?"

"Up ahead somewhere," Alistair mumbles, waving over his shoulder at the witch.

"I came from the trail!" Morrigan snarls, marching back up to the group. "No one is there. I saw nothing. She is not there."

Alistair's head snaps up. "She's _missing_?!"

"Apparently so," Morrigan says, annoyed. "I'd think you of all people would notice."

Alistair throws his hands up. "I'm sorry, but there was a damn Archdemon talking inside of my head less than three hours ago! Cyrus is still unconscious! What did you want me to think?!"

"You always assume the worst," Morrigan says solemnly, "and take the pleasure in finding out you were wrong." She shakes her head.

"We have to find her!" Alistair says.

"Well obviously!" Morrigan snaps.

"Stop fighting!" Talith exclaims. "We have more important things to worry about!" He glares at the two of them, annoyed at their bickering. "Done?" The two nod. "Good. Now the last place I saw her worry as back where the darkspawn attacked us. Did anyone see her after that?"

"No," Alistair says. He looks up at Zevran, but he shakes his head.

"Then we go back," Talith says simply. "Morrigan, stay here with Cyrus. We'll go back and see if we can find her."


	41. Lucky

_So this is by far the LONGEST chapter in the story, but it's still not that long. I think. I don't know. I like short chapters. You can just read one and go do whatever you need to. It's like a really easy marker since you can't bookmark these. And I'm sorry how long it took me to get these up; I had Thanksgiving break and didn't get back from it until today :/. _

_Well, here you go! I caught all of the stupid autocorrect bullcrap, and hopefully didn't miss any of the breaks in the chapter. It switches between groups several times. O.o Don't judge me lol. Unless you're judging my writing. Which I love. Review please! I love reading them and responding (although none of the ones I've responded to have replied back). Thanks to all who've favorited, followed, and reviewed! You guys are AWESOME! _

Alistair understands why she freaks out when she can't find him. He's slowly dying on the inside, worried beyond belief, and that's when he steps on something. His boot crunches, pushing the bow deeper into the ground. His eyes widen and he calls for Zevran and Talith to join him while he picks it up.

"This belongs to her," he says. "She wouldn't have dropped it unless something happened." He squeezes his fist around the grip, suddenly furious.

"She's nearby," Talith assures him. Alistair doesn't feel any better though. The elf never talks with emotion, and when he does, it's just creepy.

"That's if the darkspawn didn't take her," Zevran says.

"Can we not talk about that?" Alistair snaps. "Elissa is fine. She _has _to be."

Talith puts a hand on his shoulder, smiling weakly. "We will find her, Alistair. Come on. She's close; I know it."

The Templar nods, unable to talk, as the two elves leave him again, searching the grass. He just stands there, holding her bow in his hand. He squeezes the grip harder than he's ever squeezed anything, and his knuckles turn white. He glares at the ground.

_This can't be happening, _he thinks.

He yells in frustration before kicking at the grass and resuming his search. He quests out farther from the others, trying to calm himself down enough that he doesn't want to punch the next thing he sees.

And that's when he sees the silver shining in the grass thirty feet away. Big enough to be a body. "Elissa!" She doesn't move, and he runs closer, sliding to a stop a few feet away. She's as still as a corpse. Alistair starts panicking and he drops her bow, dropping to his knees beside her. The Warden is facedown in the dirt, unmoving, and barely breathing. Her shoulders don't move like they should. They barely even twitch.

But she's alive, and that's all he cares about. He sits on the ground, fumbling around in his pack for a healing potion when someone's hand catches his. He looks up as Talith hands him one that's already opened before walking away. Frantic, he rolls her over and pulls her head onto his lap before forcing the foul-smelling liquid down her throat. After a few seconds, her breathing picks up and she starts coughing, but when her eyes open, she flips, throwing herself away from him.

* * *

><p><em>You are lucky to be alive, <em>Hope says.

_I'm lucky you healed me, that's what, _I snap.

_I did no such thing. _

I start coughing as something is forced down my throat. Tastes horrible. Peppery and dirt flavored. Healing potion.

I open my eyes, but they lock on a pair of worried hazel ones staring at me, and I start, throwing myself away from him as fast as I can. My heart races, pounding in my ears. My vision is sort of hazy and my breaths come in labored gasps, but I'm all right otherwise.

"Elissa?"

My heart breaks at the sound of Alistair's voice. I spent all day lying on the ground, feeling as if I was going to die here, and then...he just...he saved my life.

I throw my arms around him, shaking. I choke on a relieved sob when he wraps his arms around me, feeling his breath on my neck. He's laughing from the shock of everything, but all I can do is find comfort in his arms, more than glad to have someone here for me.

"I thought I'd lost you," he whispers into my hair.

"I...I don't know why that bothers you," I say. "I'm nothing. I'm just me."

"Do you not believe me when I say I love you?" Alistair asks.

"I don't believe it when anyone says it," I say softly. "Mages aren't loved. We're hated. All of us, no matter what we do or who we are."

"Then you're the exception," he says, squeezing me again before pulling away. He cocks his head to the side, frowning. "But come on. We've wasted enough time. We need to heal Eamon."

I nod, accepting the help he offers after he stands.

"Feel up to running?" Talith asks as he and Zev join us. "Morrigan came down while you were...here. Said she found Haven. And at the tip of the mountain, a temple." He hesitates before adding, "Guarded by a crazed cult and...their pet high dragon."

My jaw drops.

"They're expecting us," Zev says. "Do not expect an easy walk."

Sighing, I say, "When is it ever?" I find my bow and the arrows scattered nearby, pulling the former over my shoulder. "Well, let's get to it."

* * *

><p>Aedan picks up the flask outside of Avernus' laboratory, swishing the strange liquid inside of it around. He glances at his party members, smirking in a sadistic manner.<p>

"If I drop dead, you all know what to tell my family," he says, popping the cork. Leliana opens her mouth to stop him, but the nobleman is already pouring the concoction down his throat. He feels already rush, much like the one he feels before, during, and after combat. A shiver runs down his spine, but he feels fine. Great, even.

"Er...are you sure that was a good idea?" Levi asks.

Aedan shrugs, tossing the vial aisde. It shatters on the stone floor as he leads them after the wizened Grey Warden mage. "I read his notes before heading in. I decided to go for it while you were talking to the man." He shrugs again. "Who knows? Maybe I'll start glowing too."

"That is not something to joke about," Wynne says, irritated. "It could happen to me at any time, and to any other mage who has a bond similar to ours."

"I apologize," Aedan says, holding the door for the enchanter. Leliana even glares, but it is half-hearted, and the man smiles at her after Wolf brings up the rear through the door. Avernus is barely halfway across the bridge, but by the time they catch up, he's made it to the opposite door, and is leading the way back into the main building with the creepy glowing portal. It leads to the Fade according to the mage.

"I must seal this," Avernus says, gesturing to the portal. "But demons will come through and resist all attempts. You need to protect me, Warden."

Aedan nods, drawing the sword he's always wanted to weild. "We'll cover you. Seal it."

The mage doesn't respond. He runs into one of the summoning circles, and his hands start pulsing with magical energy. Aedan turns just in time to see several shades appear from the ground.

"At least training as a Templar will benefit me now," he mutters, shrugging his shield onto his forearm. "If there's one thing Alistair is good for, it's that."

"There is also Talith," Leliana remarks.

"Talith creeps me out." And with that comment, Aedan leaps into the fray, ducking under the first swipe of the demon's claws. He spins and shoves the silver sword up into the shade's armpit, covering his face when it explodes with a puff. "I'm really starting to hate this!"

"You've killed one thing!"

"I'm lazy!"

Leliana laughs, shaking her head. "Down!" The Warden drops, allowing his bard-counterpart to blast an arrow into the shade on his left.

"You're starting to get good!" Aedan teases as he straightens. "Almost as good as my sister."

Leliana snorts, ignoring him. She does keep up with the others, matching each kill they all make with two of her own. Aedan evens takes it far enough as to count how many they've each killed. He loses track after a rage demon rakes lava-encrusted claws down his shoulder, rending his armor to nothing. And for some reason, that pisses him off. He's had this armor since Ostagar, and he'll admit it, he's gotten a little sentimental. Annoyed, he whips around to face it, charging the demon without hesitation. It seems surprised, just staring at him, until he leaps, shoving the blade up under its muzzle.

"Bitch," he snaps, kicking at the ash on the ground. He spins again, leaping at the Desire demon coming from the portal. He bashes it with his shield, throwing it back into the portal. The demon shrieks as it seals behind it, and Avernus collapses, bracing himself on his knees.

"It's over," he says, breathing heavily. "Soldier's Peak is safe once again."

* * *

><p>I duck, covering my head, as Morrigan's fireball whizzes past, slamming into the chest of a cultist.<p>

"Damn it, Morrigan!" I snap, drawing an arrow. "I need my hair!"

"Hair is not a necessity, Elissa!"

I huff, launching my arrow into the neck of a dragonling approaching Talith from behind. It flips before collapsing in a puddle of blood, covering his silver boots in gore. We continue fighting in this room until there is nothing left to fight, and then we continue on, breaking into all of the side chambers of this maze of tunnels in a hunt for their leader. All we find are more cultists, dragons, dragonlings, and a library that could rival the Circle's. Alistair and I grab a few books on various things. I don't see what he takes, but I take things dealing with magic and possession. I want to know if what's happened to me and Hope and Wynne and Faith has happened before.

I _need _to know.

I'm still rearranging my pack when we come upon a large cavern filled with more cultists. My party reaches for their weapons, wary, but the cultists just sneer at us, leaving their weapons in their scabbards.

"You will go no further!" a man snaps, stepping forward. He has a huge battleaxe strapped to his back.

"Oh? And why's that?" I ask.

"Because you've killed our children and destroyed our home," he says. "But...we will consider allowing you past on one condition."

"I don't work for cultists."

He ignores me, pulling a small vial from his pocket. "I am Kolgrim-"

"Nice to meet you," I interrupt. "But we're not doing anything for you. We want the Urn, and that's it."

He sneers, throwing the vial aside. "To arms! The Faithful will stand triumphant!"

That battleaxe...holy mother of-

I roll, drawing an arrow in the process. The axe splits the air where I was a moment ago, but the man whips, raising the weapon faster than I thought could be possible. The rest of my companions busy themselves with the two mages and the other cultists, fending them off as quickly as possible. They throw spells at Morrigan and I mainly, trying to keep us from supporting the others, but Morrigan blocks most of the ones directed at her, and I avoid them, whipping off arrows at random intervals. Kolgrim keeps on me, swinging the axe at my feet and torso, chasing me right into the line of spells. I'm not sure how I manage to avoid the ice spell that threatens to catch my shoulder, but I do, and I shoot my next arrow at the mage three feet away. At that close a distance, he has no chance to avoid it, and the arrowhead rips through his chest, launching him back. I start to get to my feet, but I hear Kolgrim's boots on the stone floor. I roll again, coming up on my knees. I twist at the waist as I load another arrow, aiming this one for his exposed neck.

My arrow hits its mark and Kolgrim, the man I can only assume was the leader, falls dead several feet away, staining the stones red.

"Watch out!" I turn to the voice as Talith turns. But he doesn't get his shield up, and a blade clips him, cutting his entire upper arm wide open. The reaver slams the flat of his greatsword into Talith's chest and knocks the elf off his feet, throwing him back. Morrigan yells, but just...freezes, so I scramble to my feet, knocking an arrow and firing faster than I can blink. The arrow bounces off his shoulder and he ignores me, raising his weapon above his head. I reevaluate as quickly as I can, but the only thing I can think of is shooting his hand, and Talith could still be hurt if he drops the sword at the right angle.

My eyes land on the side of his head, frowning. I can see the eyeslit from here, but I only get a side view. That's going to be a hard shot to make.

But somehow the easiest option I have.

Only seconds pass, but that's all the time I need, and I take aim at the inside of the reaver's helmet, firing when I'm sure I have it lined up right. The arrow rips across the bridge of his nose, skims his eyes, and causes him to stumble back. Talith pushes himself out of the man's way as he stumbles forward. Alistair is there a moment later, ending the reaver's suffering.

I look around as Cyrus and Zev finish off the other mage. "Everybody good?"

"Yes," the Antivan says as he joins me. I get three other affirmatives while Morrigan starts working on Talith's arm.

"Twould be wise for you to stay behind," she says, handing him a healing potion. "The dragon is up ahead."

"What?!" I demand, walking up to her so fast Alistair can't stop me.

"The dragon is out in the clearing," Morrigan says.

"Great." I throw my hands up, marching off stiffly. "Just great! We're almost out of healing potions, we're completely out of lyrium potions, and we have to go fight a Maker-damn _high dragon_?!"

"Yes."

"Great!" I repeat. "Are you telling me that I have to go out there and let that monster out so we don't die?"

"Er...yes," Alistair says.

"It's not happening!" I snap furiously. "I'd rather have Teagan as Arl and let Eamon die!" With that, I storm back the way we came, hoping they come up with a way to avoid fighting the dragon. I punch the wall once, fueled by Hope's anger, and it cracks around my fist, making my skin leak little tendrils of white light.

Why did I have to end up here? Why did I have to become a Warden? Why did I have to be born a mage? Couldn't I have just been some other dolt in the family tree? Of course not. My father was the most powerful man to fight against the Orlesians with Maric when he was just the prince. Of course I couldn't just be a flake.

_Leaders control their emotions. _

I hated it when my father used to tell me that when Aedan and I were in trouble. It's not like we were going to end up leading anyone anywhere other than lunch with how we were going.

But now we are, and I'd better start putting that to use. It makes so much sense why Talith does what he does. He's the Knight-Captain of Ferelden. He has to act like that. And from the impression I get, he didn't join the Templars to protect mages or anyone outside of the Templars. He had something happen to him. I just don't know what.

Sighing, I turn on my heel and begin walking back to the others.

Hope buzzes away, but for some reason, I don't find it as annoying as I usually do. I find it calming, something I can focus on to regain control over my emotions. Maybe even my way of keeping her from making impromptu visits to the outside world.

As I walk back up to them, I flip open my pack. I have the most potions. I don't tend to need them because when I get hurt, it's usually when I'm parading around with Hope loose, and she just heals me as I go. Except that one time at the Circle. Hmm. Weird. I never thought about that until just now.

"Here," I say, handing the lot of them every potion I have. "Maker knows I won't need them." As they shove their things away, I walk up to a hole in the wall leading out into a bright, shiny day. We must be behind that blizzard we saw blowing in yesterday. I see some snow up at the mouth of the cave, twinkling brightly in the sunlight. It blinds me for a minute and I cover my eyes until they can readjust.

"Ready?" Alistair asks, stepping up to my side.

I scoff. "No. But hey, practice for the Archdemon!"

He laughs weakly, shaking his head. "That's one way to look at it, Elissa."

"I have to be optimistic."

"Point taken. Lead on, O' Fearless One." He makes a sweeping bow in the direction of the mountaintop, making it extremely over-dramatic.

I roll my eyes. "Ha ha. So very funny, Alistair." He grins at me.

"It comes naturally."

"Of course it does," I say. I situate my quiver and my pack before adding, "Well, there's no better time than the present. Let's go."

I lead the way up the cavernous ramp, covering my eyes at the sudden rush of sunlight. Alistair winces from somewhere behind me. When I finally recover, I see a destroyed temple, towers smashed to smithereens on either side of the canyon. We're standing on what seems to be an entry platform, like the things you'd see in Orlesian castles. A ramp leads down to a snow and dirt path, and that leads to another section of the temple, but that looks to have and roof over it. And it looks intact. We're at the middle of a mess, and that looks to be the only clean spot.

I see snow pick up in a gust of windless air, and my eyes widen. "Back!" I whisper harshly, grabbing Alistair and pulling him after me as I slide behind a fallen pillar. The others duck behind the walls, watching as the massive purple beast flies overhead. "You think it saw us?"

"No," Alistair whispers. He peeks up over the pillar, barely showing his head. Somewhere above the thing roars tiredly. Alistair sits back down, shaking his head. "No. It looks like it's going to sleep, actually."

I check for myself before nodding and motioning the others after us as I stand. Alistair draws his sword regardless of the observation, clenching his fist around the hilt. I see the rest of them do something similar, but Morrigan and I already have our weapons drawn. Talith leans against the wall, rubbing the exposed skin where his arm was torn open. Must've downed a few potions. Can't say I blame him. What I would have done to have had the strength to get any of my potions when I was dying at the foothills yesterday. I might have handed Ferelden over to the darkspawn.

"Be very, very quiet," Cyrus says, eyes locked on the purple mound of sparkly scales on the canyon wall up ahead. "Dragons aren't heavy sleepers."

"Thank the Maker you're a Nevarran," I say, scoffing. "Your knowledge of dragons is proving invaluable." He rolls his eyes at me and I smirk. "Best dragon hunters in Thedas, my ass." Alistair snorts in amusement as I start forward again, watching the dragon carefully. I get the feeling we all do the same because a rather large rock comes rolling down after me, bouncing straight past and right into a gong on a small hill.

The dragon doesn't even need to move for me to know what that's for. But it does. It leaps straight into the air before falling hundreds of feet to the ground below, shaking it so hard all of us are knocked off our feet.

"Elissa!" Morrigan calls as she recovers. "Use the snow!"

"What? How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

The witch huffs, rolling her eyes. "You're as dumb as Alistair!" Her eyes widen.

"Look out!" Cyrus shouts.

I look up, and before I can even register what I'm seeing, Alistair grabs me and pulls me out of the way of a burst of flame. My eyes widen too, heart pounding in my ears. I almost...holy flipping...I don't even have words for it.

"Focus!" Alistair says, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes. I blink stupidly until I pull myself together, and by then, the others are already fighting the monster. "You okay?"

I nod numbly, still blinking. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. Go help the others." He hesitates before nodding, running straight into Cyrus to get him out of the way of the dragon's claws. The two roll over a mound of snow, but reappear quickly, so I busy myself searching for a good angle. Once I find one, I take aim at the thing's chest and fire. My arrow bounces right of its scales, flying back at me. I duck, yelping, as it zings past. It smacks into a stone pillar before falling down to the ground. I retrieve it and aim at the same spot as it rears up, jumping twenty feet into the air. With a beat of its wings, we're all blown over again. Then when it flaps again, as its wings pull inward, we're yanked towards it. And as we're pulled in, the leathery wings open and we're blown out with so much force I'm thrown halfway across the canyon. I slam into the jagged wall with a thud, banishing all the air in my lungs.

Praise Andraste for an abundance of the stuff.

I fall forward, snow dropping on top of me and burying me in it. I start coughing, aching all over, when I hear footsteps approaching. Huge pounds of its feet. I struggle against the mass of snow as I try to push myself onto my knees. I finally get there, and when I look up, two huge black eyes are staring at me. Angry eyes. It's not a happy dragon. But as I stand, it just raises its head so it is level with my own, glaring.

I flick my eyes around, searching for my bow. Where the hell did I drop it? There! Right behind the dragon's back leg. Great.

I look back at the dragon, tensing my muscles in preparation to make a run for it. The creature just stares at me, sniffing. It still looks mad, and when I step around it, the beast turns, head cocked to the side. I move my hands down to my sides and it growls, shoving its face in mine. I instantly throw my hands back up, and it retreats, smacking me in the chest with its snout. Instead of running for my weapon, I back over in its general direction, praying to Andraste to not step on it.

My boot smacks a rock, sending it tumbling downhill to the nearby tower. I watch it go, stiffening when I see the shadow of the dragon straightening up. I turn back to it slowly, but the dragon drops back onto its front legs, roaring. I stumble and somehow manage to stay on my feet even though it's less than five feet away. Its mouth opens again and it drops its head.

It's going to eat me.

"Holy mother of-"

Someone slams into my side, throwing me out of the way. I roll down after the rock that started this damn mess, straight into a pile of brick and mortar. My head smacks off a particularly large one and the world starts spinning. I blink to clear my vision, but the only thing I see is who it's holding.

"_Alistair_!" I scream his name as I scramble to my feet, fully intending on killing that damn thing myself, but then it throws him towards the temple, and I can see all of the blood from here.

I'm not sure if I snap or if I just let Hope out.


	42. Lies

Wincing, I sit up, holding my head in my hands. It feels like my brain exploded. I don't even know what happened. I can barely remember passing out, let alone what made me pass out in the first place. My head just throbs in time with my heartbeat.

"You're awake," Morrigan says. "Good."

I put the ball of my hand against my forehead as a wave of nausea hits me. I hold my breath, refusing to breathe until it passes. "What...happened?" I shake my head, blinking. "And don't sugarcoat it."

She snorts. "I sugarcoat nothing, Elissa. Are you asking me to be blunt?"

"Yes. Just spit it out."

Morrigan hesitates, actually hesitates. "Elissa, do you remember anything? Anything at all?" I shake my head, wincing when I catch a ray of the fading light in my eye. "The high dragon attacked us. And when it went to grab-"

My eyes widen on my hands. "He can't be...Alistair's not..." I start shaking and it takes all of my willpower to keep Hope in check. So much that I don't hear Morrigan shouting at me. She even goes as far to grab my shoulders and jolt me once. I blink, suddenly furious. I feel like there's a hole in my chest. She's talking, saying something incoherent, but all I can think about is how I just let him die. I _let _Alistair _die _for _me_. How am I supposed to live with myself? Why would he do that?! And all Morrigan is doing is trying to get me to listen to some stupid apology.

I've seen Alistair get hurt before. I've even healed his wounds. But never have I truly believed he'd end up dead from his injuries. I don't know how I wouldn't this time. I watched the dragon throw him aside like he was nothing more than a girl's doll. I saw the blood, saw how he didn't move. I watched Alistair die.

"Damn it, Elissa, listen to me!" Morrigan snaps, shaking my shoulders again. "Alistair is fine!"

I throw her off me, hating her for lying. She's never lied before. She's a bitch, sure, but she's not a liar. "Don't lie to make me feel better."

"I am not lying you idiot!" She gets to her feet, glaring. "I do not lie to anyone, especially the few I consider friends."

"I saw it grab him!" I exclaim. "I saw the blood!"

"And I wasted what little mana I had left to heal him," she snaps. "It took everything we found and all of what I had to do it, but I healed him."

"You...healed Alistair?" I ask softly.

"Yes," she says.

"I thought you hated him."

"But you don't," she says. "And I said I don't lie to friends."

I look down at my hands, heaving in a shaky breath. He's...not dead. I can't believe it no matter how much I want to. But I can't disbelieve Morrigan. She really doesn't lie. "Thank you. For being there when I couldn't."

"Don't make me call you my friend again."

"I won't," I say. "I won't tell anyone. Ever. I promise. I...I owe you one anyway."

"Then consider this a debt repaid," she says, offering me a hand up. I accept it gratefully, swaying slightly once I'm on my feet.

"Can I see him?"

"He's not awake yet," Morrigan says. "Twould be smarter if you came and ate before checking on him."

"I'm not hungry."

"Wardens do not say that," she says.

"I've said it before."

"Then you've lied," she says. "Now come. Eat something and then I'll let you pester the idiot."

* * *

><p>Leliana runs back to the group, stopping just in front of Aedan. He raises an eyebrow and she nods, beckoning the others after her. She still runs ahead, keeping her longbow clenched firmly in her hand. Elissa's beast of a dog paces her while the three people run after her, and she can't deny that she loves the thrill of the run. The energy, the air whipping her short hair around. She loves it, and she's glad she doesn't have to go into Orzammar. She's never wanted to go underground, and that inclination isn't about to change.<p>

Ducking under a branch hanging over the break in the trees, she leads the way into the Brecilian Forest, pausing just within the treeline until the others rejoin her.

"How are you feeling, Wynne?" she asks, helping the elderly mage over a log.

"Winded, but fine," she answers.

"We'll walk the rest of the way," Aedan says, taking the lead. Leliana makes sure Wynne is as fine as she says before jogging up to Aedan's side, staring at the side of his head with as quizzical expression on her face. It takes him a moment to notice, and when he does, he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, looking away. "Er...yes?"

The bard blinks. Since when did she stare at him? "What? Did you say something?"

He chuckles, shaking his head. "Nothing important, Leliana. Don't worry about it." She gives him a suspicious look before returning her attention to the forest floor. She needs to keep an eye out for any signs of elves or werewolves. She hopes they find the former first. Something tells her they'll be dealing with the werewolves regardless, but she'd much rather get to sleep somewhere relatively safe before having to worry about that.

To pass the time, she starts muttering the Chant of Light under her breath, stopping every once in a while to move some brush aside or pick elfroot leaves. Aedan helps her with it, and for some reason, she gets a feeling of bliss when he does. Every day she's reminded how good of a person he is, or at least tries to be, and how much better he is than Marjolaine. He treats her as an equal regardless of where they are. He helps her with the dumbest of things even when he has no idea what he's doing himself. He takes time out of his day to talk with her about things other than the Blight. He asks for her opinion instead of doing what he wants. What really gets her is how much he trusts her. He knows what she's done, who she was, and what she used to stand for, and he doesn't care. Aedan loves her anyway, and she can't help but love him back for it.

"What are you smiling about?" he asks.

"Me?" Leliana asks, blinking rapidly. She hopes it's too dark for him to see her blush, but she looks away just in case. "Nothing. Just...worrying."

He sighs. "I know the feeling."

"They will be fine," she promises.

"I still can't help worrying," Aedan whispers. "I get the feeling something bad happened to them, and I can't shake it."

Leliana giggles, saying, "That is what twins do, yes?"

Aedan laughs, too, nodding. "I just feel like she's hurting. I'm worried."

"It is all right," Leliana insists, putting a hand on his arm. "Alistair will keep your sister safe."

He nods again. "Speaking of that...them...whatever. I need to apologize to both of them. I yelled at her for getting involved with him. I shouldn't have done it. He's a good man and done nothing _but _keep her safe. It's not fair for me to hate him for caring."

"You were being a brother," Leliana says, shrugging before starting forward again.

"I feel like an ass for it," Aedan says. "But I suppose he's better than Nathaniel or Thomas. She...I don't think Elissa could find anyone worse."

"Like you said, Alistair is a good man."

Aedan nods his agreement, picking his way through a bunch of thorns. Then he turns to hold them apart for his dog and Wynne, the only ones without armor covering themselves. Leliana walks a little farther ahead, staring up at the dark sky. A howl rises somewhere to her right, but it is far off, and she doesn't twitch.

* * *

><p>The relief I feel when I see him is overwhelming. It outweighs everything else I feel, and when I sit beside him, when I see his chest rising and falling steadily, I almost break down in tears.<p>

"Sickening," Morrigan says. She turns to go, but I call her back.

"Then stop looking at Talith." She snorts before leaving, and I know I won the argument. I smile faintly, moving around to his other side so no one can sneak up on me. I can't believe he's alive despite him being right there in front of me. I can even touch him if I wanted to.

If he wasn't so pale, I'd think he was just sleeping. But Morrigan said he lost a lot of blood, that it's a miracle he survived, but I don't care if it was a miracle. He's alive. Alistair is alive, and that's what matters. Even though he has bandages covering his entire body, he's alive. I can see the fringes of one peeking out from under the shirt Cyrus gave him. There's another on the side of his face where it scraped on the ground.

I wrap my fingers through his, pulling his bandaged hand into my lap where I can hold it. I just stare at him, unable to believe that he really is fine. I feel guilty, too. If I wasn't being stupid, if I'd just been smart enough to move...if I hadn't panicked, he wouldn't be like this.

This is my fault. He's hurt because of me. Again.

I don't even realize I'm crying until there's a thumb brushing the tears from my cheeks. His touch is gentle, comforting, and I lean into his hand, unable to look up at him. When he realizes I won't, he pulls me into his arms. I hug him back, shaking with each sob, and he doesn't seem to care. He just holds me against his chest, stroking my hair in a soothing manner.

"I'm sorry," I say. "This is my fault."

"How is it your fault?" Alistair asks.

"Because I panicked," I say, voice shaking. "I didn't even try to move. I just stood there." I wipe the last of my tears from my eyes, shaking my head. "You should've just let me die."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you're hurt!" I exclaim, throwing his hand off me. "It's my fault!"

"And we're both alive because of it," he says. He grabs my hand, putting it over his heart. "Look at me, Elissa. Please." I do, and I don't see the hatred in his eyes that I expected. I see other things. Confusion, hurt, love. Things I don't deserve. "You feel that? That's the last thing I can give you, and I'd be willing to do it. I would die if it meant you wouldn't. And I'd do it happily. I would die a happy man knowing I died for the woman I loved, okay? Don't ever tell me I should've just let you die so I wouldn't get hurt. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did. If I can keep you from dying, then I'm going to, whether that costs me my own life or not."

"But-"

"No buts," he says, letting go of me. "I wouldn't think twice. I'd do anything for you, and that includes dying, whether you like it or not."

"Did you ever stop to think what that would do to me?" I snap.

"I didn't have to," he says. "I don't care if you'd hate me forever. I could deal with it because I would know you were alive for a few more seconds at the least, and that's all that matters to me. I don't want to watch you die. I don't want to even see you hit your forearm with your bowstring. I don't want you to get hurt, and I'm going to do my best to keep it from happening."

"If you died I'd be hurt," I whisper.

"You would move on eventually," Alistair says. "I'm nothing special. You'd find another man, and life would go on."

My jaw drops. "You think I'd forget you? That I wouldn't miss you everyday for the rest of my life?"

"Why would you?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I ask. "You're the first person to ever even attempt being friends with me. You're the first person I've ever worried about. You're the first person to care, Alistair. It would kill me to know you died protecting me. I wouldn't be able to take it."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I was hoping I wouldn't die," he says, smirking. "You know, up until I passed out from blood loss." I find it in me to laugh once, and that earns me a smile. "So uh...how _am _I still alive?"

"Morrigan healed you," I say.

"What?!" He pauses, looking off, before saying, "Well, then I guess I owe her." He pats the spot next to him and I scoot over, allowing him to wrap his arm around my shoulder. Alistair sighs as I lean my head on his chest, throwing both of my arms around him. "I love you, you know that? More than anything."

I shudder when I inhale. "I love you, too." I look up at him and he frowns, brushing my hair from my face.

"I just want to keep you safe," he says. "I'm sorry if you don't agree with my methods, but..."

"It's fine," I say, leaning on him again. "You're alive, so I forgive you."

"That's a relief," he says, chuckling.

"You think you'd be ready to head after the Urn tomorrow?" I ask. "Do you feel up to it?"

"Yeah, I think so," he says, nodding. "Anything to get off this blasted mountain."


	43. The Urn of Sacred Ashes

_Warning: spoilers for Inquisition ahead! Skip the paragraph after the Guardian tells Elissa about Hawke and Kirkwall if you don't want to read it! I won't bring it up much after here, anyway! Until we get that far at least ;) This is where this story gets very, very AU. It's how I plan on getting Elissa to fit into the other two games. _

We went back and ransacked the cave system for armor so Alistair wouldn't be walking around in plain clothing. We found some chainmail that fit, thankfully, before we headed back out to the mountainside. The dragon's corpse is where we left it; out in the open where any pursuers could see it. Make sure they understand we killed a high dragon. That'll make them think twice about coming after us.

I lead the party up to the massive triangular door, hesitating. Should we really be taking Andraste's Ashes? If they're real, aren't we technically disturbing the most sacred thing to all Andrastians?

No. We have to do this. We need Eamon's help to defeat the Blight.

I inhale deeply before pushing the door open. It swings on well-oiled hinges, meaning someone takes care of this place. Or that the Maker really is watching over His Bride's final resting place. Both make me shudder. It leads us into a hallway that ends in a set of stairs twisting up to the right. No going back now.

Swallowing my courage and my morales, I head inside, following the light coming from the top of the stairs. The others hesitate before following me, but I'm already at the top of the steps, eyes narrowed on the man guarding the next door.

"At last," he breathes. He sounds...very weary. "Worthy pilgrims have arrived."

Something tells me this isn't a joke.

I glance at my companions before starting forward. "We've come for the Urn of Sacred Ashes."

He smiles, nodding. "I know, child." Child? I'm twenty-two. I'm hardly a child anymore. "I've been waiting ages for this moment."

"Ages? So...there's really an Urn?"

"Yes," he says. "And you will get to it when you prove you're worthy."

"And how exactly do I do that?"

"You must pass through a series of tests. If you pass, you are worthy and may be permitted to take a pinch of Her ashes from the Urn. If not..."

"I gather it's unpleasant."

"It's always unpleasant," Zev says.

"You will be punished with His wrath," the man says.

"You mean the Maker will personally kill us? Fantastic," I say, huffing. "I don't think I want that to happen."

The man tilts his head to the side, reaching out to touch my forehead. I frown and start to draw back, but find myself unable. That's when I realize I'm glowing. He's...he's touching _Hope_. Not me, Hope. He just...pulled her out.

"He has more for you when this is over, child," the man says. "Neither of you wanted this, but He brought you together, and it has made you stronger." He pulls his hand back and I come rushing to the forefront, head pounding. "You are His Agent, child." He steps aside. "You, and you only, can pass if you listen to what I have to tell you."

"Uh...sure, I guess."

"Within the next year, tensions will arise in the Free Marches, Kirkwall specifically," he says. "Knight-Commander Meredith will begin to abuse her power then, and Qunari will land in search for the Tome of Koslun. There will be a mage, a Fereldan refugee, that lands in the center of the city's problems. You must help her, or the Knight-Commander will unleash the wrath of hell itself on the Maker's children. Help her and her friend, Anders. He will be like you. Gain his friendship, make him trust you. Show him your kind are not monsters."

"I...I can do that." I rub the back of my neck, glancing at my friends awkwardly. They don't seem to be listening. "Can they hear us?"

"No," he says. "This is His message to you, and to you only."

"So...is there something else?"

"Ten years from now, an ancient darkspawn will rise to power," the man says, walking to a window. I hesitate before following. It's...it's not everyday you hear some creepy ghost thing give you a message from the Maker Himself. "He will open the Veil and create a hole above Haven. It will be called the Breach. He will open it during negotiations between the mages and Templars. One person will survive. The Herald of Andraste must survive. The Inquisition must last, or Thedas will fall to the darkspawn."

"Another Blight? In a decade?"

He shakes his head. "Not a Blight, Agent. A curse upon Thedas itself. A test from the Maker to the people."

"And you just slapped me in the center of it."

"The Maker would do no such thing if He didn't think you could help Thedas," he says. "The Inquisitor will be in a fortress called Skyhold by the time you'll be able to help. I strongly urge you to go there as soon as possible. They will need your help."

"I'm one person," I say.

"One person can make a world of difference." He turns to face me, a sad expression on his face. "Mages will be at the center of the vortex with you. Thedas will blame all of your kind if you do not show them mages are to be trusted. And then the Herald, the Champion of Kirkwall, and you would be powerless."

"How am I supposed to reform the entire Chantry?!"

He smiles at me. "No one said reform. We said to gain their trust. Remain neutral in the conflicts. Do what seems in the best interests of Thedas."

"Cater to the people, basically."

"No," he says, shaking his head. "Do what is right. Do what the Maker would do. He will guide you, always." He sighs, gesturing to the door he was guarding. "Go. Take Her ashes. Save your Arl."

"Thank you." I back away as the door swings open of its own accord, spinning on my heel when I reach it.

_Do you know what he was talking about? _I ask Hope.

_The Father wishes for us to help Thedas, _she says. _So we help Thedas. _

_That sounds a lot easier than it will be. _

_Life is never easy, Elissa. _

I choose not to respond, instead glancing around every room I pass through. One room has people standing around, ghosts. They bow their heads as I walk past, muttering something about praising the Maker under their breath. The next room is totally empty, but I get the feeling if I wasn't whatever he was calling me, I'd be fighting in here. It's a small room, followed by a short hallway leading into a room with tiles alongside a chasm that falls into oblivion. The bridge is clawed, reaching out at me, but I walk across, back stiff. The final door I open myself, finding myself in a huge antechamber with a massive statue of Andraste standing tall at the other end. In front of it is a raised platform with an altar on it. And on that altar sits an urn.

The Urn of Sacred Ashes.

"Take the weapon," the man says, appearing out of thin air. I jump, throwing an arm up to defend myself, but he seems unfazed. "Wield Her sword with pride. She entrusted it to you long ago."

"Why me and not Her Herald?"

"Because Her Herald is not important to the Maker, and everything is His final decision."

Sighing, I say, "What have we gotten into, Hope?"

_History. _

I start forward, passing a much smaller altar as I head for the platform above. The man follows at first, stopping at the base of the steps.

This is really the Urn of Sacred Ashes. I am really about to touch what's left of Andraste.

I pull a small leather pouch from my pack before lifting the lid off the Urn. I feel strange as I take a fingerful of Ashes from inside, carefully depositing them in the pouch. I pull the strings shut tightly and tuck it away. Then I replace the lid, and the man is beside me again, holding a sword out to me.

"The sword of Andraste," he says. "Become the Forgotten. Become His Agent, and all of Thedas' enemies will fear you."

"I'm not sure I want this."

"Andrastians need you now, Agent," he says, stepping closer. "Do what others could not. Prevent the next Blight."

"Prevent it?"

"The Blight is the result of man being incapable of fulfilling this role," he says. "The First Offered refused and marched on the Golden City instead, creating the darkspawn." He steps even closer. "Prevent the next."

The next thing like the Blight, I guess.

"Maker give me strength," I say. Then I reach for the hilt of the sword, and when my fingers wrap around the cool metal, I feel a jolt in my arm. My fingers tighten on it even though Hope and I both scream for them to drop it. I fall to my knees in a burst of pain. It feels like someone is carving in my flesh. Like a butcher took a knife and started to sign his name on the palm of my hand.

"You are His, and He is yours."

Then everything goes black.


	44. Reunion

_Please review guys! I want to know what you think of this! And if you like the Deep Roads, Harrowmont, or anything involving siding with Bhelen, you might hate me. There is a major time skip here. Well, for Elissa. The rest of the world kept spinning without her. _

Aedan and Alistair walk into the main hall of Highever Castle, both freshly bathed. Cyrus is already there waiting for them, and the elf the scouts sent north. He has two small horns poking up from his blond hair, proof that one of his parents was Qunari. He also has a staff strapped to his back and his robes are strange. Where it usually looks like a man in a dress, he seems to be wearing a pair of skin tight white trousers, a white shirt, and a green vest that has tails in the front and back. His black boots rise up to his knees, and somehow always manage to be covered in dirt. His blue eyes dart everywhere, making sure no one is approaching him.

"Theorn," Aedan says coolly.

The elf looks up, the usual sarcastic light in his eyes twinkling. A mischievous smirk appears on his face. "Today's the day, Warden. Soon. Soon He will make you see."

"I still have no idea what you're talking about," Aedan says.

"No one will," he says. "She is His secret, and Him hers."

"He's been ranting all morning to anyone who would listen," Cyrus says. "Been the same damn thing, too. Makes no sense if you ask me. 'She is His secret, and Him hers'? Where's the logic in that? How is he supposed to know if 'no one will know'?"

"Ignore it," Aedan says. "He's a nice-ish guy when he's not spouting."

The Nevarran Warden nods, following his two comrades up to the Teyrna of Highever. Alistair and Cyrus bow, but Aedan doesn't twitch. "Mother, we've waited for long enough. It's time to call the Landsmeet."

"You have gathered all the treaties possible?"

"We have. Leliana is sending messages to the Circle, the Dalish, and King Bhelen telling them to have their troops ready for my call," he says. "We need to unite Ferelden before the Blight spreads any further."

"She's your twin, Aedan!"

"She's been missing for four months! We spent that time looking for her and any way to heal Eamon! She's not coming back!" Aedan exclaims. "I understand you miss her. We all do, but we need to move on." As he speaks, he puts a hand on Alistair's shoulder, who has looked down with a sad expression on his face. He always does when she's brought up. Aedan used to do the same, but he's grown past it. He's had Leliana help him through the loss. They all did, helping each other when it got hard.

"Aedan, she's my-"

The doors slam open and the sound of metal boots hits Aedan's ears. That, and running boots. His mother's eyes widen, and they all turn.

"I am sorry, my lady," a guard says. "I tried to tell-"

"I don't take orders from you," the woman snaps, throwing the guard off with a shake of her shoulder. She has a hood up, concealing her face, but everyone in that hall recognizes the voice and the armor. "Get off me."

"You could be an assassin sent by Howe's family!"

She scoffs. "Like I'd work for the man I killed."

* * *

><p>That was the most spectacular entrance I've made in Maker knows how long. Kind of funny when you just wake from the dead. And considering I never was dead...<p>

"Where have you been?!" Aedan demands.

I push the guard off again, flipping my rain-soaked hood back. My hair is damp and I shake droplets from my face, walking up on the meeting. "Places."

"Doing what?!"

"Stuff," I say, wringing out the sleeve of my blue shirt. "And that's all I'm saying on the matter. If I could tell you, then I would. But I've been sworn to silence, and that's how it will stay."

"You left! During a Blight!" Cyrus exclaims.

"You left the Wardens because you were bored," I say, shrugging. "I didn't leave the Wardens. I didn't even leave Ferelden. I've been doing things all over the country for the past four months."

"Why didn't you come back?" Alistair asks.

"Because I forgot," I say. "I'd forgotten everything. When He decided I was needed elsewhere, He returned my memories and everything else I'd forgotten. And here I am, as promised."

"Three months late!" Aedan snaps.

"I'm here, am I not? Now quit complaining," I say. "If Cyrus is correct, we still have an Archdemon to stop and a nation to unite." I look back at my mother. "Arl Eamon has been revived and the Landsmeet called. We are expected at our estate in Denerim within the week. Eamon and Teagan will meet us there, and we can coordinate the army from there."

"Elissa..."

"I am fine, honestly," I say. "Trust me." I look around, frowning. "Now how about I get something to eat, and then I'll tell you what I am allowed to say."

When no one answers, I shrug, adjusting my quiver before heading out the door leading deeper into the castle. It is a short walk to the kitchen, and before long, I hear feet racing after me. I look over my shoulder, smiling when I see Alistair approaching. I stop to wait, resting a hand on the pommel of my sword.

"Nice to see you again," I say.

He pauses before any words can come from his mouth. "Nice...what?"

"I said it's nice to see you again," I say.

"Nice?! You...we-"

"And I still love you," I interrupt. "But I'm starving, and I really can't say much to anyone." I walk closer to him, so close that I can feel his breath in my hair. "I'll tell you everything, but you won't believe me."

"I thought you said-"

"I did," I mutter. "But I'll seem just as crazy as Leliana did when we first met her. I don't want to tell anyone until it comes up."

"Elissa, I swear to the Maker I'll believe you," he says.

I smile faintly. "You know what kept me going all those weeks I was away?" He shakes his head. "When I asked why I wasn't allowed to remember, He told me there was someone who would distract me if I did. At first He wouldn't say if I could ever have anything back, but when He did, I fought harder to get my job done. I didn't even know who I was fighting to see again, but as soon as He returned my life, I knew. I'd been fighting to see you for so long I felt as if it might not even be worth it anymore. I thought you moved on-"

He frowns. "You remember the last time we had a real conversation?" I hesitate before nodding. "You remember what you said?" I nod again. "Then how could you expect me to forget about you?"

I can't help it. I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him, heart fluttering when he kisses me back. His arms snake around my waist, crushing me against him.

I've missed him so much. Four months of aching for someone I didn't even know. And now that I have him again...I don't even know what to do with myself. This kiss feels much like our first, new and wonderful. The start of something amazing.

I pull away when my lungs start burning, dropping back down to my feet. Alistair still holds me against him, shaking. I hug him back, glad for the closeness, for being able to hold him again. I've wanted it for four months, and now I suddenly have it back. The fluttering in my chest when he smiles at me, the blushing when he gets particularly brave and flirts, even the confusing ways I want him. I've missed everything so much, but nothing made me ache as much as thinking about him did. I couldn't give a face to a name I didn't have. I couldn't give a name to a face I didn't have. He was just a void that kept driving me through everything I was sent to do here. A blank, empty void that drove me crazy at some times. But a void that has been filled and is now worth.

"Still hungry?" Alistair asks.

"Depends on what you have in mind," I whisper, the tone of his voice sending shivers down my spine.

I forgot what it was like to be human.

He grins at me, eyes dark with desire. "Do you remember where my room was?"

"Of course I do."

He kisses my nose once. "Meet me there later. After dark, when everyone is sleeping, preferably."

I grin back at him as he walks back toward the main hall. "And Alistair?" He pauses, turning his head to the side to hear me better. "You might want to fix your hair. It's kind of obvious." His face turns a bright shade of crimson and I laugh, smiling. "I'll see you later."

He nods absentmindedly, flicking around his bangs as he walks. I shake my head, amused, as I walk down to the kitchen.

_And the will of iron is gone. _

"Oh, who asked you?" I snap under my breath. I glance over my shoulder, catching Alistair staring at me. He's still fixing his hair, but now he's openly watching me walk away, eyes intent. Now it's my turn to feel awkward and blush, so I pull my hood back up, fending off the drizzle that pours from the sky. It's pouring out by Lake Calenhad, and my cloak and the droplets of water resting in the crest carved into my armor makes it obvious.

I open the door to the kitchen, confused when I hear a deep, dwarf-y sounding voice coming from within. I step inside, drawing all the eyes at a table to me. For some reason, I lock gazes with Morrigan first, and she just smiles knowingly. Of course she'd know. Morrigan knows everything going on in my life before I do.

"Who are you?" Leliana asks.

I blink, throwing my hood back. Several jaws drop. All except Morrigan's and the dwarf's. Maker, I can smell the alcohol on him from here. At first, they just stare at me, mouths agape, but when their senses return to them, they're all on their feet, greeting me faster than I've ever been greeted by anyone.

Leliana grabs me in a hug, stammering random words out. I laugh, hugging her back. "I missed you, too."

"How could you do that to us?!" she demands.

"I had things to do," I say. "But Eamon has been revived, minor issues dealt with, and the Landsmeet called to order." She frowns at me. "I am not telling you what I was doing. Not yet."

"You seem different," the Orlesian says.

I run my left thumb over the palm of my right hand, unconsciously scratching at the mark there. Morrigan notices and mouths, "Flemeth?" I nod once, flexing my uncovered, marked hand before looking back to Leliana.

"I've changed," I say. "But I'm still a Warden, and I still want food."

The door behind me opens and all of us look back. They seem to recognize this horned elf, but I have no idea who he is.

"The Forgotten," he says, crossing his arms over his chest and bending at the waist, the Templar salute. "What is your surname, ma'am? It is not official until..." He trails off, eyes darting around.

"Cousland."

The elf grins wickedly. "It ends where it all began." He salutes again. "The Forgotten Cousland."


	45. Denerim

I walk at the head of the Cousland guards with my mother and brothers. Fergus was surprised when I popped up out of nowhere yesterday, perfectly healthy and happy. Well, maybe not happy. I haven't been happy in months. Content, more like.

I look back at Alistair, smiling gently. I didn't have the chance to come find him last night. I got stuck at a very informal promotion ceremony when Aedan and Cyrus decided I was technically the leader of our group, and therefore should be made Warden-Commander of Ferelden. Cyrus knew what to do and he enlisted the other two Wardens' help. We sort of hid in the basement of the castle and did it there. Reminds me of a cult.

I shudder at the very thought. A cult is what started all of this.

"You there," the dwarf, Oghren, says. "Boss-lady with the creepy stare."

Sighing, I look back at the fuzzy-faced drunk. "Yes?"

He belches as he takes another drink from his flask. The horned elf, Theorn from last night sighs, running a hand down his face. He seems so much more normal today. "Do you ever stop drinking?"

I turn back to the road, stiffening when I get that tensing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I look around, head whipping, when Hope practically has a spazz-attack and leaps for control while restraining herself at the same time. I feel like I've been punched in the chest by an ogre and I double over, stumbling back. Alistair grabs me around the waist while Fergus calls for a full stop. The soldiers break to pal around in their squads while we sit at the forefront of the army. I hug my abdomen, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

"What's troubling you?" Morrigan asks, crouching in front of me.

I glance up at her, shaking my head. "He...I need to go." Alistair starts to protest, but then my hand starts burning insistently and I wince, doubling over again. I hold the hand to my chest, trying to block out the pain. "Now." She nods, helping me to my feet. She leads me as far away as possible and then creates a barrier between us and the camp, blocking us from view. And just in time, too, because I feel the energy trickling down my veins. The mark on my hand glows gold before the light explodes around us, sucking back into a picture that hovers in midair ten feet away.

"_The Tevinter slaver. This week, he must go. He is taking elves from the Denerim Alienage. Protect my children._"

This week?! I've always had longer than that! How am I supposed to double that with running around Denerim preparing for the Landsmeet?!

The light dissolves immediately afterwards and I push myself to my feet, wincing.

"That was certainly interesting," Morrigan says.

I scoff. "I'm still not used to it."

"You probably never will," she says, dropping the barrier.

"So how much do you know, exactly?"

"Enough," she says.

"How?"

"Do you remember when we first met in the Wilds?" I nod. "I said something about Flemeth telling me about you and Aedan. She told me one of you would be a mage, end up possessed, and be 'touched' by the Maker himself."

"How the hell did she know that?"

Morrigan shrugs. "Flemeth is a very powerful mage, Elissa. She knows spells that have yet to be realized by most mages. She could know how to see the future. Tis not a hard thing to conceive."

I shake my head as we start back to the small band of soldiers. Fergus calls for them to get on their feet again, and I look over at Morrigan.

"So what's the real reason she sent you with us?"

"What makes you think there is a reason?"

"Aedan told me about her grimoire," I say carefully. "How she planned on possessing you when you returned from helping us fight the Blight. Who sends someone that important to their very existence after two Wardens just because one might end up like me?"

Morrigan smirks at me. "That's for you to find out later."

My eyes narrow as I search her face. "I don't trust you, Morrigan. I don't like that you know everything that's going to happen to me. And I won't trust you again. Not until I find out."

"That is your problem, Elissa. Not my own." I stiffen, annoyed, and resume walking back to the others when she calls my name. I freeze, looking back at her, when she says, "That is a nice sword you carry."

_Something has changed between you two, _Hope says.

_She wants something from us, _I say, resuming my walk. _I don't trust her. _

_A wise decision._

* * *

><p>I made up some excuse this morning and vanished from the camp, running ahead. Denerim is within sight, just down the rise. I jog downhill, flattening out into a run when I can. I hop on the road and slow to a jog when I get into the guards' lines of sight. They cross their spears, the one on the left saying, "Halt!"<p>

"Official business only until the Landsmeet is concluded," says the guy on the right.

"My mother is the Teyrna of Highever," I say. "I'm supposed to enter the estate early and have the servants start preparing the grounds for my family's arrival."

They exchange a look before uncrossing their spears and opening the gates for me. I walk into the city unchallenged, strolling right past the market without a second thought. I just need a way into the Alienage. One that doesn't involve walking up to the guard and asking. Sighing, I resign myself to several hours of waiting. I search for a concealed spot where I can rest and I find one down by the Wonders of Thedas, out back where the Tranquil deposit excess supplies.

* * *

><p>"Ser!" Aedan turns, looking for the source of the voice, and sees a messenger running up to him and Alistair, holding an envelope in his hand. "Ser Alistair!" Aedan goes back to tying his pack shut, face scrunched up in concentration.<p>

"Who's this from?" the ex-Templar asks.

"The Warden-Commander, ser," he says. Aedan stiffens and looks back at the boy in white as he passes the envelope off to Alistair. "Your eyes only, she said."

"Er...thanks," Alistair says before the boy runs off. The two Wardens share a look while Alistair tears it open. As he reads it, his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"What is it?" Aedan asks, standing.

"She...left again," he says, clenching his fist around the piece of paper. "She wants me to find her in the city."

Aedan hesitates and says, "Alistair, this isn't my sister. She doesn't play games like this. It's probably a demon playing tricks on us."

"And what if it is?" Alistair asks. "She's been gone-"

"That's my point! No one drops off the face of Thedas for four months and then spontaneously appears out of nowhere! I'd like to believe that woman is Elissa, but it can't be her. She just...it's not her," Aedan says, reaching out to his friend. He claps the man on the shoulder. "It's all right. I understand the feeling." He grabs his pack. "But she did love you, you know. And she'd want you to move on."

With that, Aedan walks off, headed for the head of the soldiers. Alistair just stands there, staring at the piece of paper.

_Alistair, _

_I need you to do me a favor. I know I've done nothing but cause you grief over the past few months, but it's important. I've left by the time you've gotten this, and I need you to join me. I'll be in the market until sundown the day that others arrive. If you want to help me, wait by the well out behind Wade's Emporium. I'll find you. _

_If someone's with you when you get this, lie to them. Don't tell them where we're meeting or how long I'll be there. I can't risk anybody else getting their hands on this piece of paper. Burn it once you've gotten my instructions memorized. _

_I'm sorry that I'm dragging you into this. I don't want to, but I need help from somewhere, and you're the only person I can trust. _

_Elissa_

Alistair balls it up before throwing it into a torch. The paper takes instantly, burning to ash within seconds. He'll get to the bottom of this. He has to.


	46. A New Cult

"Ma'am?" I jolt, starting awake, and my eyes lock on the elf I pay off every month to keep an eye on the city for me. He jumps, too, tensing, while I wake myself up. I get to my feet, rubbing my eyes. "There's a man at the well. He's been alone all day."

I blink stupidly. "There...what?"

"There is a man at the well you told me to watch," he says. "He got there around five this morning and has been alone ever since."

I nod, saying, "Thanks." I pull out a bag of sovereigns, tossing it to him. Maker knows I don't need the money anymore. "Keep quiet. I was never here. Neither was the man." The elf nods before running off.

Last night proved uneventful. I spent several hours ransacking the Alienage, searching for any signs of a Tevinter being there, but nothing turned up. I'll need to press all of my contacts or I'll get nowhere.

I tighten my cloak around myself before I follow the elf out into the market. He's long gone, probably off to feed his family. The market is almost empty this morning, the few people out and about being guards or the occasional nobleman heading to a shop. The guards just shoot me angry looks as I walk past, swerving around behind Wade's shop. There stands Alistair, leaning against the rim of the well, dozing. I fight the smile back as I walk up to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Alistair?" He jumps, reaching for the sword at his waist, but thankfully locks eyes with me before he can draw it.

He grabs my forearms instantly, searching my face. "I need to ask you something. It's important."

"What is it? I told you, you can tell me anything."

"Aedan doesn't believe you're...you," he says. "He thinks you're a demon."

I raise an eyebrow. "He thinks I'm not me?" Alistair nods and I huff, pulling myself free. I walk back a few feet. "So why are you here?"

"To warn you," he says. "He's willing to kill you, Elissa. He doesn't want to live a lie."

"That's understandable," I say, running a hand through my hair. Without turning, I ask, "How many agree with him?"

"Fergus does," Alistair says. "Your mother doesn't. There are more people agreeing with him than there's not."

"Who doesn't?"

"Me. Leliana. Your mother," he says. "Morrigan, too."

"I don't want to drag you into this," I say softly. "But I'll have to. When they get here, bring Leliana and meet me back here at midnight. I'll be waiting."

"They already are."

"Really? Then we can do this today, actually," I say. "Go get her. I'll meet you here within the hour."

I start to walk away, pulling my hood up for the impending storm blowing in. "Elissa?" I pause, looking back at Alistair. I raise an eyebrow when he says, "Be careful."

"Always," I say, nodding. With that, I turn, starting off at a run. Time to find a way into the Alienage.

* * *

><p>Alistair walks into the Cousland estate just in time to see Teyrn Loghain marching out furiously. The Warden steps to the side to avoid his fury, watching him go with a raised eyebrow. Ser Cauthrien glares back at him as she follows her superior back to the castle.<p>

"What was that about?" Alistair asks as he walks up to the three standing nearby.

"Teyrn Loghain does not like that our family carries more weight in the Landsmeet than he does," Fergus says.

"What did he expect?" Alistair asks. "The Couslands are the next family in line for the throne. You have more claim to it than Anora does."

"And that's what pisses him off," Aedan says, crossing his arms. "He wants her on the throne so he can be regent."

Alistair blinks. "So...you're basically saying that the Blight just gave him the excuse to rid Ferelden of the two most powerful families in Ferelden?"

"That's what it looks like," the Teyrna says.

"He seems like such a nice man," Alistair says.

"He's been an ambitious man from day one," the Teyrna says. "Bryce tried to warn Maric, but he'd have none of it." She shakes her head sadly. "Now it's cost Ferelden the royal family."

"Actually, it hasn't," Aedan says, looking at Alistair. "Alistair is the bastard son of King Maric. He has a claim to the throne, if a small one."

"Nope!" the Warden says, throwing his hands up. "I definitely don't want it. Fergus can have it for all I care!"

"Maker, no!" Fergus exclaims. "I can barely rule a Teyrnir!"

"Then leave it to Anora," Aedan says, shrugging. "She's done a good job at it."

"As long as she understands loyalists like Eamon won't be pleased," Eleanor says, looking at the door. "But for now, I have other matters to attend to. Fergus, go out to the market and see what you can hear. The townsfolk often know more about what's going on than the nobles."

"Of course, mother," he says, bowing his head.

The door barges open as the Teyrna goes towards it. There's the sound of metal on metal and then a crash as something is thrown. It happens too fast for Alistair to turn and catch it, but it's not hard for him to recognize Elissa, facedown on a carpet or not.

"This heretic yours?" a Templar asks.

"I am not a heretic!" she shouts, pushing herself upright. "Just because you Chantry fools have no-"

"Elissa!" Eleanor exclaims. "Do not-"

"I take orders from no one but myself!" she snarls, glaring. "These idiots snapped at me for being a mage, and when I tried to explain I'm a Warden-"

"You are carrying a blade that resembles Andraste's!" the Templar retorts.

"That's because it is!" she says.

"Arrest her!" the other Templar says.

"Don't touch me!"

* * *

><p>That became a mess far too easily. I was trying to go past the Chantry to head out to the stables, but a group of Templars caught me. Then we got into a fight, they dragged me back to my family's estate, and now my mother has to work with Talith on explaining to the Revered Mother why her Templars are dead.<p>

"Are you okay?" Alistair asks, frowning.

I nod absentmindedly. "Fine. Where's Leliana? We need to go now; I fear I won't be able to get out much once they're done with the Chantry."

"She's usually with Aedan working on something or other."

I sigh, getting to my feet. "Then let's go get her." He nods, following me up to the library. That's where Aedan said he was going, anyway. The guards we pass...they don't look very happy. And I know all of them. "Branded a heretic and I've only been here for a day and a half."

"Maybe you shouldn't claim your sword belonged to Andraste."

"It does! Did! Whatever!" I wave at him angrily, marching down the hallway. My boots slam with each step, and when I reach the doorway leading into the library, Aedan and Leliana are already waiting for us, watching as I approach. I look at the Orlesian, still amazed that I'm trusting her more than my twin.

"Hello," she says, smiling. I read her face quickly and decide it's not a fake smile. "What can I do for you?"

"I need your help," I say.

"I'm not helping you," Aedan says, looking at me suspiciously.

I roll my eyes. "I didn't ask for your help. I asked for Leliana's."

He immediately looks at her, eyes pleading. "Don't go with her. She'll only get you hurt or worse."

Leliana looks between the both of us before sighing. "I trust her, and she is only my friend. She is your sister, Aedan. Can you say the same?" My brother looks down, balling his hands up into fists.

"Have you heard what she claims to be?!" Aedan whispers furiously.

"Yes," Leliana says. "But when His children need help, why would the Maker not give us someone to follow?"

"Why a mage, though?!"

"Why is the Champion of Kirkwall a mage?" I ask, interrupting. "Why is the Inquisitor a mage?" The three of them give me confused looks. "How do I know about things that haven't even happened yet?" I slam my hands down on the table Aedan's leaning over. "Because despite how heretical it sounds, the Maker really does talk to me." I glance over my shoulder to make sure no one is eavesdropping before looking back to him. When I do, I flip my hand over and yank off the linen covering the palm of my hand. "Who else would burn the damn eye into my hand?!"

Then I straighten and begin covering my hand again, looking at Leliana. Her eyes are sympathetic, and her smile is friendly.

"What do you need me to do?" she asks.

"Help me get into the Alienage," I say. "Today. There's a Tevinter mage there. He's taking elves as slaves."

She nods. "Come. Let's work on this now."

As the three of us start out the door, Aedan calls out to me. I turn, looking back at the determined expression on his face as he walks up to us.

"I'm sorry for not trusting you," he says. "But you walk a dangerous line, saying things that devoted Andrastians would kill you for. Not many people outside of us three would believe you. It's said that the Maker only talked to Andraste, and you're saying He talks to you. Frequently. This isn't-"

"I'm well aware of how dangerous this is," I say softly. "But if you were in my position, what would you do? Ignore Him?"

He pauses, thinking. Then he shakes his head. "No, I suppose I wouldn't." He offers me a hand. "It's settled then. When the Blight has been defeated, we'll assist you as best we can."

My eyes widen. "I don't want to bring you into this. It's not easy."

He shrugs, hand still offered. "Neither is being a Warden, but this way we take orders from a person we know." I hesitate, looking at the three people around me. My brother. Leliana, who has become my best friend, and Alistair. I couldn't go back to life without him. It hurt not knowing who I was missing, but...it would kill me to go on and remember. "Sister?"

I blink, looking back over at him. Then I smirk. "We're practically forming our own cult." But I take his hand anyway, smiling when he grips mine in return.

"Yes, another cult," Alistair says, rolling his eyes.

I grin at him. "The Cult of the Maker."

Leliana shakes her head, saying, "That doesn't sound right." I raise an eyebrow and start to reply when she continues. "The Agents of the Maker, led by His Chosen."

"That actually does have a nice ring to it," Aedan says. He looks back to me. "Well? What do you think?"

"I think I've just started the latest band of heretics the Seekers will come after," I say. I shrug. "But some help would be welcome, and I can't think of anyone better to have with me."

"It is settled, then," Leliana says. "Whatever we were before, and will become, we will always be the Maker's Agents."

"Always," the three of us echo.


	47. The Landsmeet

"Where are they? The Landsmeet must be called to order!" the Chantry priest says.

"I'm not sure," Cyrus says, trying to sound as respectful as he can without having his desire to throttle the woman become obvious. "Just call it. They'll be here shortly, I swear." She sneers at him, and Cyrus is once again struck by the thought that few priests are nice people. _Arrogant shits, _he thinks, shaking his head.

"Lords and ladies of Ferelden!" The mother turns away, shooting the Warden another glare over her shoulder. He huffs, annoyed, and marches back to his companions, shaking his head at the questioning stares he receives.

"Nothing?" Morrigan asks.

"Nothing," Cyrus confirms. "Yet."

"Where could they be?" Fergus asks, walking up to them. Cyrus shakes his head with a shrug. "Ugh, they need to be here! They're at the center of this mess!"

"I am sure they just want to make a spectacular entrance," Zevran says, grinning at his friend. "After all, the Wardens would not pass up a chance to argue with Loghain, no?"

Fergus sighs, running a hand down his face. "Is he always like this?"

"I am afraid so," Zev says brightly.

"Maker."

"My friends!" The party turns as one, eyes locking on the man speaking. Teyrn Loghain. Fergus glares right at him, furious. The man had helped his father train him, been his friend even, and he ordered Howe to murder them! It takes Fergus all of his willpower to hold himself back, especially when the Teyrn starts spouting lies about his siblings at the nobles.

"Am I late?" Elissa asks, walking through the crowd up to him. Aedan and Alistair are on her flanks, the Orlesian behind them. "Ooh, looks as I am. Hmm. What's he ranting about, brother?"

Fergus blinks stupidly, looking to Cyrus for assistance, but the Warden just shakes his head.

"And _there _is the heretic herself!"

* * *

><p>It's been a busy week for us. Hunting down a slaving ring run by none other than Teyrn Loghain, freeing Queen Anora from Fort Drakon, and now the Landsmeet. Where Loghain has decided to publicly announce the incident with the Templars.<p>

"What? I can't even figure out what's going on before we start shooting lies at each other?" I cross my arms. "That's not a very nice thing to do, Loghain. I'm not being mean to you." Aedan shoots me a warning look, so I decide to change tactics, and I walk across the throne room up to him, my three allies on my heels. Wolf stays back with the others, whining at me. "So, what is going on, exactly? What lies have you already said?"

"Enough, probably," Aedan whispers.

"I suspected as much," I reply, looking back to the Teyrn. "Well, if we're going to start playing politicians, should I tell everyone here about the slaving ring you established in the Alienage? Or perhaps how you had your own daughter locked up in Fort Drakon so she couldn't speak out against you?"

He feigns innocence, putting on a face of surprise. "Anora's missing? What have you done to her?"

"Me?! I did no such thing! All I did was free her from the prison!" I snap, stepping closer. He steps closer too, reaching for his own sword. I put my hand on the pommel of mine just as Eamon intervenes.

I'm not exactly sure what he says, but Loghain looks down at me, sneering. "Well-"

"Stop this madness!" Anora shouts. The Landsmeet gasps as one as the queen comes into view, looking furious. "Father, lay down your weapons. You've lost."

"I've lost nothing!"

She sighs, looking past the five of us at the nobles. "Fereldans, I've come here to tell you that what these Wardens say is true. My father had slavers in the Alienage; I've seen the papers with my own eyes, heard the screams of the elves as they were dragged away with my own ears." Her expression saddens. "The only reason I am here today is because the Wardens rescued me from a cell my own father placed me in. He's not the man you all know anymore. He's turned mad, and deserves to be locked away for all of the crimes he's committed."

Loghain genuinely looks sad. "Oh, Anora. They've poisoned your mind."

"My mind is my own."

The throne room is silent for a long while until Eamon dares to break it.

"It is time for us to decide whose banner Ferelden will follow." He looks across to the opposite balcony where my mother stands. "As the highest ranking official in this room, I ask you to start the vote."

She nods solemnly, stepping forward. "Highever stands with the Grey Wardens."

"Biased!" Loghain shouts. He turns towards her, looking at the guards wearing his colors. Highever's guards, which make up the bulk in the room, reach for their weapons. "A-"

"You ordered Arl Howe to murder our family!" I shout, pushing him so he faces me. "You abandoned King Cailan at Ostagar! You left our soldiers, our countrymen, to die at the hands of the darkspawn! You're a coward!"

"Cailan was a boy willing to hand Ferelden over to the Orlesians!"

"He wanted an alliance!" Aedan retorts, stepping up beside me. He reaches into his pack, flaunting a piece of paper. "This is a treaty signed by Empress Celene and King Cailan! Orlais can't hurt us! They're our allies!" He throws it down on the ground, fuming. "Now give me one reason not to kill you for treason."

"Enough!" my mother shouts. "What's passed has passed. We continue the vote."

I glare at the Teyrn, arms crossed. "Fine," I snap, turning away. The instant my back is turned, I hear the sound of metal on leather.

"Look out!"

I whip, and without a second thought, draw my sword, throwing it up between us. His iron sword slams into the gold-colored blade in a shower of sparks, knocking me back.

"Protect the Teyrn!" All of his men shout it, and all of them rush forward, drawing their weapons.

"To the Wardens!"

Most of the Landsmeet's nobility shout it at their soldiers, and quickly enough, it's apparent where Ferelden's allegiances lie. The rest of my party backs the four of us, but everyone else are guards, most of them men from Highever.

Both of the small armies faces off in the center of the throne room, glaring at their enemies.

"Loghain," I say. He glowers at me, but allows me to speak. "Let's end this the right way and avoid further bloodshed."

"One of us must die," he says. "Is that what you call 'avoiding further bloodshed'?"

"No, but less people die this way," I mutter. "What do you say?"

He doesn't seem happy about it, but he calls off his men and says, "I agree."

I nod, saying, "Return to your lords. Your assistance isn't required."

_Yet, _Hope says.

You know, I used to assume Andraste fought with a spear, but now that I think about it, she probably did have a sword. Well, I mean she obviously did, but it makes sense to think she'd have had both.

"Sister?" I look at Aedan to see him offering his shield, but I shake my head. "Are you sure?"

"I won't need it," I say. "But I appreciate the offer." I turn to Loghain, clenching the sword in my fist so hard my knuckles turn white.

"Whomever wins takes the Landsmeet," a priest says. "Begin when it suits you."

Gladly.

Loghain sets his shield on his arm, flexing the grip on his sword.

I suddenly feel very inexperienced compared to this man. He stands with a sure and calm stance, sword and shield settled perfectly, wearing some of the finest armor in Ferelden whereas I just hold my sword and stand in a relaxed position in what could be passed off as traveler's garb if there wasn't as griffon stamped onto my chest.

Well, there's no going back.

I unclasp my cloak, throwing it and my bow and arrows aside. I check that my knife is still holstered on my belt before I look back to Loghain. Time to be brave. Time to get this started.

I run at him, and when he brings up his shield, I hit the ground at an angle, sliding around past him. Still on my knees, I kick at the back of his leg. The Teyrn stumbles forward while I recover and chase him. Loghain recovers just as quickly as I did and slides into a crouch, pointing his sword over his shield at me. I don't hesitate when I get close enough for him to shove his blade out. I grab his shield with my free hand, push it down, and flip over his back as he leans into the blow. I spin and hook my sword on his ankle, pulling his foot from beneath him. Loghain staggers and attempts to regain his balance.

My hand starts burning.

No! Not here! Not now!

I wince, doubling over, hugging my hand, when Loghain pushes me off my feet. I hit the ground with a metallic clang and he kicks my sword away, putting the tip of his against my neck.

"I am sorry it came to this, girl," he says. "You would've done well if you'd stayed out of my business."

I struggle against the pain shooting up and down my arm to get to my dagger. When I feel my fingers close around its hilt, I rip it free and drive the blade into his calf. He cries out in pain, giving me the chance to push him away and roll to my feet, scouring the ground for my sword. I barely spot it behind him, and when I do, I run for it, ignoring how badly the burning is getting. I hear Loghain throw my knife aside as he recovers and gives chase.

_Defend yourself! _Hope exclaims.

I trip on something as I get to my weapon, thrown away from it. I slam into a wall and the wooden support beam with it. The wood is splintered under my weight and I fall to the floor in a shower of splinters, bouncing off my armor. I see something silver out of the corner of my eye and without thinking, I throw up my arm to defend myself. The entire room flashes once in a blinding light. I hear Loghain trip and fall, but I don't see what's wrong with everyone. I get to my feet, shaking, but Alistair, Aedan, and Leliana seem fine, unfazed.

Oh no. My hand...the eye is glowing. But it no longer hurts, and Hope seems satisfied.

And Loghain's regaining his feet.

I bolt, leaping over him, reaching for my sword. He's on his feet by the time I turn back to him, shaking his head.

"I always knew you were a mage," he says. "Bryce ignored the signs."

Thank the Maker he thinks I used magic.

We run at each other at the same time. I allow him to swing first and I drop to my knees, skidding beneath his sword arm. I have no clue how he managed to run like he did, what with the wound in the side of his leg, but I'll give him credit for it. He's a tough man.

I slam my gloved fist up into his elbow, knocking his sword from his grasp. It flies into the crowd, thankfully missing the bystanders. Loghain looks like he's in a lot of pain, but he pushes through, taking his shield as a weapon now. He bashes me with it and I fall again. He draws a dagger of his own, but I roll out of the way again, leaping to my feet. I come up behind him, driving my foot into the small of his back.

Just as I raise my sword to end this, someone yells for us to stop.

I look over my shoulder, eyes locking on Riordan, a Warden from Jader that we freed with Anora. "Riordan?"

"Don't kill him," the man says, walking forward. "Conscript him. Make him a Warden. He's a well-respected warrior and an excellent fighter. It'll show that we aren't just trying to kill a powerful man."

"What?!" Even Cyrus sounds surprised by this, and just as displeased as Aedan, Alistair, and me.

"No!" I say furiously. "He left Duncan and the other Wardens to die. He betrayed his country. He hurt his own daughter, our queen!" I look down at him, sneering. "He deserves to die."

"But surely you'd benefit from such a deal!" Anora says.

I shake my head. "Anora, we've been friends as long as I remember, and I supported Cailan everyday of my life. This man has caused Ferelden nothing but grief since Ostagar, and he deserves the sentence any other would get." I sigh sadly. "I don't care if you hate me for this. I'll understand if you can't forgive me, too. But he must die." I look down anytime Loghain. "I'm truly sorry it came to this."

"Elissa, please..." Anora is begging now.

"Hush, Anora," Loghain says, bowing his head. "It is over." He takes in a shaky breath. "Make it quick, Warden. And keep our country safe."

"Yes, ser," I whisper. My last ounce of respect for the general goes into those words, and then I rend his head from his shoulders.

* * *

><p>"It is decided then," Eamon says as the Landsmeet reconvenes. "Alistair will take his brother's throne."<p>

"Woah, when did we decide this?!" Alistair demands. "Why can't Anora just have it? I'm in no place to become King!" He starts fumbling for words. "I-I...I'm not even a legitimate son!"

"No, but you are of Calenhad's bloodline, and that's what matters," Eamon says. He looks to me, eyes full of sadness. "You are at the center of this, my lady. Who do you want on the throne?"

I take in a shaky breath, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. "Anora. Anora will rule Ferelden."

"Thank you, Warden," she says, somehow managing to keep herself together after what she just witnessed less than an hour ago. I take note of the title she gives me, though. I didn't expect her to forgive me, and I never will. That's not a fair thing to expect, anyway. We were friends for the longest time, and then I killed her father. It's understandable.

"Meet me back in Redcliffe," Eamon says, snapping me out of my thoughts. "We can further coordinate there."


	48. Return to Redcliffe

The march south was a long one. Long, quiet, and boring. Saddening, too. Alistair seemed somewhat iffy on what happened, but the others had nothing to say. Theorn, the creepy elf-Qunari guy that refers to me as 'The Chosen' everywhere we go keeps muttering things to himself, but everyone seems used to it, so I say nothing.

A mile out from Redcliffe, I can sense the darkspawn.

Aedan runs back from scouting ahead, shouting, "Darkspawn!"

"Weapons ready!" I order, drawing my bow. "We move at a run!" It takes a moment or so, but they all have their weapons ready quickly, and then we're running for the village. And not long thereafter, the smoke is visible, and the amount of darkspawn is obvious. I smell burning flesh, death, and the horrible reek darkspawn carry. People's screams can be heard from here as they flee their town or stand, fight, and die. Villagers run past, some wounded, some uninjured, and others carried on slings. It's a battle in and of itself for us to get through the crowd of people, and once we do, we see a pyre in the center of the village below. Genlocks put their version of spears in the ground around it, many bearing the heads of recalled knights. Bodies are being thrown into the flames.

And that's when I see an ogre bite into a small child, a boy no older than Connor or Oren. My temper flares as anger bubbles through me, and I can't wait any longer.

"Leliana, Cyrus, Zev, with me," I say. "We're taking the faster way down." The three of them nod as I pat my leg for Wolf to follow.

"We'll meet you in the town!" Aedan calls. I wave back at him before I leap halfway down the hill. My feet connect with a jolt and I roll, sliding down the rest of the way. Wolf gets down just as easily as we do, and we run down the smaller, flatter hill into the village. The darkspawn don't notice us at first. Don't see how that works, but whatever.

"Hey!" I shout, drawing an arrow. A genlock turns to face me, but I fire my arrow before it can so much as twitch. I look for the ogre, but it has disappeared, taking its snack with it. I grimace at the thought even as a pack of darkspawn charge at my party of five. I drop the first few easily, preventing them from reaching the rest of my companions. But then Leliana starts firing alongside me, Wolf charges, and Zev and Cyrus are forced into moving as well.

"When this is over, the first thing we do is take a Maker-damn nap!" I say, ducking under an arrow flying for my face.

"That sounds nice!" Leliana replies.

"Damn right it does!" I spin, firing three arrows in quick succession down the rickety dock to our left. Three hurlocks drop in time with one another, and I have to draw my sword to keep them off Leliana and I. As I turn to check on her, I see the ogre.

Storming straight for us.

My friend turns to the rumbling, but it raises its hand, roaring. She might be fast, but no one on Thedas is fast enough to dodge that. Not even me when Hope is out. But I need to do what's right. I don't even give it a second thought; Hope is free the same instant the hand is fully up, and I'm running the instant it starts to fall. I tackle her, throwing us both out of the way. At least, that's the plan. The ogre catches me by the ankle. It's obvious it didn't expect that. It thought it wouldn't get either of us after the stunt I pulled, but it got me, and it's hand opens when I'm in midair, throwing me sky-high. I look down at the ogre's confused face, but it doesn't stay confused for long, and by the time I start on my way back down to the earth, it's holding a hand out to catch me.

This is fucking ridiculous.

But it snatches me right out of the air and wastes no time in whipping me thirty feet across the village into Leliana. My momentum flings us into the Chantry doors, rolling straight into the hiding place of dozens of villagers.

Coughing, I push myself to my feet. "You good?"

"Yeah," she says, panting. "It would have been nice if you were not thrown at me."

I snort in amusement. "Yeah, kinda ruined the original gesture, didn't it?" I help her to her feet just as the darkspawn race inside after us.

"Very much so," she agrees, drawing the two daggers strapped beneath her empty quiver. "Thank you, by the way. For what you tried to do."

I smile at her. "We're friends, right? That's what we do for each other." I adjust my shoulder guard before adding, "What would really be nice is if Aedan and Alistair would get their asses moving."

She nods before launching herself into the fighting, cutting two darkspawn down within three seconds. I follow that same second, and together, we manage to draw all the darkspawn to us, effectively making sure they ignore the villagers. Naturally, they swarm me in massive mini-hordes, keeping me from watching her back. We get separated, and we call out to each other every few seconds to make sure the other's okay.

I spin, dropping to a knee as I fire as lightning bolt into as small crowd of darkspawn. It crackles from one to the other, killing the lot of them without using too much mana.

The ground starts shaking again, announcing the ogre's impending arrival.

I drive my gold sword up through the nearest hurlock, frost from the enchantment freezing the wound over. I look back at the Chantry doors just in time to see the beast rip through, smashing the front of the building.

"Go!" I say, pointing at the back of the Chantry. "Get as far away as you can! Hur-" A hurlock slams a massive hammer into my chest, knocking all of the air from my lungs. I stagger back, flinging a fireball at it to protect myself. I cough, inhaling as much air as I can. I point with my sword. "Go!" I repeat, wheezing. I fall to my knees, but Leliana is here a moment later, helping me to my feet.

The villagers are now running for the exit at the back, but the ogre and what little darkspawn remain give chase. Children are screaming. Mothers try to keep them hidden, but they're seen anyway, and I'm in no condition to help. I'm not sure when I smothered Hope, but I let her loose again. I uncrush the front of my armor with a spell before running after the fleeing villagers. Air now floods my lungs, thankfully, and running is so much easier.

But I'm still not going to catch up before the darkspawn reach them. Frustrated and angered at the very thought of that ogre eating another child, I slam my sword point-first through the floorboards. I might not have a staff, but I have a three-foot longsword that can serve the exact same purpose.

That's the only useful thing this sword has done so far. Be forged with lyrium before people were smart enough to leave touching it to the Tranquil and the dwarves.

I send a charge through the blade and the lyrium amplifies it, sending tendrils of electricity across the floor and into the darkspawn. The genlocks and hurlocks drop like flies seconds before they would've been on top of the villagers. The ogre is stunned stupid and knocked off its feet. Before I can fully come to terms with the enormity of the spell I just casted, Leliana rushes up to the beast, slamming her daggers hilt-deep within its chest.

I pull my sword up from the flooring, but that's all that was holding me upright, and I stagger backwards, right into someone's arms.

"I got you," Alistair whispers gently. "Shh. Easy."

"Dear...Maker," I pant as he eases me into a sitting position. "That was not...an easy...spell." I flop back on the floor, heaving for air, energy, and the willpower to even move. I lay here for a few minutes until my muscles stop aching. When I sit up, Leliana sits down beside me, nodding.

"Good job," she says.

I inhale deeply before I grab the Orlesian in a hug. She hesitates before hugging me back. "The last thing I expected to find in you, an Orlesian, was a sister." She laughs as I release her. I smile at her. "I'm proud to be able to call you that."

She smiles back. "I feel the same way."

I let out a weak laugh, saying, "Good. That would've been really awkward if you didn't." She laughs again, but I'm starting to realize I don't find it as annoying as I did before, just like her accent. "Come on. I still sense some of these bastards."

Leliana is on her feet first, and she helps me up. Alistair and Aedan rejoin us from checking that the villagers Leliana and I saved were all right.

"You killed all of these...by yourself?" Aedan asks, astonished.

"We work well together," I say, shrugging.

"Yes, when an ogre has not thrown you eighty feet into the air," Leliana says. "Honestly, Elissa, next time just let me get grabbed."

"No," I say simply, like it's something that shouldn't be questioned. "You'd do the same for me, so I returned the favor. Besides, we both made it out of that alive. I think it worked out rather well, actually."

"Fair enough," she says.

"Guys!" Cyrus shouts. He's just outside of the wreckage at the front of the building, waving us out. "There are darkspawn attacking the castle!"

"Of course there are," Alistair says, obviously annoyed.

"Hey, you could be dancing the Remigold for Cailan in a dress, so quit complaining," I say, stepping past.

"I...you remember that?" Alistair asks as they follow me.

"Yeah," I say. "Remember how I said I think I'd like to see that and you said it'd have to be an pretty dress? Well, if we make it out of this alive, I plan on taking you up on that offer." I glance back to see him blushing while Aedan laughs so hard it looks like he is too, and feel a sense of warmth overwhelm me. Despite everything, those three really have become a family to me, and I really would die for any of them. Aedan's always been there for me, literally since the day we were born, and Alistair's had my back since we set foot in Ostagar. Leliana has become like a sister to me, clearly. She's been the one I tend to run around with if it's not Alistair. We got thrown in jail together. I ran after a damn healer while getting chased by werewolves for her and all she could do was thank me afterwards. We broke Alistair and Cyrus out of Fort Drakon together. Hell, she even got shot by a slave for me last week. And she's kept Aedan sane throughout the Blight, especially when I couldn't.

I swear to the Maker, if one of us can't come out of the Blight alive, it's going to be me that dies. Aedan has a life to live with Leliana. Alistair...Alistair will find someone new despite what he believes. I can't...I won't let him die for me. I won't let any of them do that.

Either we all make it, or I don't.

* * *

><p>I walk into the main hall just in time to hear Riordan say:<p>

"The Archdemon has shown itself at the head of the horde."

My heart stops beating right there. I just stare at his back, too shocked and terrified to move. This...this is really a Blight. I mean, I knew it was, but now all of Ferelden does.

And she has no all my mobilized to defend her.

I snap myself out of my shock to walk up to them. Alistair, Aedan, and Cyrus all look somewhat unnerved and defeated. "Where are the darkspawn marching?"

"Denerim," Riordan says.

"Then we must move quickly," I say. "They'd have a massive headstart on us, and our troops aren't quite ready to march."

He nods. "I must speak with you four tonight. It is very important."

I nod, too. "I will send birds out to our allies. I'll tell them all to change course and march here immediately. We can't attack in bunches without a banner holding us together." The older Warden nods again. "I'll meet you all in Riordan's room."

"May the Maker watch over us," Riordan says solemnly.

"May He watch over us all," I say as I walk out of the main hall.


	49. The Horde

_So this chapter gets really clippy after talking to Riordan. Just a warning! And as you can see, this story is almost over! :( But...there's gonna be the first chapter of the sequel up soon! I promise! Maybe tomorrow if you ask nicely o.o_

I walk upstairs, feeling a little defeated. Hope's buzzing has turned into her chanting random words and that makes it hard for me to focus on just about everything. I almost walk into the door, but thankfully, there's a guard waiting up for me, and he holds it, shaking his head in amusement. I don't even have the brainpower to feel embarrassed. I just wave back at him as I progress down the hallway to Riordan's room, practically falling on the door to open it. They're waiting for me, Alistair watching with a concerned gaze at my I'm-not-actually-drunk-but-hurt stupor, but says nothing.

"There is something important I must tell you," Riordan begins. He goes through this whole speech, but I zone out, trying to shut Hope up. I manage to just as he concludes it. I missed the entire thing, but Alistair looks shocked.

"So...the Grey Warden who kills the Archdemon...dies?" he asks.

"I am afraid so," he says sadly. "The eldest Warden always takes the final blow so as to give their brothers and sisters as long a life as possible. It should be me to do it in that case. Cyrus has only been as Warden for five years or so, and Alistair for a year and a half. You two...you should be our last resort."

As if I thought this day could get any worse.

"No," I say, stepping forward. "Even though the Taint won't spare you much longer, Riordan, I can't let you die. It should be me. I'm a possessed mage; it would be safer for all of Thedas if-"

"We will see when the time comes, shall we not?" Riordan asks. I open my mouth to speak, but then I nod, understanding I won't win the argument here. I'll just have to make sure it's me who kills the dragon. That's the only option I have. "All right. Return to your chambers. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for all of us."

We nod, dispersing slowly as we can. Alistair sticks beside me, holding my hand in a blatant show of not caring anymore. He pulls me down to his room and locks the door behind us, but he doesn't try anything. He just wraps his arms around me, holding me against his chest. I hug him back, trying my damnest to not cry.

But we both do, collapsing on the floor together in a mess of hurt and anger and confusion. He holds me as I hold him, neither of us willing to move to get some rest. We sit here for what feels like hours, crying ourselves out, when someone knocks on the door.

"Go away," I say, voice shaking.

"It's me," Aedan says softly. "I uh...I need to talk to you guys. It's really, really important. Like...it can't wait important."

I free myself from Alistair's grasp and he pulls me to my feet, wiping the lingering tears off my face before allowing me to open the door. Aedan stumbles in, looking disheveled as all hell and disgusted by something.

"What is it?" I ask, running the back of my hand across my eyes.

"I uh...um...well, I did...this thing...with Morrigan...and we uh...we...we might not die," Aedan says.

"What sort of thing?" I demand.

"A...thing," Aedan says. "Just...don't tell Leliana. I'll...I'll explain it to her after the Archdemon is dead."

My eyes widen. "You did _not_."

"I had to!"

I throw my hands up. "Well, we'll just see how this goes, then, huh?"

* * *

><p>I shovel in a quick breakfast on the road, walking along with my companions. I can't even look at Morrigan without feeling disgusted. She forced Aedan to cheat on Leliana, and I'm not even sure if Talith knows.<p>

The mages met us yesterday, but we could already see signs of darkspawn movement. The dwarves returned our bird, saying they'd already made it to Highever and would meet us with the Highever forces at Denerim. The elves returned a message as well, saying they'd stop to wait for us at the forest.

And we still have two more days on the road. We need to move! The longer we take, the more people die! It drives me nuts!

* * *

><p>I can sense the horde from here. Maker help us.<p>

The soldiers notice how agitated the five of us have been. They're getting nervous too, and nothing we say will calm them. Not even the reminder that Highever's troops are just down the hill, along with the dwarves. Why?

Because the darkspawn are just down that hill, hidden by trees, and so is the Archdemon. We've been listening to it roar for the past hour.

"Form ranks!" Alistair yells as he runs farther down the hill. Aedan and I follow, looking down at the assembled mess outside of the city gates. The darkspawn have lined up with hostages, killing some every few minutes just to remind us how vulnerable we are, how vulnerable we left our capital.

I look left, where Highever's soldiers are taking up the front lines while the dwarves squish between them and Redcliffe, putting the elves just before the mages, who are last. Then I look back to the city, frowning.

There's a black mass curled around Fort Drakon. I watch it for several seconds, confused, but then it expands, growing, widening, until the shape of a high dragon is visible.

"The Archdemon," I say.

"It's even bigger than the one at Haven," Alistair says.

I shake my head, slapping on my brave face. "That doesn't matter. It'll die just as easily."

"Elissa-" I hold up a hand to forestall Alistair's protests.

"We're the leaders here," I say. "We _must _act accordingly, or the men will back down." He swallows, but nods, putting on the bravest face he can. I turn, jogging back towards the army. Alistair and Aedan follow, taking up my flanks like bodyguards.

"Soldiers of Ferelden! On the other side of this hill stands the greatest army we've ever faced! It's not human, elf, dwarf, or even Qunari. It's an army of monsters, attacking the heart of our home! They stand there now, killing our countrymen because they think it'll scare us into submission, but it won't. We're all soldiers, we've seen people die before! People have died everyday for the past year because those things, those darkspawn, misjudged us! They think we're as heartless and cold as they are, but we're not! We're better than they are! We care about our comrades! We try to defend them and mourn them when they are lost.

"Yes, some of your allies today are of different races, but don't let that come between you. Humans aren't any better than elves or dwarves and vice versa. Mages aren't to be feared just because we possess some abnormal power most men lack. We're all Fereldans, humans, elves, dwarves, mages. And that's why you're here today! Because those things are out there, killing and eating our families and friends just because they can!

"I've been asked if I believe we will win with only five Grey Wardens left, and I keep saying we will. Not because the elves are amazing shots, or because the soldiers of Highever are some of the brightest in Thedas, but because I believe all of you are good people, because I believe all of you are willing to overcome the social barriers we have in place and fight as one army! Because I believe you all can look at each other and see past the diversity here to see you're all Fereldans! There are people of all races in Denerim right now, mages and normal people, nobles and commoners, but if there's one thing I know about Fereldans is that we're as mean as an Archdemon if you question our great country! I've heard humans from here defending Fereldan elves against Free Marchers and Orlesians.

"You already can do it. I've seen it countless times. Look past races here. Look past genders and anything else you can think of because at the end of the day, we're all Fereldans, and we live in the greatest nation in all of Thedas!"

Aedan raises his sword over his head, shouting, "For Ferelden!" Highever's men echo the cry and it ripple through the ranks, forcing me to realize just how large of an army we have at our disposal.

"Weapons ready!" I shout, drawing my sword. I swear, the thing looks like it's glowing in the orange lighting.

"Sound the charge!" Alistair yells. The horns in the front blare so loudly they drown out the army's screams and shouts.

And then the three of us lead the run down the hill.

Someone starts the chant all over again, and quickly enough, the army is shouting 'For Ferelden!' all over again. The elves pour out the sides of the army once we're about halfway down, covering the sides of the road in several layers of archers. They pepper the army of darkspawn, keeping them from organizing themselves.

The Archdemon, which had disappeared during my speech, now makes a reappearance. It bursts from the top of Fort Drakon, roaring furiously, before landing smack in the middle of us and the darkspawn.

We skid to a halt as one, but the elves keep firing, cutting more and more darkspawn to pieces.

"Cyrus! Riordan!" I call. "Here!" The two Wardens appear from somewhere in the army, jumping on the ends of our small line of three. I look back at the line of soldiers. The first rank, everyone nearby, I recognize all of them. All Highever soldiers, all men and women I've trained with. The first to die.

But also the bravest.

"Wait for us to get the dragon's attention!" I shout. "Whatever you do, do _not _engage it!"

_Puny Wardens. You will burn in my fire. _

I almost laugh at the attempt to scare us. I point my sword directly at the Archdemon, whispering, "Then come get us."

_Fools. _

It takes off, flying back to Fort Drakon.

I glance at the Wardens standing with me. "Hmph. More darkspawn to kill, then!"

We resume our mad dash downhill, drawing closer and closer to the darkspawn with each second. The elves close the ranks behind us, boxing us and the darkspawn in.

"Now!" Aedan shouts.

As one, the entire army hits the dirt, clearing the way for the mages. Their spells whiz overhead, cutting off the small charge the darkspawn had mounted. Many are fireballs and lightning strikes, taking down as many as possible. Confusion spreads through them and we scramble to our feet, finding order within moments of being back up. The darkspawn are still dazed from the surprise attack, and that gives us the chance to smash through their ranks.

The five of us try to stick together, but it becomes increasingly difficult with every inch we gain. The darkspawn don't have much of a chance to defend themselves and we punch a hole right down the middle to the gates. I don't know where they all came from, but our companions back us as we slip through the rapidly closing doors to the city.

They slam shut just as Wynne slides in. There's a strange finality to it, but that's when I see the band of darkspawn awaiting us.

"At last," Sten says.

"The beginning of the end," says Theorn.


	50. The Archdemon

_If you just clicked on this chapter, you might want to go back to 41. I updated A LOT today._

I spin under an alpha's broadaxe, dropping to my hands and knees before pushing up and kicking it. I spring up on its chest, slamming Andraste's blade through its throat in a bubble of black blood. I throw the sword up in the air, drawing my bow and firing off several arrows before it comes back down, landing solidly in my hand. I'm not exactly sure when Hope came out, but she's here now, making me ridiculously fast, too fast for the darkspawn to comprehend. And between my glowing and the torches Leliana and Aedan chuck at them, they're blinded. Our ascent of Fort Drakon is short and easy.

It's just the four of us. Me, Aedan, Leliana, and Alistair. Riordan died trying to kill the Archdemon and we left Cyrus in charge at the gates, tasked with keeping any darkspawn on their respective sides of the walls. Any try to come in, kill 'em. Any try to get out, kill 'em too. Cyrus wasn't very happy with being left behind, leaving the youngest Wardens to die, but we had to. They needed a leader, and despite his past and usually snarky attitude, Cyrus is exactly what the soldiers need there.

We open a door, and there stands Sandal, equipment at the ready and surrounded by darkspawn corpses. I don't even care. I go up to the dwarf, grabbing the touched kid in a hug. He squeals in delight, laughing.

"You got potions for me?" I ask.

He nods. "Free for the kind, glowy lady."

I sigh with relief, patting his shoulder. "If I see you again, let me know I owe your father. Big time." I hand him several runes. "Give me every single healing potion and lyrium potion you've got. We're running low." He nods, opening the massive bronze chest beside him. I hear things clanking around inside for several minutes when he hands me two packs, one full with each potion I asked for. I pull off my own, handing it to him. "Watch that for me, okay? I'll be back for it." I hope.

I sling the pack with lyrium potions on in place of my own before distributing the healing potions out to my three companions. I only take a few, and they notice.

"Elissa, you can't-" Leliana starts.

I shake my head. "One of us isn't coming back," I say. "And it's going to be me." Alistair immediately starts protesting, but I give him such a hard look he shuts up. Aedan is looking at his feet, shaking angrily. Leliana looks beyond sad, and seeing all of them like this breaks my heart. "I can't trust that it worked, Aedan. I _will _be the one to end that thing."

"Elissa, please..." Alistair looks like he's about to die from emotional stress.

"No," I say firmly. "You know how fast I killed the high dragon in Haven. The Archdemon won't be any different. It'll save the most lives if I can kill it."

He looks down, breathing shaky, before he grabs me, wrapping his arms around me. I hug him back, just as upset as he is. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I don't want to be a hero. I don't want to die. But I can't think twice, and I won't. Hope and I have the greatest chance of killing the Archdemon, and that's what we're going to do.

_Ready? _Hope asks.

_Can I say something before I die? _

_Of course. _

_I'm glad you thought me worthy of...this. I'm glad to say I've found a friend in you. But years from now, when you're back in the Fade, do me a favor, and don't put anyone else through this. _

_I can't make anyone promises, but I'll try. _

_Thank you, _I say. _But...why _did _you choose to help me? _

_I am not sure, _Hope says. _The Father had told me long ago to wait for you, so I did. But I didn't realize you were...you until we reached the temple and the Urn. That day in the castle, I saw the one and only mage who I couldn't see giving into temptation hurting, in need of my help. In need of hope. So I gave it. _

"Thank you," I whisper so quietly no one can hear.

Hope resumes her buzzing, but it is almost mournful, like my death will hurt her.

I sigh, pulling free from Alistair's grip. "Well, let's not keep the Archdemon waiting. It wants a Warden to die, so let's give it that."

Either way, I'm going to be dead within the next hour.

* * *

><p>Darkspawn swarm us, attacking from any and all angles in an attempt to keep us from the dragon at the center of it all. It doesn't work. Not with Hope helping me. I rip through the stupid monsters like I'm slicing butter, but there's so many, so many that feeling all of them hurts, that I have an ocean to cross. They scream and grunt, thirsty for our blood.<p>

But none of us fall. We're stocked and ready to go. I down so many lyrium potions I start to feel sick. I feel numb all over from all the wounds I sustain, all the potions flowing through my body, all the moving. Smoke rises up from the city below, filling my lungs with it, and I begin to get dizzy. Hope does her best to keep my head clear, to keep me moving, but she can't do it all, and that's when one of the shrieks tackles me, raising its claws above its head.

No. I can't die. Not yet. Not until the Archdemon is!

I reach for my sword, somehow finding its hilt. I swing it up at an angle, slicing through the shade-like darkspawn's face. It stumbles off me before Leliana fires the last of her arrows into it. I scramble to my feet, spinning in a circle, when I see the clear shot I have. The Archdemon is occupied with Aedan in his attempt to keep me from dying. He's got through it and black blood leaks everywhere from its hide and scales, but as he goes to finish it off, it smacks him aside like a toy.

I flex my grip on my sword before I run through the crowd of darkspawn. The Archdemon isn't down quite yet, but I'll make sure it ends up that way.

The beast sways as it turns to face me. I quickly down another lyrium potion, shuddering at the rush of energy that now numbs me even further. It roars halfheartedly as my left arm covers itself in shards of ice. Frost pours from my skin, and then I throw my first spell. The ground freezes in a line, rushing closer and closer to the dragon. It backs away, shooting purple flames at me, but I duck and roll beneath them, throwing more mana into getting the spell across the tower. It does, shooting up as spikes once it is beneath its target, impaling the underside of the Archdemon. It roars in pain, but stays standing, so I lob a ball of ice at its chest, throwing it back with a crash. The whole tower shakes, somehow managing to withstand the weight of the monster. The Archdemon gets up again, furious but unable to act, and I throw several balls of icy spikes at it. They tear its wings open so it can't flee. It lies there, seemingly defeated, but when I draw closer, its eyes snap open and it raises its head, opening its mouth to cook me where I stand. I cast a shield on myself and run forward through the smoke and fire, leaping with my sword ready.

The blade pierces its skull and the head flops down to the floor. My hands feel rooted to my sword. I can't move, and suddenly, I'm afraid I made the wrong choice. I feel my body ripping in millions of different directions, my very soul being smashed to pieces. Holy light-dear Maker-peeks out from the hole in the Archdemon's skull, amassing in brightness until it blinds me, and then shoots into the sky.

The pain just vanishes as quickly as it came, weakening me, and the light itself throws me back from the dead dragon.

* * *

><p>Alistair panics as soon as she hits the ground. The darkspawn just...stand there, unmoving, when Aedan and Leliana begin cutting through them. They don't even fight back. They just die and take it. No more come, and all Alistair does is stare at the unmoving Warden less than ten feet away.<p>

"Elissa!" Aedan shouts. He pushes past Alistair, sliding to a stop and dropping to his knees at his sister's side. Leliana joins him, but Alistair still feels like he can't move.

What if the Ritual with Morrigan didn't work? What if she's really dead?

He finds the courage to join them, dropping to the floor with a clang. Aedan and Leliana aren't checking her for signs of life. They must think...she really must be...

Alistair reaches forward, removing his gauntlet in the process, to touch two fingers to her neck.

And he can't describe the relief he feels.

"She's alive," he breathes, laughing weakly.

That spurs Aedan into action. He fumbles for a healing potion and forces it down her throat. Alistair waits a few seconds to give it the chance to kick in before checking again. And there it is. Much stronger.

"The Maker really is with her," Aedan says, shaking his head.


End file.
